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Is Sami Zayn a good friend?
This poll is closed.
[Truth] Yes 61 56.48%
[Truth] No, but only because I'm a monster 4 3.70%
[Lie] No 3 2.78%
[Lie] I'm Sami Zayn 40 37.04%
Total: 108 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
  • Locked thread
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________

Raw Results
  • Roman Reigns came out to boos and demanded Jinder Mahal to come out and face him. Kurt Angle came out and said no, and announced the main event was Jinder vs Bobby Lashley vs Elias for a spot in Money in the Bank. Roman went looking for Jinder, they fought, and Roman beat him up while the crowd booed.
  • Seth Rollins retained the IC Title in a match against Kevin Owens.
  • Ronda Rousey and Charlotte were featured in a video, Nia Jax showed up and challenged Rousey to a match, Rousey initially turned it down and then accepted. All three were good buddies.
  • Bobby Roode qualified for the MITB Ladder match in a triple threat vs No Way Jose and Baron Corbin.
  • Owens wanted a rematch for the IC Title but Angle turned him down. Angle told an injured Jinder Mahal the main event was still going to happen.
  • Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas - The B Team - defeated Breezango and were initially confused about the fact they won.
  • Ember Moon, Sasha Banks and Nattie defeated the Riott Squad when Nattie made Liv Morgan tap out to the sharpshooter.
  • Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler did a promo calling out the likes of BRAUN and Finn Balor.
  • The Deleters of Worlds defeated The Revival in a tag match.
  • Sasha Banks wished Bayley good luck in her match to qualify for the MITB Ladder match. Bayley thanked her.
  • Sami Zayn declared that Bobby Lashley was hiding something, and he had invited Lashley's sisters to appear on Raw next week and expose him.
  • Alexa Bliss qualified for the MITB Ladder match, pinning Bayley in a match that also featured Mickie James.
  • Mahal left the trainer's room and got attacked by Roman Reigns and speared through a wall.
  • Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler defeated Finn Balor and BRAUN. Finn got pinned after being crotched on the top rope, while outside the ring BRAUN ran his shoulderblock spot through Drew.
  • Kevin Owens replaced Jinder Mahal in the main event triple threat for a spot in the MITB Ladder match. Elias tried to play guitar and sing a song DURING the match.
  • Sami jumped Bobby Lashley to prevent him winning the match, allowing Owens to hit the Frog Splash on Elias and qualify for the MITB ladder match.
  • Raw ended with Kevin and Sami embracing on the ramp, happy and assured of their mutual affection. A rare happy ending :unsmith:
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Renee and Bryan opened the show, with the crowd giving Bryan a gigantic and sustained ovation. He was eventually able to talk and said that it was no longer enough for him to just be back, he wanted to be the best. He intended to scratch and claw his way back to the WWE Championship. Big Cass came out to mock him, and Bryan just absolutely beat the poo poo out of him and made him tap out to a heel hook.
  • The New Day (BIG E and Xavier Woods) defeated The Bar in a tag match where one member of the winning team would be put into the MITB Ladder match. It wasn't immediately announced if that would be BIG E or Xavier (or Kofi?)
  • The Bludgeon Brothers did a promo promising to "cure" those made weak and diseased by friends, family and joy. Their cure is bludgeoning, in a surprising turn of events.
  • Paige was on a phonecall backstage explaining to Carmella she couldn't have a horse-drawn carriage for the Royal Mellabration. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville showed up thinking that Mandy had qualified for the MITB ladder match by beating Becky Lynch last week, but Paige explained the qualifier was tonight featuring both of them and Becky. Not in a handicap match, but a Triple Threat.
  • Renee interviewed AJ Styles backstage about what the PPV match stipulation would be if he beat Shinsuke in their match tonight. AJ joked around about the ridiculous stipulations he could pick and then explained that no matter what it was, there was no way Shinsuke could beat him in the house that AJ Styles built.
  • Andrade "Cien" Almas made his debut with a squash of jobber Jake Constantino. Vega got on the mic afterwards to claim they were disappointed in the quality of the Smackdown locker room and they were here to take over.
  • Rusev and Aiden English were hanging out backstage in a room decorated with Rusev's stuff. English offered up a new song for Rusev to celebrate his victory over Daniel Bryan last week. Lana interupted to explain she had a MITB qualifying match of her own against Billie Kay next week, and thus she and Rusev would both become the first ever Mr. & Mrs. Money in the Bank. English declared that to make it even better, this would happen on Rusev Day!
  • Carmella's "Royal Mellabration" was kicked off by a Royal Crier who introduced Carmella of the Isle of Stanton. Royal Guard Soldiers came out with the belt on a pillow, and then out came Carmella. After a dire promo, Paige came out to a big cheer and introduced Carmella's opponent for MITB: Asuka. Carmella was less than pleased, Asuka was delighted.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura was interviewed by Renee backstage, and she thought he was pretending not to understand english again. He explained he didn't understand her use of the words chance and possibility, because it was a certainty that he would beat AJ, and destroy his face with his knee before taking the belt.
  • Becky defeated Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville, much to the crowd's delight, to qualify for the MITB ladder match. Sonya was the first to break ranks and attack her friend, but Mandy actually dominated stretches of the match before Becky was able to turn an attempted power move into the Disarmer and score a submission victory.
  • Samoa Joe did a promo warning Big Cass of the dangers of running his mouth and then having to face the consequences.
  • The IIconics did a cellphone promo about MITB.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura defeated AJ Styles in the main event to earn the right to name the stipulation for their MITB match. AJ had the match won but almost hit the referee when going for the Forearm. As AJ checked on the ref, Shinsuke faked that he had been kicked on the dick. While the ref was admonishing AJ, Shinsuke hit a Reverse Exploder Suplex and then the Kinshasa to get the pinfall.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 12:54 on May 16, 2018

