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Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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"A pleasant surprise, full of joy and old-fashioned romance, and set in a gorgeous, fully realized fantasy world"
- Kevin VanOrd, Gamespot.com

"An excellent title with solid game play, good character development, and a solid - if short - story full of societal criticism and in-depth analysis of modern issues [...] which makes powerful statements about the society in which we live"
- Johansen Quijano-Cruz, Eludamos Journal for Computer Game Culture

"Blast some piss onto this video game, out of my dick"
- Instant Grat, Eternal Sonata Session 4 Part 3, Recording notes

Eternal Sonata is a video game in which famous mid-1800s French Polish composer Freddy Frank Choppin spends his last night alive having fever dreams about hosed up anime people who are upset about taxes on bread.

It features such things as:
  • A 12 minute intro cutscene set in an idyllic village in which a mother tells her 8-year old daughter to throw herself off a cliff
  • A world in which being terminally ill gives you superpowers (nice wishful thinking there, Chopster)
  • Powerpoint slideshows
  • The phrase "I wish I'd grown up with Jazz"
  • A dream, within which is a flashback, within which is another flashback to earlier in the first flashback
It was made by Tri-Crescendo, the people who made music for Valkyrie Profile and Baten Kaitos before they decided to split and make their own company. Tri-Crescendo were also responsible for Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, which the Pork Lift and wateyad LP dream team have covered over here.

We (the people whose voices are available for you to listen to in the videos below) are Instant "Cool Guy" Grat, and Harris "Hellraiser" Bomberguy. We spent about 24 hours over a period of 5 days playing this video game, and we recorded it for you so that you can watch it if that sounds like a good time to you. Here is a video that Hbomb made me record to get you in the mood:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFBBmWpzh2o

Still here? Excellent! Let's just dive right in:




1. Go to hell, my terrible child (Polsy)
2. Don't eat the bread (Polsy)
3. Death & taxes (Polsy)
4. Choppin' (Polsy)
5. Hogfight (Polsy)
6. WAH HA HA! (Polsy)
7. George (Polsy)
8. Flash (Polsy)


9. Protein (Polsy)
10. A+ anime hair, IMO (Polsy)
11. Not a good dungeon (Polsy)
12. A good time (Polsy)
13. Kill Phil (Polsy)
14. Oh, we're back (Polsy)
15. Salsa "Yeehaw" Jackson (Polsy)
16. Eat the rich (Polsy)
17. Chapter Tu(ba) (Polsy)


18. Kaffe (Polsy)
19. Farron Gutterblight (Polsy)
20. Schmediting (Polsy)
21. Light the Candle (Polsy)
22. OP (Polsy)


23. Pirate Bay (Polsy)
24. Shipping (Polsy)
25. VINDICATION (Polsy)
26. Danceless (Polsy)
27. Freeze (Polsy)
28. gently caress you, mom (Polsy)
29. Briefly (Polsy)
29.5. LIVE STREAMING EXTRAVAGANZA (Polsy)
30. instant grat failure reel (Polsy)


31. Dawn of the 4th Day (Polsy)
32. Sean^3 (Polsy)
33. Half an hour of cutscenes (Polsy)
34. Are you loving kidding (Polsy)
35. Ice to stab you (Polsy)
35.5 LIVE!!! AGAIN!!! (Polsy)


36. A stupid plan (Polsy)
37. Two idiots (Polsy)
38. Bitch Death Hell (Polsy)


39. Foresight / Afterlife (Polsy)
40. Nocturne op.9 No.2 (Polsy)
41. Chuunibyou (Polsy)
42. Garlic Dad (Polsy)
43. Podblast from the Podpast (Polsy)


44. Life is a flat circle (Polsy)

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Aug 1, 2017

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Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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as drawn and written by Hbomb

POLKA



Polka is dying of an unknown terminal disease. The disease is unknown either because we're not told what it is or I wasn't paying attention. Either way, this also means she has magical powers.

One of these powers is to use an umbrella as a weapon and get away with it. Others are glowing orange, and diving off a cliff. An amazing array of skills.

Polka is very briefly passed off as the main character before being completely subordinated by some guy with a top hat, and another guy with a shoulder pad made of feathers for some reason. It's a metaphor for our society and how it does that to women.

