 In the Land West of the Rivers, far beyond the fertile crescent of Akkad, you reach back into your mind for your earliest memories and find only fog. In a dazed stupor, you see flashes of light and hints of figures, even the light of the full moon is blinding. You hear voices, they speak of you, but speak as if you are not present... ....wait.  ...that was LAST time! You have been doing some exciting things with psychedelic mushrooms which grow in this wild place. Some days they make you question your sanity, make you question that you HAVE any! HahahahahaHAHAHAHA! But you don't have to worry, you have none of that anyway.  Pictured above: Your every day walking-around face, atop a usually twelve to fourteen foot human-ish shaped body, except when you decide to grow extra limbs, genitals or otherwise change form according to your most Insane desires. At this moment you are You sit now in your tent, the Holy of Holies, your worshipers and servants have made camp. It is a rather nice tent but there is no getting around the fact it is a /tent/ and what sort of god lives in a tent? You yearn to once again brush the heavens themselves and stand atop a mighty Ziggurat!  You should be idolized, beloved and WORSHIPED, WORSHIPPED YOU-DAMNIT like the god drat God you are! You are in a tent in the desert, a very, very nice tent, but still, its a god damned TENT! A TENT! You DESERVE more! Where the hell are you anyway?  You and your worshipers stopped for a bit near what is either a large oasis or a small lake in the midst of the endless sand and dust. Once thousands, tens of thousands lived and died at your command. Actually a LOT more than tens of thousands died by the time your adventures in Akkad were over, what with you kicking off the Apocalypse and/or the liberation of mankind from immortal pretenders, depending on ones perspective? About four hundred measly mortals are with you now, about two hundred Cimbrites who are remarkably stupid though can at least feed and take care of themselves now. They are good for manual labor but little else. You also have about a hundred of your own people, YOUR people, the natives of the City of Gommorah, the City of Excess, where like grapes the most PRECIOUS and RARE crop grew in all of Ur. Truly free men. For your people loved and worshiped you for in your madness, you gave them that which no other god in the lands of Akkad would give. Freedom. After a fashion. In every other city in Akkad, men were awoken in the morning by the voice of their god in their ear, piss when their god tells them to, dresses as instructed, eat as instructed, go to their labor as instructed and do as instructed, until they are told to go home, eat, piss, sleep and repeat anew. Not with a great booming voice and not with task masters with the lash (though they exited too when useful) but as a literal voice in their ear, commanding their obedience. And in all cities but YOUR city, GREAT Gommorah, the City of Excess, men were so enslaved. And your people worshiped you as the god you are and loved you all the more for the freedom you gave them. And now... the people of Gommorah are nearly all dead, most which live remained behind and only a pitiful handful remained faithful to you. In your Holy Tent are your most trusted and useful servants are present, including.... NOTABLE WORSHIPERS! Kadai: Your most trust worthy and devoted servant. He is your the High Priest and the son of Sebek, the last High Priest. And he is an honest to goodness Sorcerer to boot! Unfortunately, your (former?) civilization has pretty much no idea how magic works, still, his skills are priceless. He is middle aged and not as... chronically serious as Sebek but every bit as loyal. You can read his mind of course, he is utterly loyal to you, though in his case he... questions your Divinity but made a firm decision to serve you regardless. Considering he helped Arwi: A slave held on bondage at the mines of the Iron Hills. A scribe, you freed him when you went to war with Cimbra and he became your Official scribe and personal chronicler. He decided to come with you when Bluegar:  A giant, muscular man who tattooed his entire body with blue grapes. He is one of your surviving Gommorah Rangers and fought many battles for you with his Drunken Strength and Endurance, as mighty as TEN drunks! And also able to regenerate most fatal wounds because you are the god of drunkenness AND madness thank you very much and no one, NO ONE tells you that you CAN'T hand out wolverine-esque degenerative abilities when you decided to hand out super powers, god dammit! He is as sane as he is nude, which is to say not at all and always! He followed you out of Akkad. Mr. Whiskers:  A sentient, talking, purple house cat who has the ability to tell mad and WRONG prophecies... except when they sometimes are not? Bluegar'a pet. Jebarti:  One of your priests. Your Purple Gommorah Ranger. His blood turned to wine, apparently non-fatally when you told the JOKE. He can piss flaming wine as if it was a flame thrower. Your least insane Gommorah Ranger, he is actually pretty well balanced? Go figure, huh? Bessy:  Your Green Gommorah ranger, able to project terrifying and maddening illusions with her Ring of Madness(TM)! Carit: An old man and the oldest living man among your followers. Not so serious as Sebek was, he is still a seriously minded man. He decided to follow you Present in the Holy Tent and close at hand are also your vast riches! Having them gives you a deeply, deeply satisfying feeling, so deep down inside you couldn't get to it unless someone otherwise massaged your prostate! Receiving valuable, rare, unique and strange things from your worshipers is just... its just the best and considering