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zaurg
Mar 1, 2004
Goals: :toxx:
6-month goal - 1/1/2020: 88k in savings
1-year goal: TBD
9-year goal - 6/1/2028: At age 50 have $500k in savings and condo mortgage paid off.

Budget: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1U9S6nYMufZWCpBrm6pcgTO8FslA7BncMNOMnJ68pbOE/edit#gid=0
Dashboard: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1U9S6nYMufZWCpBrm6pcgTO8FslA7BncMNOMnJ68pbOE/edit#gid=1829395607
Retirement Calculator: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1U9S6nYMufZWCpBrm6pcgTO8FslA7BncMNOMnJ68pbOE/edit#gid=572923374

History:
Thread 1 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3175682
Thread 2 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3470495
Thread 3 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3775446
Thread 4 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3827922




Stuff the mod added to my OP:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moneyball posted:

Is there any way I can necro the OP? I submitted it a few times on this laptop, so is there a cached version? how do i computers

Mod request: If you asked for a gang tag before we had three flavors, please go back and edit your first request for one because I'm going to go through them one by one.
There's the double trainwreck, hitting the wall, and 80s style.
I'll get my laptop back in a couple days and add them all

It's easy to find your post if you filter by your own posts using the ? at the bottom left of one of your posts

Options:


:siren:Trainwreck ahead!:siren:



zaurg posted:


Spreadsheets:


I need to turn things around. This is not sustainable. Posting here so I can update and keep accountable. Must implement budget for the rest of the year.

Jan: Income $4760, Savings $0, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $4810 101%
Feb: Income $4870, Savings $0, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $6207 127%
Mar: Income $4760, Savings $0, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $5998 126%
Apr: Income $4760, Savings $0, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $5740 121%
May: Income $4760, Savings $0, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $4795 101%
Jun: Income $4760, Savings $250 5%, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $5085 107%
Jul so far: Income $4954, Savings $250 5%, Retirement $305 6%, Expenses $4245 86%



Don't believe his lies.



(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.
Well, at least you're contributing to your retirement, that's good. You're gonna have to lay out your expenses in more detail for anyone here to actually help you, though.

Also welcome back! Again!

Not a Children
Oct 9, 2012

Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Impossible to give any kind of advice unless you give more details.

In the meantime, the only thing I can say is "spend less."

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
outflows are highly variable which indicates you don't really have, or keep to, a budget of any kind

full budget and performance in categories recently please

Zenephant
Dec 31, 2009

Reminder of his previous adventures (May need archives):

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3175682&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3470495

Ham Equity
Apr 16, 2013

i hosted a great goon meet and all i got was this lousy avatar
Grimey Drawer
Option 1: Make more.

Option 2: Spend less.

Mourne
Sep 1, 2004

by Athanatos
Ground. Fucken. Floor.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Welcome back.

Again.

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004
Correct I haven't followed a budget in... well forever. But certainly not this year. Just looking at the past 3 months. Daughter is changing from private school (9k/year) to public next month. Stab at a budget below to see what I can realistically follow going forward.


May: Income $4760, Savings $0, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $4795 101%
Jun: Income $4760, Savings (Emergency Fund) $250 5%, Retirement $290 6%, Expenses $5085 107%
7/24: Income $4954, Savings(Emergency Fund) $250 5%, Retirement $305 6%, Expenses $4355 88%

May
Housing $1,750 37%
Utilities $514 11%
Insurance $458 10%
Childcare $948 20%
Grocery $346 7%
Auto $57 1%
Misc $196 4%
Blow $425 9%
Debt $100 2%

June
Housing $1,750 37%
Utilities $369 8%
Insurance $458 10%
Childcare $995 21%
Grocery $476 10%
Auto $82 2%
Misc $464 10%
Blow $391 8%
Debt $100 2%

July
Housing $1,750 35%
Utilities $516 7%
Insurance $454 9%
Childcare $225 5%
Grocery $494 10%
Auto $40 1%
Misc $242 5%
Blow $533 11%
Debt $100 2%


My first stab at updating budget. Need to see if this is realistic

Category Monthly
Income after taxes $4,900.00
Extra income $50.00 (employer covering cell)
total income = $4,950.00

