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Cantaloupe
Apr 18, 2009

I'll be the rollinbout


That's up from like a year ago when I only jacking it like 2 times a day. My hypothesis is that it has to do with the lump on my left testicle, like my dick realizes that it is going to die and is desperately trying to pass on its seed before it is too late. Little does it know that my sperm is only being expelled into my hand while I look at anime porn. Let's post about all the cool things our bodies do!

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Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE


It knows, and it is very disappointed in you for it.
That makes it want to die sooner.

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010



how do you do it ,9 time? almoste come but not finis?

Putty
Mar 21, 2013


which animes this time?

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Lawrence Gilchrist posted:

how do you do it ,9 time? almoste come but not finis?

Lol at you

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

MY SHITPOSTING HAS IMPROVED SINCE THE ACCIDENT

Buglord

So are you bragging or complaining?

Cantaloupe
Apr 18, 2009

I'll be the rollinbout


Putty posted:

which animes this time?

I dunno what it's called I don't speak japanese, I just know there's plenty of t 'n' a to hold my attention

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

In a world gone mad,
we will not spank the monkey,
but the monkey will spank us.

Get your hand off it and go see a doctor about the lump before your balls have to be chopped off for real.

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

You'll go blind if you keep that up. Turn your monitor on.

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Cantaloupe posted:

I dunno what it's called I don't speak japanese, I just know there's plenty of t 'n' a to hold my attention

T&A, in this case, meaning tissues and anime

Cantaloupe
Apr 18, 2009

I'll be the rollinbout


BigBadSteve posted:

Get your hand off it and go see a doctor about the lump before your balls have to be chopped off for real.

I should stop rubbing my balls so I can pay some old man to rub my balls for me? If you're into that I guess...

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


op you may be suffering from a condition known as 'low T'

Cantaloupe
Apr 18, 2009

I'll be the rollinbout


The last time I had my penis medically examined it was a young muslim women, and I felt very guilty for tainting her like that

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001



Cantaloupe posted:

The last time I had my penis medically examined it was a young muslim women, and I felt very guilty for tainting her like that

I wouldn't

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Cantaloupe posted:

The last time I had my penis medically examined it was a young muslim women, and I felt very guilty for tainting her like that

Lol you said taint

DeadBlack
Sep 10, 2011



I've been jerking off 8 dudes, 9 times a day

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017


DeadBlack posted:

I've been jerking off 8 dudes, 9 times a day

If you dock them together, you can maybe double the amount of men you're jacking off.

I think Silicon Valley had an episode where they worked the metrics of that approach.

spudsbuckley
Aug 29, 2008

Asuka did this to me. Good job. Great signing.

OP, the jerk store called, and you're running out of them. or something

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.


DeadBlack posted:

I've been jerking off 8 dudes, 9 times a day

I'm gonna need you to get your numbers up. It's crunch time around here, and Corporate isn't playing games.

CountryMatters
Apr 8, 2009

IT KEEPS HAPPENING


lol what a lightweight

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

Girl you know you gotta watch your health


I don't even enjoy it if I jerk off three times in a day, and really if I do it twice the second time isn't that great either

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.


Zorodius posted:

I'm gonna need you to get your numbers up. It's crunch time around here, and Corporate isn't playing games.

I mean, Steve is pulling 6 or 7 DPH, easy. Now, those are numbers that Corporate likes to hear. Wave hello, Steve! See that? Sticky hands - great stuff, good hustle. And he's an intern, we're not even paying him.

carp supreme
Mar 17, 2007



sounds like you are growing stronger. congratulations

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



ZMA supplement for huge ropey loads

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011



where are you saving all your cum OP?

Les Os
Mar 28, 2010


wait but is each jerk an hour long? cause then you really do work from home

frogge
Apr 7, 2006



No one's asked this hard, hitting question:

How has it affected the volume of your loads? Are you blasting dust by the time you hit no. 9 out of the 'bating cage?

fruit on the bottom
Oct 15, 2012



frogge posted:

No one's asked this hard, hitting question:

How has it affected the volume of your loads? Are you blasting dust by the time you hit no. 9 out of the 'bating cage?

It's just a little white surrender flag.

ProfessorMurder
Aug 27, 2003

I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

frogge posted:

No one's asked this hard, hitting question:

How has it affected the volume of your loads? Are you blasting dust by the time you hit no. 9 out of the 'bating cage?

They're called 'ghost loads'.

Les Os
Mar 28, 2010


stay safe load ghost

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008

Paid for by the silent majority


Grimey Drawer

if you're gay you can tell how people jerk off by how they jerk you off and sometimes it's super weird. I don't want my pud pounded down into my balls how the hell do you get off to that

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



look at this butt

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

expect attention, newbie


Gaunab posted:

look at this butt



The back of her knee has an abnormal amount of lines. Would not!

fruit on the bottom
Oct 15, 2012



Kneesolabial folds

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

erhecktile disfunction

Lipstick Apathy

lightweight

Secular Humanist
Mar 1, 2016

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

gross leg muscles no thanks

SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007



i have found that if you stop being so hungover you could probably cut your jerk factor down by a factor of 4 easy

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


How many tugs before it counts as a jerk off

Cause I feel like 4-5 tugs is just maintenance

Jeff Sichoe
Apr 21, 2004


one tip nerds

if you jack off that much now when u finaly get to touch up a chick you'll either

a: come to soon

b: not be able to come at all

c: lol limp dick

sooo yeah just try and keep it to once a day, in the evening

also if you hold in your cum (no morning wank) you'll be extra horny and rarked up and more likely to talk to actual women in real life because your balls will be like comon man I gotta get loose here

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Sue Eastside
Sep 1, 2014

Tell me (tell me),
How to be (how to be)


It's an ingrown hair; lance it and stop touching yourself, idiot.

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