you are the god of Hedonism (as well as Madness, revelry, celebration, wine, grapes, intoxication, intoxicants, madness, and fornication itself) that is saying rather a lot! Oh. And tortoises. Those too. You are not totally sure how you picked that up? Somewhere along the way? Your immense power gives you the ability to make reality your play thing and to do anything in regards to any of the above, though it can only be exercised in the sight of at least one of your worshipers. Your most visually impressive feats in such a regard may include turning a small mountain into laughing grapes which all swore unique profanities in an instant as an act of will, lifting a city into the air on legs made of grape vines, giant sperm and the backs of maddening cthulhu-esque monsters loving each other and marching it across the countryside and turning into a giant tortoise hundreds of feet tall and duking it out with another god. Your power, when you chose to wield it, is the power of a god, vast, mighty and awesome. Your wealth is in your Holy Tent piled to the left and right of your throne. NOTABLE ASSETS!  The Pimp Cane of Life! An immensely powerful artifact useable by man and god alike, capable of turning sand into fertile land, sickly plants into thriving gardens, and heal almost any injury, even raising most deceased beings to life. Its powers are specific, yet vast. There are some... technical issues which Sebek told you about and Kadai too, but it was boring so you didn't really pay attention. When you told him to give you the cliff-notes he paused after a moments contemplation he said "...if you use its power as an animating force to prop up your worshipers, their worship will cease to be useful to you. Eventually. After a long time." You made the Pimp Cane of Life out of the um... life force? Soul? Mana? Cuticles? of your rival Susan A crude stone knife All that was left of A VAST HORDE  This VAST You left most of your treasure behind, you did not like it anymore Fragments of your Shattered Divinity! Two fragments of your shattered divinity are with you in the form of two twenty-five year old men who are in good shape, named 100 Hogs Agree and Soultaco. You can communicate with them telepathically over any distance, which is a neat and handy trick since you cannot otherwise exercise your VAST, MASSIVE, COLOSSAL, HONEST-TO-GOODNESS-GODLY-POWERS otherwise unless in the direct vision of one of your worshipers or in your Holy Tent. You can also use the two of them like a god-damned taxi and teleport into their bodies instantly over any distance, taking your full power with you and turning their body into your own. Kadai said this will instantly snuff out 100 Hogs Agree's soul but there is about a fifty-fifty chance you might be able to just swap places with Soul Taco. The explanation as to why was long and boring, you didn't pay much attention but you could ask again if you like. Several iron spears and swords and two suits of iron armor! Iron? What? Oh yeah. Iron can kill any god in Akkad /dead/. Pierce them with it and poof. Sebek probably explained why or something but do you even care anymore? Kadai will explain the boring details on why again if you ask him. This is not your Throne Rome in Gommorah but... your Holy Tent it is better than nothing. Kadai told you that until you build a new temple, this tent is your Center of Power. Men and women are fornicating in the corners, music is played, intoxicating smoke is heavy and wine is every hand and on every lip. Your worshipers are currently scavenging the oasis for every scrap of edible food and useful materials you can get, before you move on. As you come to your senses (or some senses, you have a lot of them), your scribe and chronicler Arwi is beside you and ask him "Wait kiddo. Who am I again?" The scribe bows his head and presses "You are Denziroh, Great and Most Holy of Gods, our God, leader of the Great City of Gommorah." You nod approvingly "Good! Good! Yes, I recall now. You are relieved. Go finish my book!" Arwi bows his head deeper and scurries away. Kadai approaches in his vestments. Your High Priest bows his head before you and asks "Have you reached a decision yet, Mightiest of the Mighty, our Most Holy God?" You hold out a hand and a cup made of fibers from grape vines appear. Several animals and a farmer are depicted on the side of the cup engaging in acts so heinous it would probably get one imprisoned in some place like Kush. With the smallest, slimmest act of your will, wine appears from the firmament and pours into your cup. It is full by the time you bring it to your lips and drink. You look to Kadai and ask him "Decision? What decision?" Kadai says to you "You were deciding if we are to stay here Holy One, move on, or follow your will to another wise end." What do you want to do? Please read all of the options, even if you make up your mind. Each of them have background and refresher information. I am serious, please read them all, thank you. A. If the seasons are anything like they are in Akkad (which seems like it may be the case?) you are in the middle of summer. Carit wants your people to stay here until the weather cools down and then move on. There are probably enough resources to do so. B. Continue west! This desert is endless and uncharted, what is on the other side is totally unknown to the people of Akkad. C. Making decisions? Making decision is for LOSERS! You will make up your mind when you decide you want to which may be never! Make no decision. Keep partying in your tent for now. The mortals can handle mortal details, that is what your priests are for after all, aren't they? D. I am dying. Really slowly, but I am. There are a lot of really boring details