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

I'm actually catching up on Raw and the Roman/Angle segment was so much worse than it was written. Angle's frustrated, seething"I'm sorry but.... management... aren't letting me give you the chances you truly and genuinely deserve despite constantly failing, losing and getting beaten every week..." was so loving stupid. They are not giving up on trying to make fans think Roman Reigns is basically CM Punk or Daniel Bryan and it's so, so, so stupid and literally everybody but Vince McMahon sees it.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

The sad thing is this isn't even a new problem. WWE (primarily Vince, I'd assume) still seem adamant that the wrestlers are basically props that can be casually and easily swapped in and out of roles and the audience will just buy it because it's THE BRAND that is the true star. When crowds were begging for Daniel Bryan and thought of WWE as not supporting him, WWE took the message of,"We can slot anybody into that role and it will work" and thus we got that awful storyline where THE AUTHORITY was upset and frustrated because Roman Reigns was getting title opportunities. It didn't work then, now they're literally doing it all over again only this time with an even more prominent "the writers are changing the promised storylines because of POLITICS!" bent to it.

Like somebody mentioned earlier, I think it would be hilarious if Roman actually got picked up by Hollywood and dumped WWE just so yet another of their "eggs in one basket" strategies could blow up in their face.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Cavauro posted:

One difference is that Mike & Maria are comedy jobber level talents while Vega and Almas are above it. But i understand that won't stop Vincent

Which, if it happens, would be extra maddening since Almas is basically everything Vince has been looking for in a new Mexican superstar apart from not having the best English in the world (which shouldn't loving matter, especially with Vega there).

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



The fact the corridor behind it was there was bad enough, but leaving the sign up made it even clearer it was put up for the spot in the cheapest way possible.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Lid posted:

I love how that sign is pointing to catering and locker rooms so Roman actually helped.

Roman is a hungry man and he wasn't letting no wall get in his way.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Chris James 2 posted:

Congrats Nakamura for getting your only win of the feud

Styles wins, asks for a,"Please stop punching me on the dick" match. After hurried consulting, Paige and Shane inform him this isn't possible.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Smackdown results added. All hail the phantom dick kick!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

MassRafTer posted:

Wow stiff shot at WWE for not having many fans left.

nice :cheers:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

My favorite would be if Carmella was surprisingly cocky until she finally revealed her plan was to have the IIconics jump Asuka, and they both just go,"Haha no way, dude" and scamper away and then Asuka submits Carmella in like 2 seconds.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Rarity posted:

- Birmingham is a garbage tier city, don't ever go there

I liked Birmingham! :shobon:

To be fair, I was there at Christmas time and I was in a nicer (less terrible) area and I spent most of the time traveling OUT of Birmingham to visit other places then coming back to central heating and hot roast meals and also I was deeply in love but so long as you have all those things going for you and you only almost get mugged once then it's not a bad place!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

It's such an insane amount of money I find it unbelievable, but it would crack me up if the story got widely reported enough that it ends up creating a second instance of WWE getting a really good deal but their stock price going down because their stockholders were expecting something ludicrously higher.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

It airs Legion, Atlanta and Fargo which are among the best shows on television today. Also FXX airs It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

sticklefifer posted:

Hey everybody, happy MAY 19TH IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!

You guys think 20 years ago when Kane told Paul Bearer (PART) of his plan to ultimately destroy the Undertaker, that Paul believed him when he said becoming Mayor of Knox County was a vitally important step in the process?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Gatts posted:

So I’m an idiot. It’s some dude who goes by daniiel bryan. Laugh at me.



But seriously that's actually really kinda adorable, man :3:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

I like Cass, I just wish he wasn't (and he probably won't be any more) involved in the Daniel Bryan return because it was a really bad pairing and did neither of them any favors.

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Man, 1990s Shawn Michaels wore some pretty bizarre outfits.

  • Locked thread