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orcinus posted:Gedankenexperiment time. We’re going to find out. My bet is there will be a delay every other day due to wheel whomping.
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Dec 19, 2018 16:50
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I hope they open it up to the public purely because someone will manage to flip their Tesla within about 20 minutes, slot car bumpers be damned.
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Dec 19, 2018 19:39
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Oh man. just imagine Tesla’s autopilot trying to navigate a fork in the tunnel at 150mph, or entry/exit points. That thing will be nothing but carnage the instant it’s open to the public. If it ever is. E: V they tried to run a fast lap at the Nurburgring and it overheated within a minute and switched over to limp-home mode. red19fire has issued a correction as of 20:35 on Dec 21, 2018 |
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Dec 21, 2018 20:16
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etalian posted:lol at trying to sell people on the idea that brakes will last for the whole life of the car. ‘Never replace’ brake pads do exist, but they’re the biggest scam in the world. They’re so hard that they take material off the brake rotor, which has to be replaced at 5x the cost of new brake pads.
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Dec 27, 2018 03:57
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FAUXTON posted:Oh my god I've never heard of something so dumb but now I am convinced like never before in my life that these are what Elon is talking about It’s a symptom of people believing brake pads and other wear items are a scam by their mechanic. ‘what do you mean $700 for brake pads?!? I’ve only driven 60,000 miles!’ is how it starts.
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Dec 27, 2018 07:56
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Myron Baloney posted:"But then, the point of this whole program is to incentivize owners to do their own selling, give their own test drives, and perhaps take a little bit of the work off Tesla’s hands in doing those things So if this is Tesla’s attempt to give some additional incentive for utilizing the “owner-salesman” network, it could work."  He’s just a few steps away from an MLM scam.
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Dec 27, 2018 16:44
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FAUXTON posted:I'm gonna repeat my prior suggestion of "Special Edison" Special Edsel  quote:Ford invested heavily in a yearlong teaser campaign leading consumers to believe that the Edsel was the car of the future – an expectation it failed to meet. After it was unveiled to the public, it was considered to be unattractive, overpriced, and overhyped. The Edsel never gained popularity with contemporary American car buyers and sold poorly.
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Jan 4, 2019 08:39
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Would it be possible to sell or make after market suspension components for Tesla’s? Surely the kind of rube that would buy a model 3 could also be enticed to buy a wompy wheel replacement kit made of non-cast aluminum?
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Jan 13, 2019 20:27
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ChaseSP posted:Going off memory, I just remember them being brown skinned and seemingly oiled up despite being at a war siege, and it was amazing. Brown and oiled up, you say?
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Jan 18, 2019 17:19
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Is it a decades-old scam used by a relatively young company, or a decades-old company that's been using the same scam for decades? Could be Tesla, could be Trump
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Jan 22, 2019 22:52
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BEAR GRYLLZ posted:he founded it but had the sense back then to actually hire on a bunch of good people Wait, I thought Musk just bought the company, and as part of his hostile takeover and Tony Stark PR campaign, made the actual founder change the founding documents to name Musk as cofounder? I know it was somewhere earlier in this thread. It’s part of the story of Elon as this dumb rich failson who just buys his way into this Savior Of Humanity grift.
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Jan 27, 2019 18:07
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OMGVBFLOL posted:ill watch neither. all i remember about the coverage was a shitload of rich people being briefly exposed to the tamest version of mild, developed-world poverty and it becoming an international news event and high-profile class action lawsuit, and how it made me really glad i didn’t own a gun or have access to explosives. it’s probably not a state of mind that’s healthy for me to revisit. ‘My dad’s private jet landed and there wasn’t any champagne on the runway as promised and then the villa didn’t have air conditioning and we had to eat cold cut sandwiches.’ I just want to hear their bones crack.
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Feb 3, 2019 20:10
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I vaguely remember one of those blind items being about one of his Tesla plants having a full meth lab in it, and supposedly paid off the local sheriff. Which I guess means Elon finished Breaking Bad and is now watching Narcos.
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Feb 4, 2019 21:05
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Bulgakov posted:is also youtube star so prolly got internal priority over the shlubs He’s yet another ‘filmmaker/director/creative’ on YouTube who only makes camera gear review videos. He was also rightfully roasted on r/blackpeopletwitter for posting his own tweets as comedy gold.
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Feb 16, 2019 20:38
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Sudden Loud Noise posted:The last claim to fame of Elon's AI was a DotA bot that completely broke after like 20 minutes playing the worst pro team. Wasn’t there also some insane ruleset the human team had to abide by in order to make it ‘fair’ for the AI? Like the humans have to play as jaws and the computer gets to be oddjob. In goldeneye terms.
