Sub-Actuality posted:

lmao at Amorous Bertildou and Barry the Shed Predator

extremebuff posted:

I had a dream that I was working at home depot, and a huge buff dude asked me where something was. I was still new? so I started looking up at the aisles looking for the section, and he goes "okay rear end in a top hat you don't know anything!"

I got pissed and pushed him over as hard as I could, and he was easily twice my size so I realized how stupid that was immediately and tried to run away. Turns out I was wearing OoT Hover Boots so I was just sliding around pathetically with no traction and couldn't gain any speed, the last thing I felt was a mammoth chad handd grab the entire back of my head and I woke up covered in fear sweat

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Larry Parrish posted:

Kind of boring but I had a dream about work where I had disco elysium style internal conversations and then I had a tough skill check involving talking to the director of operations on the phone. Then I woke up all the way and I really was talking to her and I'd just agreed to come in on my day off. So I guess I failed that skill check

Wes Warhammer posted:

last night i had a dream about playing a game where you played as a homeless girl in a hotel. it was billed as an "emotionally impactful" game but the only emotional impact i got was from looking at a painting of a goose

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

Had a dream last night that I was walking along a riverside with two women that I don’t recognize from real life, and fish and eels kept jumping out and sinking their razor-sharp teeth into my arm, one by one. As soon as I pried one’s jaw open and threw it back in the river another would jump out and do the same thing. But I guess it was a video game even though it didn’t really feel like one because I got really mad that “the devs” would code it so that getting bitten by one fish made you more likely to be bitten by another. I tried to ask the women if they thought that it was just straight coded so that one fish attack increased the chances of another or if the cry of pain when one bit me broke stealth and drew others, but they were too occupied trying to get the fish out of my arm to talk, which I guess was nice of them.

Then we went to a department store where I bought an annotated commentary on the biblical book of Acts which I was really excited about.

In Training posted:

Dreamt that I was playing PS2 on one of those multi-tiered TV carts on wheels that was set up precipitously balanced at the edge of a seaside cliff. After playing for a while I switched games and for some reason I had to connect to the internet to play it. Luckily there was an ethernet cable on the ground next to me but it was like 3 inches short of being able to plug in, so I leaned over the cliff and started tugging on to clear the last space and right before I thought I was going to fall off the cliff the tension gave way and I realized to my horror that it was connected to a low-orbit satellite that I had just pulled through the atmosphere and it exploded on a nearby city.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Playing dragon quest 11 before bed and gently slipped into dreaming about it. I was having a pleasant stroll through the Dundrasil area and slimes were hopping around peacefully. Then I realised I hadn't camped for ages and my characters would be starving, because you can only feed them at camp, so I frantically looked through the menu and my only party member was my dog. he had zero HP and his title was "dead because of you" and the priest wouldn't bring him back because his spirit was too sad to return to me.

Arrhythmia posted:

Dreamt last night that I was 2 feet tall, wandering around the house of a guy named Mr. Sun, who was an extremely powerful man wearing a big foam sun hat. I killed his henchmen (mr. Mars and mr. Neptune are the only ones I can remember) before assassinating him by making eye contact in his kitchen. Then I logged on to the imp zone to post that I had just beaten DCSS, before waking up in a coughing fit.

Arrhythmia posted:

I think I was always at home, and killing Mr. Sun was a video game.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I dreamed I was playing/watching some Yakuza related thing and Kiryu was going about his day, but people kept saying to him wistfully "remember the bog times? Ah, Kiryu, the bog times were simpler times..." and things like that, and I was really confused and increasingly irritated because I had no idea what the bog times were.

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream I was playing a survival horror game. The atmosphere was one of absolute stress and terror, but the gameplay was that you had to use a handgun to shoot crusty turds sitting inside toilet bowls. With trembling hands I cleared two, which spawned a gopnik in my home who I had to chase out, which in the dream was the scariest thing to ever happen to me.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

had a dream they announced Darksiders 3 DLC and the pitch was "you've fought the 7 deadly sins... now face the 8th... the Goatse man!" and I remembered I was a consultant on this and was really proud of myself.

Unfortunately, everyone hated it, and I had to lock down my Twitter because the trolls and haters immediately started calling me a "2004 rear end honky" and "crude shock value that has destroyed the Darksiders lore forever".

