The Planet Builders - open source collaborative fiction [GOON APPROVED]

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The Planet Builders - open source collaborative fiction [GOON APPROVED]

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a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

JOIN THE FUN
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FFEFdlLYflGQT4nmcHPs_ZiJqffILRo3YF_rRlEeplY/edit?usp=sharing

Open source collaborating speculative fiction project
GOON APPROVED!

Welcome to the First ever :siren:

Goon Approved :siren:

LITERARY COLLABORATION.

Join us as we create the next great american Science Fiction Novel.

We use the power of GOOGLE DOCUMENTS to craft this masterwork! No need for an invitation, just click this link to join the creation! :siren:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FFEFdlLYflGQT4nmcHPs_ZiJqffILRo3YF_rRlEeplY/edit?usp=sharing :siren:

THE PLANET BUILDERS posted:

�Excuse me sir� Said Dirk in a professional tone of voice as he looked at Finford the Dolphin with his steely blue eyes. The blue eyes of Dirk not the blue eyes of Finford. �Steely� was a term that people often used to describe Dirk, not just his eyes, but also his constitution as well. Because he was tough as steel. Which was somewhat of an anachronism because steel had fallen out of use many many years ago because now in the future instead of steel... people use nano-steel.

�Dirk� said Finford in his combination nasally and electronically augmented pitch. Dirk didn�t hear the rest of what he had to say however because he was already ducking into one of the emergency tubes located all over his ship. They provided easy access to anywhere in the craft should the power be compromised or the annoying bureaucrat�s bitch-boys were standing guard inside the regular Esca-elevators. With the aid of his flexing dick and some anti-grav fields Dirk quickly made his way down to the commercial deck, handily avoiding Finford�s cronies, who would never be able to find him once he reached the crowded shopping zone.

�A shopping zone, on board a spacecraft?� you might ask, incredulously. Yes, a shopping zone inside a spacecraft. Dirk�s spaceship helps build planets, which necessitates it being very big to carry all the planet building gear and raw materials. It had a shopping zone and a residential zone and an industrial zone. Zoning was controlled by the zoning board, which Dirk was in charge of.

Dirk�s planet builder was a Planetcorp 6000 Ultra-Construction class spaceship. Its designator number was PC-160 but its nickname was the �Mary Lou� according to the name under the picture of the pin-up girl spacebrushed on the side.

The Mary Lou was a cylinder shape, three miles long and a mile in diameter. The front end was covered in giant arms and cranes and shovels for putting planets together, the back end had rockets on it.

There were over half a million crew on board, so in addition to a shopping mall and movie theaters, there were also swimming pools, circuses, grocery stores, internet humor message boards, and �adults only entertainments� because half a million construction workers need someplace to get rowdy.

Dirk�s favorite bar was the Juicy Goosey. It was kind of seedy, not the place you�d expect a ship�s captain to go, but Dirk wasn�t like other ships� captains. He liked to think of himself as part of the crew because he was a real �down to earth� fella as he might have been called in the days before space travel.

Finished novel will be sold in AMAZON BOOKSTORE and all proceeds will go to planned forum remodel!

a star war betamax fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Oct 11, 2016

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:13

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 23:06

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

OK TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES....having a little trouble getting this google docs going.

a star war betamax fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Nov 2, 2016

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:15

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

yeah

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:17

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Ok i can see the google doc but it wont let me share it....................................... little tech help goons?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:19

scott zoloft: Dec 7, 2015; yeah same

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:20

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:20

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

I volunteer to fill in the hollow deck. Sounds unsafe quite frankly.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:21

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Ok here is the link the the MASTER GOOGLE DOC FILE

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cGjmCTqrO74NKdUJHSkuiFSRsnhx8R7Vs5zbrfaNa60/edit?usp=sharing

please tread carefully this is the only copy

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:21

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

sounds good dawg. im there

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:21

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Enfield posted:

sounds good dawg. im there

Ok you can start on chapter II

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:28

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Ok here is what we got so far and its pretty good; just to wet your appetite.

