- Thermos H Christ
- Sep 6, 2007
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WINNINGEST BEVO
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Me, slowly opening the door to my dads den: dad I bought Japanese blue jeans again because of my anxiety
Dad: we hell the dowgs cuh fine her they got time time a wait fuh toma-how
My mom yelling from upstairs: tuh fine her tuh fine her tuh fine heheher
Me: i used my student loan to buy ps4 because ps3 doesnt have blood born. Can i have $30 to get Wendys
My mom: schwozzy was my wohahoy, everythin Zen everything zen i dont think so
me: mom i think i may be in trouble for getting $1300 in american money on a donation website by saying I have leukemia please dont sing dragula
mom: dead i am the one
me, sobbing: please please i got a phone call from the canada revenus agency
my dad via speakerphone: conquering the worm
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Mar 18, 2016 19:21
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Apr 28, 2024 07:08
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- Thermos H Christ
- Sep 6, 2007
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WINNINGEST BEVO
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If this was in the US, she'd get attention alright when the bill for the ambulance came in.
A friend of mine I've known since HS tried Robotripping during senior year and freaked out thinking he was dying, so he called an ambulance and they came to his house and told him "You're just tripping balls, but you can get in this ambulance and go to the hospital if you want. It costs $1500." He told them no and they left, AFAIK nothing further came of it.
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Mar 28, 2016 04:10
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- Thermos H Christ
- Sep 6, 2007
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WINNINGEST BEVO
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I know it seems like a callous thing to say, but you're not responsible for her behaviour. You should read this - I found it really helpful when I was in a similar situationNear constant flatulence that has a smell so powerful to me that I risk cumming on particularly strong farts. In addition I can't hold them back for more than 10 minutes at most; if I try then it'll practically explode out my rear end, soil my pants a bit, and of course make me cream them like I was edging for a whole day.
The thing is, it becomes oddly easier to hold it if I somehow manage to keep them contained past that threshold point (I.e. industrial butt plugs) but if they're held in for over an hour I can't fart for a week. Instead, my cock farts instead of cumming (but the cum is still built up in my balls) and my body odor becomes my farts. My breath is of course foul to everyone but me. The result is if I hold it in too long, I become a perpetually aroused, sporadically ejaculating filth hound.
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Dec 20, 2016 19:04
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- Thermos H Christ
- Sep 6, 2007
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WINNINGEST BEVO
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Any true alcoholic goes straight to the nearest door jamb when fsced with a no-twist cap
I think the lighter and the dedicated bottle opener that one obviously has on one's keychain are both entirely acceptable alternatives
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Dec 24, 2016 05:14
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- Thermos H Christ
- Sep 6, 2007
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WINNINGEST BEVO
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Greeting and salutations,
Dear Internet; apologies in advance for my English and any unintended vulgarity; as I am foreign.
A close friend who I have known since childhood was the first of everyone to start getting her period and she grew her boobs BIG before anyone else even got started on theirs, which we all respected a lot and made us look up to her as somewhat of a fountain of knowledge on matters relating to adulthood, which has remained true into our adult lives where she is still considered the knowledgeable one in all such matters, and well-deserved, too, in my opinion, but I suspect that she may be trying to get at me with something. I love my friend dearly, but she is not above playing tricks!
I have recently become engaged to be married; no need to congratulate, but I am very happy of it  My friend says unto me; that even if it is a wife and husband and they are trying to make a baby; that they may find themselves in a situation where the husband may see the butt hole of the wife.  Apologies if this is too crass; but it is the crux of the matter. My friend then places herself in the sex-position that I know of through general cultural osmosis; the most famous one, I think; probably everyone here knows of it already; the one where the woman is lying sort of like a crab or a frog and the man is forward-facing, and she points to herself and says; "this is where the pussy is" and I know she is correct and nod politely, but I was somewhat taken aback, because although she was wearing clothes and simply doing a demonstration for my benefit, I thought it was improper of her to say exactly where the pussy was, despite both of us knowing fulll well, and before I know of it, my friend then says "and this is where the butt hole is", which I did not have time to think about; I just agreed, but in hindsight she could have been off by a little bit; enough for it to be important, I feel, but I was blindsided and agreed without thinking it over.
With no warning my friend spins around and shows unto me what she claims is a different sex position that people use and asks me where I think that the pussy is now? Things are moving quickly and I point towards an area which she seems to accept as accurate enough and she then follows up instantly by asking me where I think the butt hole is now? To be honest she had me on the ropes even before she spun around. I know from dancing that girls and women can spin around and be spun around easily; it is great fun, but guys, boys and men are more forward-facing, is my impression. Boys and girls are not too different at younger ages, I think, but the differences happen later in life when men lose mobility because they turn very blocky in structure, like LEGO minifigs, so they can't turn around easily even if they want. You can tell this when some of them try to dance outside of dancing lessons, where a lot of them stand still and bop their heads. You may think they are standing still and bopping their heads because they are carrying a drink and do not want to spill it and would perhaps dance very well if they were to put down their drink and spin around more freely, but the fact of the matter is that men are blocky and generally face in one direction at a time only, whereas girls retain the ability to spin and be spun around throughout life as women. My point is that I suppose it is plausible that women may spin or be spun in other situations than dancing, and perhaps in certain intimate circumstance, this makes the butt hole visible to a husband who is facing forwards, even if not intended or needed in order to create a life.
Sorry for the lack of direct questions; just trying to work some things out. Generaly speaking, it seems sad in a way that men are so blocky, but it also feels somewhat unreasonable how the pussy and the butt hole are placed if women are intended to spin and be spun; it seems like it might be more aesthetically pleasing and more structurally sound if there was more spacing.
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Feb 10, 2019 21:00
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Mar 18, 2016 19:21
