Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

We going right, you all reit wi it? Reet then.

We are going right, are you ok with that? It's all sorted out then. The many uses of the word right brought to you by north Derbyshire.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I counter what Franco said with everything my North Yorkshire farmer grandfather said for the last 20 years of his life.

granddad posted:

aye

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Turns out if your Amazon logistics driver is one of those dicks who leaves it a day or so so he has a full van/car, and it's still showing up on the system as in his possession or he marks it down as delivered, and you have prime, You can complain and get a free month added on for free each time it happens . As an added bonus after the third complaint you get a brand new driver.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I still open birthday cards hoping for money, but alas instead of a cool card with a dinosaur on it with a crisp £5 taped on the inside its a tasteful and arty card with a thoughtful message instead.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

My "dull men of Great Britain" book just showed up and it's :allears:

They just look so happy, especially the chap who steals different kinds of traffic cones and has made himself a stolen traffic cone throne.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Monopoly on the iPad is surprisingly awesome and risk is ok on it as well. No cheating in monopoly but you can set your own rules and there is a option to finish now which will auto calculate who got owned with no bitching or blatant shenanigans from the clear loser.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Jose posted:

i have no idea but the tires have been replaced and they've done that and one of them still needs pumping up at least once a week ftl

Did they actually change the inner tube or just re use them? Happened to friend of mine once, changed to a different place and they were told that their inner tubes were at least 10 years old and the old place were taking the piss. Could also be someone thinking it's a jolly jape to let your tyres down when they walk past.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

corn in the fridge posted:

car tyres haven't used inner tubes for like literally forever

Ah, can't be that then I don't drive so wouldn't know - this story may have involved a wooden moris minor and the early 1980s.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I see crispix has met my parents then.

My mum is a bit odd, up until this year when the last one finally died, she exclusively drive ford cosworth RS cars, she was truly a 17 year old boy from Essex trapped in the body of a 60 year old accountant from Yorkshire. I remember the day when she came running into the house all in a fluster, dragged us outside and pointed to her new gleaming white sapphire cosworth with a poo poo eating grin on her face and went "Look children! It's got a spoiler!!!!!"

She also owned the only cosworth modified Ford Focus In the world with a dog gate in it.

learnincurve fucked around with this message at 08:01 on Oct 7, 2015

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

You can tell I live in a grim northern town because the only places in town that serves food are macdonalds, subway, the local 'spoons and a greggs with a seating area. We do however have either a hairdressers or a coffee shop every 50 ft.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Is it only your sausages that got pinched? If it was then that's a really odd break in and I would bypass talking to security and talk to the police.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Somewhere there is a security guard chuckling to himself at his decision to steal something to cut the delicious salami with.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Vitamins posted:

i didn't know he was from sheffield, yet another person to add to the list

I vaguely knew him as a teenager although he was older than me. Iirc he played cricket with my brother and dad but I doubt he would have any idea who I was. It was a long time ago but one of his relations (I forget if it was his sister or cousin) was in my form group. At that point he was already in drama school and had some minor success on the stage and was a minor celebrity to our school, and this posh girl who only loved horses and dispised anyone who didn't own one would get cast in major roles in our school plays in the hope that Dom would turn up. She couldn't act for poo poo and it made her even more of a bitch.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

lenoon posted:

Found a readers wives magazine neatly folded and stored under a brick in the middle of a park in chesterfield once. Was an eye opener for an 11 year old me, I tell you

Was it covered in goose poo poo?

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Not so fun fact is that anyone over the age of 36 didn't have to learn the Highway Code to begin with.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I want a Sherbet fountain now :(

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

crispix posted:

why are there still wasps going about? one just did this :yikes: through my window. it's october you complete bastards

They are coming inside to die because of last night's temperature drop. Close your windows and if a really big one gets in then it's her room until she's dead because she will actively try to take you out with her. Also, and this is not a joke, check under your duvets for dying wasps, it is warm, enclosed, and dark under your covers and to a confused pissed off wasp it's exactly like the nest to them.

I did the research after I got into bed with a wasp, twice, it did not end well for all concerned.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

He has failed to appease the sausage gods.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

learnincurve posted:

He has failed to appease the sausage gods.

Having read that thread it turns out that I was entirely correct. /satisfied nod

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Tescos have had to start security tagging the baskets in Manchester and Oldham after a third of them got robbed in one week. 5p charge is working well for them then.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I am told that chatsworth house knew this would happen because when their shops switched to nice wicker carrying baskets every single one of them got robbed by middle class women within 3 days

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Unless it contains a lot of starch, like potatoes, pasta and rice boiling is bad, simmering is good. Simmering is just the occasional bubble breaking the surface. If it contains starch you must make it boil because starch breaks down and comes out of the food at exactly 100c and you need that for the food not to be poo poo.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Unless it contains enzymes/acids that will break down the meat/fat and make it more tender, for example when you leave a ham in Coca Cola overnight before cooking. Modern Cooking is geared towards speed so marinating does help if you want to soak it in the fridge during the day and cook it quickly in the evening, but it won't beat using a very low heat and slow cooking. If you don't have 4 hours to cook your dinner then using a slow cooker will make things taste much better and it's not only for stew, you can also do things like chicken in there, but you should be aware that everything that goes in the pot stays in so you have to watch how much fat is in there.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

The second Ray was the Cylon leoben in battle star galactica and the record producer in californication

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

It's me, I have the best wrestling story ever.