401k Roth $305.00
Emergency Fund Savings $250.00
total savings = $555.00

House mortgage $1,750.00
House insurance escrowed
House property tax escrowed
Auto Insurance $725 bi-annual
Life Insurance $24.00
Health ins me&kids $430.00
Loan repayment $100.00
Electric $150.00
Water $75.00
Internet/TV/Music $70.00
Cell Phone $60.00
Lawn service $80.00
Private school $0.00 (was $750 per month, gone as of June 2017, oldest daughter switching to free public school next month)
Childcare/Camps $400.00 (400 avg per month. ~$2k in summer for oldest daughter. ~6k for youngest daughter daycare/VPK. I cover 60%)
Auto fuel $60.00
Groceries $500.00
Misc $200.00
Blow $200.00
total income = $4,950.00
total savings = $555.00
total expenses = $4099.00
left over = $296.00

JewKiller 3000
Nov 28, 2006

by Lowtax
kill your children and/or go back in time to not have them
also you bought more house than you should have on your income
you don't need a lawn service, mow that poo poo yourself
at least you have your cocaine budget under control

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

When you say "blow"...

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004
I don't do drugs. Blow means like

7/1/17 Blow happy hr 25.20
7/2/17 Blow pizza 27.60
7/9/17 Blow water park 40.06
7/20/17 Blow airbnb 105.00

Pryor on Fire
May 14, 2013

they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

Does utilities include cable tv or something because you don't need that or insulate the attic jesus christ

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004
I lump these together for Utilities category. I don't have cable TV but I pay $10/month for Netflix which goes into the Blow category. Water bill is paid every 2 months and covers water and garbage pickup.

Utilities Electric 146.72
Utilities Water 147.33
Utilities AT&T Wireless 91.86 (this goes down to about $57-60 next month)
Utilities Comcast Internet 49.99
Utilities Lawn 80.00


So it really works out to about 415 average like this... The $30/month Comcast promotion went away and jumped to 50 so I need to try to get something like that again.

Utilities Electric 150 per month
Utilities Water 75 per month
Utilities AT&T Wireless 60 per month
Utilities Comcast Internet 50 per month
Utilities Lawn 80 per month

JewKiller 3000
Nov 28, 2006

by Lowtax
why does your childcare cost less during summer vacation than during the school year?
mow your own lawn
why is your water bill so loving high?

otherwise i don't know what to tell you besides "make more money" or "don't be a single parent"

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



JewKiller 3000 posted:

otherwise i don't know what to tell you besides "make more money" or "don't be a single parent"

I don't want to pry into E/N territory but can you tell us more about how your ex-wife's contributions relate to your children's care? Also, a little bit about your house -- how many rooms, where do the kids stay, do you have full custody or what?

It sounds like you cover 60% of summer camps for your children? What exactly is this 6k/year daycare thing -- is that 10k for summer camp for just her in total then? What does VPK stand for? How much of the health-insurance are you paying, is that 100%?

It's also not super clear -- you have two daughters and zero other children, is that right? How old are they? Is the oldest one old enough to mow the lawn for you?

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004

JewKiller 3000 posted:

why does your childcare cost less during summer vacation than during the school year?
mow your own lawn
why is your water bill so loving high?
otherwise i don't know what to tell you besides "make more money" or "don't be a single parent"

Childcare costs are all over the place because I was paying $750 month for private school which just stopped. Then summer camp is $225 per week but payments are made irregular.

Yeah that is an option. Maybe after summer.

I think it works out to about $55 per month for water. Is that high?

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004

Colin Mockery posted:

I don't want to pry into E/N territory but can you tell us more about how your ex-wife's contributions relate to your children's care? Also, a little bit about your house -- how many rooms, where do the kids stay, do you have full custody or what?

It sounds like you cover 60% of summer camps for your children? What exactly is this 6k/year daycare thing -- is that 10k for summer camp for just her in total then? What does VPK stand for? How much of the health-insurance are you paying, is that 100%?

