|
Prologue the First: Sic Transit Gloria Mundi The Middle of Nowhere May 4, 2040 (FADE IN on an OLD CRT TELEVISION)   : What if I told you that there was once a coach who started his career in ignominy. : What if I told you that he was given another chance by a small town club with ancient roots.  : What if I told you that he became the greatest football coach in the world. : What if I told you that they called him the “God King of Wales.”  : What if I told you that he walked away from his club to bring glory to his nation. : What if I told you there were challenges beyond even him. : What if I told you that on the day of his downfall, he vanished, and was never seen again. : This is 30 for 30: The Death of a God-King.(The OLD CRT TELEVISION clicks off. Camera pans back to reveal a dilapidated shack, covered in empty beer cans. A MAN sits with his back to the camera, slunk in a ratty old recliner)  : S'bullshit. All Gulati's fault.(The MAN tenses for a moment, and then sighs) : Ok, not all his fault. Mainly my fault.(The MAN covers his face and weeps, cut to REVERSE SHOT showing a SHADOWED FIGURE behind the MAN in the chair)  : It doesn't have to be this way, you know. : What?! Who's there?(The MAN struggles to his feet, we can see his STAINED AND TATTERED BATHROBE barely covering his aging body) : Everything can be made right, for a price.: Nothing can make this right. I would have to go back in time.: I can help you with that. Terms and conditions will apply, naturally.: … I'm not 100% sure about this.: Close enough for me!(The SHADOWED FIGURE grabs the MAN'S hand, SMASH CUT TO BLACK) A Back Alley in Boston June 26, 2017 (A WOMAN in a too large STAINED AND TATTERED BATHROBE pulls herself from a garbage dumpster. She looks around, and sees the SHADOWED FIGURE)  : What the hell was that?: Exactly what you wanted. A second chance.(the WOMAN looks down at herself, then back to the SHADOWED FIGURE, then back to herself) : And what the hell did you do to me?!: I did say terms and conditions would apply.(The WOMAN stares at the SHADOWED FIGURE and fumes, as his pocket begins to ring. The SHADOWED FIGURE holds up a hand to the WOMAN) : One minute, I need to take this. Hello, sir? : Hey, Lou. How's it going? I told you to come right back with my McDonald's order. What's taking you so long?(The SHADOWED FIGURE blanches, as much as a SHADOWED FIGURE can blanch) : Uh, right nearby sir. Just got caught up telling someone how great you are, sir. Be right there.(The SHADOWED FIGURE looks at the WOMAN, and makes a decision) : Look, you remember how you got your first job? Just start from the beginning again. Here's some clothes. I've gotta run. Have fun!(The SHADOWED FIGURE tosses a SUIT BAG at the WOMAN, and then vanishes in a puff of SULPHURUS SMOKE, leaving the woman CHAGRINED)  : Well. Crap.(The WOMAN looks around, and then steps into a secluded doorway, returning to view a short time later, now dressed)  : At least the clothes fit, kinda. Now where the hell am I?
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 20:02
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:12 |
|
|
Prologue the Second: Consulting with the Ancestors For those who are completely bewildered by that opening, this is a new Football Manager LP. Some of you may remember my FM14 LP, which never quite got finished because I couldn't even make it out of the group round of the 2030 World Cup as the Americans and that's no way to end what had previously been a legendary career. For those of you who didn't read the old one, you won't realize that I'm plagiarizing myself below: habeasdorkus in 2013 posted:What is Football Manager?  Who The Heck Are We?From time to time I will be asking y'all to make decisions, and the first one is a biggie. Who am I going to coach to glory? I have no real preference, outside of a league that's deep enough to require several promotions to reach the top level and on a continent that has highly regarded continental honors to seek. I also have a game loaded up with every league available and set to playable, if you'd like to inquire about anything, and if your suggestion is a club that isn't usually playable but can be added via workshop/mod, go ahead because I'm already going to be modding this game with facepacks and real competition names. So, make your cases for Knucklehead FC below, the clock begins now and runs until someone makes a recommendation I can't resist and/or Sunday, January 7 at 1pm EST. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Jan 15, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 20:05
|
|
|
Yesss, 2018 is already off to a great start. Looking very much forward to this LP, habeas. (Not going to suggest an FC because we don't need more Bavarian Megabastards running around.)
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 20:30
|
|
|
As a poor soul out in the wasteland of the US, about the only European team I know about is Accrington Stanley, and that is due to the milk commercials.
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 21:02
|
|
|
Spennymoor Town FC
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 21:07
|
|
|
habeasdorkus posted:I have no real preference, outside of a league that's deep enough to require several promotions to reach the top level and on a continent that has real If I'm reading this right, and you don't wan't to fully climb the pyramid like the last time, I will suggest Parma or AFC Wimbeldon. If I'm reading it wrong and you don't mind, then Sheffield FC in the 8th tier is my suggestion. They're the first FC ever. Nice to see you back. Hopefully Lou did(n't) send you to this universe
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 21:52
|
|
|
Dreamsicle posted:If I'm reading this right, and you don't wan't to fully climb the pyramid like the last time, I will suggest Parma or AFC Wimbeldon. AFC Wimbledon or Kingstonian.
