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GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer
i live alone in a small awful apartment that doesn't allow pets. maybe if i can find some snails i can keep them as friends in a tiny plastic terrarium i bought from petsmart. i remember finding all sorts of aquatic snails in small streams as a kid in minnesota but i'm now in SW wisconson. were should i look to find land snails

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communist kangaroo
Oct 2, 2006

those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, i have koalas.
Petco has hermit crabs op

Lord Decimus Barnacle
Jun 25, 2005


Hell Gem
I have a walstad bowl with a nerite snail. Plus it has lots of neat water plants and pretty much no maintenance.

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer

communist kangaroo posted:

Petco has hermit crabs op
yeah want to care for an animal that is biologically attuned to be more manically depressive than i am. oh here is your daily dose of awful pellets Leonardo Da Pinchy. Smell like dead fish just how you like them

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
I have snails in my yard OP never really considered them for a pet ? Best of luck to you

Applesnots
Oct 22, 2010

MERRY YOBMAS

Get one of these OP, about the size of a snotty puppy

http://imgur.com/gallery/4zrqd

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Get a flail snail

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
pro nope: snails are loud as all gently caress, they WILL keep you up

not worth it no matter how adorable they are

yoloer420
May 19, 2006
Get some lizards imo

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
find a frenchman and check his fridge

Stryder
Oct 3, 2002
Why don't you pick some up in Florida?

EDIT: vvv Yeah, get one of those, too! vvv

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

by Lowtax
Rats are good apartment pets, they're pretty much silent and they can eat just about anything and they actually have personalities and can show affection.

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
bed bugs are real easy to care for, OP

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

AEMINAL posted:

bed bugs are real easy to care for, OP

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer

yoloer420 posted:

Get some lizards imo
i live in the northern midwest so reptiles aren't exactly free range critters around here. plus you have to feed those things bugs and poo poo

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


GUYS STOP posted:

i live in the northern midwest so reptiles aren't exactly free range critters around here. plus you have to feed those things bugs and poo poo

Jesus christ, you don't seem like a good pet owning type.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Get a snake, you can feed it a frozen mouse a couple times a month and not care about it.

Desert Bus
May 9, 2004

Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.
Land snails are oddly hard to find in the pet trade. I'd recommend fresh water snails, probably one of the varieties of Nerite Snails (Spiked Zebra Nerites are my favorite), or Japanese Trapdoor Snails. Mystery Snails create a LOT of waste and Rabbit Snails/Chopstick Snails/Malaysian Trumpet Snails/Black Devil Spike Snails/Assassin Snails tend to burrow. Most decent places that sell aquarium fish should have some sort of Nerites in stock.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
you should get an eagle

Rasta_Al
Jul 14, 2001

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Fun Shoe
Goin for the rear end snails huh? Nothin quite tops the feel of a bunch of snails in your rear end

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Rasta_Al posted:

Goin for the rear end snails huh? Nothin quite tops the feel of a bunch of snails in your rear end

i bet its like a massage from the inside out. id love to try it

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Get a snake, you can feed it a frozen mouse a couple times a month and not care about it.

I used to have a garter snake and i just fed him bait minnows. you don't normally think snakes eat fish but he would deep-throat those bastards like he was on a webcam for pay.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Desert Bus posted:

Land snails are oddly hard to find in the pet trade. I'd recommend fresh water snails, probably one of the varieties of Nerite Snails (Spiked Zebra Nerites are my favorite), or Japanese Trapdoor Snails. Mystery Snails create a LOT of waste and Rabbit Snails/Chopstick Snails/Malaysian Trumpet Snails/Black Devil Spike Snails/Assassin Snails tend to burrow. Most decent places that sell aquarium fish should have some sort of Nerites in stock.

When I had mystery snails they'd constantly gently caress & climb out of the tank & lay eggs & the babies would climb back in but I had to constantly shepherd them or they'd get lost.

Rasta_Al
Jul 14, 2001

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Fun Shoe

Orkin Mang posted:

i bet its like a massage from the inside out. id love to try it

The shells clack in your colon & it is quite comforting

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica

Guy Mann posted:

Rats are good apartment pets, they're pretty much silent and they can eat just about anything and they actually have personalities and can show affection.

Rats can't control their bladders so they just randomly dribble piss all the time so I place them under "weird people" pets, I mean if you're ok with rat piss everywhere I hear they're p affectionate but to me normal person they're gross af

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
There are big snails in my back yard OP. Check this one out drinking from a bowl:

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
I bet that guy parties

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère
College Slice
here's a PET IDEA

Punch
Every
Titty

It's
Deliriously
Engaging/
Arousing

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer

yeah I eat rear end posted:

There are big snails in my back yard OP. Check this one out drinking from a bowl:



holy cripes i spent all afternoon looking under rocks for snails. I'll give you $10 (sa certs, paypal) if you can Ziploc and mail that handsome bastard to me. you'll probably want to chuck an ice cube in with it so it doesn't come out of torpor in the post. PM me for deets pls.

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère
College Slice
$10 per? pm me your address

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
I don't think he would survive the trip from germany. Plus i dont think he even speaks english i couldn't get an answer out of him.

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf

Desert Bus posted:

Land snails are oddly hard to find in the pet trade. I'd recommend fresh water snails, probably one of the varieties of Nerite Snails (Spiked Zebra Nerites are my favorite), or Japanese Trapdoor Snails. Mystery Snails create a LOT of waste and Rabbit Snails/Chopstick Snails/Malaysian Trumpet Snails/Black Devil Spike Snails/Assassin Snails tend to burrow. Most decent places that sell aquarium fish should have some sort of Nerites in stock.

get the gently caress outta here with your actual helpful advice!

*raises fist and jabs it, chasing Desert Bus out of the thread*

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf

yeah I eat rear end posted:

There are big snails in my back yard OP. Check this one out drinking from a bowl:



holy heck thats one dope-rear end snail...!!!!

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer
International shipping is harsh and expensive. Still it would be a fun story. Yes Mr. Bond we ordered these snails all the way from... GERMANY

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
tthey make the best snails in germany, i once bought a chinese bootleg snail and it just hissed and vibrated when it saw me until it died from sheer terror or something

german snails purr along for years like the micron tolerance well oiled sneils they are! Only buy german snals

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer

AEMINAL posted:

tthey make the best snails in germany, i once bought a chinese bootleg snail and it just hissed and vibrated when it saw me until it died from sheer terror or something

german snails purr along for years like the micron tolerance well oiled sneils they are! Only buy german snals

if i can get my hands on some real german snails I expect them to eventually build me a BMW automobile of the year of their choosing. sure the handbrake is going to be covered in snail goop but i bet the AC and cruise control run perfectly fine after the techs vacuum the evolution goop into a manageable and sustainable bag+

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf

GUYS STOP posted:

if i can get my hands on some real german snails I expect them to eventually build me a BMW automobile of the year of their choosing. sure the handbrake is going to be covered in snail goop but i bet the AC and cruise control run perfectly fine after the techs vacuum the evolution goop into a manageable and sustainable bag+

Nice snails,

Rasta_Al
Jul 14, 2001

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Fun Shoe
Ya got snail goop on my german BBW

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
Leaving home while it's still dark after it rained at night is the worst. There's a pretty good chance you'll hear a crunch at least once and then you have to feel bad the rest of the day for smashing a snail. At the same time though they are kind of asking for it being on the sidewalk and all.

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Psycho Society
Oct 21, 2010
i'll send you a snail mail snail

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