OhDearGodNo posted:

Literally Kermit posted:

Where in the gently caress are all those ships kept, anyway?

nopantsjack posted:

Its somewhat of a moot point, because they can't. They might end up with an incredibly unstable sorta planetside/E:D game though.

Decrepus posted:

Chris Roberts: I'm not a game developer. There's no "Roberts Space Industries" We don't have a game.
Dick Wulf: [looking at PC screen] But there it is...
Chris Roberts: The game is just jpgs.
Dick Wulf: But, I see many ships.
Chris Roberts: You've seen concepts that look like ships. Our flight model is... is Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing. And our cargo system is... it's Bejeweled. It's an illusion. It's all fake. Just like me.
Dick Wulf:

Young Freud posted:

I'm guessing this was sometime in 2013, when prior to when Frontier released the Elite: Dangerous playable alpha to backers, or 2014, when they actually released a finished game. If it was this year, we're seeing the release of a whole bunch of expansions through the winter as well as the X-Box One version being released this Tuesday.

Also, C-Rob is only responsible for something like 8 games, but Frontier has produced more than double that. They might be stuff like Roller Coaster Tycoon and Dog's Life, but at least they were finished projects.

I said come in! posted:

Still wish Derek Smart would gently caress off. Every time I see him talk about this game, a tiny part of me wants to see Star Citizen succeed just to spite him. Like I fully agree with him, but everything about him is just so obnoxious and annoying.

AP posted:

Star Citizen: Consolidated Outland Mustang Commercial
Scientology Beliefs: The Components of Understanding

Bootcha posted:

I HAVE BEEN INFUSED WITH GREAT PURPOSE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGRsEF953n0

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Man even the criticisms of Star Citizen get delayed.

peter gabriel posted:

"Hi there I have your delivery of lies here you need to sign for it"

spacetoaster posted:

Does ED really suck? I was under the impression that it's still some kind of early beta release and that more content is coming?

OhDearGodNo posted:

They also could have make witchspace (or whatever) more like the warp.

Things like that add atmosphere. There were a lead things in ED that blew me away, like when you come into a system and you decelerate right in front of a star, and bank away reactively.

Or dogfighting around a capital.

But other than that, it was a lot of traveling, worrying about fuel, annoying interdictions, and so much emptiness.

Dusty Lens posted:

According to some brown sea forum PM I just received.

So, I guess if that's true, kinda deflates the super secret value of any information concerning what's going to be the big 'ol crazy secret ship thing at the great con.

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Everyone post your favorite promised Star Citizen features (aside from it existing):

- the entire concept of an information courier
- cargo actually being modeled and simulated down to the individual item

SirPhoebos posted:

Please read: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3603841

A Neurotic Jew posted:

I'm the N64 era fog.

The Kins posted:

I found this spaceship mpeg behind my couch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S01H7NIAd4

SelenicMartian posted:

See you in Diverse!

Romes128 posted:

i almost feel sorry for the hangar for housing so many failures.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

So far so good.

redwalrus posted:

Tarranon posted:

ordinarily i hate doing this but even I can't do three thousand new posts, has a deece summary of anything amazing been posted anywhere or is that collection of mediocrity posted above it

Chalks posted:

Unfunny Poster posted:

Angels Fall First is a game that basically is doing everything Star Citizen is trying to do, but done competently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqkqysFrjCk

Octopode posted:

At some point when running towards a brick wall, the prudent person will stop.

Sarsapariller posted:

Is that a cellular peptide cake?

Oh god nobody's going to get that.

Nalin posted:

We have two Goonrathi servers up for Angels Fall First. The lag isn't as bad as it was on release and the developers seem to know the major causes of it, so it should only get better. It's pretty impressive for being the creation of only a couple people, and hopefully they make enough money on Steam to afford better sound effects because wow, some of those guns sound bad.

Sappo569 posted:

Agggh!

On an unrelated note, how come the usual faces were totally absent from the whole presentation?

Lesnick, Disco, ..... wait who else is left that they haven't fired?

I guess Chris decided things would go smoother if he was the only one

Gestalt Intellect posted:

Ok I had to skim the last 3000 posts, where did that amazing face texture come from.

nopantsjack posted:

The Story So Far

The initial drama
Derek Smart is Derek Smart, trolls Star Citizen for a few months.
The Escapist publishes a peice where employees of CIG accuse Chris and Sandy of mismanagement, waste of funds and specifically Sandy of racism and muff-hating.
Chris Roberts posts a big meltdown on the Star Citizen site accusing Escapist of manufacturing sources/beleiving disgruntled employees/being Derek Smart/being Gamergate.
One day later CIG threaten Escapist with a defamation suit against the claims on Sandy (notably no claims to do with the money) unless they apologise and remove the article within 24 hours.
The Escapist says no, and commits to further investigation.

Pre-Citicon:
Derek Smart predicts a ship called the Vindicator will come out and it'll be $175 and a fighter, he does this through Beer who gets banned from the CIG forums for it.
Much shitposting.

Citicon:
After a brief delay and schizophrenic countdown timer, Citicon opens with a tearful speech from Sandy where she appeals to backers to think on the deep social connections they've forged by buying theoretical spaceships together, hypes Star Citizen as the pinnacle of human endeavour. This all sounds like a resignation and she's given going-away flowers, but doesn't leave.
gently caress you, Derek #1: "Anonymous hate campaign" + Look how much Sandy's underlings like her She also drops that she and Chris are married and this has "never been a secret" which is untrue.

