Plebian Parasite posted:

my family becoming bloated and irritable after my handmade corncob pipe etsy takes off and they shift to an all corn diet to keep up with demand.

Robot Made of Meat posted:

This may well violate the patent for Hulk Hogan Meat Shoes.

vanisher posted:

Facebook buys YTMND.com for 32 Million, all baby and kid photos are now looped in with short music track

deep dish peat moss posted:

Kid Rock becoming a world-renowned geologist and renaming Earth's mantle the Baw Wit Da Baw Da Bang A Dang Diggy Layer

cda posted:

Sexy Woman Realtor: So, what do you think? 4 bedrooms, 3 and a half baths, hardwood floors throughout, newly furnished... All for under 100K

Me: What, is it some kind of murder house?

Sexy Woman Realtor: *tossing hair back in a way that could be alluring or maybe her hair was just in her face* No, not at all.

Me: I love you so much for finding me this house.

Sexy Woman Realtor: *slight pause* Thanks. That's very nice of you to say.

Me: ... And there's nothing wrong with it? Why's it so cheap?

SWR: _{it's in the Friend Zone.}

Me: I KNEW it! Why didn't you just tell me?

SWR: Look at how you're acting! That's why I didn't tell you.

cda posted:

Piso Mojado posted:

funny things to say on June 9th (6/9 lol)