ALLEGRETTO



Allegretto is an incredibly pretty teenage boy-man who appears to run a small team of sewer-dwelling, yet remarkably well-dressed, equipped and camera-owning, orphan thieves. He's got a weird feather wing thing, presumably because he wanted to cosplay Sephiroth.

Apart from a bit where he briefly rants in detail about the systemic problems with Capitalism, he mostly has very little to say except textbook 'you're mean!' or 'wow, that was good music playing, Frederic' (spoilers, music man plays music) stuff you get with anime protagonists. He makes up for it by being written as comically dumb, so lots of his interactions with NPCs and dialogue about him is pretty funny.

Characters keep claiming there's romantic tension between Allegretto and Polka but we never see any. Presumably all those scenes got cut in favor of sewer levels.

BEAT


Beat is Allegretto's little brother/pseudo-brother. Either way they're both homeless kids.

Beat's got a cool gun that doubles as a hammer, and also a camera. How he owns these incredibly expensive and (from what we see of the game) potentially one-of-a-kind items is currently unknown.

His plot purpose is mostly to be a dumb foil for Allegretto to talk down to, but as far as 'annoying kid' characters go, I kinda like him. He plays off quite well with other characters who turn up later. He strikes a good balance between 'slightly brash child who doesn't take things seriously' with 'relatively innocent person coming to terms with the depths of human suffering.' So like Hope from FF13 but if he was in a game with writers or a story.

FRÉDÉRIC FRANÇOIS CHOPIN

(bonus version with no lines)

Freddy Chopping is the main character, in a sense. He's dying, and the game is his dying dream. Or maybe it isn't? They sort of imply? I hope it isn't, because he's barely in it and mostly talks about how weird his dream is and plays really good piano offscreen while the real story happens.

Because his weapon is frequently referred to as a 'shaft', Freddo is fodder for numerous jokes that Grat is going to edit out

gratnote: you are seriously overestimating my willingness to spend time editing audio

VIOLA



Viola herds goats. This features in her design in the form of those weird bunched-up goat ear/horn shapes in her hair. Unfortunately the rest of her design got mixed up with an unrelated character who dances in a cage in a goat-themed nightclub.

Viola is upset that goats are being taxed - or something? More importantly, a life of defending goats from whatever the natural predator of a goat is, which I can only assume is God himself, has led to her becoming a murdermaster who can carry the whole party singlehandedly. Her character development is, she briefly wonders if it's okay to be single at age 26 (a spinster in Anime years), then decides it is and continues to gank fools for ever.

I like Viola because, apart from her design, she is almost completely untainted by the Anime Madness that has infected most of the story. She doesn't have to serve the bullshit plot very much so she's completely free to just do whatever

Her pet, Arco, is not in this picture because I forgot he exists at all. But that's how rad Viola is. She has a bullshit anime companion and they don't even turn up enough to imprint on your memory.

JAZZ



One morning, Jazz' best friend, a performance artist, got arrested for making weird pointless inventions and bothering people with their modern art pieces. In protest, Jazz took up his jailed friend's latest creations, the trumpet...sword (made to "highlight the performative nature of violence, or something, look, war is bad okay Jazz") and founded a revolution with two other people he knew from high school. Jazz is a tactical mastermind and a true thorn in the side of authority, despite the minor setback of literally one third of his group being spies.



When me and Hbomb played this game, we were playing on the Xbox 360. There is, however, a PS3 version of this game, which features a bunch of extra stuff that wasn't in the 360 release. Aside from increased combat difficulty, the most notable changes are an extra dungeon (lord have mercy) and a bunch of additional cutscenes (LORD HAVE MERCY).

Thread poster pichupal owns the PS3 version of this game, and has offered to keep us posted on the extra stuff. So, if you're following this thread and thinking to yourself that what this game needs is even more cutscenes, this is the place for you.

The first differences already crop up in the game's intro. This video slots in before the very first bits of the 360 version's intro, as seen in Update 1 of this thread.

pichupal posted:

Eternal Sonata PS3 differences - Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE2RSv_OCBM

I kept part of the scene at the end to show where it connects back to the 360 version and to show off that Polka, Beat and Allegretto get the ability to change outfits in the PS3 version. She'll still be in her normal dress your first time through though.