I left the computer to calm down and there was a gang of bikers coming to kill me for turning Darksiders into a joke, because it's an extremely popular franchise with biker gangs and they take it extremely seriously. Thankfully the four riders of the apocalypse came and rescued me in their sick motorbikes and we escaped from the bikers while I hit them with a giant glowing scythe.

I've never played a Darksiders game.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

not as cool as Darksiders 3.

Bicyclops posted:

i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:

in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.

i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.

i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)

i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."

Bicyclops posted:

here's the other gaming dream i had, and then i'm out unless playing the FF7 remake demo makes me dream about video games. it's long, sorry:

some notes: before the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm aired, i wanted to re-watch it, so I was binge-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm for awhile. we also let my son (18 months) have about an hour of screen time, which we mostly use for Sesame Street (the new HBO ones are a 1/2 hour, so doing one in the morning to keep him calm while we're making his breakfast and one just before dinner, when he tends to get cranky. one day we had skipped the breakfast episode and he kept pointing to the PS4 controller shouting "Beep! Beep!" and reaching for it, so i figured, what the hell, i'll let him play video games for 15 minutes. i looked for something that would be age-appropriate and found Kingdom Hearts, and he was enthralled. once it got to the combat, he was actually playing the game. it locks onto the enemies, so he was just mashing X and killing all the little shadow guys and having the time of his life. at one point he used a potion. he was too upset when we had to stop for me to do again, so that's been his only video game experience but i had several days of swelling with dad gamer pride.

during the curb binge and shortly after my son's first time really playing video games, i had a dream in which HBO, because of the backlash from them acquiring a public access show, decided to release a free video game on the PS4 that was just the game parts of the Elmo's World segment on Sesame Street. there was a published harvard study that showed that playing the game made toddlers smarter and happier than toddlers who didn't play the game, so i was excited to be a responsible parent and still play video games with my kid. if you're like me and you hadn't seen the show since you were a child, Elmo's World is like a third of Sesame Street now and apparently has been for like 30 years. there's a part where he says "let's play a game together" and then plays a game that looks sort of like an i-pad game where kid voices yell at him Blues Clues style about how he should play. there's a segment with a clown named Mr. Noodle where elmo asks Mr. Noodle to do something and Mr. Noodle gets it clownishly wrong while the children's voices laugh at how stupid he is.

at the beginning, it was basically just the elmo's world games, and my son was having a blast, learning all new words and suddenly speaking to me in complete sentences, saying things like "elmo is ffunny. i like video games. can we play video games more tomorrow?" he was solving all of elmo's puzzles and laughing and laughing, and i was extremely happy. then elmo said "Let's see how Mr. Noodle plays video games. Ohhhhh, Misterrrrrrrrr Nooooooooooodllllllllllle!" and the game transitioned to putting Mr Noodle in the place of Mario in the original Super Mario Bros. he did his big clown motions as he stumbled toward the first goomba, and then mugged at the camera and slapped his cheeks like in Home Alone when the goomba ran into him, and he shuffled his arms as he leaped up and fell off the bottom of the screen.

my son looked at me in horror and started bawling. "elmo killed Mr. Noodle!!" he said. i tried to reassure him that it was just pretend, but he was wailing and wailing and just kept saying "elmo killed Mr. Noodle!" and pointing at the controller and saying "No! no!"

the bedroom door burst open and my wife stormed out, except in the dream, i was married to Susie Green from Curb Your Enthusiasm. "what the gently caress are you doing?" she said. "are you a loving idiot? look at him! He's traumatized! are you letting him play VIDEO GAMES?" i tried to explain about the Harvard study and how he was learning to speak in complete sentences in a day but she just kept yelling and interrupting. my son raised his arms while he cried and said "up, up! mama. i want mama. daddy killed Mr. Noodle." then I started crying, and the Susie-wife lit into me. "oh, now it has to be ALL ABOUT YOU! god forbid your son has a moment to deal with trauma you caused him. i can't even look at you, you skinny little gently caress. get out of my sight!" i tripped on the stairs as i was leaving my own house and woke up.

Bicyclops posted:

sort of feel like i tried to do a trick that involved hopping in the heckran cave portal and surprise some people in Truce Village, but when I popped out to yell "surprise," I landed in 2300 AD

Bicyclops posted:

i had a dream last night that this strange japanese man showed up and told, me in japanese (which i don't speak, but could understand in the dream), that there was a "brick loose in the universe," and that the way it goes back in place is me, personally getting all 120 stars in super mario 64. all the bad stuff that was happening, COVID, etc., was because i hadn't been doing my cosmic duty. i couldn't shake the feeling when i woke up, so i got the last two stars today and actually cried with relief. i've never been so happy to finish a mario game in my life.