Chris waddles on stage and mumbles through his nose and giggles, after showing how many devblog programs they've made the first thing he does is show off how many people he has working for him to disprove allegations of shrinking studio sizes. (gently caress you, Derek #2)
Chris lists the only stuff that is probably coming out soon, and its basically two weapons and buggies and the ability to respawn after you die.

After months of delays Star Marine is quietly scrapped and the development process is reversed and is no longer modular, now they're going to combine all the modules into one alpha to be released at an undisclosed time. gently caress You, Derek #3: "Everyone always yells at me when I give you release dates so I won't anymore."

Chris manages to fail at Powerpoint and can't make the next slide work.
Chris declares the alpha map to be the biggest ever in a game but compares it with Daggerfall and Skyrim rather than Elite, EVE or No Man's Sky which are much larger.

At some point they show off the state of this combined alpha, which is basically the multicrew demo from earlier roughly combined with the Star Marine module, it still looks very choppy and extremely pre-alpha, tellingly in a 4v4 firefight none of the shooting is captured on camera.
From the looks of it its entirely possible to lose whole space systems by not being good enough at FPSes. This is the only "gameplay" shown in the whole presentation, and involves mostly walking and some taking off, travelling and landing in space ships, ostensibly some people shooting assault rifles and then getting back in a ship.

A guy introduces a neat map app thats actually available now in browser and seems to work, making it the most polished game to come out of the kickstarter so far. You can plan your space camping trip routes in a game that won't exist for 2 years maybe never. The guy running the demo nearly dies from stage fright.

Chris talks about a night club called the Million Mile High Club where presumably people will gently caress eachother in space. This will probably also come out in some form, since its just a map people can walk around in, will support up to 25 players lol habbo hotel tech.

Some other guy intros an unpriced super joystick/keyboard/throttle addon that looks like hot dogshit but the guy doing the presentation is the only human that comes on stage for the whole thing. Chris fucks up at the reveal at every opportunity continuing the trend of Chris not being able to do anything.

They intro the Referral program with a video made by the one man who doesn't know how to say referral. The new "refral" program basically encourages faithful Citizens to recruit new players to buy this nonexistant game or buy 25 new accounts to get themselves a gaudy gold ship skin.
Possibly before this they announce a new ship that is totally the Vindicator, but has been renamed the Saber and sliced $5 off the price. (gently caress you, Derek #4)
They also announce a new $2500 military ship pack to go with Squadron42.

Halfway through the event and Chris is now just going to talk about Squadron 42 for the next hour, everyone is super excited to see what they have to show.

They have videos of the motion cap studio they set up themselves and reveal that Gary Oldman is in it and show a trailer showing CG Gary Oldman doing an old man voice with a muppet mouth before bragging about their facial animation in another video. They reveal a bunch of celebrities such as Scully, Luke Skywalker and Gimli are also in it as well as Sandi Gardiner. In brief interviews Gary Oldman looks guarded or despondant and compares Chris to Lucas.

They show us the first Squadron 42 gameplay ever revealed and its one big walking cutscene where they tour the ship and nothing else happens, the voices and perfomances are okay but this... isn't a game and there are bugs everywhere even for this one slice they have made, the first guy you see's hair takes 10 seconds to appear, another guy has a luminous mouth like his soul is trying to escape. All the black characters are carrying luggage or cargo in the background.
The animations range from decent mocap to shockingly rudimentary. Release date is set as 2016 which is laughable for anyone watching.

Chris goes loving mental for like 25 minutes about how many hours of cutscenes the game has and how huge its script is and it becomes chillingly apparent to everyone he's just found a way to reignite his hollywood dreams off the backs of nerds with poor judgement.
He gets an underling to bring him the script and then throws it on the floor to show how huge it is, then turns around and leaves him to pick it up, then realises he's supposed to be pretending to be nice and squawks out an apology and does his weird Hyih Hyih giggle.

Cake Time! CIG make a final bid to fill time and distract people from the fact the game doesn't exist and they showed 10 minutes of gameplay and they just told everyone none of the stuff they've been waiting for is coming out and they're going to have to indefinitly wait for an alpha that currently doesn't exist in any releaseable way.
They have brought a big birthday cake and they try and figure out a way to get the cake on a table from where it is 4 feet to the right to centre stage, which takes an army of techies and employees much hemming and hawing.
A put-upon looking stage assistant lights the candles as Chris giggles and introduces his all male, all white staff. "Happy Birthday, Star Citizen" they sing. The cake has 3 candles on it because its 3 years since the dream of Star Citizen and Star Citizen is just a dream.
Chris tries to blow out the candles and sprays spit all over them with a big ol' raspberry.
Chris makes two tentative cuts to the cake, asking the whole time how you cut cake and apologising like a man who has never seen a cake nor indeed a knife before.
Chris gives up immediately, nobody is getting any cake because he just can't figure this out, he tells the techies to cut the cake but then decides against it and announces the show is over.

I now know why I was put here on this earth, it was to make the longest post about Star Citizen nobody will ever want to read.

Young Freud posted:

Having worked at Suncoast a long time ago, this made my day.

Hammerstein posted:

Imagine if CR had been in charge back then. We would be goose-stepping to march music all day long.