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 21:53
|
|
|
I could be basic and suggest my club, which is also the only club. I will not to that, so I suggest Ungmennafélagið Stjarnan
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 22:00
|
|
|
Dreamsicle posted:If I'm reading this right, and you don't wan't to fully climb the pyramid like the last time, I will suggest Parma or AFC Wimbeldon. If I'm reading it wrong and you don't mind, then Sheffield FC in the 8th tier is my suggestion. They're the first FC ever. I am totally cool with working my way up from the very bottom, sorry about the confusion.
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 22:46
|
|
|
Weston-Super-Mare is a hotbed of depression, unemployment and class A drugs. Let's give them something to smile about 
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2018 23:19
|
|
|
Bedlington Terriers or Gateshead. Bring glory to the North East (finally)!
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 01:05
|
|
I know this corner of the earth, it smiles at me
|
Way to make me immediately regret not buying FM18 during Steam's holiday sale.  I know you'll probably end up playing in England because they have the deepest playable league structure, but I'll go ahead and make a suggestion of A.S. Livorno, currently in Serie C, entirely because they have some of the most famously leftist supporters in the world. Death to Lazio! Too bad Serie D is apparently not playable, otherwise I'd suggest San Marino Calcio. Edit: If you want to play in England, may I suggest F.C. United of Manchester, because I just found out that they exist and I find their name and existence hilarious. Viscardus fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Jan 5, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 02:34
|
|
|
Viscardus posted:Way to make me immediately regret not buying FM18 during Steam's holiday sale. Seconding all of these cool and good suggestions. Imagine what a pain in the rear end it would be for sportswriters if F.C. United of Manchester was in the EPL. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 02:57
|
|
|
Is there a East Bumfuckshire FC?
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 03:02
|
|
|
The story behind FC United of Manchester is amazing, it's the fans who were pissed off at the sale of the club to American owners who decided to literally take their ball and go home. That's a strong choice, especially as they're already a fan trust so board elections will happen on the regular.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 03:17
|
|
|
habeasdorkus posted:I am totally cool with working my way up from the very bottom, sorry about the confusion. In that case, I will limit my suggestion to Sheffield FC. The first and soon, the best club Viscardus posted:Too bad Serie D is apparently not playable, otherwise I'd suggest San Marino Calcio. Habe said there he would mod so if he can find a Serie D mod he can go with that. Also is that one half of the San Marino challenge or does have to play with a team in the San Marino League?
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 03:27
|
|
|
FC Edmonton, for being relatively new (founded 2010), being on a poor continent (North America), and if the club folds like they may, Edmonton loses out on the chance to help host FIFA 2026.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 03:43
|
|
|
In honor of  hosting the World Cup, I suggest Dynamo Saint Petersburg, who just got promoted to the RNFL.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 03:49
|
|
|
Dreamsicle posted:Habe said there he would mod so if he can find a Serie D mod he can go with that. I didn't know about that, but I looked it up and yeah, apparently it is. You lead San Marino Calcio to glory, invest heavily in youth development and such, and eventually the game will start generating better and better Sammarinese players until you can win the World Cup with San Marino (I can't imagine how long that would take, though). I kind of want Habeas to do that now. Better than managing those drat Americans, at least. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 05:00
|
|
|
Oh look, another FM LP, man I miss that great old Wrexham one, I wonder what happened to it in the end. I wonder who is doing thi-quote:habeasdorkus As for a team suggestion... habeasdorkus posted:The story behind FC United of Manchester is amazing, it's the fans who were pissed off at the sale of the club to American owners who decided to literally take their ball and go home. That's a strong choice, especially as they're already a fan trust so board elections will happen on the regular. How about FC United of Tackleford?
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 05:32
|
|
|
Yesssss! I saw your name pop up in the WITP thread and thought wouldn't it be awesome to have another FM LP and whaddya know  Seconding a vote for FC United, they're a fun back story and they're far enough down the pyramid to give the LP some longevity as you work your way up.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 11:13
|
|
|
Oh wow, welcome back. I suggest finding the team with the dumbest name you can and running that Arsenal doesn’t count
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 12:31
|
|
|
Delvio posted:As a poor soul out in the wasteland of the US, about the only European team I know about is Accrington Stanley, and that is due to the milk commercials. Accrington Stanley? Who are they?
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:01
|
|
|
GeneX posted:Oh wow, welcome back. You should probably amend that to "dumbest non-MLS name" unless you want to play as Real Salt Lake.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:17
|
|
|
Viscardus posted:You should probably amend that to "dumbest non-MLS name" unless you want to play as Real Salt Lake. I’d say there’s like a 99% chance that one of the teams in a Chinese or southeast asian league has a word that’s completely innocuous in its native tongue, but is a synonym for penis in english A hypothetical FC Dong is the perfect goonteam Jen X fucked around with this message at 13:33 on Jan 5, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:29
|
|
|
inflatablefish posted:Accrington Stanley? Who are they? Exactly.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:48
|
|
|
GeneX posted:I’d say there’s like a 99% chance that one of the teams in a Chinese or southeast asian league has a word that’s completely innocuous in its native tongue, but is a synonym for penis in english Dong Tam Long An FC is the one you are looking for.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:53
|
|
|
Edward Mass posted:In honor of One city - one team 
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:53
|
|
|
Angry Lobster posted:Dong Tam Long An FC is the one you are looking for. Well there we go!
