nomadologique posted:

"mm yes i'm just going to pop this package of circus peanuts open and have one. mm. i like how they melt in your mouth. well that's enough for now. there's always tomorrow!"

Owlofcreamcheese posted:

Do you really think no one anywhere owns two bunkers? Batman has a whole bunker cave under his house and he still has like 8 billion bunkers and safehouses and extra cars and suits seemingly in every single building in gotham. It's not really a plot hole that you dislike the number of bunkers a guy owns and think he could have made due with just one bunker.

Paladinus posted:

Joementum posted:

I spent most of 2012 telling people that Nate's proprietary polling model was needlessly complex and overstated Obama's lead.

Rappaport posted:

I thought you spent most of 2012 deleting anime bestiality posts? Or was that not the time you were a mod?

Joementum posted:

That happened in 2013

Moon Slayer posted:

Holy poo poo this had me laughing harder than that time somebody kept accidentally posting his workout log in an abortion debate thread over and over.

Quorum posted:

The south is a massive overlapping clusterfuck of definitions, so if you put it on the map it looks like a deep red core in Alabama and Mississippi with Southiness radiating outward in a kind of yokel halo as far as Missouri, Kentucky, and Virginia.

Winkie01 posted:

https://twitter.com/ThisWeekABC/status/689165531857989632

Zelder posted:

Chris Christie starts, finishes beef

paranoid randroid posted:

iirc palin did fairly well as mayor of wasilla, but then again being the mayor of an alaskan town is such a low impact position that there are cats who have been elected to multiple terms

Obeah posted:

When I was working as a graphic designer for PAWS Inc. (SE Asian Market) in Muncie, Indiana, I got stuck in what I can only describe as a triplex apartment between a group of BSU students and an elderly, mentally handicapped man who would tell us all about how he was the last person in his assistance program to still have a helper monkey. Apparently they've mostly been phased out or something?

Anyway, the kids who lived next to me in the triplex were obsessed with seeing this grandfathered capuchin and seemed to be split 50-50 on believing it even existed. I'd been there six months, the students almost a year, and none of us had seen or heard this thing in person. Kenneth - the old man - would stand on his end of the house and "water the grass", which really just amounted to chain smoking and hosing his corner of the lawn down. Anytime any of us went outside while he was doing this, he'd yell conversation to us. "Esquire (the monkey) turned off the TV during Final Jeopardy last night. I got so mad..." and "I caught Esquire eating out of the trash again. Such a pain in my rear end." It was nonstop during the summer months.

So at the end of August, I was helping Kenneth with some legitimate yard work. He asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner, and even though Esquire did not come up in the invitation at all, he was my first thought. A chance to confirm this creature's existence. I jumped at the opportunity.

So that night, I have the worst meal of my life. Reheated spaghetti eaten out of Tupperware. No conversation. Just the sounds of us eating. Feeling weirdly nauseous and wanting to go home, I asked Kenneth where Esquire was.

"In my bedroom. He was acting up earlier. and I didn't want him bothering you during supper."

I should have accepted this, but I pressed on, saying I was full and just wanted to meet him before going home. At this point, Kenneth stood up, walked to his bedroom, slammed the door shut, and was in there for maybe five minutes or so. I was about to leave when he came out.

"He's about to bedtime out, but you can see him before you leave."

Here's my memory of that encounter, as filtered through my PTSD (semi-serious here - I could get diagnosed for sure):

Sock monkey sitting in a wicker chair next to a bed. Withered Cracker Barrel price tag still hanging off. White areas of the monkey stained with nicotine. A hole cut in between the legs. Kenneth behind me. The sinking feeling as I realize his hard cock (still in pants, though) is pressed against my back. I forget the exact words, but he did ask me to touch Esquire, so I half heartedly petted it and he slapped the back of my head. Whispered to me "F-fingerblast this little turd." That part I remember perfectly. And I did.

I won't dwell on the rest of the encounter. Suffice to say that it was a bad night for me, and finishing out that lease was hell. I don't regret anything but accepting the dinner invitation. Had I not become finger intimate with Esquire, he very well could have stabbed me. He'd been collecting knives since Vietnam. I noticed several pocket knives on a drawer in the bedroom alone. This was a scary dude, and it's hard to blame myself for it. But anyway, I ended up getting let go from my dream job right before the end of the lease, so obviously I didn't stick around for long.

