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We all know it's going to happen one day. Every goon's life cycle will end with an embarrassing meltdown in front of the entire Internet.Trying to predict how it will happen won't stop the meltdown from coming but it can help you gain insight in to how great a poster you are. My meltdown will start innocently enough with me posting a thread about how Sugar Bear the Golden Crisps cereal mascot is racist. Idiot Goons will literally waddle into the thread mouths agape to disagree with me but I will brutally shoot them all down with facts and statistics geniusly. The thread will be gold within minutes but then a jealous butthurt idiot mod who can't compete with my wit will stoop to changing my user name to Booger bear and my av to:  along with the red text custom title: "I literally think cereal mascots are racist because of a commercial from the 1980s where a cartoon bear beats up an old white lady for trying to steal his cereal. Also I literally say literally too much." At this point I will calmly send death threats to various mods while doxing them. The mods will predictably over react like the children they are and permaban me since subtly is lost on these cretins. Thus ending one of the most legendary posting careers the forums have ever seen. My inevitable Dear Richard will be so devastating Lowtax will literally shut these dead gay forums down in what Internet historians will later refer to as racistsugerbeargate. Number of obvious rereg accounts: 11 Total cost of meltdown: $540 Lesson learned: The mods of Something Awful are literally Nazis. |
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Dec 21, 2017 01:58
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:54 |
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i will get drunk and pretend to be a shitt internet nazi ironically, in order to foster resentment against actual internet nazis this will go on for years until I am railgunned out of the forums and straight into a goddamn sewer ---------------- |
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Dec 21, 2017 02:22
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I'll write an outraged dnd bullet post so long I never finish it and just keep quoting more posts and adding sick rebuttals as the rest of the forum and life itself goes on without me. |
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Dec 21, 2017 02:39
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posting in byob my was downfall |
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Dec 21, 2017 03:17
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I'll probably be the next "Tiny Pastry" guy one of these days. |
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Dec 21, 2017 05:00
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accidentally copy pastes erotic sexting between myself and another poster (pm if interested in being the other poster) |
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Dec 21, 2017 06:17
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I've already had like three meltdowns and I'm still here |
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Dec 21, 2017 07:33
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The definition of soup is kind of a sore issue |
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Dec 21, 2017 07:34
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It’ll happen slowly, then all at once. Like a bursting dam, my brittle mind will spill its secrets onto the screen. Fingers flying madly and head slouching deeper over the keyboard; the witness sees a man deflated and the hollow thing that moves in his place. It moves again, easier now: the terrible weight has shifted. Only one thing remains. I read again. pizza is open face grilled cheese I post. |
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Dec 21, 2017 08:12
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joke_explainer posted:I've already had like three meltdowns and I'm still here same, i am basically one continuous meltdown by definition and my shitposting is eternally bad joke_explainer posted:The definition of soup is kind of a sore issue everything is soup
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Dec 21, 2017 08:22
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A gradual shift from posting to lurking combined with an increasingly busy lifestyle. |
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Dec 21, 2017 08:55
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I will create an alternate reality thread called "BYOB in the HRE" and get lost in the mythos like the characters in Foucault's Pendulum. I will eventually take my thread offsite and turn into a full-blown conspiracy crazy person ranting about the unbelievable chill of the Empire's public peace. |
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Dec 21, 2017 16:29
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I'm going to accidentally say something that makes me sound like a sex weird and then double and quadruple down until I ascend to a state of pure red text. |
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Dec 21, 2017 17:10
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I will get bored and do something I think is funny.
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Dec 22, 2017 05:22
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drilldo squirt posted:I will get bored and do something I think is funny. That's our Drilldo! 
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Dec 22, 2017 05:28
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using buzzwords in the year 2030 |
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Dec 22, 2017 06:17
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Koishi Komeiji posted:That's our Drilldo! I'm not sure if this is a compliment or not, but I'm taking it as one. Thank you friend. ---------------- |
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Dec 22, 2017 07:09
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drilldo squirt posted:I'm not sure if this is a compliment or not, but I'm taking it as one. Thank you friend. Oh, you're welcome 
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Dec 22, 2017 22:23
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Koishi Komeiji posted:Oh, you're welcome 
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Dec 22, 2017 22:45
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drilldo squirt posted:I will get bored and do something I think is funny. i will also probably catch the ban for thinking it is funny too
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Dec 22, 2017 22:57
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hamjobs posted:i will also probably catch the ban for thinking it is funny too ---------------- |
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Dec 23, 2017 00:05
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i'm going to spend the next ~40 years avoiding the leper's colony with inoffensive, single-line posts. then i will die of a heart attack.
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Dec 23, 2017 01:09
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BIRDCON 2017 posted:i'm going to spend the next ~40 years avoiding the leper's colony with inoffensive, single-line posts. then i will die of a heart attack. dont steal my strategy |
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Dec 23, 2017 01:39
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Probably go mad with power after being given the chance to mini mod one of the smaller subforums.
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Dec 23, 2017 02:11
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Starman Super DX posted:Probably go mad with power after being given the chance to mini mod one of the smaller subforums. *nervously tugs collar* |
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Dec 23, 2017 16:16
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Nosfereefer posted:posting in byob my was downfall registering an account was mine
OMGVBFLOL posted:if you have the money and the patience, you can Hello Kitty anything   Thank you deep dish peat moss! |
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Dec 23, 2017 18:34
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clitical hit posted:using buzzwords in the year 2030 dementiaposting in the year 2030
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Dec 24, 2017 09:26
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getin' too spicy in the meme thread
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Dec 24, 2017 09:39
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I'm going to be the guy that hits the power button on the server the final time |
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Dec 24, 2017 10:19
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TOOT BOOT posted:I'm going to be the guy that hits the power button on the server the final time 
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Dec 24, 2017 10:23
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yeah I think it was the clock shop thread I made a couple weeks ago |
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Dec 24, 2017 20:59
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When North Korea and Russia launch the nukes and in the final moments before obliteration I post about it and get banned under the no politics rule. |
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Dec 24, 2017 22:10
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getting really huffy after making a 'triumphant return' after a long posting hiatus only to realize that nobody really noticed i was gone to begin with.
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Dec 25, 2017 05:28
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I think its going to be this thread because I say something like [censored]
Somebody fucked around with this message at 04:49 on Dec 31, 2017
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Dec 29, 2017 02:31
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I will just absolutely cross the line, I will both create the threshold and finely cross through it on talking too much about gay sex. it seems the concept of too much just doesnt exist to me personally, obviously, but to anyone else, and anyone would see it, that I really did, in the future,pass that crystal fine line of too much talk of unprotected gay sex |
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Dec 29, 2017 06:03
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this is it, y'all, this is my downfall: i'm gonna say a cuss in byob right now and end my bad posting life. DANG HECK CRAP BUTT
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Dec 29, 2017 12:31
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In which I accidentally spoil a movie I have not seen. One which FluffieDuckie was super looking forward too. It is possibly from 1987. I will be struck down in anger.
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Dec 31, 2017 04:42
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I test out a theoretical form of Treble Irony and suffer a serious posting injury. Recovery takes months and by the time I'm healed, I just don't have the heart anymore. I retire to All Recipes where I write 4,000 word stories to introduce recipes for Brussel's sprouts. |
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Jan 1, 2018 19:43
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When I accidentally leave my computer on and my cat posts better than me and goldmines a thread
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jan 1, 2018 20:05
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:54 |
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:I retire to All Recipes where I write 4,000 word stories to introduce recipes for Brussel's sprouts. lol |
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Jan 1, 2018 22:04
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