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wipe?
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Apr 25, 2018 07:14
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Lick? I just saw this. I hate that feeling. I call it Posidon's Kiss
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Apr 25, 2018 07:15
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drag my rear end across the floor, preferably in front of company.
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Apr 25, 2018 07:20
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i never wipe e: i have no rear end
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Apr 25, 2018 07:21
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Papa Emeritus III posted:Lick?  make a lil' nest of paper for your poops to gently land in
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Apr 25, 2018 07:28
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i wash myself with a rag on a stick
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Apr 25, 2018 07:29
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lol but seriously I posted:
lmfao Away all Goats posted:i wash myself with a rag on a stick 
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Apr 25, 2018 07:33
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I just ring for the valet. Someone post that pic of the stickman suspended above a toilet face-down pooping on himself.
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Apr 25, 2018 07:44
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remind me what this is supposed to be of
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Apr 25, 2018 07:45
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The White Dragon posted:remind me what this is supposed to be of Seconded. I'm having trouble recalling the whole story. I also remember that one kid who poo poo on his date's toilet seat and then took a shower but got poo poo everywhere in the shower too, the date ended with her crying and commanding him to leave.
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Apr 25, 2018 07:48
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Papa Emeritus III posted:Seconded. I'm having trouble recalling the whole story. Also there was the bodybuilding.com one where the guy tried to piss and poo poo with an erection. He helpfully illustrated the entire ordeal in mspaint IIRC.
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Apr 25, 2018 08:07
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This really needs to be solved. In all of our history the best solution we have is flimsy, tear-prone paper? With all of our talent, science and ingenuity we need better. I personally transition right from wiping into the shower or it's just disgusting. It's like pushing a pat of butter around on a wool blanket then thinking you're clean. Butt shower people!
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Apr 25, 2018 08:09
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The White Dragon posted:remind me what this is supposed to be of I think at a restaurant he poo poo and pissed himself in the bathroom before he could make it to the toilet
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Apr 25, 2018 08:12
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Booger Presley posted:This really needs to be solved. In all of our history the best solution we have is flimsy, tear-prone paper? With all of our talent, science and ingenuity we need better. I personally transition right from wiping into the shower or it's just disgusting. It's like pushing a pat of butter around on a wool blanket then thinking you're clean. Butt shower people! It's already been solved and they're called bidets
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Apr 25, 2018 08:13
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you know how like mary just got beamed up into heaven rather than dying well its like that but extremely scatological
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Apr 25, 2018 08:14
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My mommy wipes it for me between sessions of internet communism
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Apr 25, 2018 08:22
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Away all Goats posted:It's already been solved and they're called bidets Only the rich have those, what about the masses?
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Apr 25, 2018 08:22
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The White Dragon posted:remind me what this is supposed to be of he had to go, bad. Real fuckin bad. second panel is him, collapsed and making GBS threads and pissing himself simultaneously. Thrid panel is the mens room he never made it to, very artistic but he drew it so it looks like there's only two panels and he's on the ceiling lol man that had to have been drawn at least 12 years ago or some poo poo iirc there were a ton of mishap mspaints from that thread but this is the one that's usually on hand
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Apr 25, 2018 08:22
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Apr 25, 2018 08:29
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Booger Presley posted:This really needs to be solved. In all of our history the best solution we have is flimsy, tear-prone paper? With all of our talent, science and ingenuity we need better. I personally transition right from wiping into the shower or it's just disgusting. It's like pushing a pat of butter around on a wool blanket then thinking you're clean. Butt shower people! If I take a mud-butt poop, I hop in the shower right after if its possible. The beer shits also make me hop in there. Had to deal with those this morning after drinking and eating a broccoli pasta salad at a church potluck. Oh god, was I ever a vile fart dispenser all night. Like one of those Glade poof things that regularly blast air. Edit: SniperWoreConverse posted:he had to go, bad. Real fuckin bad. second panel is him, collapsed and making GBS threads and pissing himself simultaneously. Thrid panel is the mens room he never made it to, very artistic Oh yeah! That's right.  Thanks, man. I always would stare at that drawing and think "is he trying to poop and piss while holding himself over the bowl by bracing his head and legs against the stall walls?", no matter how many times I've read that story. It just doesn't click. Theophany posted:Also there was the bodybuilding.com one where the guy tried to piss and poo poo with an erection. He helpfully illustrated the entire ordeal in mspaint IIRC. I believe that's the one I mentioned. Forgot about the erection part. He also would only poop at home or something equally retarded. Papa Emeritus III fucked around with this message at 08:36 on Apr 25, 2018 |
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Apr 25, 2018 08:31
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one day I will poo poo and piss like spiderman
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Apr 25, 2018 08:44
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I just wipe my rear end on the shower curtains of the place I've broken into to take that dump. I then leave wearing a pristine white toga made from one of their bedsheets and demand everyone I meet in the street salute and call me Caesar.
