Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Dapper Dan posted:

They want it to be a lawless space area with dangerous aliens and pirate rape but at the same time want the law to be so oppressive that they mercilessly deal with people who pvp. Ok then.

So they can live out their Malcolm Reynolds fantasies without people ruining their immersion, I would guess.

Their sense of entitlement can be measured by the amount of money they put into this ridiculous experience in the first place

# ¿ Dec 7, 2015 22:48

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:17

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

OWLS! posted:

But Rebel Galaxy is single player...

Sure but where's the neckbeard pissing contest in the form spending thousands of dollars on jpegs? :smuggo:

# ¿ Dec 7, 2015 23:11

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Crash74 posted:

who is that stretched face that gets zoomed in on? I'm not up on my SC lore.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 05:54

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

This game is The Emperor's New Clothes in action - the whales are convinced that their ignorance and credulity is actually the sign of genius. It's astounding.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2016 22:55

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Has anyone asked Croberts if they can make the game like Spelljammer? It would really help my immersion

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 08:18

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Gilganixon posted:

i remember going into the vents in Space Assassin, which was a fighting fantasy gamebook from 1985

I remember that too - it was almost definitely the most immersive experience of my life

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 19:41

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Since I can't remember the last time I was this entertained, I finally decided to get a custom title after only 13 years.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2016 06:29

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

I was really hoping that was a SC video involving a vending machine spinning wildly out of control

# ¿ Jan 15, 2016 06:38

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

iron buns posted:

^This. Elite at least tries to get it right with the glowing heat vents, but realistically all space ships should have huge heat radiator surfaces that fold out when the weapons are fired.

Vents so hot you can't crawl through them? No thanks. :colbert:

# ¿ Jan 15, 2016 21:34

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Are people who live in the Stimpire called Stimperials then, I've got to know

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 02:07

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Who wants to tell stories on the official forums about the Stumpire, an empire of people with amputated limbs

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 02:16

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

surc posted:

It's a portmanteau of "Star Empire", I think made by european people for whom english is not a first language, I think for some other game. And yes I know it should still be stempire, I didn't make the dang word.

Also, paging that poster with the velma avatar that comes up every time portmanteau is mentioned in this thread.

See I honestly thought it had something to do with stimming, but I actually hadn't thought too hard about it.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 03:42

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

These people really were traumatized by EVE like it was a real, literal war, holy poo poo

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 05:47

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Eonwe posted:

I'll go provided I'm allowed to talk at length about anime

I can't imagine why not

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 23:48

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

AP posted:

I agree with this, also given the lengths Dickwulf, Dolvak, the guy in the wheelchair, the mental expert & Karl have gone to in an attempt to gently caress with Derek, just because they don't like his opinions. I'd really think twice about drawing too much attention to yourself, these people are not mentally stable and the fact that chances are, we'll be laughing at them even harder in 6 months isn't going to help.

exactly why I nominate Eonwe to talk about anime - none of them merit or warrant any serious discussion.

I mean we could also just do nothing.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2016 01:52

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Eonwe posted:

lol

# ¿ Jan 17, 2016 06:18

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

peter gabriel posted:

I have made a grown up journalistic video to have a debate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-R5AIc--PU

cool video Derek

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 02:58

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

serious norman posted:

loving Basic Posting Etiquette.

I definitely always got a vibe of 'inflated self-importance' from the guy with a pink spinning elephant

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 18:51

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

So she thinks the game coming out would somehow be a catastrophe for us but we're the ones with cognitive problems, I see.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 19:09

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Scruffpuff posted:

Security in the UK studio is surprisingly lax. I just dressed up as a guy not carrying a camera, and I was able to walk right past Sandi like I wasn't even there. I got to glance at a couple of pages of the SQ42 script, reproduced here for your convenience.

MARK HAMILL: Where is Bishop?

JOHN RHYS-DAVIES: They have him, in the belly of that steel beast.

MARK HAMILL: He's captured! We'll have to break him out - I'll ram the ship with these sword attachments on my wings!

MARK STRONG: A sword. How human...

MARK HAMILL: At least I have an idea, I don't hear any of your plans. Is anyone here to help me or just give me a rash of poo poo?

GILLIAN ANDERSON: Why did they assign me to you in the first place, Old Man? To debunk your work, to rein you in, to shut you down...

MARK HAMILL: That's not helping. OK lock s-foils in attack position...we will have victory!

ANDY SERKIS: And take it for MMEEEE!!!

MARK HAMILL: For us, you mean. Victory for all of us.

ANDY SERKIS: Yes, we... we meant for us.

MARK HAMILL: OK we're getting in range. Let's do this carefully - Bishop is getting up there in years now, we don't know how much he can take. Does anyone know how old he is, anyway?

