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I got a toddler. She cool.
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Aug 5, 2018 05:44
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My wife wants to have a baby so we're doing it unprotected but I don't think I'll like it so I'm wishing I'm infertile. But I'm probably not, statistically. Some one tell me it'll be alright.
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Aug 5, 2018 06:37
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Also these things cost more than a Ferrari?! I feel like I'd prefer the Ferrari.
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Aug 5, 2018 06:39
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Finally, what they are twins and one supports Israel and the other one doesn't?! How do you settle that sibling rivalry, as a parent?
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Aug 5, 2018 06:49
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What’s fun is when they hit around 12-13 and shift between being impressive as hell to you wanting to murder them in 10 minutes time.
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Aug 5, 2018 06:52
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I don’t have a tv anymore, it just shows a lot of Sesame Street for the little one. I’m at the point where i actually enjoy Sesame Street, I think I’ve been brainwashed.
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Aug 5, 2018 07:44
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TheReverend posted:My wife wants to have a baby so we're doing it unprotected but I don't think I'll like it so I'm wishing I'm infertile. Always have a secret wank before coitus to keep the troops depleted.
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Aug 5, 2018 07:44
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My mom is super disappointed in me for having not knocked up a lady yet. She's the only one out of her like two dozen mormon siblings to not have a grandchild yet and everyone makes me feel super bad for not contributing to runaway overpopulation. She's recently passed the line between from "Acts so excited to see a family member with a baby that she's borderline rude to them, getting them out of the way between her and the baby, but like in a cute, tongue in cheek way" into "Acts so excited to see a family member with a baby that she's straight up rude to them, getting them out of the way between her and the baby, but it's seriously and it's not funny anymore". She practically pushed a family member out of a doorway when they stopped by a few months ago, so she could go past them and look into the car window to see the sleeping baby in there. Like they didn't even get a hello first, just "What's the baby?" *zoom*. It makes me sad because otherwise she's a really good person, and it makes me sadder because most of the family probably blames me for the behavior.  Anyways, that's all I have to say about kids. Sorry if you read the entire thing.
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Aug 5, 2018 10:11
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Is it wrong to help your kids with their homework? When I was a kid my mom and dad refused to help me, because then it wouldn't be the grade I earned myself. I thought this was dumb. I know a helicopter mom who sits down with her two kids and basically does their worksheets for them, and homework isn't "done" until everything is 100% right, according to her. This is dumb too. Something in between should exist but it probably doesn't. Also I have no idea how this absurd system they're using for division and multiplication works now so I couldn't help if I wanted to.
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Aug 5, 2018 21:47
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Tom Gorman posted:Is it wrong to help your kids with their homework? I think if they ask for help, help. But let them to most of the work. I did some light substitute teaching years ago and it's a great feeling when you stand in front of a class of 10 year olds and are supposed to teach them division, then you look a the book and realize that they've invented a whole new way of doing division and you have no idea what's going on.
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Aug 6, 2018 05:11
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I got 3 kids, one of each. They're doing alright and seem to be happy enough so I guess good job, dad! It's kinda nice when they move out because then life gets a bit less expensive.
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Aug 6, 2018 05:29
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My nephew calls me the cool uncle so that's nice 
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Aug 6, 2018 05:35
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kids are filled to the brim with tiny pristine organs.
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Aug 13, 2018 15:03
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I love my niece. She’s the only child I can tolerate and she’s very smart for her age
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Aug 13, 2018 15:11
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My kid rules but unfortunately he also makes me extremely tired and sometimes when he's enthusiastically walking around and grabbing at stuff I just lay down on the rug and make sure he doesn't hurt himself from a distance.