The Planet Builders posted:

CHAPTER I

The year is 5057, it is the distant future as compared the the time you are in now. In this distant future there are many things that are different for instance people travel all over the galaxy now. It is basically the same as getting a flight from one country to another but now it is between planets!

Another thing that is different is that now people can make their own custom planets. We do this by using a technology called �nanobots�. Nanobots, or �Nanos� as they are called, are tiny machines, these machines, barely visible to the naked eye, are used to create matter, and energy.

The company that builds the planets is called Planet Corp. and it is the largest company the universe has ever known. It is for this company that our man character, Dirk, works. Let�s meet him.

The camera spins around and zooms down into a spiral arm of the galaxy and zooms into a planet and down through a window of a house and right up close to a big flexing bicep.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 00:33

EngineerSean: Feb 9, 2004; by zen death robot

I already got a killer idea for a gay sex scene.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 01:12

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Please keep it pg

# ? Oct 6, 2016 01:19

EngineerSean: Feb 9, 2004; by zen death robot

Trunko reached over and touched his toes, naked and ready for what any goon in the thread had to offer him...

# ? Oct 6, 2016 01:23

Fidel Cuckstro: Jul 2, 2007

Should we be writing in a script format?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 01:57

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

There is a secret technique that can be used to rapidly create arts.

1) make a list of cool or weird sounding names
2) next poster decide what they mean
3) make a quick backstory
4) link them together

Ex: "mushroom hatch"
Poster 2: "it's slang for buttholes"
Poster 3: "they call buttholes that because of the Space Police outlawing butt stuff"
Poster 4: "Dirk flexed his biceps while looking in the mirror. It was early evening and he just got outta the shower. 'somebody's getting hisself a trip thru the mushroom hatch tonight'"

# ? Oct 6, 2016 02:27

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Lemme throw out some possibilities here, get this going a little bit:

Brain Storm
Ultra snail
Hyperzone
Lopers
Outload
Rockpounder
Loop running

Dunno, what'd these mean in the rich lore of the planet builders universe?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 02:47

Bob Ross Nuke Test: Jul 12, 2016; by Games Forum

SniperWoreConverse posted:

Lemme throw out some possibilities here, get this going a little bit:

Brain Storm
Ultra snail
Hyperzone
Lopers
Outload
Rockpounder
Loop running

Dunno, what'd these mean in the rich lore of the planet builders universe?

They're all fantastic slang words for sex and sex related experiences.

Oh man, that wild little 'loper from the brothel on Alpha-9 totally gave me a hypersnail last night. Then we did some Brain Storm and I outloaded in her hyperzone, if you know whatta mean?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 02:52

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Yeah we fuckin get it weaver, you had a good time. Maybe quit being such a goddamn rockpounder and help us run the loving loop?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 05:33

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

trying to get this working but having problems getting adobe readter (acrobat?) to work.

i will get the IT guy at work to fix it tomorrow

# ? Oct 6, 2016 05:59

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Can we put a shout out to dare in it?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 08:09

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Lot of good collaborative content was created during the evening.. But it looks like things got a little... Blue

quote:

a window of a house
and right up close to a big flexing bicep. The bicep is on a dick,
Dirks dick, because dicks have biceps in this far-flung future. The
dick flexes and unflexes, flexes and unflexes, Dirk grunting as his
dick pumps iron. “ Sure wish I was pumping something else” Dirk thinks
to himself, smirking.
The crew is intimidated. The crew of his space-craft. A ship built
for one purpose - to build planets fit for future humans. “Get back
to work!” Dirk shrieks at his lazy crew. Dirk reflected as he patted
his pockets; still full to the brim with space-rubies, “ Ya get what
ya pay for. Speaking of, time to get down to that new brothel on
Alpha-9”. Dirks dick flexes at the thought. ” Awww yeah, somebody’s
getting hisself a trip thru the ol’ mushroom hatch tonight”.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 09:09

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:14

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

I'll post the character sheets later to help get those cration juices flowing....

# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:17

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

CHARACTER GUIDE posted:

CHARACTER GUIDE:

Dirk White:

Age: 32
Height: tall
Eyes: blue
Skin: white

A scientist\warrior from the planet Scyance, a planet that loves science and knowledge, and war. He has been raised from birth to fight for his race. No greater mind was ever born on his planet until he was born and he passed all the tests both mental and physical, to an extent that was so far above everyone else that is was amazing. Very handsome, women swoon for him. But he is very devoted to his work and his work is PLANET BUILDING

Skyblue Blondizo

Age: 27
Height: medium
Eyes: blue
Skin: white

A beautiful scientist from the planet Cryos, a planet of mystical science monks. She fled from her planet because there marriage is illegal and everybody must study all the time but she hasa burning desire to meet...someone�.

Clowny Clurk

Age: 54
Hieght: short\midget
Eyes: blue
Skin: white

Clarkson

Age: 22
Hegight: tall
Eyes: blue
Skin: white

Dirk�s best friend.

FINFORD THE DOLPHIN

Age: 15
Height: 8 feet long
Eyes: blue
Skin: white

# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:29

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

The Planet Builders posted:

General Groineyed

Age 107
Height: tall but crooked
Eyes: brown
Skin: black

The evil leader of the rebellion against planet corp.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:52

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

Did some work to connect chapters 1 and 2. Also fleshed out Finford a bit.

Finford has an electronically high pitched voice (to help him whistle at his dolphin masters) and also it is very nasally because he is a nerd.

Misc. notes.
In the future people get expensive cosmetic surgery to make their genitalia chrome. As a modern girl Skyblue Blondizo has gotten this surgery.

The robots abolished the human ovary before being destroyed in Y3K. All human birth is in Geneto-Tubes now.

Dirk born in year 3000

# ? Oct 6, 2016 16:47

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

somebody add in

Elezar Sulseriphon

Age 169
Height: gracile
Eyes: blue
Skin: green & black stripes

Leader of the mysterious alpha-3 mystery cult? Evil? Good? only time can tell with this unknown faction

# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:21

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

reignofevil posted:

Did some work to connect chapters 1 and 2. Also fleshed out Finford a bit.

Finford has an electronically high pitched voice (to help him whistle at his dolphin masters) and also it is very nasally because he is a nerd.

Misc. notes.
In the future people get expensive cosmetic surgery to make their genitalia chrome. As a modern girl Skyblue Blondizo has gotten this surgery.

The robots abolished the human ovary before being destroyed in Y3K. All human birth is in Geneto-Tubes now.

Dirk born in year 3000

Thank you for your work, it is realy coming togehter now.

THE PLANET BUILDERS posted:

�Excuse me sir� Said Dirk in a professional tone of voice as he looked at Finford the Dolphin with his steely blue eyes. The blue eyes of Dirk not the blue eyes of Finford. �Steely� was a term that people often used to describe Dirk, not just his eyes, but also his constitution as well. Because he was tough as steel. Which was somewhat of an anachronism because steel had fallen out of use many many years ago because now in the future instead of steel... people use nano-steel.

�Dirk� said Finford in his combination nasally and electronically augmented pitch. Dirk didn�t hear the rest of what he had to say however because he was already ducking into one of the emergency tubes located all over his ship. They provided easy access to anywhere in the craft should the power be compromised or the annoying bureaucrat�s bitch-boys were standing guard inside the regular Esca-elevators. With the aid of his flexing dick and some anti-grav fields Dirk quickly made his way down to the commercial deck, handily avoiding Finford�s cronies, who would never be able to find him once he reached the crowded shopping zone.

