Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Inspector 34
Mar 9, 2009

DOES NOT RESPECT THE RUN

BUT THEY WILL
Maybe just treat cats with the same respect you would a stripper, just because they're on your lap doesn't mean you're allowed to touch them.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
I've only experienced mean cats so my natural reaction to a cat jumping on my lap or something is to tense up and remain completely still until it gets bored and leaves.

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Nothing you say will make me like cats. Exception maybe for that one cat that keeps harassing Michael Rappaport. That thing is amazing.

I like dogs because they love you and you love them. They want pets, and you want to pet. Obviously if they get mad they will let you know. But they won't go up to see you and then get mad when you react.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I've only experienced mean cats so my natural reaction to a cat jumping on my lap or something is to tense up and remain completely still until it gets bored and leaves.


also this. very much this. I don't trust them.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

CelticPredator posted:

Nothing you say will make me like cats. Exception maybe for that one cat that keeps harassing Michael Rappaport. That thing is amazing.

I like dogs because they love you and you love them. They want pets, and you want to pet. Obviously if they get mad they will let you know. But they won't go up to see you and then get mad when you react.



also this. very much this. I don't trust them.

Yep cats hate being petted it isn’t you

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

I am allowed to not like cats.

docbeard
Jul 19, 2011

CelticPredator posted:

I am allowed to not like cats.

As your lawyer in Cat Court I would advise you to not answer any further questions.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

CelticPredator posted:

I am allowed to not like cats.

And you are allowed to not like Taco Bell but if you complain that it tastes bad when you dip it in ketchup you sound silly

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Explain what exactly is wrong with my petting technique.

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh
So many people I work with have no spatial awareness, or just the ability to see other coworkers as people trying to get stuff done just like them.

My supervisor and a couple other coworkers came in to ask me a question, then continued their conversation for a good 5-10 minutes standing right by desk even though they didn’t need me, and it was super distracting.

And there was the time I was standing by the microwave waiting for my lunch to finish reheating, and a higher-up came in, took my stuff out even though it still had a minute or so to go, and reheated his.

Maybe I’m just a pushover or I just blend into the background or something but it’s quite discouraging.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I'd only say you're a pushover if you watched wordlessly as they took your food out of the microwave.

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh

Brawnfire posted:

I'd only say you're a pushover if you watched wordlessly as they took your food out of the microwave.

I was afraid to say more than “oh, sorry, it’s still going” on account of him being a VIP and me being a temp on contract. He was on his phone though so he probably didn’t hear me!

BalloonFish
Jun 30, 2013



Fun Shoe
Cat peeve: My gf moved in with me a year ago and brought her cat with her. No problem - while I prefer dogs I get on well with cats. We had cats continuously for the 18 years I lived with my parents' place - never less than two, sometimes as much as four. They were dumb, big Burmese softies which generally kept themselves to themselves but were happy to come and steal your body warmth in bed on cold winter nights and sit on your lap for petting on their own terms - standard cat behaviour.

Bella straight-up doesn't like me. The first time I went over to gf's house I went for an introductory petting and, with no body language warnings, she sank her teeth into my hand. Which she'd never done before to anyone. Further petting attempts were rejected by claw swipes. Now, after a year of living together we've reached an uneasy truce - she will use me for warmth and petting when there is no other human available (I work freelance from home most days while gf has a proper job) but is hilariously aloof all the other times. It's actually funny when we have friends over and we're all in the front room greeting. Bella trots up, jumps on the table for collective petting and fussing, going right round the circle of hands but studiously avoiding mine - "gently caress you, BalloonFish, we don't get on...!".

The actual peeve is her habit of coming up to my office bang on the dot of 12.30pm, meowing and rubbing her face on my hands as I type because this is lunch time for her. She'll lead me all the way down stairs to the kitchen, twine herself around my legs and jump up with her front paws on the kitchen units as I dish out her food. And then, once the dish is on the floor and she's checked that quality and quantity is correct, she'll trot out of the room or out the cat flap on some other cat business. She's not peckish, she's just keeping me in my correct place on the cat/human hierarchy by making sure I doll out food at the expected time and place, feigning affection to do so. It's 100% cat behaviour and I both admire and abhor its brazenness and "do my bidding, human!" gall.