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Aug 13, 2018 15:17
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Jose Mengelez posted:kids are filled to the brim with tiny pristine organs. By the time my kids are old enough to donate organs I'll be so old that asking for parts would be gauche 
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Aug 13, 2018 15:34
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a mysterious cloak posted:My son on the way home from day care once: "Yeah, splash day was so fun! Mia got water up her nose. You know what, papa? I really like cake." I work with children and this poo poo is a lot of fun. Almost verbatim quote: "Then, we got to watch Moana, and there was a big fire guy! Then, me and Tim went to Medieval times! I didn't see him for two weeks because he got brain swelling  "
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Aug 13, 2018 15:41
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Jose Mengelez posted:kids are filled to the brim with tiny pristine organs. slow your roll hillary
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Aug 13, 2018 16:37
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My favorite line was from my nephew when I took him to Science World in Vancouver. There's a section devoted to Body Science, and near the front they have two very plain, stylized art pieces of male and female bodies. As we passed them he points to the male piece, right at the crotch, and says "A man". We then pass the female piece, again he points at the crotch, but does a double take when there is no bulge like there was on the male piece. He then screams out at the top of his lungs "WHERE'S THE PENIS?!"
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Aug 13, 2018 17:45
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My four-year-old daughter is the queen of sick-rear end burns. She comes into the room crying, and says "I don't like mommy, I want to stay with you." and I'm like "why, what's wrong?" and she says "Mommy's too ugly" and I'm like  Another time she's laughing and I say "what are you laughing at?" and she says "You look funny, like a clown" 
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Aug 13, 2018 18:29
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Arrhythmia posted:I work with children and this poo poo is a lot of fun. Almost verbatim quote: "Then, we got to watch Moana, and there was a big fire guy! Then, me and Tim went to Medieval times! I didn't see him for two weeks because he got brain swelling Did they make Tim fight The Mountain or something
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Aug 13, 2018 18:38
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poorlifedecision posted:My kid rules but unfortunately he also makes me extremely tired and sometimes when he's enthusiastically walking around and grabbing at stuff I just lay down on the rug and make sure he doesn't hurt himself from a distance. This is better anyway, no need to be a helicopter parent. I once saw in a play area in a mall, three women (mom, aunt, grandma) playing for a boy while I let my toddler daughter, about the same age, climb, slide, run, and do whatever she wanted to. I say they were playing for him because this poor kid was just passively there while they walked him up the steps, and held him all the way down the slide, never letting the kid have a moment's relief.
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Aug 13, 2018 19:17
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turn left hillary!! noo posted:This is better anyway, no need to be a helicopter parent. That sounds more like one of those situations where everyone is passive aggressively trying to prove they are the very best guardian for the kids safety
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Aug 13, 2018 19:21
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I'm almost 32, my brother's 30, and my sister is 26 and none of us have kids. My mom doesn't care all that much, even though the entire side of her family is full of grandchildren. My dad definitely doesn't care. It's pretty cool not feeling pressured by rear end in a top hat families to have kids.
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Aug 13, 2018 19:35
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Kids are the worst because other parents are the worst humans.
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Aug 13, 2018 19:47
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Everyone I know that has a baby wants me to hold their baby. I don't like holding babies, which for some reason, makes them insist even more that I hold their baby. "Hold one, you'll want one of your own!" I seriously doubt that, but I'm not taking any chances.
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Aug 13, 2018 20:26
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Jay_Zombie posted:Everyone I know that has a baby wants me to hold their baby. I don't like holding babies, which for some reason, makes them insist even more that I hold their baby. gently caress that noise. I have plenty of practice and still manage to bang their heads on door frames etc on the reg. No way am i holding anyone else's.
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Aug 13, 2018 20:31
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I really don't understand the insistence that people have that you hold their babies. I don't hate babies but I've held a bunch of them and it's not special, it just feels like someones like "hold this priceless vase that you will go to jail for forever if you drop it despite not asking to hold it". Hold your own loving baby, I have no attachment to it. All babies are exactly the same and I have experienced it Like I'm polite about it and everything but it's so odd
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Aug 13, 2018 20:45
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Jay_Zombie posted:Everyone I know that has a baby wants me to hold their baby. I don't like holding babies, which for some reason, makes them insist even more that I hold their baby. spike it like a football.
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Aug 13, 2018 20:45
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Jose Mengelez posted:spike it like a football. I would have also accepted "drop it like it's hot".
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Aug 13, 2018 20:58
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turn left hillary!! noo posted:This is better anyway, no need to be a helicopter parent. my daughter’s two best friends have moms who are constantly telling their 2 year olds what they can and can’t do at the playground while I just sit there and let my daughter do her thing. One of them now constantly looks to her mom for permission to do just about anything challenging and the other seems to be starting to have behavioral issues cuz she can’t deal and is always getting very emotional. I can already see the anxiety issues developing. I think they think I’m too permissive but as a result I now have a fairly chill, curious, and confident daughter who can discover her own limits, play well with others and is just fun to be around. These people..
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Aug 13, 2018 21:32
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my kid is five and is exhausting as hell to take care of because he wakes up at like 6am every day no matter what, has boundless energy, and asks me non-stop rapid fire ridiculous questions all day that are mostly impossible to answer. but he's healthy, happy, has a smile and a laugh that's completely infectious, and explores the world around him with a curiosity and eagerness that is so wholesome it would melt even the most frozen heart.
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Aug 13, 2018 21:38
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I have no kids and three money. But the kid of a family friend is extremely outgoing and friendly and has NO concept of stranger danger. I walked into their house and sat down for a drink and she just climbed right the gently caress into my lap despite not knowing who I was, then everyone laughed at me because I froze up and was like 'What the gently caress am I supposed to do with this?' I gave her a pretzel and she left to go make her barbies fight which is pretty good.
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Aug 13, 2018 21:42
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little kids are proof that man is by nature cool and good.
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Aug 13, 2018 21:48
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look at those fools who think kids are good... I had myself chemically castrated so I would never have them... stupid breeders bringing the human race closer to extinction by having too many crotchspawn... I have my fur-babies anyway and I'm perfectly happy... why would you want a stupid, screaming child who poops everywhere and fills the house with smile and laught- I mean who is super dumb and ugly and a waste of money... the liters of alcohol, coffee and antidepressants I ingest everyday are just here to make my life even better no come back, I need to tell you how stupid having kids is when netflix and video games are here to keep you happy!
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Aug 13, 2018 21:59
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cardiacarrest123 posted:little kids are proof that man is by nature cool and good.
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Aug 13, 2018 22:17
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cardiacarrest123 posted:little kids are proof that man is by nature cool and good. are you making GBS threads me. the average child is a sociopathic narcissist by default unless you help them develop their sense of empathy, socialize them, and provide a strong set of boundaries to mold good behavior like my kids are wonderful and i love to be around them but it takes a lot of work to develop a kid so that they don't end up as a screaming monster like most adults are underneath their veneer of civility Bardeh posted:my kid is five and is exhausting as hell to take care of because he wakes up at like 6am every day no matter what, has boundless energy, and asks me non-stop rapid fire ridiculous questions all day that are mostly impossible to answer. i love this part. you get to re-experience the world like it's new again through them
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Aug 13, 2018 22:42
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Nuclearmonkee posted:are you making GBS threads me. the average child is a sociopathic narcissist by default unless you help them develop their sense of empathy, socialize them, and provide a strong set of boundaries to mold good behavior Too many people don't do this, which is why there are so many assholes running around.
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Aug 13, 2018 22:58
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I love my son and am feeding him chix nugs right now
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Aug 13, 2018 23:02
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 11:56 |
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Creamed Cormp posted:look at those fools who think kids are good... I had myself chemically castrated so I would never have them... stupid breeders bringing the human race closer to extinction by having too many crotchspawn... I have my fur-babies anyway and I'm perfectly happy... why would you want a stupid, screaming child who poops everywhere and fills the house with smile and laught- I mean who is super dumb and ugly and a waste of money... the liters of alcohol, coffee and antidepressants I ingest everyday are just here to make my life even better this but unironically rofl just imagine wanting to be parents to a child rofl
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Aug 13, 2018 23:14
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