The next place differences crop up is right after Update 17, at the end of the game's Chapter 2.

pichupal posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vrHZQ3otMU
So, the three scenes in this video:

The first takes place right as you enter Fort Fermata, same as the 360 version. Except, instead of monologuing his concerns about dreams and reality he just flat out tells everyone hey, I think you're in my dream. Then Polka gets angry at Allegretto. This conversation is even stupider when it's not all in his head. (I also forgot this scene was different in the 360 version and had to reupload it).

The second scene I added because both you and the designers realized the lead up to the mineral powder conversation came out of nowhere.

The last one is actually the second Attract Mode that can play on the PS3 version. It crams in another moment for Allegretto and Polka, but it also shows the terrible loss of Salsa's hat to the waves. Will they be reunited?

The least important addition that I stuck in a separate video is another song. The piano you examined in Forte will play Mazurka in B Minor (Opus. 33 No. 4). No powerpoint or anything. Just the song. It's... pretty nice, I guess? I have no idea why they thought they needed to add it. Incidentally, Mazurka is Falsetto's French name.

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 13:23 on Aug 16, 2016

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Hbomberguy posted:

God drat it, Joe

Beat me to posting in my own thread

Shut it down, Grat. I'm not having this.

You are grounded

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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everyone posted:

puns

:captainpop:

Dragas posted:

I also find the very idea that Chopin was ever a French composer very dissonant. Please do not denigrate my Polish heritage.

I promise you that we do eventually discover the true heritage of Freddo Choppings.

pichupal posted:

Just a quarter note.

For those who don't know, a PS3 port of Eternal Sonata was released about a year after the 360 one. Along with extra dungeons, it attempted to 'fix' the plot and made minor changes to dialogue, added scenes (an extra 2 minutes on that intro) It doesn't really help, but I ended up enjoying this silly anime game anyways.

I'll try to comment on any interesting differences that actually happen. The stuff added here is technically important, but the game will harp on it multiple times later.

In my head, I somehow got this game mixed up with Tales of Vesperia, and assumed that the "enhanced" (for lack of a better word) PS3 port was Japan-only.

Although it is probably for the best that there wasn't even more dungeons in the game. The 360 version was just about all we could take.

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 13:48 on Aug 8, 2015

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Bonus content:



(props to forums user Suspicious Dish for making me a template photoshop file for this)

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Taciturn Tactician posted:

(LP's looking good so far. Honestly if there's really co-op I might pick up a copy even if it's terrible :v:)

You can pick which gamepad controls each character in battle.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Hbomberguy posted:

CHARACTERS OF ETERNAL SONATA, PART ONE: POLKA



Polka is dying of an unknown terminal disease. The disease is unknown either because we're not told what it is or I wasn't paying attention. Either way, this also means she has magical powers.

One of these powers is to use an umbrella as a weapon and get away with it. Others are glowing orange, and diving off a cliff. An amazing array of skills.

Polks is very briefly passed off as the main character before being completely subordinated by some guy with a top hat, and another guy with a shoulder pad made of feathers for some reason. It's a metaphor for our society and how it does that to women.

NICE

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Last time: cutscenes and an onion.

This time: more onions, some chickens, some cats, a horse, more cutscenes, bread.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Elgato's capture software lets you write little notes for each recording session, so I'm gonna post the ones I wrote while we were playing this game as we get to them.

Here's the one for the first session (episodes 1 and 2)



Artix posted:

Oh god. Grat, when you said you were going to do Lightning Returns but you would leave it to us, I didn't think you'd be doing...this. I'm so sorry.

I'm bad at decision-making

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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pichupal posted:

To be fair, 100% of what was added isn't in the stupid dialogue between Polka and Solfege (the mother). It vaguely puts some of the nonsense into perspective, but only very slightly.

I'll see if I can record the differences, but it's slightly spoiler-y if you really think about why they were added to the PS3 port.

Cool fact: The name of Polka's mother is never mentioned in the game as far as I'm aware. The only reason I know it is because it was listed in the credits, and I got curious and looked up who "Solfege" was supposed to be, since I didn't remember any character by that name in the game.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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pichupal posted:

Eternal Sonata PS3 differences - Part 1

Nifty, gonna put this in the OP

Hbomberguy posted:

CHARACTERS PART TWO: ALLEGRETTO

those eyes are terrifying

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Update sometime tomorrow. Thread is locked until then. Please stop talking about anime poop.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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In this video, Hbomb accompanies me on a sightseeing tour of the Scenic Ritardando Sewers, and it is a fun time for all involved.