I went through a phase of taking my elderly, very very painfully middle class, mother to things she would never dream of doing. Movies, concerts, fairgrounds and the like, without telling her where we were going. This one time we rocked up to a RAW house show at the Sheffield arena with her wearing her best Laura Ashley tweed jacket and everything. We had front row seats right in front of the face corner and I swear to god everyone around us was watching my mother's reactions and not what was going on in the ring.

Her absolute crowing moment was this: John Cena barrels out rapadooing and doing his thing, he jumps up to the top turnbuckle, lights go out and the spotlight turns on him and the front rows where the kiddies are gathering to catch his shirt. Shirt gets torn off and thrown down and he poses. My mother then decides to stand up, point at him and yell, in complete shock and very loudly, "Oooh he's a very large man isn't he?" John Cena looks at her in surprise, starts pissing himself with laughter and nearly falls off the turnbuckle.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I honestly think I can continue on with life having never clicked that link.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

It's actually a policy that's been slowly creeping in since 1997. You have to apply to government departments for things to stop or start well in advance, for example you don't get pensions automatically anymore, you have to apply and it goes from your application date not from when you were entitled so they get to keep your money. Auto rejections is also a thing, say you apply for disability, a certain percentage will be rejected to a quota because lots of people just accept the first decision and it saves them hundreds of millions, if those same people were to reapply then most of them will win just because someone will actually read the application form this time.

So if your student loan is coming to an end you want to contact them the day before your money is taken out every month for three months to get yourself on record in the system and you will have a much higher chance of it stopping when it's supposed to. Demand a letter from them giving the exact date that your payments will end During that first call and take it into your bank and show it to your bank manager/call telephone banking as they should be able to block any additional payments.

Edit: it's not only £20/£100/£300 over, it's your money, that you could use to buy one hell of a lot of sausages with, trust me if you owed them even £1 they would be perfectly happy to take it all the way to court.

learnincurve fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Oct 17, 2015

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

If it's coming out of your pay check then I know it's a pain in the arse but I can't stress enough how much more effective going into government/council buildings and talking to a human is, preferably before something that is going to happen does so. So much within the civil service is done automatically by a computer and then when it goes wrong it's people with minimum training and a computer system that won't let them do much on the help lines, few years ago all this stuff changed from being dealt with by the actual departments to being outsourced to call centres, so it's a completely different set of people working at the bricks and mortar buildings. Take pay slips in and show them that it's a bonus, people who work in these places are not absolute bastards, I've found this type of officious twat tends to gravitate towards the counter jobs at job centres and the housing benefit desk at councils.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

crispix posted:

probably a good chance of getting tasered these days tbh if for example someone were to try to go over the head of the job centre to speak to someone about a benefit sanction :/

One of my friends (angry black woman) once told one of these people that if they didn't re-start the (mistakenly stopped) child care element to her benefits so that she could keep working that they would be looking after her 5 children for her during the day. She then left said pack of children at the desk and walked out. She made it to the lobby before somone came to take her back and then they were magically able to sort it all out with back pay.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Glasgow kiss is forehead to nose, and it's a thing in pretty much every rough area of Britain to be fair.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

They are trying to find Narnia.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Alreet

Bin men broke my bin 6 days ago. I was told it would take 5 days to fit a new lid. I told them yesterday I needed to use my bin now k? They said k, so good luck with all that now wet cat litter you lazy fuckers.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

They have those finance rental 2 year deals on them and how much you pay is based on your post code, my parents are posh so they got the top model with unlimited mileage, fully comp, plus tax and insurance for £fuckall a month.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Last time I went to a so called "nerd" meet organised on a forum I was a member of it turns out they weren't nerds at all, they were all very well dressed middle class people in their early 30s who just worked in offices on computers, and either knew each other in real life or were so similar that it made no difference. Fake nerds, is what they were. It was very awkward when I turned up and, you know, actual nerd. it's rather put me off meeting internet people for life although on the plus side none of these people were seen on said forum again.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Quote-Unquote posted:

i'd go to a goon meet but im very lazy and it'd probably involve getting the train somewhere far away which is just bad

It will involve getting on a train, and then a bus or taxi to the spoons nearest to whoever is organising the thing's house, while they swear blind that no, they live 2 miles away and it is just as inconvenient for them as everyone else, it's just that they heard good things about this pub is all.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Depends when the last flood was although Venice at it's worst smells like Paris in summer at it's best.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

What you have to do while you are there is sit outside a cafe in st mark's square and have a Coca Cola with ice and lemon in it, costs an absolute fortune but Italian Coca Cola is the absolute best in the world and the idea of sub par lemons is an affront to them.

Edit: and if you ask Italian waiters nicely what olive oil goes best with your pizza they will bring you the good non tourist stuff that hasn't been sat out for three weeks from the kitchen.

learnincurve fucked around with this message at 21:39 on Oct 21, 2015

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Could be worse, I voluntarily moved to Chesterfield.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

"Chesterfield; better schools than Brixton."

Far more goose poo poo though.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

Fraction posted:


I vote goonmeet at the manc Christmas market. We can stairs sausage man and everything.

I won't be there so my reasoning is pure, if he's at the special Chesterfield Christmas market then this is where you should meet. One/only good thing about this place is that it's a train hub. I can pretty much pick any city in the UK and there will be a train there within half an hour and as there are only two platforms there is no cocking around. Plus it's near the town centre so you won't need to taxi/bus/walk for ages.

Edit: Chesterfield is a market town btw, old people get bussed in and everything.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply