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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
First a word from our Sponsor. Did you know that South Korea has more modern Russian Tanks than North Korea? They got a job lot of T80U MBTs in the mid-1990s in exchange for halving Russia's debt to them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HE-uZh968I

Welcome to South Korea! The half of the Korean peninsula that isn't a hereditary dictatorship. You may know them for K-pop and similar musical innovations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0

South Korea hosted the World Cup, or at least half of one, back in 2002. They are the most successful Asian team at the World Cup, with 9 consecutive appearances (ten overall) and reached the semi-finals in their home event. Sadly for them, Italy, perennial loser to either Korea at the World Cup, didn't make it this time. Nonetheless, they are traditionally a very tidy, solid outfit with some real talent, not least the most expensive Asian football player in history, the current Asian international player of the year, only two-time winner and only four-time podium finisher for that award, the perpetually smiling Son Hueng-Min.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWkV9mnztjI

In addition to being a dangerous scorer and creator of goals, his celebratory secret handshake game is on point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIEOnmwT5s4

The football team is nicknamed the 'Taegeuk Warriors', 'Taegeuk' translating as 'Supreme Ultimate' and being the name of the symbol at the heart of the South Korean flag, the interlocking circle of red and blue.

Korean names are given family name first, and 50% of the South Korean population go by Kim, Lee or Park. On to the team:



Goalkeepers: Kim Seung-gyu (Vissel Kobe), Kim Jin-hyeon (Cerezo Osaka), Cho Hyun-woo (Daegu FC)

Defenders: Kim young-gwon (Guangzhou Evergrande), Jang Hyun-soo (FC Tokyo), Jung Seung-hyun (Sagan Tosu), Yun Yong-sun (Seongnam FC), Oh Ban-suk (Jeju United), Kim Min-woo (Sangju Sangmu), Park Joo-ho (Ulsan Hyundai), Hong Chul (Sangju Sangmu), Go Yo-han (FC Seoul), Lee Yong (Jeonbuk Hyundai Motors)

Midfielders: Ki Sung-yueng (Swansea City), Jung Woo-young (Vissel Kobe), Ju Se-jong (Asan Mugunghwa FC), Koo Ja-cheol (FC Augsburg), Lee Jae-sung (Jeonbuk Hyundai Motors), Lee Seung-woo (Hellas Verona), Moon Seon-min (Incheon United)

Forwards: Kim Shin-wook (Jeonbuk Hyundai Motors), Son Heung-min (Tottenham Hotspur), Hwang Hee-chan (FC Red Bull Salzburg)

Save for the star striker, I have not yet seen these players in action. If you can imagine I've provided some intriguing and insightful commentary on each of them, we both walk away happier. Google the names or look them up on wikipedia for further details if you're so inclined, but that's the best I could hope to provide you in any case.

Fixtures

Sweden: Monday, June 18
Mexico: Saturday, June 23
Germany: Wednesday, June 27

They barely made it through qualifying owing to a ropey defence. Given those opponents, they're probably hosed.

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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
South Korea just drew 0-0 with Bolivia. Not a good sign.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
The Taeguek Warriors just got tonked by Senegal 2-0 behind closed doors in Austria, losing to a Kim Young-Gwon own goal and a last minute penalty.

Anyone want to support them? Anyone?

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

They are not the best korea

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
"I think we're the weakest team in our group." - Son Hueng-min.

gtkor
Feb 21, 2011

I mean id be pretty low too, if I realized this was basically my last shot at avoiding military service, and the team sucked.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

quote:

Four years ago, Son dyed his hair yellow and competed at the World Cup. When asked why he didn't change his hair color for this year's World Cup, Son said he just wants to get attention with his performance.

"Whether you dye your hair or not, it's the same," he said. "Four years ago, I just thought I needed something to be more stylish, so I dyed my hair. But now, as a football player, I think that I need to make my name with my performance."

Good luck Son

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/BrazilStat/status/1008355283209515013
:biotruths:

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005


Ah so.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Good news for South Korea, it turns out Germany is a garbage fire and the group has been thrown wide open! I am whirling my Bucheon scarf wildly

lilljonas
May 6, 2007

We got crabs? We got crabs!

Byolante posted:

Good news for South Korea, it turns out Germany is a garbage fire and the group has been thrown wide open! I am whirling my Bucheon scarf wildly

Bad news for South Korea, it turns out they lost to Sweden.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
0-1 loss to Sweden. That was their easiest game in the group. Sweden were largely better, but had very little cutting edge. Definite penalty for the goal. Next up, Mexico. Can the Taegeuk Warriors succeed where Germany failed?

Probably not.

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

Their offense didn't look good at all. I don't have high hopes at all for this team.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire
Worst team contest is now open to South Korea and Saudi Arabia....will Panama or Tunisia challenge???

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Gigi Galli posted:

Worst team contest is now open to South Korea and Saudi Arabia....will Panama or Tunisia challenge???

I dunno GG imo losing 1-0 to a VAR penalty is nowhere near as bad as getting stomped 5-0 by Russia

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

To lose back to back games on penalties would be some drat bullshit.

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
South Korea is quite poo poo.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Hell of a goal from Son Hueng Min, but not enough. As I type, Germany are trailing Sweden, which would knock the Taeguek Warriors out of the World Cup. Their only hope is that the miserable wastemen of Germany can claw back a win from a goal down against the Scandinavians. If not, the South Koreans in 3rd would have a dead rubber against Germany in 4th.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

AJ_Impy posted:

Hell of a goal from Son Hueng Min, but not enough. As I type, Germany are trailing Sweden, which would knock the Taeguek Warriors out of the World Cup. Their only hope is that the miserable wastemen of Germany can claw back a win from a goal down against the Scandinavians. If not, the South Koreans in 3rd would have a dead rubber against Germany in 4th.
Hello there!

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
The Taeguek Warriors are still in it, then. They need to beat Germany, have Mexico beat Sweden, and have a better goal difference than Germany and Sweden. Easy.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Gigi Galli posted:

Worst team contest is now open to South Korea and Saudi Arabia....will Panama or Tunisia challenge???

Imaghine being the USA right now watching Panama get curb stomped 6-1 by england and knowing you are worse.

pik_d
Feb 24, 2006

follow the white dove





TRP Post of the Month October 2021

Byolante posted:

Imaghine being the USA right now watching Panama get curb stomped 6-1 by england and knowing you are worse.

Feels good man

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

K-Pop is already insanely popular in my city, and this will only make it more powerful

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker

AJ_Impy posted:

The Taeguek Warriors are still in it, then. They need to beat Germany, have Mexico beat Sweden, and have a better goal difference than Germany and Sweden. Easy.

South Korea held up their part of the bargain, Mexico did them no favours. South Korea have beaten the world champions 2-0 and knocked them out of the World Cup. Sadly not enough to progress further.

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



ephex
Nov 4, 2007





PHWOAR CRIMINAL

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



I think by the transitive property SK are now world champions?! Nice.

nutri_void
Apr 18, 2015

I shall devour your soul.
Grimey Drawer

ChainsawCharlie posted:

I think by the transitive property SK are now world champions?! Nice.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unofficial_Football_World_Championships

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

I wish that they had played like this throughout their time at the WC.

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frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
https://twitter.com/Rantaramic/status/1012077760989356033

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