All of this is just a roundabout way of saying that you should really, really be careful around this neighbor of yours. What seems and reads as funny on SA or to your friends can be a life threatening, terrifying experience irl.

Louisgod posted:

Why are all the poo poo states with poo poo people the ones that decide this crap, what good has SC, IA, NH and whatever loving reject state nobody talks about unless something racist happens or if a bunch of white people come together to yell TRUMP at each other and yes that's a question, gently caress off

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Karate Bastard posted:

They come in... triple packs? Someone really needs to get their cram on.

Mucilaginous posted:

People have moved way past feeling sorry for you. You feel sorry for a child who touches a stove; if he then proceeds to hold his hand to the burner because the stove might not like it if he stops burning himself...

Peachstapler posted:

I just read that Rubio stated at today's rally that he will get rid of mosquitos "once and for all".

neonnoodle posted:

Well yeah that's spanish for mosque

Joementum posted:

I'm pretty mad that I was constantly busy all day on the day when we got a press release titled "Donald J. Trump's Response to the Pope".

Top Bunk Wanker posted:

If there was a Jeb Bush gay scandal and he tried to explain it by saying he just accidentally tripped and fell mouth first on a guy's dick, I would have no problem believing that was what actually happened.

Ratspeaker posted:

I honestly, sincerely thought Jeb was going to pull a Budd Dwyer while he was up on stage. I was on the edge of my seat, wondering if I was going to watch a man die. Why else would his speech be so fatalistic? Why else would he have bought that gun?? This thread has gotten to me.

Aliquid posted:

chekhov fuckin' pissed rn

Ratspeaker posted:

I honestly, sincerely thought Jeb was going to pull a Budd Dwyer while he was up on stage. I was on the edge of my seat, wondering if I was going to watch a man die. Why else would his speech be so fatalistic? Why else would he have bought that gun?? This thread has gotten to me.

Aliquid posted:

chekhov fuckin' pissed rn

GottaPayDaTrollToll posted:

And so, the curse of Bush's brain strikes once again.

Mojo Threepwood posted:

The Trump Truck looks like something you could spawn with a cheat code in Age of Empires I.

RaceBannon posted:

This teen I saw at Target was wearing super tight pants, short little pointed toe boots, a vest and a shapeless knit hat the other day. He was kicking doors and cursing loudly (trying to act like a badass?) but I kept thinking drat that kid is dressed like an elf.

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Jeb was the character they kill off with three episodes left in a 13 episode season to let you know that poo poo has gotten real.
Scott Walker was the guy who you think is going to be the main character until they kill him off 3/4ths through the pilot.
Ben Carson was supposed to be an extra but is sleeping with the executive producer and the writers have no way to justify his presence.

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

that's the only way to apply the Golden Ratio in any way that aligns with reality, yeah, but most folks still see it as some kind of big artistic secret.

It also looks good to space things a LOT of other ways. There's even evidence that other arrangements are found more aesthetically pleasing by more people on average.

Breetai posted:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You're dating your rapist,
He's going to kill you.

Aralan posted:

Going by the OP's posts earlier I'd assume his abusive boyfriend convinced him to agree to getting hit when it's for his own good, and now that he's agreed to it it isn't abuse anymore.

Also it's really sad that the only advice the OP has taken from this thread so far is to watch anime

nachos posted:

I haven't watched any of this so far and apparently there are dick jokes and Ted Cruz ate a booger??

GrimGypsy posted:

A lot of gamergatey types genuinely support Trump because they think he'll bring back the face touching thing in fire emblem

boom boom boom posted:

Awhile back I was talking to people and somehow the topic of Pokemon tattoos came up. I came to the conclusion that if I absolutely had to get a Pokemon tattoo, it would be a full backpiece of the deer with rainbow antlers, and the spaces between it's antlers would be filled with scenes from GLBT history drawn in a yaoi style, so I guess that one's my favorite cause it's the only one I've given serious thought to in the past decade

Trig Discipline posted:

Wow, I must actually be really thin and handsome then.

RareAcumen posted:

uptown posted:

Obviously this is STDH, and I'm quoting from 7 pages ago since I'm not caught up on the thread, so forgive me if I've been beaten.

Based on the small portions of food, the way the plates look, and the window pattern next to the woman in this picture, I am 99% sure this photo was taken at the Wicked Spoon Buffet in Las Vegas, and at Vegas buffets, you pay upon entry.