Secondary cat peeve: We have a multi-coloured striped rug in the living room and she's started using her natural camouflage to sit or lie exclusively on one of the two black bands to create extra trip hazards. My cat wants me dead and I'm sure she will find a way of doing so once she can master opening the food pouches by herself.

Kitchen equipment peeve: My kitchen stove is a flush-fit ceramic hob with touch-sensitive 'buttons' controlling the rings/timer etc. It has one 'button' to turn the thing on and activate the other buttons. The good people at Zanussi obviously thought of the possibility that someone could place something on the hob and accidentally turn on one of the rings, even if that would require pressing two spaced buttons successively. So there's a light and pressure sensor built into the hob around the button cluster. Place something over it and the hob beeps loudly and insistently. Not three warning beeps. Not 10 seconds of beeps. Not even a minute of beeps. It will beep in a piercing, irritating fashion for as long as whatever it is is removed. Since my kitchen is small and doesn't have a lot of counter space, things like shopping bags, trays, rolls of foil etc. often find themselves being placed on the hob buttons. As do pots, pans, trays and plates you've just taken out of the oven or moved off one of the rings. So you always find yourself with hands full, the hob squawking away and nowhere to move the offending item. There's also a delay of a few seconds before it kicks in, which is just enough time to place [item] down, leave the kitchen and get to the other side of the living room before the beeping starts. And it will beep for hours if you let it. And the real kicker? It's a pointless system. If what you've placed on the buttons has triggered the beep, it won't turn anything on - the hob can't beep and work at the same time. One time in a hundred you'll put something heavy and small enough down to plip the power button and the hob will turn on without the beep, because the hob can't tell the difference between your finger and a particularly full pepper grinder. It's a system that is entirely useless at its job and does nothing but irritate me. And it's such a nothing-problem in the grand scheme of things, which makes it all the more annoying that it bugs me so, so much.

Seventh Arrow
Jan 26, 2005

I just had a root canal at the dentist while Friends played on the TV. The root canal was definitely the less miserable form of torture.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

BalloonFish posted:

Secondary cat peeve: We have a multi-coloured striped rug in the living room and she's started using her natural camouflage to sit or lie exclusively on one of the two black bands to create extra trip hazards. My cat wants me dead and I'm sure she will find a way of doing so once she can master opening the food pouches by herself.
You know what happens to cat owners who die and aren't found for a while, right? Never let her figure out you're made from the same stuff that's in the pouches, or you're done for.

KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


My Lovely Horse posted:

You know what happens to cat owners who die and aren't found for a while, right? Never let her figure out you're made from the same stuff that's in the pouches, or you're done for.

That's mostly a myth. Like dogs they'll actually wait until they're desperately hungry before digging in. Ask A Mortician on Youtube did a video on this.

Cats rule. Dogs also rule. But they have vastly different general personalities and body language. I like cats because they're just so unapologetic. They do exactly what they want, when they want, and interaction is sort of a mutual agreement things. Dogs are just happy-go-lucky bundles of happiness, and that's cool too. I just prefer the way cats behave, it's not a given that they'll like you, so it sort of matters more when a cat takes a liking to you.

KozmoNaut has a new favorite as of 11:07 on Dec 12, 2018

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
If I die forgotten my pets (or future kids) are welcome to consume my flesh. I want my ashes put in one of those tree planter things anyway so what’s the difference?

MightyJoe36
Dec 29, 2013

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Seventh Arrow posted:

I just had a root canal at the dentist while Friends played on the TV. The root canal was definitely the less miserable form of torture.

This is my pet peeve - TVs loving everywhere! In the grocery store, in the dentist/doctor office, in the gym. And it's always either some annoying Dr. Phil poo poo, or worse, CNN/Fox News. Everybody has a smartphone now and isn't watching anyway.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

MightyJoe36 posted:

This is my pet peeve - TVs loving everywhere! In the grocery store, in the dentist/doctor office, in the gym. And it's always either some annoying Dr. Phil poo poo, or worse, CNN/Fox News. Everybody has a smartphone now and isn't watching anyway.

The gym I used to go to had the cardio room lined with different subtitled tvs on different stations. What made it glorious instead of annoying was the CNN, CBC, and Fox would all be playing side-by-side, often covering the same events.

