UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

«‹›3 »

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

It's my birthday. I've eaten way too much tiramisu.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2020 20:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:10

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Thanks guys, frantically searching through all my handbags for some antacids. Definitely over 35 now.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2020 21:12

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Too rainy to go to the park, toddler has gone feral.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2020 12:44

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

I just made my best Welsh Rarebit ever. It is a good night.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2020 20:48

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Put 2 slices of bread in the toaster, preheat the grill. In a little saucepan, mix a teaspoon of mustard powder with some stout until smooth. Turn the heat on low, add about another 2 tablespoons of stout. Put about 2 tablespoons of butter in the pan. When it's hot grate loads of cheddar into it, wait for it to melt and then attack it with some Worcestershire sauce. When the cheese is melted turn off the heat and let it cool down for a minute or two while you seperate the yolk from 2 eggs. Beat the egg yolks in and spread the goo on the toast. Pop under the grill until bubbly and delicious, eat while drink the rest of the stout.

Sounds like a faff but takes about 10 minutes.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2020 01:31

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

You're thinking of Bob Monkhouse.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2020 01:18

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Bobby Deluxe posted:

oh poo poo i was as well

i cannot picture des o connor, all i remember is him being used as a punchline on morcambe and wise

Not that being dead stopped Bob Monkhouse form working.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quxOMX1jl1w

# ¿ Nov 16, 2020 11:47

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Pleasantly full of kebab meat and chips, trying not to fall asleep on the sofa. Life is good.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2020 22:40

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Find her secret savings account and buy a PS5 with it.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 14:54

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

But you aren't allowed your own money?

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 15:30

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

My Tesco delivery slot is actually for next week, not this week. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2020 22:38

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

I had a weird dream last night that my work suddenly asked to see my National Record of Achievement. Did everyone else have to do one of those?

# ¿ Nov 24, 2020 15:19

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

goatface posted:

I had a brief nap earlier and had an enjoyable little dream about putting chilli powder on my porridge instead of cinnamon.

That could work if you put some cocoa powder in too, sort of an aztec vibe.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2020 20:51

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

chippy posted:

Yeah and I still have the loving thing 22 years later for some reason

You could use it to pretend you're looking at the wine list in a downmarket restaurant?

# ¿ Nov 24, 2020 20:52

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Bobby Deluxe posted:

i do not want the worker reprimanded, i want them to feed back that they need to hire enough drivers so that they do not have to do poo poo like this to make time

its not the drivers fault

Someone I work with had an Amazon driver poo poo in her garden, so it could have been worse.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2020 14:13

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Look at this beauty. Look at it.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2020 23:19

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Nursery isn't closing! Whoop!

# ¿ Jan 11, 2021 19:52

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Obligatory "it's snowing!" post.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2021 14:01

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Had my first Covid jab. My arm has gone MASSIVE.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2021 23:53

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

It's an actual picture of my massive arm.

It's a picture of Lizzie Borden.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2021 00:00

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

NotJustANumber99 posted:

have you told anyone else? Like medical professionals?

It's fine, it always happens when I get injections. It's just bigger than usual this time.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2021 00:28

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

NotJustANumber99 posted:

microsoft onedrive has stolen all my documents

also annoying is the latest update on my phone has changed it so that to 'go back' you now swipe in from the side of the screen. But lots of other activities are almost identical to this, like trying to swipe horizontally through the quick look shopping items at the top of a google search, or cropping a photo you want to send in whatsapp, so I'm constantly halfway through doing something only to be dumped back to the phone desktop (?) by accident because it thinks I wanted to swipe out of it all. Eeurgh life is so hard.

After my vaccine I think that Microsoft is cool and good.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2021 13:33

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Had my second vaccine, felt much less dreadful than I did with the first. Debating taking toddler to the city farm which has opened today, but will almost certainly be rammed.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2021 10:20

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Happy birthday everyone it applies to!

# ¿ Apr 12, 2021 13:43

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Also this is my city's Primark queue. Please note that this is nowhere near Primark.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2021 13:53

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

First sunburn of the year.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2021 18:05

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Grotty toddler's birthday today. Had a really nice day, made some pulled pork and played in the garden. I've been really irritable for the last few days, it's been really good to have a good day.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2021 21:42

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Tomatoes only sound like a good idea. You are their slave until you suddenly have far too many tomatoes. Then you do it again next year for some reason. Enjoy though.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2021 22:05

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Witnessed a murder last year and now I have to go to court. Urrrrrrrrrgh.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2021 12:16

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

My axe slipped.

Repeatedly.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2021 12:25

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Ratjaculation posted:

Hello sleeping off brain pain wasn't working, so went for a run, threw up in a hedge and feel worse now

ama

on the tez? (i assume that's the slang name)

pls share as much info as you can

and also agree to do any netflix documentaries they invite you on

I promise to wear a Dickbutt t-shirt on any Netflix show they invite a on.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2021 14:12

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Grab a broom handle and steal a trolley from your local supermarket. Punt yourself around the local area in the trolley. You know, for a change.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2021 18:05

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

A window company has just refused to come and give me a quote for some windows unless my husband is there too. Clearly I will become confused by the concept of glass and start perioding everywhere if I don't have male supervision.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2021 11:46

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Tuesday is our takeaway night and I have takeaway indecision.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2021 17:25

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Ratjaculation posted:

What's everyone doing today?

Husband went round to a friend's last night and came back at 6am absolutely mortalled. Attempted to keep grotty toddler quiet while he recovered.

# ¿ May 2, 2021 20:33

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Double posting, but does anyone fancy doing Mam Tor with me in the summer? I'll only mostly complain the entire way up.

# ¿ May 2, 2021 20:38

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

NotJustANumber99 posted:

What's an ace person? Am I one?

You're ace to me, 99.

# ¿ May 2, 2021 22:33

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Lady Demelza posted:

Yes. I will mostly be too out of breath to complain aloud.

Pop me a message when you're free in the summer, we can grab a cream tea afterwards.

# ¿ May 3, 2021 09:02

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Happy birthday Ratty! Hope the weather isn't getting in the way of a good time.

# ¿ May 4, 2021 15:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:10

LizzieBorden: Dec 6, 2009; She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She's hackin' and wackin' and smackin'
She just hacks, wacks, chopping that meat

Wanted to take grotty toddler to the city farm, but it's far too wet. Made an onion pie instead. Marmite pasta for tea. Wish it would stop raining.

# ¿ May 8, 2021 18:21

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

«‹›3 »