Source: I really like this buffet.

cash crab posted:

I love that you're like Sherlock, but for buffets

Syd Midnight posted:

They've got special medical terms for when someone is really, really dead as opposed to just dead. The best one I heard was "complete bodily disruption" but there's probably better.

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

Want so see some real incompetent poo poo? The family tree of the Counts of Tusculum:



The Wikipedia editor in charge of this nonsense forgot to include Pope Benedict VII, nephew of Alberic II. Great work

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Any family tree with a square in it is bad news.

But what the gently caress is up with Teophylact II? He just kinda had a kid by himself? There's not even a question mark there, like good 'ol Teophylact II gave birth solo.

King Hong Kong posted:

That is nothing. Guy of Tuscany had two gay remarriages and gave birth by himself but of course it was Marozia who got the bad reputation.

paranoid randroid posted:

if trump gets much stronger hes gonna overflow his favorability numbers to a negative integer and crash the country

paranoid randroid posted:

negative two people have a positive opinion of Donald Trump and suddenly the skybox has been replaced with a brick wall texture and dogs recite canned NPC dialog instead of barking

theflyingorc posted:

i don't think the average black man makes 50 separate SA accounts

Hogge Wild posted:

can someone link the "fingerbang that turd" post

Obeah posted:

When I was working as a graphic designer for PAWS Inc. (SE Asian Market) in Muncie, Indiana, I got stuck in what I can only describe as a triplex apartment between a group of BSU students and an elderly, mentally handicapped man who would tell us all about how he was the last person in his assistance program to still have a helper monkey. Apparently they've mostly been phased out or something?

Anyway, the kids who lived next to me in the triplex were obsessed with seeing this grandfathered capuchin and seemed to be split 50-50 on believing it even existed. I'd been there six months, the students almost a year, and none of us had seen or heard this thing in person. Kenneth - the old man - would stand on his end of the house and "water the grass", which really just amounted to chain smoking and hosing his corner of the lawn down. Anytime any of us went outside while he was doing this, he'd yell conversation to us. "Esquire (the monkey) turned off the TV during Final Jeopardy last night. I got so mad..." and "I caught Esquire eating out of the trash again. Such a pain in my rear end." It was nonstop during the summer months.

So at the end of August, I was helping Kenneth with some legitimate yard work. He asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner, and even though Esquire did not come up in the invitation at all, he was my first thought. A chance to confirm this creature's existence. I jumped at the opportunity.

So that night, I have the worst meal of my life. Reheated spaghetti eaten out of Tupperware. No conversation. Just the sounds of us eating. Feeling weirdly nauseous and wanting to go home, I asked Kenneth where Esquire was.

"In my bedroom. He was acting up earlier. and I didn't want him bothering you during supper."

I should have accepted this, but I pressed on, saying I was full and just wanted to meet him before going home. At this point, Kenneth stood up, walked to his bedroom, slammed the door shut, and was in there for maybe five minutes or so. I was about to leave when he came out.

"He's about to bedtime out, but you can see him before you leave."

Here's my memory of that encounter, as filtered through my PTSD (semi-serious here - I could get diagnosed for sure):

Sock monkey sitting in a wicker chair next to a bed. Withered Cracker Barrel price tag still hanging off. White areas of the monkey stained with nicotine. A hole cut in between the legs. Kenneth behind me. The sinking feeling as I realize his hard cock (still in pants, though) is pressed against my back. I forget the exact words, but he did ask me to touch Esquire, so I half heartedly petted it and he slapped the back of my head. Whispered to me "F-fingerblast this little turd." That part I remember perfectly. And I did.

I won't dwell on the rest of the encounter. Suffice to say that it was a bad night for me, and finishing out that lease was hell. I don't regret anything but accepting the dinner invitation. Had I not become finger intimate with Esquire, he very well could have stabbed me. He'd been collecting knives since Vietnam. I noticed several pocket knives on a drawer in the bedroom alone. This was a scary dude, and it's hard to blame myself for it. But anyway, I ended up getting let go from my dream job right before the end of the lease, so obviously I didn't stick around for long.

All of this is just a roundabout way of saying that you should really, really be careful around this neighbor of yours. What seems and reads as funny on SA or to your friends can be a life threatening, terrifying experience irl.

Pick posted:

PenguinKnight posted:

seems a little early and presumptive to start making movies about Trump's presidency

PBS Newshour posted:

CD is actually pretty good and funny, Bee Movie thread was an all time great one and deserved to be in the goldmine but was robbed.