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that Kanye West hired me to make a fantasy 4x. He brought me to an old warehouse with faded polka dot wallpaper and introduced me to his team. After introductions he slapped different ziploc bags full of different kinds of meat on a table and told us to get to work. Evidently he believed that by finding the proper ratio of meats, each representing a different aspect of game design like game balance, world generation, mechanics and such, we could create the perfect game. The project lead, some guy with chin-length dark shaggy hair told me I was doing it wrong and that I needed to add more sausage so that there would be more mountains in the game.

absolutely anything posted:

had a dream that a clip got unearthed of jackie gleason on the set of the honeymooners saying “do you think alligators go ‘ONK’? just a big fat ‘ONK’ out of an alligator, that’s the noise they make?”. the onk was a pitch perfect replica of the noise kremlings make when they die in donkey kong country and there was a big controversy that rare stole it from him

Bicyclops posted:

Diogenes crashes the party with his pal Shiddy

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Dreamed I was at my old school and it now doubled as a hub world for FPS levels like in Quake or Amid Evil. I was wandering about as people were trying to find the secret last level to beat the game and escape back into reality, when I remembered where it was from my school days - the janitor's closet had a secret hotel room setup attached to it with a toilet and you accessed the last level by holding your breath and flushing yourself down the toilet. Iwas briefly preoccupied with brushing my teeth at the janitor's sink but eventually went out and found a group of people I remembered from school including a girl I had a crush on, and I was like "this is it, my chance to really impress her / show her what she could have had", and triumphantly led them to the janitor's closet where I stuck my head in the disgusting toilet and began flushing. To my horror it didn't work and everyone laughed at me. It turned out I had remembered it wrong and I didn't know where the secret level was, so I had just led everyone to a weird disgusting toilet and given myself a swirlie repeatedly for no reason.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Last night I dreamed I was walking on the side of a highway and my walk cycle glitched out, I ended up sliding along the ground on my stomach with my arms and legs twisted in the air above me. The first thing I thought was “as a gamer, I accept this”

EmmyOk posted:

lol at everything

Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:

Had a dream I visited Austin Texas and saw a sign advertising "Mike's Romance Arcade - former home of id software". I didnt remember reading this in masters of doom but it was right there so I stopped in. It was the size of a small house and packed with those personality test grip things and pinball machines prominently featuring couples. One of them was addams family, another one was dirty harry but they put a decal over it so it read "dirty dancing" with a picture of Patrick Swayze. The machine was otherwise unchanged and would still spout Clint Eastwood lines during play. I noticed a regular skeeball machine in the back and asked how that was romance themed. Just then, John Romero walked in, greeted the owner and played a perfect game of skeeball. Instead of tickets or coins coming out, M&Ms and a halved poblano pepper came out. Romero took the handful of candy and handed the pepper to Mike, who said "you never know when things are gonna get hot".

ArfJason posted:

I dont remember the entire dream or really the context but i was at a friends who had a ps2 and when i opened a case for one of his games i think gran turismo i saw that the top of the disc had this thick layer of coarse purple crystals. I spent a moment going wtf but then immediately rationalized it by thinking "well youve never seen a ps2 game that wasnt pirated and remember how legit psx discs were black. Its the same" then i saw another disc and this one had like two inches of crystals on top in this crag like shape and i was like how are you supposed to close the lid with this... And what if you got an og non slim model? I was about to sand the tip of it slightly before i woke up

ol yeller posted:

Dreamed that I went on a date with Sofia Vergara. Everything was going really well until I had to give her a ride back to my place because driving in dreams always feels really hosed up to me. We ended up ordering a lyft together and things were heating up in the backseat until the driver, who was the Family Guy animated version of the pepperidge farm guy, made eye contact with me in the rear view mirror and I got uncomfortable.

Anyway, we arrived at my place and Sofia said she wanted to shower. I said okay and sat back on the couch, trying to play it cool. After watching a channel on TV that was literally nothing but commercials for what felt like an eternity, she walked out of the bathroom butt rear end naked and asked where I kept the towels. I tried to get an answer out but my eyes just kept focusing on a little tattoo she had in a pretty private area. I asked her what it was and she said it was something her ex made her get, and that he made all his gfs get it. I got closer to see what it was and realized it was Claptrap from Borderlands, and she said "That's right, Randy Pitchford used to date me. No big deal."