LIVE: Obama consoles grieving families after latest shooting
LIVE: US Pres. Obama holds press conference
LIVE: Obama pushes gun control

PizzaProwler
Nov 4, 2009

Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.

MightyJoe36 posted:

Everybody has a smartphone now

This assumption peeves me.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit
Dogs are dumber than dirt and trust anything automatically, all you cat haters are expecting cats to be dogs.

MightyJoe36 posted:

This is my pet peeve - TVs loving everywhere! In the grocery store, in the dentist/doctor office, in the gym. And it's always either some annoying Dr. Phil poo poo, or worse, CNN/Fox News. Everybody has a smartphone now and isn't watching anyway.

I took my roommate to an appointment a few weeks back and they had Home Shopping Network on the waiting room TV :psyduck:

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

Cats rule

Rabbit Hill
Mar 11, 2009

God knows what lives in me in place of me.
Grimey Drawer

CelticPredator posted:

I can't be down with an animal that doesn't like when you pet them, but jumps into your lap randomly to pet it, and then starts hissing at you because you're petting it. Make sense you loving thing.

Watch me petting my giant cat's fuzzy belly and despair know that you too could enjoy this heavenly experience if you bonded with a nice cat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH8IL2xZ1oU

Riatsala
Nov 20, 2013

All Princesses are Tyrants

I don't want to pivot things away from cats, but I do volunteer dog training at a local shelter, which involves a lot of socializing and behavior modification in order to make the adoption process smoother and more successful. Usually it's immensely gratifying.

We share our dog walking space with an RV park, and campers very frequently let their dogs roam free or allow them to approach my dogs while yelling "No, it's okay! My dog is friendly!"

My dog is not friendly. He is shy, he is nervous, and he's incredibly stressed out because two weeks ago he had a quiet home and a living owner and now he's stuck in a loud, crowded shelter with none of his familiar toys and bunch of strange dogs. Now a dog he does not know (who is not nearly as nice as reputed) runs right up to him and starts some poo poo. 10 seconds later the owner is in hysterics because their furbaby has new bite marks in their hindquarters.

From here the best case scenario is my adorable little trainee will spend 10 days in quarantine forgetting me, forgetting our training and forgetting what it means to be happy, all because some inconsiderate jackass couldn't follow a leash law or show the minimum level of responsibility for their dog. That's my pet peeve: stupid loving pet owners making my dogs' lives more difficult and delaying their ability to find a new, loving home.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Riatsala posted:

I don't want to pivot things away from cats, but I do volunteer dog training at a local shelter, which involves a lot of socializing and behavior modification in order to make the adoption process smoother and more successful. Usually it's immensely gratifying.

We share our dog walking space with an RV park, and campers very frequently let their dogs roam free or allow them to approach my dogs while yelling "No, it's okay! My dog is friendly!"

My dog is not friendly. He is shy, he is nervous, and he's incredibly stressed out because two weeks ago he had a quiet home and a living owner and now he's stuck in a loud, crowded shelter with none of his familiar toys and bunch of strange dogs. Now a dog he does not know (who is not nearly as nice as reputed) runs right up to him and starts some poo poo. 10 seconds later the owner is in hysterics because their furbaby has new bite marks in their hindquarters.

From here the best case scenario is my adorable little trainee will spend 10 days in quarantine forgetting me, forgetting our training and forgetting what it means to be happy, all because some inconsiderate jackass couldn't follow a leash law or show the minimum level of responsibility for their dog. That's my pet peeve: stupid loving pet owners making my dogs' lives more difficult and delaying their ability to find a new, loving home.

Yeah gently caress the "no no no my babby is different he doesn't need a leash" thing. I love my dog and he is soooo different, you wouldn't understand, he is the best boy. But even though he's 13 and a miniature poodle, he goes out on a leash.

Your doggo is not a person and is not predictable. Your doggo is not the smartest bestest ever (except in your home, where they are, yes they are, who is good :3), they are dumb and will run in front of cars and get in fights with other animals. They will bite. They will endanger themselves. They will hurt other pets if they decide they can and should. They will hurt or scare people. There are people who have dog phobias and their comfort is infinitely more important than your pet's.