It's also not super clear -- you have two daughters and zero other children, is that right? How old are they? Is the oldest one old enough to mow the lawn for you?

recent change;
before: Kid1 $750/month for private school I pay. Kid1 summer camp fees, split. Kid2 $700/month for preschool/daycare, ex pays.
after: Kid1 free public school. Kid1 summer camp fees plus Kid2 $500/month for pre-k - I need to work this out so I'm paying 60%, ex pays 40%.

4 bedroom house, around 2k sq ft, with pool. Kids stay with me 50% of the time.

VPK is pre-k. Starts next month. VPK is actually free which covers a preschool class from 9am-12pm, so the cost is just to cover from 12pm-5pm "afterschool"/daycare kinda thing.
http://www.vpkhelp.org/

I pay 100% of health insurance for myself and both kids. Yes two kids age 8 and 4.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
so what are your prospects on the "make more money" side of the ledger?

antiga
Jan 16, 2013

First of all, I stole the idea of a blow category for my budget after reading your other thread so thank you for that. Second, why are you contributing to a Roth 401k instead of traditional? Do you expect your retirement income to be unusually high compared to today's income? Deferring taxes would ease cash flow a bit.

Your auto insurance looks expensive to me but I know that depends a lot on where you live. Shop it around if you haven't recently.

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

so what are your prospects on the "make more money" side of the ledger?

Sounds like a great idea just not sure how.
A guy who works on my team got a second job a few months ago, he leaves job1 and sleeps a couple hours, then works job2 from 11pm-7am, then a little sleep, then back to job1. He looks like a zombie and performance in job1 is suffering. I'm not willing to do something like that.

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004
401k-Roth, aren't taxes cheaper to pay now?

Auto Insurance, thank you. Renewal is coming up in a month. I just sent them an email with a few specific questions and request to provide lower cost options after reviewing my policy. $1450 per year now and I'm the only driver with a good history, I drive a 15 year old car, and do not have collision coverage.
Auto Ins is always the same. If I switch providers and save 15-25%, then over the next 2-3 years the cost increases back to what it was even if no changes in policy and no claims. Want to see if I can stick with this one and just lower existing cost.

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.
A 4br house seems like extreme overkill for a guy with sometimes 2 kids. Besides the cost of the house itself...and also the cost of utilities, having more space tends to mean filling it up with stuff, which itself is $$$. The financially correct move here is to downsize, although honestly if I was in your situation I'm not sure if I would.

Mow your own lawn.

Insurance sounds high to me but I think I was reflexively thinking of just car insurance but I'm guessing that's home insurance too?

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal
Housing prices seem to favor downsizing now and that pool is a money pit. Find a smaller house with an HOA pool or marry a high income spouse with two kids. The Zaurge bunch the Zaurge bunch, this is how we became the Zaurge bunch.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

zaurg posted:

Sounds like a great idea just not sure how.
A guy who works on my team got a second job a few months ago, he leaves job1 and sleeps a couple hours, then works job2 from 11pm-7am, then a little sleep, then back to job1. He looks like a zombie and performance in job1 is suffering. I'm not willing to do something like that.

yeah don't do that but you either need a new job where you make more money or you need some side poo poo that is not too draining where you can make a buck or six.

seriously mow your own fuckin lawn except you should downsize and live in a smaller house without the same lawn care reqs.

antiga
Jan 16, 2013

zaurg posted:

401k-Roth, aren't taxes cheaper to pay now?

Auto Insurance, thank you. Renewal is coming up in a month. I just sent them an email with a few specific questions and request to provide lower cost options after reviewing my policy. $1450 per year now and I'm the only driver with a good history, I drive a 15 year old car, and do not have collision coverage.
Auto Ins is always the same. If I switch providers and save 15-25%, then over the next 2-3 years the cost increases back to what it was even if no changes in policy and no claims. Want to see if I can stick with this one and just lower existing cost.

Switching is a pain but it's like two ten minute calls to save $100+ per year. At least get online quotes from other providers, if you work for a megacorp you probably have corporate discounts at a few places anyway.

Roth vs traditional 401k is a topic you could talk about for hours, but let's not. For traditional contributions, the taxes are deferred until you withdraw the money at retirement so you have smaller paycheck deductions now. You pay taxes on Roth contributions immediately, so it's a larger paycheck deduction but it's tax free to spend the money after you retire. Roth is generally good if you have low income now but expect to have higher income in retirement. If your tax rate never changes, they're mathematically a wash. Many people have a lower tax rate in retirement, so it pays to go traditional in that case. You can argue about which is mathematically optimal but your case isn't clear cut either way and you could use the extra cash flow the traditional contributions would leave you with.