related to my current state and I guess I could ask Kadai to explain it again? The jist of it is that I am very slowly losing some of my power ALL of the time. I get it back from being worshiped. Except I have lost... almost all of my followers. Kadai thinks he might be able to "seal me" and prevent this loss if he uses the Pimp Cane of Life as raw material. As a side effect, if he does, I won't need my worshipers to sustain my physical presence! Why is complicated and boring. But if I am not in the presence of my worshipers, or in my tent... poof, I am gone like dust in the wind. Kadai is willing to try, bu thinks this is a bad idea, he wants to spend a few decades studying first. E. We are TURNING this boat around! Screw that Pretender! I am going back to Akkad! I am reclaiming Gommorah! F. I make a NEW Beaky! My beloved giant tortoise pet and soul mate. I can make one which will be JUST like the Real Beaky... but in my heart I know... I just know it won't be the /same/. I will feel better if I make a new Beaky, I hope. G. Set off into the desert with some of my worshipers and find a new animal companion to be my best friend forever! H. I. That pompous rear end in a top hat warned me not to go north because there is something there that will kill me. Well, gently caress him! I go where I want, there is probably something really GOOD to the north! Lets go! K. That pompous jackass ALSO warned me not to cross the sea to the south, to Kush because I would not find any welcome there. There is a giant sea south of me which no one from Akkad has ever crossed. If those weird foreigners were not lying to me and they probably were not, there is a HUGE civilization across the sea! I am going to make my mark there and maybe get some new worshipers! The Kushites I met warned that the gods of Kush take a... very strong line on worshiping people and the Kushites seemed to think *I* was a sorcerer! I am sure I can handle that when I get there though. L. Did I mention I am a God? I am a God. I have ridiculous power. Even if my intake is pretty limited now... Kadai warned me that I need more worshippers because while I am not in immediate danger of dying any time soon, I might use up all of my power in a few decades at the rate I like to use my juice up. Still I am pretty awesome. Back to Akkad! I am going to make some more of my worshipers into super heroes and send them to get some of my treasure back from the temple in Gommorah while I hide in the desert and hope I am not detected by THAT PRICK. M. Narod and his sons went to go kill Nem Teshet, who was pretty much the scariest bastard in all of Akkad. I want to find out how that fight went. If Narod lost, there is a very good chance Nem Teshet is not even there anymore, he probably left home to go mix it up with the One Go-... THAT POMPOUS rear end in a top hat WHOSE NAME I WILL NOT MENTION! And Nem Teshet's domain was on the western edge of Akkad... which also means it is the closest! Though there is a risk that if Nem Teshet IS there and he realizes I am in the neighborhood... yeah. He will flat out eat me, no questions asked, he is not the N. Something else. Fill in. As the God of Madness, your memory is spotty at best. You can freely question your High Priest, Kadai at any time. He is a good source of information on most matters which are known to you or your followers. WELCOME TO THE GAME! Welcome to Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens, a Chose Your Own Adventure style game. The format of the game is simple. I will lay out the scenario and offer options to proceed with. You can always propose an alternate path to pick. The most popular choice will be picked. Type as much as you like, but please indicate your vote by bolding your choice like this. One way this game is different from other Chose Your Own Adventure game is that your adventure is to a degree, a freeform adventure. You chose your path through the world. The world can and will change around you based upon your actions and you will not have a predetermined story to run through. Your path and ultimate fate are not planned. Today, the day we started the game, I honestly have no idea where we may be a month from now, let alone how it might one day end. It is all up to you. You do not have plot armor. Bad decisions can get you killed or wreak horrible consequences which you did not intend. If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up. If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/ Diogines fucked around with this message at 06:06 on Apr 2, 2015 |
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Apr 2, 2015 02:49
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B!
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Apr 2, 2015 02:53
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this
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Apr 2, 2015 03:01
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A We're on a relaxing summer vacation at an oasis, what could be better? Everseen fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Apr 2, 2015 |
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Apr 2, 2015 03:14
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B: Go West, Mad God!
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Apr 2, 2015 03:18
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B
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Apr 2, 2015 03:29
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D + HOLD THAT GATE NEVER GIVE UP ON DENZIROH!
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Apr 2, 2015 03:34
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B. Joy to the world! Can someone please sing us a lullaby? It has to be desert themed.