And what should be most important to you, IT IS VERY OBJECTIVELY UNSAFE to let your dog run free outside of a designated area.

Vietnamwees
May 8, 2008

by Fluffdaddy
Whoa, whoa, wait a drat minute!

Now who tried to pee on their own hands?!

I demand answers, and I demand them NAOW!!!

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh
Holy Christ there is no reason to use a speakerphone in an open-office layout. Especially for every call. I know he thinks he’s important, but god is it distracting.

docbeard
Jul 19, 2011

ghost emoji posted:

Holy Christ there is no reason to use a speakerphone in an open-office layout. Especially for every call. I know he thinks he’s important, but god is it distracting.

The best is when they're talking with someone else in the same office.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

docbeard posted:

The best is when they're talking with someone else in the same office.

As the squeal of feedback pitches up and up.

A FUCKIN CANARY!!
Nov 9, 2005


I've had someone tell me, "Oh, don't worry, he doesn't bite!" WHILE THE DOG WAS LATCHED ONTO MY FOREARM. Then they threatened to call the police on ME when I pepper sprayed it.

What the gently caress, people. A leash costs like a dollar.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:

I've had someone tell me, "Oh, don't worry, he doesn't bite!" WHILE THE DOG WAS LATCHED ONTO MY FOREARM. Then they threatened to call the police on ME when I pepper sprayed it.

What the gently caress, people. A leash costs like a dollar.

Is there any evidence that dogs gently caress up human brains like cats do? I swear people will treat their dog as HUMANx2 but all actual people as HUMAN/2.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Brawnfire posted:

Is there any evidence that dogs gently caress up human brains like cats do? I swear people will treat their dog as HUMANx2 but all actual people as HUMAN/2.

Sadly no, the brainspiders for dog people are much more effective at keeping that all covered up.

Riatsala
Nov 20, 2013

All Princesses are Tyrants

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Yeah gently caress the "no no no my babby is different he doesn't need a leash" thing. I love my dog and he is soooo different, you wouldn't understand, he is the best boy. But even though he's 13 and a miniature poodle, he goes out on a leash.

Your doggo is not a person and is not predictable. Your doggo is not the smartest bestest ever (except in your home, where they are, yes they are, who is good :3), they are dumb and will run in front of cars and get in fights with other animals. They will bite. They will endanger themselves. They will hurt other pets if they decide they can and should. They will hurt or scare people. There are people who have dog phobias and their comfort is infinitely more important than your pet's.

And what should be most important to you, IT IS VERY OBJECTIVELY UNSAFE to let your dog run free outside of a designated area.

Preach!

I'm only thankful that the sherrif's department recognizes the unmitigated stupidity of visiting dog owners and refuses to order euthanasia on shelter dogs for biting incidents without the express consent of the shelter director. Saved a lot of good pups with that policy.

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Brawnfire posted:

Is there any evidence that dogs gently caress up human brains like cats do? I swear people will treat their dog as HUMANx2 but all actual people as HUMAN/2.

My dog was there when no one else was. :smith:

Solid Cake
Jan 17, 2008

TRAPPED IN QUANTUM CHOCOLATE SINGULARITY!
SEND HELP!
Pillbug
It bugs the hell out of me when people respond to my email to them (at work) by calling me on the phone. If I thought that a phone call would be a better way to have this conversation, I would have called you in the first place! :argh:

It's especially bad because I usually have an image or several to show them, so I send them a message with the images. Then if they call to talk about which one they want, I have to go through my sent messages folder to find whatever it was that I sent. I talk to many people every day and I have a poo poo memory, so I simply can't keep track of who is who and what we were working on. I might as well be the Momento guy as far as work stuff goes. It would take them thirty seconds to tap out a quick message to me saying which image they want to go with, and then the message would go straight to the top of my inbox where it's easy to find and reference. Then I wouldn't have to do this awkward song and dance where I try to hunt down the message I originally sent to figure out who the gently caress they are while we're on the phone together.

At this point I actively avoid returning these peoples' calls. If you want to talk to me, you'll send me an email!

I heart bacon
Nov 18, 2007

:burger: It's burgin' time! :burger:


Brawnfire posted:

Is there any evidence that dogs gently caress up human brains like cats do? I swear people will treat their dog as HUMANx2 but all actual people as HUMAN/2.