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost
Fair warning to those not used to Zaurg threads: You will waste lots of time trying to help, but nothing will happen except what Zaurg already wants to do. He claims to want the help and to appreciate the advice, but his actions will leave you exasperated and dumbstruck.

That said, I do wish you the best of luck, Zaurg. But past performance is a pretty good indicator of future success in this realm.

Ixian
Oct 9, 2001

Many machines on Ix....new machines
Pillbug
Virtual Masochism is a thing.

"They are right, they are right! I am stupid! I am a piece of poo poo! Die!"

Then goes for a swim before taking the kids to a top-tier summer camp. Do I have this right?

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost

Ixian posted:

Virtual Masochism is a thing.

"They are right, they are right! I am stupid! I am a piece of poo poo! Die!"

Then goes for a swim before taking the kids to a top-tier summer camp. Do I have this right?

Right on the money. He'll see the light, claim he's on the path, then something shiny will come along or he'll knock up his ex-wife and we'll be right back at "we told you not to do these things!"

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

Nocheez posted:

Right on the money. He'll see the light, claim he's on the path, then something shiny will come along or he'll knock up his ex-wife and we'll be right back at "we told you not to do these things!"

I mean to be fair he didn't knock up his ex wife

Ixian
Oct 9, 2001

Many machines on Ix....new machines
Pillbug

Veskit posted:

I mean to be fair he didn't knock up his ex wife

If history is taken into account I don't know that we should eliminate that as a possibility though?.....

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.

Nocheez posted:

Fair warning to those not used to Zaurg threads: You will waste lots of time trying to help, but nothing will happen except what Zaurg already wants to do. He claims to want the help and to appreciate the advice, but his actions will leave you exasperated and dumbstruck.

That said, I do wish you the best of luck, Zaurg. But past performance is a pretty good indicator of future success in this realm.
Eh at least half the problem before was that he was married to a woman who was even less open to actually changing than zaurg. Or at least it seemed that way. So, maybe this time it'll be different! :confuoot:

Orthodox Rabbit
Jun 2, 2006

This game is perfect for empty-headed dunces that don't like to think much!! Of course, I'm a genius... I wonder why I'm so good at it?!
Zaurg is this the house your then-wife made you buy during one of the last threads? If so why do you still have it?

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

House prices are holding up pretty well right now, you could probably sell it and come out ahead.

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost

Cicero posted:

Eh at least half the problem before was that he was married to a woman who was even less open to actually changing than zaurg. Or at least it seemed that way. So, maybe this time it'll be different! :confuoot:

Maybe. I'll still bookmark the thread and follow it. I just won't waste any more keystrokes after this period.

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

Cicero posted:

Eh at least half the problem before was that he was married to a woman who was even less open to actually changing than zaurg. Or at least it seemed that way. So, maybe this time it'll be different! :confuoot:

Don't you remember the last time he said this time it'll be different?


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3775446

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004

Orthodox Rabbit posted:

Zaurg is this the house your then-wife made you buy during one of the last threads? If so why do you still have it?

I don't understand the question, why do I still have a home?

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

zaurg posted:

I don't understand the question, why do I still have a home?

why didn't you sell it and move bro

zaurg
Mar 1, 2004

No Butt Stuff posted:

House prices are holding up pretty well right now, you could probably sell it and come out ahead.

Would come out with somewhere around 40-50k. I just need to think about what I'd do then. Definitely not an easy decision. We like it here, like the house, the neighborhood, the location. Just registered daughter for local public school. Where would I move to find significant savings from my current housing related expenses, that is what I need to evaluate

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Inept
Jul 8, 2003

zaurg posted:

Just registered daughter for local public school. Where would I move to find significant savings from my current housing related expenses, that is what I need to evaluate

Look at what areas the school serves on a map or real estate website, then find a house that is smaller/cheaper that still meets your needs. Just browse on your lunch break, it isn't hard to start.

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