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 13:58
|
|
|
If there's any sleeping giants out there in lower leagues, I'd certainly be interested in them. One awesome thing about Wrexham was their 19th century bonafides and how we eventually got to bring back the Pyramid. Right now I'm leaning towards either FC United or San Marino. The San Marino Challenge would certainly fit my playing style of recruiting teenagers for the first team. Second question for all y'all: What leagues should I have active so that I can give full reports at the end of each year? Also, I still have the FM14 save, if anyone wants to know what happened to Wrexham and the world after I went Luke Skywalker on them. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Jan 5, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 14:01
|
|
|
If we're going global, I'd like to nominate my own state of Selangor FA (pronounced Slang-or Eff-Ay ), because if you can with a footy game with Malaysians, you are pretty much on par with divinity.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 14:01
|
|
|
habeasdorkus posted:If there's any sleeping giants out there in lower leagues, I'd certainly be interested in them. One awesome thing about Wrexham was their 19th century bonafides and how we eventually got to bring back the Pyramid. MLS, the major European leagues, and Russia, on the off chance of something ridiculous happening there
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 14:07
|
|
|
The leagues you want are: 1) Europe - four major leagues (Germany, England, Italy, Spain) - France - the second-tier quartet of semi-relevance (Portugal, Russia, Ukraine, Turkey) - optionally: Netherlands and Belgium 2) Americas - MLS - Brazil - Argentina You can throw Japan and South Korea in the mix if you feel really internationalist
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 14:18
|
|
|
I'd throw France out because we already know who;'s gonna win, but I'd like to see the Netherlands.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 14:26
|
|
|
We already did the UK so I think San Marino will give us that zesty Italianate flavor.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 14:49
|
|
|
GeneX posted:I’d say there’s like a 99% chance that one of the teams in a Chinese or southeast asian league has a word that’s completely innocuous in its native tongue, but is a synonym for penis in english The team could literally be named Penis FC and it still wouldn't be as stupid a name as Real Salt Lake. Although if you want a team with a rude name you don't need to go all the way to Asia. Just play Scunthorpe. habeasdorkus posted:Right now I'm leaning towards either FC United or San Marino. The San Marino Challenge would certainly fit my playing style of recruiting teenagers for the first team. So you're saying my ideas are so good you're having trouble choosing between them? A difficult struggle indeed. Personally I'm all in for San Marino, though. I feel like our new and improved manager deserves a fresh start somewhere new rather than back in the English system. And a Mediterranean vacation couldn't hurt. Plus it would continue the tradition of managing a team from a much smaller nation within a larger nation's league (although the disparity between Wales and England is maybe not quite as big as that between San Marino and Italy). On an unrelated note, I seem to remember there was a thing in the last thread where you'd give boons to readers that would let them choose one edit to make to the game world. Any chance you'll do that again, perhaps starting with the person who initially suggests the team you end up playing? No particular reason I'm asking, of course.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 21:14
|
|
|
I really like San Marino since we've been in England before, but AFAIK there's one less trophy to win in Serie A and the Coppa Italia isn't as cool as the FA Cup to me. It's a tough pick. Out of curiosity, are there any cool French or German minnows? I really want someone to break the PSG/Bayern stranglehold.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 21:34
|
|
|
Dreamsicle posted:I really like San Marino since we've been in England before San Marino has it. The only reason to go back to the UK is to see how much Brexit fucks with teams, and we'd still be minnows when that happens. Viscardus posted:On an unrelated note, I seem to remember there was a thing in the last thread where you'd give boons to readers that would let them choose one edit to make to the game world. Any chance you'll do that again, perhaps starting with the person who initially suggests the team you end up playing? No particular reason I'm asking, of course. You remember correctly. Request thy boon!
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 22:15
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:12 |
|
|
habeasdorkus posted:San Marino has it. The only reason to go back to the UK is to see how much Brexit fucks with teams, and we'd still be minnows when that happens. Oh, wow, I didn't even think of that. How does the game handle that? Just guess what the new rules will be? Given that we're talking about Brexit I assume none of this is being planned more than five minutes in advance. habeasdorkus posted:You remember correctly. Request thy boon! I didn't really expect that to work, but sure! As a Canadian, I'm tired of my country's national team embarrasssing itself by losing to Central American and Caribbean minnows (even if our good friends the Americans decided to join us this year). I don't remember exactly what goes into talent generation into this game, so I'll just ask that you do whatever you think appropriate to increase Canada's chances of qualifying for a World Cup down the road. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2018 23:11
|
|