UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

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Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Time to send the army into Calais.

We are being invaded by swarms of cockroaches.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 12:00

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:26

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Fingerless Gloves posted:

If only we'd listened to you Nige

You had your chance. If you didn't vote for me/UKIP then you CANNOT complain.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 12:16

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

200/600 - mediterranean sea needs to step up its game...

# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 22:43

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Remember to sign these petitions...

A vote of no-confidence in the Prime Minster David Cameron over the Calais crisis

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/105402

Deploy the Army in Calais to protect our borders from the invasion of scroungers.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/105489

# ¿ Aug 7, 2015 11:05

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Call Me Dave sure gave it to Hammond.

Send the army in to do a mans job.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2015 12:05

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

crispix posted:

is she like, able to just chop peoples' heads off and stuff?!

No dear.

They are called "Muslims".

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 17:08

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

crispix posted:

so like is england like part of london

No. The Islamic State of Londanistan is our capital.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 17:09

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

crispix posted:

uuuurgggh piss off, nige

truth hurts huh?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 17:32

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

I had a phone argument with Herman Van Rompuy.

Had four pints of IPA at the pub.

I had another phone argument with Carswell.

Then we met at the pub and had a few pints.

Then I had dinner and drinks with Adam Walker and congratulated him on his leadership victory last month.

Now we going down the pub.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 19:58

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Party Boat posted:

It's the little details I appreciate Nige.

How was dinner?

It was divine. I really recommend the smoked salmon with quail�s eggs.

Adam was a charm. We had a really good chat about solutions to the Calais problem that we could promote without being accused of promoting genocide of these parasites.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 20:24

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Ratjaculation posted:

wotsits are lame. agree/disagree?

Space invaders is where its at and wham bars.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 18:04

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

corn in the fridge posted:

have we stopped talking about running

The only running going on in the UK is by the migrants jumping out of the lorries.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 18:37

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

werther's original minus the pedo grandad

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 19:48

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Dysgenesis posted:

Michael Fish.

isn't he a pedophile?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 19:50

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

JFairfax posted:

don't think so, just that one who jumped around the weather map in liverpool docks on this morning with richard and judy

Oh yeah fred talbot - I got confused.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 19:52

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Dysgenesis posted:

I met him as a child.

did he try to :a2m:

you?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 19:57

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

goatface posted:

When dog food stopped having such a high ash content.

people eat dog food.

they put water crust pastry around it and call it "pork pies".

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 20:43

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Jose posted:

you're clearly a big fan

nope... I am not stupid or poor enough to eat that peasant pet food in disguise.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 20:46

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Jose posted:

but the amount of poo poo that comes out of your mouth

I beg your pardon?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 20:48

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bozza posted:

outrageous post. this is worse than those bellends posting that roast beef is the best monster munch.

but it is the best flavour. :allears:

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 20:54

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Fluo posted:

grouse hunting season

my man...

What gun do you use for shooting?

I prefer a 12-bore shotgun, I have a Spanish aya no2 deluxe and browning d5.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 22:51

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

What the hell is that bucks fizz crap you porridge wogs drink?

I always thought bucks fizz was an 80's pop group.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 10:10

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Nigel Farage posted:

What the hell is that bucks fizz crap you porridge wogs drink?

I always thought bucks fizz was an 80's pop group.

I am still waiting for an answer porridge wogs! :argh:

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 12:42

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bardeh posted:

isnt it called buckfast and it makes you violent? my only experience with it was seeing some 18 year old scottish chav on a train swigging from a bottle once in Canterbury, he was trying to get in the pants of these two 14-ish year old girls and it was pretty depressing

Thats it... buckfast.

I googled and it said its made by loving Monks?

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 13:09

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Aramoro posted:

Made by English Monks, in England. I thought you'd be all for that.

Actually yes when I think about it. English Monks destroying Scotland by frying the brains and pickling the livers of their youths with an alcoholic caffeinated beverage.

genius plan who ever though of it, pure genius.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 13:33

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

corn in the fridge posted:

you are a boring gimmick

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 13:47

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bozza posted:

I got unreasonably annoyed when it'd let me have some right old made up words but wouldn't let me have "butty" which is an actual loving word!

Someone post the Farage Montage... D&D posters know which one.

Is this what you looking for. I do look good I have to say...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGNoZfvRoA

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 15:22

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

I just used my bosch tassimo for the first time. Came with a selection of coffees and teas.

I am wholly unimpressed with the quality of the coffee. I just tried one of the lattes with the extra milk/creamer pod and it sucks.

I think I might return it to amazon.

Anybody recommend a good coffee machine?

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 17:56

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

theres a cool polish guy who owns a cafe in town his coffee is loving beautiful

Well tell him to go BACK to Poland and make coffee for his own people to enjoy and stop stealing British jobs.

Bloody foreigners ruining this once great nation coming here thinking they are gonna win us over with their barista skills.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:13

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

RedLobster posted:

Tesco Gold freeze dried are my coffee of choice.

How can you drink freeze dried coffee?

It's bloody drat awful stuff.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:14

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

realpost mix the coffee grains with a little bit of cream before adding the water

if you pour the water straight onto the beans it will scald them and change the flavour

if you are making tea you do the opposite, pour the water slowly onto the bag the second its boiled to release the flavour

if you add milk to tea while the bag is anywhere near the mug i swear to god i will hunt you down and make flapjacks with your kidneys

I rarely drink tea but when I do I steep my teabag after I have added milk. Come at me!

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:20

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

nigel its his cafe, the cafe that was there before was poo poo and it had poo poo coffee he has improved our community

Good. So his work is done. He should know pass his knowledge of coffee and cafe back to us British and go home.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:21

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Fluo posted:

Coffe pods are over priced scam

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3437887

The Tassimo t-disc pods are about �15-25+ for 40 servings on amazon.

I dont think thats too expensive.

I just ordered some more today.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:28

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Just looking at amazon orders and I have spent nearly 2 grand this month at amazon.

gently caress I need to curb my spending.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:32

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

nigel you are not being nice and i dont think we can be cool bros any more

but mate.... I cant help it.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:33

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

JFairfax posted:

yeah you're a loving retard if you put anything other than beans or ground beans into your coffee making device or machine.

gently caress right off with this poo poo

But they are ground beans in a t-disc pod.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:34

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Fluo posted:

The goon approved coffee sperg site is http://www.hasbean.co.uk/

Order before 4pm turns up next day and roasted by order

Running low so ordering some for saturday after work

That site looks good, gonna try

So which one of you here owns it?

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:48

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

its ok just put it on expenses

But how can I expense a GeForce GTX 980 and Intel Core i7.

Gotta eat it I guess

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:55

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

Bozza posted:

I drink tea at work cos it's free.

Occasionally, I treat myself to a coffee when I get a sausage and egg roll from Greggs in the morning as it's 20p extra.

Greggs.

How poor are you?

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 19:19

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:26

Nigel Farage: Jun 20, 2015; by Ralp
(and can't post for 2 years!)

The Saurus posted:

Greggs is a british tradition and is where the political class goes to buy sossy rolls and bacon sarnies to prove that they're just like the average working briton

the real nige would know this

I dont stoop that low.

And haven't eaten their since it changed from Thurstons.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 19:22

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

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