Woke up with one of those weird hallucination things where I kept seeing claptrap hovering around for like 30 seconds in my room and heard him in my head calling me A Little Bitch. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and took a poo poo.

Sub-Actuality posted:

lmao I love this thread

Smirking_Serpent posted:

the only one i can remember is some weird metal gear game / expansion for MGSV that i was playing with Kojima, and you could impersonate enemy soldiers and get in an argument with the real one about how they're the imposter. Kojima made it seem cool.

ol yeller posted:

dreamed that there was an extremely active scooby doo community of thrill seekers for whom the ultimate high was what they called "maskpulls". i was tasked with infiltrating them on behalf of a secret organization and was dressed in the 47 suit doing an open carry on dual deagles. for some reason they decided i shouldnt have them before being allowed into the "Ultimate Chamber", so i gave them up to a fat bouncer who was the big boy from the 2077 gifs. anyway, after i was let into the chamber, i saw it was just a nondescript room lit with candles, with a whiteboard in it that had a picture of King from Tekken circled over and over with a red marker

symbolic posted:

part of a dream last night involved me playing a version of Earthbound designed like Paper Mario, with all the characters being 2D but the environment and buildings being 3D as i explored some kind of Wild West desert town. i remember thinking it was dope in my dream, and now that i'm awake, hell, i still do.

Bicyclops posted:

had a dream that I had tons of FB notifications and I logged in just to see a bunch of people saying "have you seen this?"

when I clicked through it was a trailer for a new game called Yakuza Gaijin: Boston. the protagonist looked EXACTLY like me and had my first name, but clearly spoke Japanese in kiryu's voice. the trailer had this kickass music that's still stuck in my head and it flashed between different scenes.

the real estate game rival was legendary boston slumlord, Anwar (he is a real person) and a lot of the flashes of substory had some of my favorite Boston public transit people you see all the time, like Orange Line Strongbad, Mr Jinglecoins, and the Homeless Riddler (all are pretty self-explanatory) there was clearly a mission where you got to smash keytar bear in the face with his own instrument (he wears a bear suit and plays the keytar in train stations). there was a boss in the museum of science lightning cage that looked awesome.

some of the mini games I could see included a Simpsons Arcade Game cabinet, a full Magic card game where you could draft in my favorite Cambridge game store, candlepin bowling, ice skating dance battles, and skeeball.

at the end of the trailer were the words every gamer dreams of seeing: AVAILABLE NOW. the protagonist who looked just like me smiled and winked at the screen.

I went to download the game, of course, extremely hype to play a Yakuza game starring me but when I stood up, my head started hurting all of a sudden. I heard a deep, anime villain laugh and the trailer music started back up, and my head got worse. I looked in my tv and saw my reflection, and I had a really tiny baby head. it was still shrinking and the laugh got louder. I went to scream and woke up hearing my youngest crying, then got up to get a bottle instead of playing an epic new Yakuza game.

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream where due to committing multiple acts of terrorism I was forced to move to New York City, where all terrorists live. I had to start college all over at NYU which looked exactly like my highschool. I was at this orientation event where the dean of the school took a microphone and asked everyone what their goals are, one by one, despite there being hundreds of students so it would take hours. When he finally reached me I said "I want to get that drat hedgehog!" and the camera turned around to reveal I had become Dr. Robotnik.

Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:

Had a dream there was a Donkey Kong show in the works called KONG and you could win a role on it from a special pack of capri sun. I havent had capri sun in years so I said what the hell, bought it, and ended up winning. Fast forward to LA, they give me the details: Donkey Kong will be voiced by Steven Wright and it will be a dark and serious noir show where he has to solve crimes in the real world. I assumed I would get to voice a side character, but they said they were short staffed and the job I won was in storyboarding. I dont know how to draw very well so I just scribbled things down as they were described to me. We send the storyboards to the animators and wait. Weeks later we were at the release party and everyone was nervously awaiting the premiere on the big screen. It turns out my drawings were so bad the animators thought it was a show about Peppa Pig. They never asked for clarification so they went ahead and animated the entire show like that. As soon as I realized this I snuck out the side door and got into a cab.