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Apr 25, 2018 08:45
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you dab lightly if your stool is so spicy that your anus has little bloody spots
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Apr 25, 2018 08:58
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curlys gold posted:you dab lightly if your stool is so spicy that your anus has little bloody spots I had this happen somewhat recently. Habanero is no bueno for my little pink button DancingShade posted:I just wipe my rear end on the shower curtains of the place I've broken into to take that dump. Do this but after upper decking the commode.
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Apr 25, 2018 09:00
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Papa Emeritus III posted:I had this happen somewhat recently. Habanero is no bueno for my little pink button
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Apr 25, 2018 09:18
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curlys gold posted:you dab lightly if your stool is so spicy that your anus has little bloody spots Keep a pack of baby wipes in the fridge?
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Apr 25, 2018 09:19
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Apr 25, 2018 09:20
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OP, will you please stop trying to make us help you masterbate. It's really gross and weird. Go make a fetlife account. Edit. Your mom is gonna get a bladder infection wiping back to front.
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Apr 25, 2018 09:20
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Along with a wicked yeast infection.
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Apr 25, 2018 09:23
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If you're looking to add some challenge to your life, start wiping with the other hand.
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Apr 25, 2018 09:46
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A classic. I prefer to fold a few squares and just wriggle them around inside me until less poop appears each time.
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Apr 25, 2018 09:46
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Spray the hell out of it with the high pressure hose, wipe front to back to dry/make sure I got everything. If your making GBS threads protocol doesn't involve a water-based cleaning step you're walking around with a poo poo encrusted rear end all day, jsyk. If you stepped in dog poo poo with your bare feet you wouldn't just smear it all over the place with some tissue paper, right? e. beaten on the dog poo poo comparison but yeah, seriously
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Apr 25, 2018 10:20
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The Big Word posted:If your making GBS threads protocol doesn't involve a water-based cleaning step you're walking around with a poo poo encrusted rear end all day Your point? 
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Apr 25, 2018 10:25
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I mean, .....yeah! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY7m4KzYR4Q
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Apr 25, 2018 11:23
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 https://www.amazon.com/Premium-Stainless-Bathroom-Handheld-Sprayer/dp/B01A9A9MUO/ buy one of these you filthy animals, and never walk around with a poo poo-encrusted crack ever again. After a day of using it you will wonder why, as a society, we think it's acceptable to merely smear poo poo over our skin instead of washing it away. Seriously, order it now and install it in your bathroom. It will change your life. Bardeh fucked around with this message at 13:06 on Apr 25, 2018 |
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Apr 25, 2018 13:04
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Theophany posted:Also there was the bodybuilding.com one where the guy tried to piss and poo poo with an erection. He helpfully illustrated the entire ordeal in mspaint IIRC. It was a first date with a girl it was amazing.
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Apr 25, 2018 14:10
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I take a yard or two of paper towels spun into a "rope" that I pull back and forth between my rear end cheeks (like when cartoon characters dry themselves after bathing)
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Apr 25, 2018 15:08
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vyst posted:It was a first date with a girl it was amazing. Would like 2 know more pls
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Apr 25, 2018 15:40
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Statutory Ape posted:Would like 2 know more pls https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136817203 e: that isn't the original, hence all the posts calling it out as a repost. Theophany fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Apr 25, 2018 |
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Apr 25, 2018 15:43
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 06:37 |
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I wipe my rear end with pomp and circumstance.
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Apr 25, 2018 15:57
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