LIAN CUNNINGHAM: Sixty-seven, and when he dies, who's in command? A half-grown boy, the product of incest?

MARK HAMILL: Whoa, whoa, where the gently caress did that come from? Remind me never to discuss politics with you.

SANDI GARDINER: Look at me! Look at me!

MARK HAMILL: OK who brought this bitch along? She keeps getting in front of my ship and obstructing my view of the target.

SANDI GARDINER: I'm one of the world's best fighter pilots without a shadow of a doubt and always have been since I was a very small girl...

MARK HAMILL: No reward is worth this...

I call bullshit, the real script would have everyone asking where she was if she wasn't on screen. :colbert:

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 23:54

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

peter gabriel posted:

They think I am Beer

community delusion has progressed from thinking everyone is Derek Smart

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 02:20

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Madcosby posted:

i like how people refer to Beer now as "that troublemaker with the alcohol as his user name"

they are afraid to say beer because it conjures memories of a guy that had a customer service correspondence

stop, you know 'facts' and 'reality' trigger me

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 02:40

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Samizdata posted:

You know who else had a personality disorder?

Sandi?

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 19:49

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Mirificus posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6268936/#Comment_6268936

I want to sell life insurance door-to-door on the Planet Xenon, that will guarantee this is the BDSSE.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 03:53

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

LITERALLY MY FETISH posted:

When we can find 4 people who can speak clearly enough around ball gags.

Or who can talk through rapidly doubling electrical pain

# ¿ Jan 28, 2016 04:59

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Madcosby posted:

I'm prepared to make a significant offer of jpgs of money for the Star Citizen IP

I have many copies of pictures of briefcases full of money, Ortwin get in touch when you see this thanks

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 00:30

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

trucutru posted:

Will famed game developer Cloud Imperium Games be able to deliver one fifth of half the game they promised three years late using with five times more money than they asked for?

Seems pretty tough.

It'll be done when it's done, when will you stop with the unreasonable demands?????

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 00:38

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Eonwe posted:

wowzers, im gonna hit 21000 posts by Mon or Tues

I think I've posted more in this thread than I have in 10 years

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 00:49

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Ahdinko posted:

"I cant get spaceships values changed" -Director of Spaceships

I quite enjoyed "you heard the man, more pew pew!" personally

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 00:56

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

I had literally never heard of this game at all until, I think, last month. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen - I literally can't comprehend donating tens of thousands of dollars for a ship that they just want to simulate the mundane. It breaks my brain every time I try to make sense of it.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 03:59

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

ZenMaster posted:

You know who else was stationed in Santa Monica and had a sister studio overseas who they farmed out all of the major programming to?

Stellar Studios who made Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.

Think about it.

how does the current PU stack up to that game in terms of quality, anyway?

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 09:21

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Hav posted:

No, the vending machine eventually produced something.

A Chris Roberts vending machine would just print out jpgs of food

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 20:48

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Tace Vim posted:

This is fricken hilarious.

Inspired at least in part by Mr. Garrison's flying machine from Season 5 South Park, from the looks of it.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 04:41

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Lowtax posted:

I boarded some guys spaceship and got in a bubble chair and started farting sparks and smoke and fell out and landed on a space station but my space hat was gone and I started getting all these error messages about not being able to be found in the coordinate system and I pressed the up arrow until my spaceman flew off my screen and I could never find him again.

immersion

I only wish I had 100 million more to give to such a product

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 05:58

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

I really miss the SC bug fanfiction - there were only like, two stories but they were some of the best things in this whole thread imo

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 06:10

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Eonwe posted:

lol

same, I've worked on literally every AAA game while I've been researching for my 3 different doctorates so I totally know games development

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 03:44

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

BeefThief posted:

I'm beginning to think that the lack of progress on core features could spell trouble for the project

Now that you mention it.... :ohdear:

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 19:27

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

BeefThief posted:

Everyone ask them this coming week, what is the next major feature we can expect to see in the game. If it's not an outright scam, and they have the very barest level of competency, you should get some kind of answer.

Playing the game this weekend until yesterday when I got bored, I had a vision. Somebody should kickstart a demolition derby in space game.

As long as it involves a space bulldozer pushing wreckage into space, I'll back it

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 19:32

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

skaboomizzy posted:

that you think SQ42 will have a flight sim. It's gonna be all walking and cutscenes.

the 'game' portions will just be walking from cutscene to cutscene

# ¿ Feb 1, 2016 08:10

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:17

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Is it possible that Sandi lies pathologically about her past because she's a recently constructed robot with poo poo-poor AI and they didn't think to include a feasible backstory?

If this is too goon-creepy I will edit it out..

# ¿ Feb 1, 2016 19:16

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