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Aug 17, 2015

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Ghostwoods posted:

Apparently Vivid Shot actually does get you photos. Wooooo.

Shhhh, spoilers :ssh:

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Ted_Haggard posted:

At least the environments in this game look visually somewhat interesting. So far, to me anyway.

For Beethoven mode can you do a new game plus and mute your TV?

I know the audio isn't perfect, but the fact is we just didn't have time or money before Hbomb had to fly home to get the splitters and cables we would've needed to pipe the game's audio into two sets of headphones to completely avoid the microphone picking up game audio.

At best, this contributes to creating a feeling that you're stuck in the room with me and Hbomb as we murder all of these rats, and at worst (I hope) it's more "mild annoyance" than "unwatchable garbage".

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Mr. Soop posted:

All I can think of so far when I watch the game play and story is that we're going to have to go a *long* way to get back to 19th Century composer Frederic Chopin. :psyduck:

The Burger King Chopper will show up very soon, do not worry

Ted_Haggard posted:

The sound is fine. It was a bad joke about the composer going deaf, no worries.

Cool, a few people in the Sandcastle mentioned that the audio was bothering them, so I wanted to clear it up just in case

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Last time: We had to break in the middle of a cutscene.

This time: The rest of that cutscene, also bug poo poo, also a hat.

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 14:40 on Aug 24, 2015

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Great Joe posted:

I was wondering about what you said about toilet ghosts, so I went on the internet and found a list of the different types of toilet ghost in Japanese folklore. Something about dying on the can is just terrifying to them.

That website posted:

6) Toilet Hanako



Possibly the most famous of the Japanese toilet ghosts, Hanako is actually a relatively benign spirit. Basically, she's a scary thing Japanese kids dare each other to summon, by either knocking on the stall door or saying "Are you there, Hanako-san?" to which she will reply that she is. Occasionally she will be seen as well. While descriptions vary, generally she is described as having an old-fashioned bob haircut and wearing a red skirt. There are various origins for Hanako: some say she is the ghost of a child killed during a bomb raid in WWII, other legends variously claim she was killed by a deranged parent or stranger.

Hanako is a popular subject for Japanese pop culture. There is a series of horror movies based on a more sinister version of the legend, and she also pops up in several anime and manga. In the anime Haunted Junction, Hanako is portrayed as a sultry and busty teenager in a too small (and too tight) school uniform. The little toilet ghost fares a bit better as one of the stars in the manga Hanako and the Terror of Allegory; she's still a young girl, but she is given incredible supernatural hacking powers and the power to teleport between any two toilets in the world.

:smug:

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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In the video game Eternal Sonata, Hanako is portrayed as a horse with the mystical and unexplained power to shrink down and glue herself to the hands of young photographers

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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It's been a while since the last update! It will probably be a tiny while more. Today is my birthday, so it's gonna be more spending time with family, and less editing audio for internet video game videos.

Update tomorrow probably!

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Took a few days extra, but here we are! New update:



Recording notes:

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Forgall posted:

Video is private.

Yeah I just realized, it's fixed now. Sorry!

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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BioEnchanted posted:

In a few hours you'll be glad the option to go back to Party Level 1 wasn't available.

Yeah, in case anyone is curious, selecting your party level is part of the (soon-to-be rapidly expanding) list of things that are only available in New Game+.

Instant Grat
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Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.



My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.



He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.



The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,



And miles to go before I sleep.

as of the latest update, we are halfway through session 2 part 1

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Hbomberguy posted:

Did we die at the end or were we just dreaming? Things got weird.

inconclusive

post freddy's character bio

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Updates are delayed because I've been playing Mad Max.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eod0SYWspzg

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Hbomberguy posted:

My art has been delayed due to Heroes of the Storm. Gonna make my millions in e-sports.

CHARACTERS OF ETERNAL SONATA: FREDERIC FRANCOIS CHOPIN

(bonus version with no lines)

Freddy Chopping is the main character, in a sense. He's dying, and the game is his dying dream. Or maybe it isn't? They sort of imply? I hope it isn't, because he's barely in it and mostly talks about how weird his dream is and plays really good piano offscreen while the real story happens.

