PYF Stupid Food Fad: home of the world's best small pastry

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Stupid Food Fad: home of the world's best small pastry

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Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Scathach posted:

I hate food being served on weird things. Use a plate, dumbasses.

There's a whole website for these: http://wewantplates.com/

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 12:48

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:47

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Bonster posted:

I keep looking at these not-plates and wondering how the hell they can be sanitized. The clipboard would have to be pitched after one use, and I can't imagine the matryoshka doll surviving a good hot water wash. Shoes are definitely not made to be washed. How do you clean them for the next customer?

Yeah, some of them are definitely outright unsanitary and wouldn't make it through basic sanitation control. Like how exactly do you clean a tennis racket for restaurant use? The strings go through holes in the frame and there's no way to clean the inside of the frame so it's a bacterial incubator in there when regularly used and the sanwiches touch all of that poo poo.

Also:

Bon App�tit!

Palpek fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Apr 2, 2016

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 16:17

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Yeah even a deconstructivist restaurant won't give you whole gloves of raw garlic or a separate bowl with a whole lime and then another one with a quartered lime.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 20:33

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Scathach posted:

Okay, trends-- have we talked about bacon everything yet? Yeah bacon is great but it doesn't need to be in every meal plus dessert.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 23:54

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

"Life hacks" for food products (ok, not all of them but still):

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 23:13

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Say Nothing posted:

All that 'healthy' eating to look like a skinny-fat nerd.

Also given that tryhard menu (loving emu meatballs) that he probably spent hours compiling Pete got pretty much rekt there by the expert. And he was such a good boy.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 14:29

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

This isn't food but there's no other place to post this and it fits the philosophy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRlBtabKRFM

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 20:34

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Inspector Gesicht posted:

Yes, it's an April 1st video but Poe's Law and all.

Dude, I'm not saying it's real, the video itself is pretty clear about it.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 21:56

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Marenghi posted:

Does this mean we're at the high tide of "artisanal" products?
They're much reach a point when too many mass-market companies are either pretending their stuff is artisanal or making fun of the artisanal crowd.

I mean it's getting pretty ridiculous when McDonald's start making "artisanal" food. They tried release one here called the McM�r, M�r being Irish for big, with local although mass produced ingredients like Ballymaloe Relish and Charleville Cheese. They had to remove the word artisan from it as that is a protected term for products made in limited quantities by skilled craftsmen on a not fully mechanised process.

This opens a new chapter of artisanal fast food/supermarket products (lol):

Burger King Artisan Bun

Dunkin� Donuts� Artisanal Bagels

Domino�s Artisan Pizza

Sargento Artisan Cheese

Tostitos Artisan Recipes

WeightWatchers artisanal microwave meals

All lovingly hand-crafted in the factory (a hand had to push a button).

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 16:50

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Maggie Fletcher posted:

CUCUMBER WATER FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY

This goon knows what's up.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 08:53

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Marenghi posted:

Google artisan honey and read up on some stupid poo poo. Apparently artisan honey comes in varietal and mono-floral products, depending on whether the bees harvested from a single or blend of flowers. Now I'm no bee expert but they're not exactly controllable are they. How do these people know what flowers in the region they are selecting to collect pollen from. Outside of keeping a bee-hive in a green house with only selected plants can you really say exactly what flowers were used in the honey making process.

Uhhh, yes, yes they can, controlling what bees make honey from is like one of the staples of the honey industry. What you're doing here is being ignorant about actual knowledge behind a trade.

I won't defend asking some crazy money for a jar of magical honey but a smaller local honey manufacturer will absolutely offer a flavor that big companies can't achieve because they mix honey from different sources to have a consistent never-changing taste.

I really hope this thread doesn't devolve into 'why buy actually good quality local meat/cheese/honey when you can just go to Walmart' because that's just stupid.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 11:21

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Scathach posted:

Artisan Oreos-- just as unhealthy as the regular ones, except they probably cost 4x as much.

Recreating junk food using 'artisanal' methods is definitely hilarious to me:

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 12:54

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Gridlocked posted:

Is that meat in there?

I admit that I thought this is a joke and that it's just some strawberry mousse but then I found the source and yes, there's meat in this snickers:

But wait, there's more, always read the title at the bottom first:

Palpek fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Apr 11, 2016

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 18:55

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

*specifically states that the hand-made fritos were made from non-gmo corn*

*uses foie gras in a loving artisanal chipwich*

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 18:59

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

It's a nice touch that Flamin' Hot Cheetos are literally slices of fat mixed with pig ears which were my dog's favorite snack.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 19:09

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

tomstuart posted:

im new to the thread so it may have been talkeda bout but i really hate putting duck fat or truffle oil on everything like its some kind of cure all for lame food

seriously

i dont need truffle oil on my peanut butter sandwich and i think it was a bit unnecessary to fry that okra in duck fat

Yeah, when I read through those pics at first it was like a deconstructive artisanal bingo:

bacon as a 'surprise' flavor - ✓
stating origins of meat - ✓
non-gmo - ✓
coloring food black - ✓
something is charred - ✓
something is edible - ✓
foie gras - double ✓
kale - motherfuckig ✓

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 19:25

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 19:45

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

It's like burgers in Europe before the artisanal burger places started opening up everyhwere - people really didn't understand how to make a good burger. Pulled pork in places where it doesn't originate from more often than not tends to be bad.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 21:31

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

ranbo das posted:

Weird that something that is such a staple in the US is just now making it to Europe.

Pulled pork is amazing when done correctly.