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Feb 21, 2019 09:46
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Ytlaya posted:Yeah, they may not take ad revenue but I always got the impression they really wanted to like Tesla and were heavily baised in their favor. It wasn't until the issues reached the point where they were impossible to ignore that they were forced to withdraw the recommendation. They would mention some of the bad things, but downplay them. My dad won’t buy a car unless it has a nigh-pristine rating from CR. It’s weird that they would give the model 3 a recommendation, because reliability is based on self-reports from Tesla owners and has to have a minimum of 3 years of data. But I guess since it was a new model, they piggyback the general reliability of other cars in the lineup and make a conjecture as to future reliability. Like the Mini Cooper S was Not Recommended due to poor reliability despite being made by BMW. However, when the Honda Element came out it was almost immediately recommended, because every other car Honda makes has bulletproof reliability. Personally I would bet on Tesla owners under-reporting repairs and flaws to CR and mashing the 5/5 LOVE THE CAR owner satisfaction column. IIRC my dad even said the CR article on the model 3 brushed off loose/missing bolts and terrible fit & finish as ‘growing pains’ of a new car company. Everything will be fixed with a firmware update so don’t worry about the door being crooked! Even with the Tesla being hand picked, inspected and delivered by Tesla for their tests they still found f&f problems with it. Whereas every other car has to be in ‘average off-the-lot’ condition consumers can expect to find at a dealership. It’s like they got a D on a take home, open book test.
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Feb 21, 2019 20:13
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Eox posted:yeah thats not weird at all Qwijib0 posted:all of CR's reliability scores are based on owners of those products self-reporting. How else would you source years' worth of data from a statistically significant percentage of a product made. Yes, this is what I meant. CR subscribers self report on the cars they own every 6 months to a year: major repairs, f&f issues at purchase, reliability issues such as bringing it in for the same repair repeatedly, etc. I think it’s a survey card that comes with the first issue of the year. I also think the model 3 report was skewed because the first one or two Tesla’s were actually well made luxury cars with great dealership support.
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Feb 22, 2019 07:29
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Katt posted:Found the musk sockpuppet account. I’m the Tesla crash flowchart that only has two options for ‘car loses control and burns occupant alive’: 1. drunk 2. wheels fell off
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Feb 25, 2019 16:07
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:I know this is obvious but that line in that comic about it handling like a Ferrari is objectively and quantifiably incorrect and I loving hate these loving people. Your loving car is a loving pig that weighs more than most heavy duty work vehicles you loving rube. I love the bazingas that gloss over Tesla’s having the worst performance ever at Nurburgring because they overheat and go into limp home mode after about 2 turns into a lap. Suddenly the only thing that matters is 0-60 times.
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Feb 25, 2019 22:55
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Raldikuk posted:The only tech they have worth a drat is the battery management poo poo that makes having thousands of vape batteries possible. Other manufacturers just skip the whole vape battery part. So yeh, all of their tech is absolutely worthless. I thought their transmission system was supposed to be pretty great. Like, Tesla could have been a legit company if they had just patented the transmission/drivetrain technology and licensed it to other car manufacturers. But Phony Stark decided they should use that tech to build an entire car, and here we are.
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Feb 26, 2019 19:45
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TheDon01 posted:Mazda B is gone aren’t they only in 4 door monster truck size nowadays? I had a 2 door frontier that was a tank, drove coast to coast nonstop in 4 days. Truly a car deserving of love.
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Feb 28, 2019 05:41
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Bushiz posted:Maybe? whoever buys the husk of the company and it's assets might have an obligation to continue to provide service to existing cars for an amount of time, but it will likely become even more difficult to service. You could see a cottage industry pop up of people retrofitting teslas with commonly available (and more reliable) components, jailbreaking, and every other thing once the tesla servers are shut down (though knowing tesla, the server shut down will brick every tesla on earth) Just imagine all the bazingas trying to solder thousands of vape batteries to refurbish their Tesla battery packs in 2-3 years and burning their houses down  However, if the Volvo batteries are user replaceable I bet there will be a movement towards adapting those instead. Or a cottage industry of replacing all the wompy wheel components and weak cast aluminum suspension parts.
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Mar 1, 2019 19:57
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Day Man posted:There are a variety of electric motorcycles that cost less than 19k, too Or, even a $4k motorcycle will out perform a Tesla in almost every respect, and you could keep it running basically forever with basic tools in your own garage. Also you can do wheelies and flick cigarettes at nerds in teslas 
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Mar 3, 2019 19:57
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Rorobb posted:Just to throw some more gasoline on the speculation fire, I heard a really funny anecdote about Elon yesterday. 0% reason to believe this is true but it sounds right, so why not spread it. This seems like something Elon would read about and try to instate in the most brain dead way possible. For example, up until recently it was tradition that the president of Leica cameras had to assemble a complete camera by hand and keep it on his desk. And possibly other members of the board did as well. I also remember a story about the president of Honda's motorcycle division who started as a lowly factory work celebrated his promotion by spending a day or so assembling a complete motorcycle and riding it around the factory. The metaphor is about the guy at the top understanding what makes the product special and the work the employees put into making each product. Elon, as a detestable rich cocksucker, will never be like that.
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Mar 3, 2019 21:17
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Someone paraphrase the tweets for those of us without lightning fast twitter reflexes.
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Mar 4, 2019 02:11
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FistEnergy posted:Forget closing all the Tesla stores in a few weeks or months, they're doing it today There's a Tesla store in the rich-people mall near me, I should go see if that's been shuttered yet. Also in case it hasn't been posted yet: http://www.thedrive.com/news/26727/tesla-had-3-times-as-many-osha-violations-as-the-10-largest-us-plants-combined "Tesla had 3 times as many OSHA violations as the 10 largest US plants combined" And remember that's just what Elon and his security goons have allowed to be reported 
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Mar 4, 2019 20:26
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steinrokkan posted:I'm no engineer, why does Tesla have a giant scoop dominating its undercarriage again? I believe it’s part of the ‘aerodynamics’ package. But as explained above, it’s a flat panel that will bow in the middle if driven anywhere with precipitation. Once bowed it will scoop up water, dirt and debris which will rest against the frame and cause premature rust. But hey, move fast and break things, right friends? I am loving the new business model. 3 year old model 3’s will rust apart faster than an old VW Beetle, so the buyer has no choice but to get a new one because doing otherwise would admit defeat. Elon has once again revolutionized the auto industry, demand for new Model 3’s will be a constant.
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Mar 6, 2019 18:14
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Trip report: as suspected, the largest Tesla store inside the garden state plaza mall in north NJ is shuttered. There's a few teslas scattered inside the mall, and it looks like the store still has the cars inside. I wonder what will happen to them.
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Mar 7, 2019 00:34
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Internet-only sales for a car is so dumb. I guess I could understand shuttering your brick & mortar store if you're getting crushed by amazon. But the test drive is such an intrinsic part of the car buying process. Is he really banking on people buying these cars sight unseen? I wonder if ol' musky will demand his acolytes make their cars available to test drive for anyone who's interested. Like Lyft, but for test driving teslas.
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Mar 7, 2019 03:01
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My stock ticker says Tesla is up 1% to 278 today, so I guess this announcement is somehow clawing back lost value? Isn't laying off everyone you can profit pumping 101 though? No way this can be sustainable. But how many years have we been saying that by now? Hell dimension is relentlessly unfair.
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Mar 8, 2019 15:41
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I think a fun meme for Elon would be to use his dad’s apartheid blood jewels to pay off the debts of his detractors. You hear that Elon? I WOULD BE TOTALLY OWNED if $18k’s worth of rubies showed up in the mail.
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Mar 14, 2019 07:29
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FCKGW posted:
This is like the Porsche rear passenger seats that are essentially useless if you’re taller than 5’2”.
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Mar 15, 2019 18:58
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COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:80% parts commonality- with the undeliverable models 3 that are sitting out in the desert In the coming apocalypse, the Tesla dorks are going to be like Burgess Meredith in that twilight zone episode where he breaks his glasses. Surrounded by spare parts they can't use, and don't have the mechanical aptitude to install if they could. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAxARJyaTEA
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Mar 16, 2019 09:25
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Tesla Thread: autopilot: take my wife, please!
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Mar 17, 2019 16:37
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I don’t know if it’s been mentioned yet but HBO has a new documentary on Theranos, if you’re in need of a Silicon Valley crash & burn story.
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Mar 19, 2019 05:15
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The last time I saw an LCD display leak was a Tiger Electronics bowling game I left on the dashboard of my parents car on a 100 degree day.
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Mar 25, 2019 16:11
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Maybe instead of running a second company into the ground, Ol' Musky should focus on proving his child size waterproof coffin can make it all the way through those caves in Thailand, as promised.
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Mar 26, 2019 16:32
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I think it’s an urban legend but I remember something about Japanese tourists crashing rental cars in the 80s because ‘cruise control’ was poorly translated to automatic pilot. One story in particular was a guy putting an RV on cruise on a straight highway, then going to sleep in the back, and the RV flipping over an embankment when it finally hit a curve.
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Apr 7, 2019 06:00
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an actual frog posted:Am I seeing things or does it get confused and hesitate here? Is that it just losing traction because Poor Tesla, saw a random streak of mud on the road and killed everyone inside.
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Apr 10, 2019 20:56
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bring back old gbs posted:because musk hasnt killed a senators brother yet We need to figure out how to convince trumpito that he can own the libs by having his lovely kids driven around in teslas with autopilot on 24/7.
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Apr 12, 2019 17:00
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