Because his weapon is frequently referred to as a 'shaft', Freddo is fodder for numerous jokes that Grat is going to edit out.

Good, that should cover all of 'em for a little while.

Time for an update!

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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bathroomrage posted:

Glad you finally found out that Beat actually, you know, has a gun! You may want to do some more experimentation, a couple of characters in this game have unique mechanics that the game expects you to either know about or figure out on your own.

Hbomb will be playing as Beat throughout the majority of the LP because he sees a lot of himself in this small, stupid child

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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An update will be inbound momentarily. I'm editing the audio right now and I'm gonna be honest, the next one is probably my favorite of the bunch so far. It's important enough that I'm gonna have to change the thread title for it.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Just putting a lil' feeler out: would any of you be interested in a little thread competition for fun and (un)cool prizes?

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Jul 31, 2009

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Suspicious Dish posted:

Is one of the uncool prizes your mug?

i'm literally drinking coffee from that mug at this very second

Great Joe posted:

That all depends on whether the thing we do is fun and/or cool.

fanart, video game challenges, tiny paragraph-niblets of very silly fanfiction where all the characters are marxists (or whatever political ideology hbomb is talking about at the time), that sort of thing

Logicblade posted:

How uncool are we talking here?

video games and custom t-shirts probably

e: Also the next episode is (privately) on YouTube, I just gotta make update images and come up with a title

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Jul 31, 2009

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The streetfood in Camden is pretty good.

You could probably get a meal and a half out of just eating the samples that all the vendors stick in your face when you're walking through the market.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Thread contest!

We're gonna have some good old fashioned viewer participation. Every so often, an update will be accompanied by a little challenge, which will award Eterno-points to those who participate. At the end of the thread, whoever has the most points will win a cool prize. There will also be a prize for second place, as well as a special prize, the winning condition for which is a secret.

The first challenge is fan-art! As we all know, everyone's favorite party member Beat is a skilled wildlife photographer, with a wide and varied portfolio. I would like you to draw what you think might be the photograph that he likes best out of all the photos he's taken. Doesn't have to be anything we've seen in the game! It could be literally anything you can imagine. Points won't necessarily be deducted for being a bad artist (i can barely draw a stick figure and am in no place to point fingers), but bonus points may be awarded if I am totally blown away.

I'll figure out exactly how to award points once I see how many entries pop up. Also, disclaimer: If we only get, like, 1½ entries per challenge, I reserve the right to nix the whole contest-thing. It's no fun if it's not at least close to a real competition!

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Also: I rejiggered the OP because all those giant images were getting a bit unwieldy. Let me know if I broke any of the links.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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Thanks Geop for the new thread title :buddy:

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Jul 31, 2009

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Moskau posted:

This LP still going on?

Yes! School is currently kicking my rear end (2 weeks to do a project that should by all rights take a month and a half, woo), so I don't have too much time to devote to LP. I hope to have an update up sometime next week, fingers crossed.

Thanks for the entries so far! I'm keeping it open for a lil' bit longer, just in case someone else wants to jump in as well.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

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A couple days later than I said, but man... exams hard, you guys! I'm doing a lot of schoolwork right now, and that's gonna continue on until Dec. 7th. After that, I'll have oodles of free time.

For now though, update!



Also, contest! I'm gonna call the end of the first round now.

Of the three entries, I'm giving first prize and 4 EternoBux to BravestOfTheLamps for this stirring MS Paint rendition of Goat Messiah heading home to ask his dad if he can borrow the car:



Second prize, and 2 Premium golden coins only $2.99 goes to Moskau for some unsettling spirit photography:



And bronze goes to Lockmat for pasting in some saucy thing they found on google maps (:nws:, possibly) on top of a screencap from one of the LP updates. In the spirit of things, I decided on an alternative way to dole out points for this one: I looked intensely at the horribly lewd image, dropped trou, and measured the ol' goatsnack, and Lockmat's points will be decided by what the measuring tape said. Thusly, you get 1½ Sexbangs.

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BioEnchanted posted:

God, I remember this dungeon. It suuuuucks... Way too long.

between bouts of project work i am furiously editing the next video because hoo boy

that is a Bad Dungeon

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