You should watch cat people buy wet cat food. It's a painful dance to observe. It's even worse when you're trying to stock the shelves while they do this.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Riatsala posted:

Preach!

I'm only thankful that the sherrif's department recognizes the unmitigated stupidity of visiting dog owners and refuses to order euthanasia on shelter dogs for biting incidents without the express consent of the shelter director. Saved a lot of good pups with that policy.

I have an aunt who has adopted 3 problem weimaraners during my life time. Good on her for adopting the unwanted ones instead of hitting up a breeder, but it peeves/pisses me off how she keeps letting them run wild and hurt themselves. Weimaraners, if you don't know, are notoriously attached to their owners and also energetic, natural hunters that will stalk and chase whatever poo poo they see.

Dog 1 got hit by a car when I was young enough to not know anything, but I have certain suspicions

Dog 2, seeing my aunt taking a phone call in a semi-field with a chain link fence, saw just "aunt turns and paces towards car" and ended up tearing her chest muscles, breaking some ribs, and puncturing her stomach trying to scrabble over a fence to follow my aunt. This permanently hosed up her gait and a bit later she was playing in an open field, tripped in a pothole, shattered her leg, and broke her neck. That killed her.

Dog 3 has already been to hospital twice for things that wouldn't have happened if he was supervised, and has bit another dog. He charges out the front door and roams the neigbourhood almost every day and it's just "aww silly boy." I can't go over there without getting super protective of him and pissed at my aunt.

Chip McFuck
Jul 24, 2007

We droppin' like a comet and this Vulcan tried to Spock it/These Martians tried to do it, but knew they couldn't cop it

I might have posted this before, but gently caress it this is really pushing me off. My mom recently begged, begged, me to change my birthday dinner plans to a chain restaurant (like the 99 or TGI Fridays) instead of my favorite local place because my brother wants to come. He's such a picky eater that she could tell he won't like anything they serve, and he won't go to my birthday party at all if he can't eat anything on the menu. I told her he can either suck it up and be a decent person or he's not welcome.

So I guess my peeve is extremely picky eaters and the people who enable them to the detriment of everyone else. If it was a food allergy, or he had autism or something, I could at least understand, but he's a 28 year old normal dude who never progressed past chicken nuggets and fries.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Chip McFuck posted:

I might have posted this before, but gently caress it this is really pushing me off. My mom recently begged, begged, me to change my birthday dinner plans to a chain restaurant (like the 99 or TGI Fridays) instead of my favorite local place because my brother wants to come. He's such a picky eater that she could tell he won't like anything they serve, and he won't go to my birthday party at all if he can't eat anything on the menu. I told her he can either suck it up and be a decent person or he's not welcome.

So I guess my peeve is extremely picky eaters and the people who enable them to the detriment of everyone else. If it was a food allergy, or he had autism or something, I could at least understand, but he's a 28 year old normal dude who never progressed past chicken nuggets and fries.

I absolutely HATE your brother

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh

Solid Cake posted:

It bugs the hell out of me when people respond to my email to them (at work) by calling me on the phone. If I thought that a phone call would be a better way to have this conversation, I would have called you in the first place! :argh:

It's especially bad because I usually have an image or several to show them, so I send them a message with the images. Then if they call to talk about which one they want, I have to go through my sent messages folder to find whatever it was that I sent. I talk to many people every day and I have a poo poo memory, so I simply can't keep track of who is who and what we were working on. I might as well be the Momento guy as far as work stuff goes. It would take them thirty seconds to tap out a quick message to me saying which image they want to go with, and then the message would go straight to the top of my inbox where it's easy to find and reference. Then I wouldn't have to do this awkward song and dance where I try to hunt down the message I originally sent to figure out who the gently caress they are while we're on the phone together.

At this point I actively avoid returning these peoples' calls. If you want to talk to me, you'll send me an email!

I hate this. Sometimes I’m emailing you because I want a written record, either as a CYA maneuver or so I can refer to it later instead of bothering you!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
I do that but only if they said something concerning and it's urgent to correct them. Like saying "I'm about to head out, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to submit this 1000 processor job that is extremely incorrect and will waste a night of computing time and clog up the queue for no reason". The phone is a lot faster than email.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply