Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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ChubbyChecker

nut posted:

magicians get famous for picking up a rabbits

lmao

# ¿ Apr 14, 2020 00:46

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:18

ChubbyChecker

tadashi posted:

So there was this contest at a furniture store to be declared "king of the sales force".
The winner keeled over and died when it was announced that he had won with a last second sale of a love seat.
When the EMTs asked the sales manager what happened, all he could say was, "I guess you could call him 'sofa king' excited to win the contest that it killed him."

E: I gotta work on this one but it has good bones.

lol

# ¿ May 10, 2020 17:01

ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

If the Founding Fathers were Founding Dads.

"We just drafted a new document. It's called the Constitution."

"Really? What's it about?"

"It's about four pages."

# ¿ May 24, 2020 07:13

ChubbyChecker

FakeBlood posted:

just the phrase "ipad thai"

used to read spicy posts

# ¿ May 24, 2020 11:10

ChubbyChecker

owlhawk911 posted:

happiness

hah, penis

# ¿ May 27, 2020 19:01

ChubbyChecker

the end of the world but instead of armageddon its darnageddon

# ¿ May 29, 2020 20:31

ChubbyChecker

sassassin; an assassin that just sasses people

# ¿ May 30, 2020 09:29

ChubbyChecker

Goons Are Great posted:

*a voice from beyond a trash can*
Psst, hey, hey, hey you, yes you. Come here. Look at me. Come over here and look at me.

Yeah that's right. Bitch.

# ¿ May 30, 2020 11:27

ChubbyChecker

Finger Prince posted:

The assassin is a creature of shadow. The sassassin is a creature of shade.

# ¿ May 30, 2020 11:51

ChubbyChecker

super sweet best pal posted:

Socratic Method Man convinced me I agreed with the song's message all along.

is it a pro tier username?

# ¿ Jun 19, 2020 10:18

ChubbyChecker

owlhawk911 posted:

a secret forum for sad posts. all the posts you delete cause they're way too sad and would just bum everyone out? they go there, and if anyone ever finds it they have a really sad day. they can't even use it as a secret little forum for their crew because it's just too sad. the saddest forum

lol

# ¿ Jun 19, 2020 11:13

ChubbyChecker

Jaguars! posted:

I'm not sure I can improve on his last name, tbh

[e] But I just spent several minutes trying to decide whether 'Cockblower' works on not

he was based on a real person named cochrane, so cockblower would work

# ¿ Jul 29, 2020 13:12

ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

Car: (gesturing to its windshield) Uh, my eyes are up here.

Me: (still staring at the headlights) I've made my choice.

lmao

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 22:41

ChubbyChecker

Chewbecca posted:

I've got more jokes for The Joke Explainer thread, but I think it's good as it is so I might post them here

link pls

# ¿ Aug 16, 2020 23:15

ChubbyChecker

Chewbecca posted:

The Joke Explainer

# ¿ Aug 16, 2020 23:42

ChubbyChecker

gary oldmans diary posted:

wondering how people who "have their life together" are eating doritos without getting dust all over their shirts since they make such a big deal about me doing it

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 09:13

ChubbyChecker

bluetail posted:

*leprechaun voice* they're always after me dick and balls

# ¿ Aug 28, 2020 19:40

ChubbyChecker

Christoph posted:

Like an atomic wedgie but with different sources of power. So like a coal wedgie would involve sprinkling coal dust on their crack and a wind-powered wedgie would involve fanning their rear end

sprinkling coal dust on crack and fanning the rear end are both sword moves from the wheel of time

# ¿ Aug 28, 2020 19:43

ChubbyChecker

Prof. Crocodile posted:

a child is caught swearing, and when his mom demands to know where he learned such foul language he is reluctant to tell her about the legendary lost episode of sesame street where kermit smacks the cookies out of cookie monster's hands and says: "suck my dick you gently caress man!"

canyoneer posted:

sports radio announcers are on strike, and the stations bring in the morning show shock jock djs with soundboards to call the game instead.

