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Cyril Sneer
Aug 8, 2004

Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

I travel a lot for work and so I've stayed in many hotels. The bathrooms always come equipped with a nondescript bottle of lotion. But I can never figure it out...is it soap? Moisturizer? Personal lubricant? Idgi goons, help me out here.

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myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ceci n'est pas mon père

College Slice

It's whatever your heart desires

paul_soccer10
Mar 28, 2016
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


A lotion is a low-viscosity topical preparation intended for application to unbroken skin.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Unnnnngh


College Slice

It's cum.

Heath
Apr 29, 2008



paul_soccer10 posted:

A lotion is a low-viscosity topical preparation intended for application to unbroken skin.

Yeah, itís this.

Cyril Sneer
Aug 8, 2004

Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

paul_soccer10 posted:

A lotion is a low-viscosity topical preparation intended for application to unbroken skin.

See now this guy gets my me! It'd be like opening the fridge to find a bottle of drink.

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009



Legacy
Of
Terror
In
Occupied
Nations

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

"a scattering of schizophrenic first worlders who have long ago burned their brains to ash in the radiant heat of their own imaginings"



Cyril Sneer posted:

I travel a lot for work and so I've stayed in many hotels. The bathrooms always come equipped with a nondescript bottle of lotion. But I can never figure it out...is it soap? Moisturizer? Personal lubricant? Idgi goons, help me out here.

it's basically chemicals and grease

if you're a dude rent some hotel porn and use it to charge your crystal with your bro

Dog Jones
Nov 4, 2005



paul_soccer10 posted:

A lotion is a low-viscosity topical preparation intended for application to unbroken skin.

Whoa! humble SA goon paul_soccer10 a possible secret einstein of lotions ? Any buzzfeed reporters seeing this post?

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta' nuke something.


For guys it's nothing, then you learn that for women it must be one of the most important substances on earth since they use it every god-damned day of their lives.

Oh, maybe I didn't eat the best today, oh well. Ahhh, I'll skip my exercise today, whatever. Wait, OUT OF LOTION?!?!? BUT I HAVE TO MOISTURIZE!!!!! Oh god, are there any 24-hour pharmacies around here??? *starts to hyperventilate*

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



They put that there so you actually soap up your hair with lotion instead of shampoo and then spend half hour washing it out.

Cyril Sneer
Aug 8, 2004

Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

I don't understand why they just don't call it moisturizer

We Know Catheters
Jan 14, 2006

Sounding for the greater good

Rub it on your penis (if you have one)

Spinster
Jul 15, 2017

Str8 Ballin'


Bloody Hedgehog posted:

For guys it's nothing, then you learn that for women it must be one of the most important substances on earth since they use it every god-damned day of their lives.

Oh, maybe I didn't eat the best today, oh well. Ahhh, I'll skip my exercise today, whatever. Wait, OUT OF LOTION?!?!? BUT I HAVE TO MOISTURIZE!!!!! Oh god, are there any 24-hour pharmacies around here??? *starts to hyperventilate*

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the crows again.

Candlelight Virgil
Jan 20, 2012

Frank the Fox


Always thought it was pretty much just mayo and sour cream mixed

Neukoln19
Oct 27, 2005


its some cold rear end goop that girls like, op

Neukoln19
Oct 27, 2005


youll need some if you ever get a tattoo, as well, op mcdumbass

Seashell Salesman
Aug 4, 2005

Holy wow! That "Literally A Person" sure is a cool and good poster. He's smart and witty and he smells like a pure mountain stream. I posted in his thread and I got a FANCY NEW AVATAR!!!!

If you don't know lotion is for self-abuse then, what, do you use actual lube all the time? Just go dry?

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005



Buglord

Cyril Sneer posted:

I don't understand why they just don't call it moisturizer

Because it doesn't actually add moisture to skin, it just helps trap thr existing moisture

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005



Buglord

Seashell Salesman posted:

If you don't know lotion is for self-abuse then, what, do you use actual lube all the time? Just go dry?

Yes.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

You clearly don't understand how 'free tophat' works!

lotion is a thing cut men like me need to self satisfy because the cornflakes guy convinced our dumb nation it was a good way to stop boys from touching themselves

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

I am
DOUGIE'S COFFEE


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20z4edLGxHE

Seashell Salesman
Aug 4, 2005

Holy wow! That "Literally A Person" sure is a cool and good poster. He's smart and witty and he smells like a pure mountain stream. I posted in his thread and I got a FANCY NEW AVATAR!!!!


Yeah also this.

Candlelight Virgil
Jan 20, 2012

Frank the Fox


Cummy greasy mayo

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

You clearly don't understand how 'free tophat' works!

many a goon have commented my voice is eerily similar to buffalo bill

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



its a kind of cream

TheManWithNoName
Oct 20, 2004

Cuz life sucks, kids. Get it while you can.

a balm, or salve, but not annoying to say.

Cyril Sneer
Aug 8, 2004

Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Because it doesn't actually add moisture to skin, it just helps trap thr existing moisture

Thank you, goon, for your factual and informative answer to my question regarding lotion

genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

To the moon! And nowhere else!

Gravy Boat 2k

TheManWithNoName posted:

a balm, or salve, but not annoying to say.

Could it also be an unguent?

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

scented goo

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



the secret ingredient to macaroni and cheese

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Bloody Hedgehog posted:

For guys it's nothing, then you learn that for women it must be one of the most important substances on earth since they use it every god-damned day of their lives.

Oh, maybe I didn't eat the best today, oh well. Ahhh, I'll skip my exercise today, whatever. Wait, OUT OF LOTION?!?!? BUT I HAVE TO MOISTURIZE!!!!! Oh god, are there any 24-hour pharmacies around here??? *starts to hyperventilate*

My fur keeps me moisturized most of the time but I get ashy like twice a year so I gotta hit up the lotion.

Vakal
May 11, 2008



Bloody Hedgehog posted:

For guys it's nothing, then you learn that for women it must be one of the most important substances on earth since they use it every god-damned day of their lives.

Oh, maybe I didn't eat the best today, oh well. Ahhh, I'll skip my exercise today, whatever. Wait, OUT OF LOTION?!?!? BUT I HAVE TO MOISTURIZE!!!!! Oh god, are there any 24-hour pharmacies around here??? *starts to hyperventilate*

Women breath through their skin like amphibians, so they suffocate if it gets too dried out.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure

It's a masturbatory aid.

r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001



It's personal lubricant that's less embarrassing when your mom finds it

unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

Oh gee oh golly oh god fucking damnit


A euphemism for semen you keep around after the first round so the second is better

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015




Grimey Drawer

I think its a plasma ?

Blast of Confetti
Apr 21, 2008


WatermelonGun posted:

Legacy
Of
Terror
In
Occupied
Nations

inshallah

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014


It enmoistens you are skin.

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SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009





It's an unguent, op.

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