I'm still waiting for Philly Cheesesteak to even get here.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 21:40

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Oh my

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 23:11

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My Lovely Horse posted:

There's some decent food to be had there at least but I've only ever found two places that really do Mexican, and they're both tiny hole-in-the-wall joints in Berlin.

Was it Dolores by any chance? If not then I'd appreciate a name because I'll be visiting Berlin soon.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2016 09:56

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My Lovely Horse posted:

Chaparro in Kreuzberg and Neta on Sch�nhauser Allee. Dolores sounds alright though.

They both only do tortilla-based stuff but I'm reliably told Chaparro is very authentic and Neta's food is very similar. Leaps and bounds above the usual fare, anyway.

Thanks, I'm always on the lookout for a good dining place in Berlin. Dolores has really good buritos.

Oh yeah, Good luck finding good buritos in Germany.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2016 10:46

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2016 15:50

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Rollersnake posted:

Bought this the other day like the complete shmuck that I am. It tastes like... Pepsi.

Oh poo poo, yeah - at first the artisanal coke trend was a cool distraction but the current oversaturation of those products is ridiculous and they range from tasting like medicine to being no different than those dirt-cheap lovely knock-offs.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 15:01

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

The Banana Bunker
http://bananabunker.com/

Reminds me of:

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 15:38

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Rollersnake posted:

Bought this the other day like the complete shmuck that I am. It tastes like... Pepsi.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 19:17

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Aesop Poprock posted:

You have had some extremely poorly prepared pork belly, cause if it's good it's outwardly crispy and fatty and extremely flavorable. Same with pork tails, which are like the most delicious pork flavored chicken wings I've ever eaten.

Also the not-crispy kind in the form of chashu. Well made chashu is incredible and melts on your tongue.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 00:38

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I love grilled sushi.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 09:36

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I also base my ideas about whole continents on youtube comments.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2016 12:21

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Instant Jellyfish posted:

Can't decide on what tea to drink? Try 7 layered tea! The guy is working on a 10 layer version too. Each layer is a different flavor and he uses different types of black and green teas grown nearby.

What about layered kale smoothies?

Also I guess I lead my life in jars now:

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 12:04

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

NESguerilla posted:

I feel like I understand even the dumbest poo poo in this thread in some sort of abstract way, but rainbow grilled cheese is totally beyond me.

It's not even visible when you don't tear the sandwich like that. And when you do tear it like that you have melting candy all over your fingers.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2016 07:37

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Have some more, these are from UK, US and Mexico:

Also here's a menu from one of them:

It's basically the next logical step in the 'woah, how unhealthy and disgusting our food is, loving dirty burgers amirite - eat from a dog bowl you piece of poo poo'. Next year they'll be just throwing it all on the floor.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 18:34

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Another trend that is funny/sad are the various channels that tried to be the next big thing in viral cooking so you get edited videos with voice-overs of "recipes" like Coke float that need 2 products:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2miVfSMg4iQ

You can see a new wave of these now that Tasty became a thing. It's hilarious.

# ¿ May 6, 2016 21:56

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Apparently this is how some place serves ceasar salad:

# ¿ May 7, 2016 08:37

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Tiberius Thyben posted:

According to the wiki article, at least, the daughter of the inventor of the Caesar salad served it like that.

Not that it isn't kinda dumb.

It's that trend where people fall head over heels for things that are 'the way they originally were' as if everything was originally better. Newsflash - most things were made better with years of improvements coming little by little from different sources.

I mean, one of the places claiming to have originated the hamburger serves it with toast bread and forbids to use sauces. It's actually cool to have an old place serving them like that but if suddenly restaurants start putting overcooked patties between soggy pieces of toast and lock the cupboards with ketchup for the sake of it being the better original then gently caress them.

# ¿ May 7, 2016 09:25

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

-S- posted:

No. The restaurant asks him to come help them, so he does and then they refuse to take his help and he screams at them, then they cry, then he fixes it and then 3 months later they go back to doing the poo poo he told them not to do, then they go out of business

In most cases it doesn't even matter if they do what he asks or not, most of those restaurants were doomed anyway. It's business, Ramsey can't make miracles happen, throughout his career he had to close quite a few restaurants of his own. I read somewhere that each and every restaurant from season 2 went out of business.

# ¿ May 7, 2016 20:16

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

# ¿ May 7, 2016 22:54

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Marenghi posted:

Actually that's another trend that annoys me I keep seeing on Facebook. Recipes that seem ridiculously unhealthy which involve mixed ready to eat junk food into a standard recipe and pretending like they re-invented the wheel.

Recent examples I've seen are fried chicken made with crushed doritos in place of seasoning and breadcrumbs. Nutella also seems to be popular among those types of recipes. I've seen pancake wraps with nutella filling and coated in nutella, or nutella sauce spaghetti. The whole trend is depressing seeing adult women going wild for food a 5 year old would dream up.

Here's one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjfZBks6IvI

It started with a whole pack of cinnamon rolls but it really grabbed me with using frosting before baking and then adding ice-cream. It's like unironic Epic Mealitme in white gloves.

I mean, I get having cravings but gently caress.

# ¿ May 10, 2016 21:22

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

# ¿ May 13, 2016 22:45

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:47

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Mu Zeta posted:

The one on the right is $30 at most.

Yeah, for $200 you can get a full menu at a 3 Michelin star restaurant in New York. That pic borders on trolling.

# ¿ May 17, 2016 09:44

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Stupid Food Fad: home of the world's best small pastry

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