"pop fly to third!" *boy-oy-oy-oy-oing*
"caught by simpson" *homer voice saying d'oh*
"and that makes three. the giants are heading back to the dugout" *toilet flush*

lmao

# ¿ Sep 22, 2020 22:42

ChubbyChecker

Manifisto posted:

grondr - social media for orc dating and hookups

trolls and nazgul also welcome

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

Tindorc

Goblinsonly.com

make the thread

# ¿ Sep 22, 2020 22:42

ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

No no, I said give me everything in the registry, not the register. My friend Pamela's bridal registry, every single item. And keep your hands where I can see 'em, this is still a stickup.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2020 18:38

ChubbyChecker

owlhawk911 posted:

nitrogen narcosis

# ¿ Oct 12, 2020 19:31

ChubbyChecker

Jolo posted:

It's like 10,000 girls when all you need is a cup. It's meeting the man of my dreams and then hearing him shout out "Myyy wiiiife" and isn't it ironic. Don't ya think?

# ¿ Oct 26, 2020 23:50

ChubbyChecker

biosterous posted:

vader: no, I am your father!

luke: hi your father, i'm dad

lmao

# ¿ Dec 4, 2020 12:38

ChubbyChecker

dracula vladdy AF posted:

a weird guy who talks about how good meditation is and how often he meditates, but he thinks that meditation and masturbation are the same thing and is so vague about it that no one ever finds out

"I meditate every day. As soon as I wake up, I grapple with myself until I gain total clarity"

lmao

canyoneer posted:

Make the thread

# ¿ Dec 17, 2020 13:17

ChubbyChecker

nut posted:

no namaste november

haha

# ¿ Dec 17, 2020 15:10

ChubbyChecker

Yinlock posted:

Sir, a COBRA agent had this video on him

Hawk: Put it up on the main screen, this could be a vital clue to their plans

*screen fizzles to life*

Cobra Commander: dear gi joe: suck my nuts

# ¿ Dec 24, 2020 15:19

ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

Stealing an original character but like in a heist movie.

Being lowered from the ceiling through a laser grid toward a glass case containing Jake the Hedgehog, who is a little shy but all the girls like him and also he skateboards and he's half vampire.

lmao

# ¿ Jan 10, 2021 23:57

ChubbyChecker

mailorder bees! posted:

diarrhea is hereditary; it runs in your jeans

# ¿ Jan 11, 2021 13:38

ChubbyChecker

xcheopis posted:

"For the love of God, Leprosor!"

# ¿ Jan 15, 2021 02:04

ChubbyChecker

Prurient Squid posted:

The Fight Club "I had it all" scene where Fincher sets the scene out as a marketing catalogue except it's all anime merch.

magic cactus posted:

I used to flip through catalogues and wonder what kind of funkopop defined me as a person

i've seen an edited gif of american psycho where the guy has a wall full of funko pops, but unfortunately i can't find it

# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 15:16

ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

Parents who post lol the most

lol

# ¿ Jan 25, 2021 00:10

ChubbyChecker

trucknuts but for your monitor

# ¿ Jan 31, 2021 01:51

ChubbyChecker

Call Your Grandma posted:

a skeleton loses at a video game and the other skeleton that he's playing against says "lol bwned"

# ¿ Feb 1, 2021 12:06

ChubbyChecker

Prurient Squid posted:

I had a dream where I was watching a YouTube video of a man debunking the idea of dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden by having a toy dinosaur talk to a toy human in a funny voice and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen and I woke up laughing my arse off.

lmao

# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 18:20

ChubbyChecker

BALLS

# ¿ Feb 23, 2021 15:14

ChubbyChecker

Royal Updog posted:

going full freeman on the land to avoid tipping the bin men at christmas

whats an updog

# ¿ Mar 2, 2021 11:17

ChubbyChecker

Nosfereefer posted:

they say that if you die on the job in retail, you will live in endless peace with rent cut in half, as well as your step dad not being such a jerk

wouldn't that send him to walmarthalla where he fights endless karens

# ¿ Mar 27, 2021 14:58

ChubbyChecker

Ventral EggSac posted:

Dune but Paul Atreides is played by Borat

"My spice!"

i'm a bit behind itt, but fucken lmao

# ¿ Aug 28, 2021 16:53

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:18

ChubbyChecker

Karate Bastard posted:

Watch it, pal I feel is pretty clear, but I'm getting real mixed signals off of gently caress you, buddy.

it's "watch it, pal" with benefits

# ¿ Oct 25, 2021 21:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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