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Apr 2, 2015 03:35
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What do you want to do? B. Continue west! This desert is endless and uncharted, what is on the other side is totally unknown to the people of Akkad.
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Apr 2, 2015 03:49
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Best April Fools day ever.
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Apr 2, 2015 04:57
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B. I left Akkad because it sucks. Why would I go back there? Akkad is too constraining, the people there blow, they had their chance and they hosed it all up. As God, it's my "responsibility", if I could have such, to bring good times and sweet grooves to those that haven't yet had the chance to be enlightened to my glory. Onwards we go until we find some cool rubes to party with!
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Apr 2, 2015 05:02
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B
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Apr 2, 2015 05:27
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L: MINE.
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Apr 2, 2015 05:28
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L. ABC. A- Always. B-Be. C- Creating Superheroes
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Apr 2, 2015 05:33
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B!
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Apr 2, 2015 05:37
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B Last game, goons probably should have listened to Sebek. Kadai is basically like Sebek, right? He's the younger, cooler, more illicit-sorcerery Sebek.
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Apr 2, 2015 05:44
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B The people of Akkad had their shot. If freedom, booze, orgies, and *murdering every last demon in the joint* weren't enough to convince them that I'm the only god worth following, these scrubs are hopeless.
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Apr 2, 2015 05:47
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B Who would want to be anywhere near that bunch of losers? Diogines posted:Chait wants your people to stay here until the weather cools down and then move on.
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Apr 2, 2015 05:58
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B Everyone around here is an rear end in a top hat. Let's go meet some new
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Apr 2, 2015 06:00
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post posted:B Who would want to be anywhere near that bunch of losers? Fixed a typo ><.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:06
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What is happening
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Apr 2, 2015 06:19
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Voting B. Go West, young madgod. Am I even allowed to be a part of this psyche? I believe in the Onegod.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:25
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SKY COQ posted:I believe in the Onegod. Get out.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:32
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E! Cast down the pretender! Reclaim what is ours, and everything else besides!
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Apr 2, 2015 06:37
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G, get a little scorpion pal or something.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:39
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N- Grow ourself into the tent so we are both moving and always in the Holy Tent, our seat of power. As long as we still see sand of course. Alternatively use the Pimp Cane to turn everything to grass for as far as we can see. We have lots of worshipers of course. They just don't know it yet.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:44
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Couldn't we, in theory, give the Pimp Cane of Life to Kadai or something and have him use it to do stuff that doesn't mess with worship flow? In fact, ask Kadai this.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:46
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SKY COQ posted:I believe in the Onegod. I also believe in the Onegod! 
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Apr 2, 2015 06:51
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B Maybe we'll find a new pal while travelling. Maybe Beaky is out here somewhere looking for us.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:58
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SerSpook posted:Couldn't we, in theory, give the Pimp Cane of Life to Kadai or something and have him use it to do stuff that doesn't mess with worship flow? Pretty sure it's the influence of divine power that causes the problem, not that we ourself are using it, but I'm not 100% on that. It's always been a bit weird anyway, I mean, it's our divine influence that kept demons away and allowed men to prosper, but that didn't stop their worship from working. The line is murky, but generally anything divine that invalidates the work our worshippers have to put in to living invalidates the worship we get from them. What we need to get working on is transforming something other than humans into something capable of worship, the way tree-dude and river-dude had their intelligent trees and fish. Although they were something 'other' than we were to begin with, so their rules were probably not the same.
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Apr 2, 2015 07:04
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Slaan posted:I also believe in the Onegod! It's weird to agree with you but ok let's roll.
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Apr 2, 2015 07:07
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Team Boring represent!
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Apr 2, 2015 07:14
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B this is weird. I really want to know what happened with Nem Teshet but maybe we can send somebody to check after we get settled? also: holy poo poo diog you are insane if you actually want to run both games for real
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Apr 2, 2015 07:50
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A deathmarch through the desert towards Ur? Sure B]
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Apr 2, 2015 08:00
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B
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Apr 2, 2015 08:14
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Let's go Get a friend We gotta get sealed but let's not play fast and loose with Our Most Holy Life. It can wait until Kadai's more confident.
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Apr 2, 2015 08:18
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Affi posted:A deathmarch through the desert towards Ur? gonna meet up with the kadmonim hell yeah
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Apr 2, 2015 08:35
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Diogines posted:Several iron spears and swords and two suits of iron armor! Gods of Akkad are a bunch of fairies.
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Apr 2, 2015 08:38
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The Pet Shop Boys said it best.
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Apr 2, 2015 08:39
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B. We'll make a new city! With blackjack! And poker! *grumblegrumble* Should have eaten that stupid god baby, alternate timelines be damned.
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Apr 2, 2015 08:47
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