�A shopping zone, on board a spacecraft?� you might ask, incredulously. Yes, a shopping zone inside a spacecraft. Dirk�s spaceship helps build planets, which necessitates it being very big to carry all the planet building gear and raw materials. It had a shopping zone and a residential zone and an industrial zone. Zoning was controlled by the zoning board, which Dirk was in charge of.

Dirk�s planet builder was a Planetcorp 6000 Ultra-Construction class spaceship. Its designator number was PC-160 but its nickname was the �Mary Lou� according to the name under the picture of the pin-up girl spacebrushed on the side.

The Mary Lou was a cylinder shape, three miles long and a mile in diameter. The front end was covered in giant arms and cranes and shovels for putting planets together, the back end had rockets on it.

There were over half a million crew on board, so in addition to a shopping mall and movie theaters, there were also swimming pools, circuses, grocery stores, internet humor message boards, and �adults only entertainments� because half a million construction workers need someplace to get rowdy.

Dirk�s favorite bar was the Juicy Goosey. It was kind of seedy, not the place you�d expect a ship�s captain to go, but Dirk wasn�t like other ships� captains. He liked to think of himself as part of the crew because he was a real �down to earth� fella as he might have been called in the days before space travel.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:22

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

SniperWoreConverse posted:

somebody add in

Elezar Sulseriphon

Age 169
Height: gracile
Eyes: blue
Skin: green & black stripes

Leader of the mysterious alpha-3 mystery cult? Evil? Good? only time can tell with this unknown faction

DOne. But in the future feel free to "log in" and add it yourself. This is an open source project free for all to "dip there toes into"

# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:24

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Editors note: the finished copy of this work of fiction will be sold on amazon ebooks and all proceeds will go to the something awful fund!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:41

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

Hey goons stop being unfunny in other threads and come build some fiction that will stand the test of time.

Thanks.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:09

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

I agree hole heartedly...

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:20

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

quote:

*A bunch of cool and fun information about galactic spaceflight*
�It's certainly possible that the last seat on a flight at some future date is shown as available on many different places at the same time. If many people try to reserve it, it is certainly possible that the seat might be held by all of them or none of them. This type of multiple-truth problem is not easy to solve with so much latency in the system and can lead to overbooking. Of course spacelines know this and might encourage things to lead to
overbooking but I don't know how easy this is to �encourage�.�
�Wow, I think I got it.� Exclaimed Clowny. �It really makes a lot of sense when you explain it that way!�

Suddenly a general announcement was declared over the nano-comm.

�All crew; this is your captain, Dirk speaking.�

This wasn�t a necessary announcement because Dirk had the respect and admiration of his underpaid workers however they all understood that if he didn�t start like this someone could potentially forget who was in charge.

�We now are about to begin building our planet since we finally got all our I�s crossed and our T�s dotted. Everybody�. Get to stations!�

The crew let out a cheer because they were getting taxed for every minute they spent on the trip and weren�t working and this meant they could finally earn some space-rubies.

okay everybody now we are ready to build the planet someone write about deploying the shovels thanks.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:40

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

reignofevil posted:

okay everybody now we are ready to build the planet someone write about deploying the shovels thanks.

Let's all "dig deep" into our imagination!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:08

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Just passed 5,000 words! Great job fellow colaborators!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:45

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

I'd like to create a planet of butts with an atmosphere of farts

Edit: the surface is covered with butts and they are farting all the time, hence the fartmosphere

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:46

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

What's the paperwork say? Is this a Pleasure Globe? Level 18 Terror World? Hypnozone? Cloud Ocean?

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:33

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

SniperWoreConverse posted:

What's the paperwork say? Is this a Pleasure Globe? Level 18 Terror World? Hypnozone? Cloud Ocean?

That's the beauty of this. What do you think it says?

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:57

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 23:06

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

if it was a terror world, well poo poo, that's gonna be p bad for the orphans isn't it

# ? Oct 7, 2016 01:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The Planet Builders - open source collaborative fiction [GOON APPROVED]

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