r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Yet another thing that can be just put down to the often terminal condition of romcom poisoning.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 16:44

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 13:33

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

at least at every bachelor party I've been to, it's for the dude getting married, so they get to pick the where and the when and other poo poo, or at least provide high level guidance on that while the best man does the logistics and coordination

this seems really rear end backwards to me

# ? Mar 29, 2021 16:47

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Great, now the robots are stealing our shitposting jobs as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5oGJTUpbpA&t=85s

# ? Mar 29, 2021 16:48

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

Wife Plays Music Way Super Loud

quote:

I [33M] am going crazy with my wife [22F] playing her music unreasonably loud. I've tried calmly asking her to turn it down, that it's too much for me. She tends to get defensive and *barely* lowers the volume.

I am unsure how to approach her so that we can compromise. She tells me she feels restricted by me, that she can't ever play her music aloud without me asking her to lower it. I won't be unfair - I almost always ask her to turn it down because it is often so loud that I can hear it over my quality bluetooth headphones, which are cranked to tune her music out.

She likes many different genres, but mostly plays either heavily-autotuned rap or tribal chanting. While I don't like either, and she knows this, I try to tolerate both.

When she plays music aloud, she uses a huge bluetooth speaker she got from her mom. Her entire family likes music jacked way up. If my wife showers, cleans, or does dishes, she uses this speaker at what must be max volume.

I've offered her my headphone for every scenario but the obvious shower. She rarely accepts because "she can't jam with headphones on."

Last week, she made a noise complaint with the police because our neighbor yells at his kids at night, 5-7pm. I've told her that it's hypocritical to be super loud when she doesn't like it when our neighbors are.

"The difference is that I'm listening to music, not yelling at kids. And it's not night time."

"Right, but not everyone likes your music. Maybe they don't want to hear it in the morning. You can't get mad at our neighbor for being loud when you're much, much louder," I say to her.

How can we compromise so that she can jam and I'm not miserable?

TL;DR:
Wife plays music crazy loud and I want her to lower it.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 17:48

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

I would be pissed if I found out I took 2 days off of work and made a 14 hour round trip for a party.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 17:50

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Propaniac posted:

Wife Plays Music Way Super Loud

Don't marry a 22yo if you don't want college kid problems

# ? Mar 29, 2021 17:53

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Motronic posted:

Making this a surprise is stupid and not feasible. Drop that requirement and all of a sudden this ridiculous coordination between way too many people and national borders becomes almost possible, you broke brained idiots.

The other completely reasonable solution that fixes everything is to drop the idea of it being a completely standalone event. Instead, you have the friends come into town an extra day early and have your bachelorette party on the Thursday before the Saturday wedding or whatever. This is incredibly common with weddings where the couple lives in a separate city from the majority of the friend group.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:04

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Ches Neckbeard posted:

Don't marry a 22yo if you don't want college kid problems

Yeah I was on his side at first because that sounds annoying as hell but thats what you get dating someone that young.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:10

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

that sucks in practice because you have to take more time off for the wedding and then, assuming you rage, you're starting off on the wrong side of the party curve, and anyway the bride and groom are stressing about the wedding rather than enjoying doing their own thing with their friends

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:11

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Propaniac posted:

Wife Plays Music Way Super Loud

Everyone knows you can�t listen to worm music with headphones, god is that obvious.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:14

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Everyone knows you can’t listen to worm music with headphones, god is that obvious.

Did anyone ever figure out wtf worm music is? It has haunted me for the last half a year since this was originally posted.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:38

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

This person is my hero

AITA for being �disgusting� in front of my fianc�s family to prove a point?
Disclaimer: discussions of poop.

quote:

So, I�m a semi-vegan. I have lactose intolerance, gluten sensitivity (not to be confused with celiac), and IBS. I get teased a lot for my �dietary choices� mostly cause people think I�m a preachy PETA rear end but in reality I�m fighting a constant battle to not poo poo my pants. I also get people thinking I have an eating disorder because I�m relatively petit and can�t eat 99% of food, and spend a lot of time in the bathroom. I do eat occasional fish or baked chicken but 99% of my diet is plant based. Red meat is a no-go, no dairy, and I don�t eat grains which sucks cause I love bread so fn much 😭

Over the weekend my fianc� and I went to his parents house, they wanted to give us an engagement dinner. (We�ve been engaged for three months now, but we live a ways away). At the dinner was mom, step dad, younger brother, and grandma.

They know of my food aversions, they know I just eat �rabbit food,� I�ve been with my fianc� four years now. But at the dinner they served very well seasoned chicken and sausage jambalaya with cornbread and smothered potatoes. I�ve lived my entire life in the southern US surrounded by delicious food I cannot digest. I was really hurt, it felt like I was ignored. My fianc� asked if there was anything I could eat, since it was all almost completely against my dietary restrictions. Their response? Was I should just �live a little� and I needed some meat on my bones anyway. After all we were celebrating, I should enjoy myself.

Well I excused myself and my fianc� asked if I wanted to leave. I said no, I�m used to it, I didn�t want to come off as stuck up. So. I ate the food. Not a lot, but enough to be polite. And listen, it was loving good, I�ll admit it.

But less than an hour later I felt the rumbles. You know the ones, where a deluge is imminent. We were all chatting in the living room, the night was winding down, but I knew I wouldn�t make it all the way back home. I excused myself to the restroom, but at the last second I decided rather than go to the guest bathroom on the other side of the house, I�d go to the half bath next to the living room.

So... I went. In all my loud, stinky glory I went. It lasted maybe five minutes but the damage was immeasurable. The bathroom stunk and when I came out it was obvious everyone heard. It was awkward. I said �sorry, sensitive stomach you know?� We left shorty after.

My fianc� was embarrassed and we fought on the car ride home. He said I did it on purpose and it was �disgusting� and I shouldn�t have been so petty, we could have just left, why would I act so immature, etc.

I wasn�t sorry, I said his family knew about my problems but ignored me, I couldn�t help it. Was I being an rear end?

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:41

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

The last few days, r/relationships and AITA have given me hope. There have been several cases where somebody posted "My partner is [doing awful poo poo], am I being unreasonable?" and Reddit choruses You are not, and then the person says "Whew" and leaves the relationship. It's great. In between all the garbage of various sorts, people are being helped.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:45

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

artsy fartsy posted:

This person is my hero

AITA for being “disgusting” in front of my fiancé’s family to prove a point?
Disclaimer: discussions of poop.

This person loving owns. Them and the fiance seemed to be capable of basic communication too! Right until the end there

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:51

Xachariah: Jul 26, 2004

hallo spacedog posted:

Did anyone ever figure out wtf worm music is? It has haunted me for the last half a year since this was originally posted.

I went and found the original and based on their post it seems like music made to entice worms to un-burrow? EDIT: Or https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worm_charming

quote:

AITA for listening to worm music?

Recently I discovered worm music and i�m addicted to it. I listen to it all the time. I introduced some of my friends to worm music and they all love it too. The only person who doesn�t like it is my mom. when i put on worm music in the car she calls it gay and retarded and �not even music� After that I just decided to not play worm music in the car. Fast forward a few days and I was in my room playing worm music really loud. The thing about worm music is that when it�s loud it�s not really loud. My mom was across the house and she went over to the kitchen to get a drink and then she heard my worm music. She stormed into my room and screamed at me to turn it off.

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Other options: The soundtrack of the Worms games. Uhhh, music for reading the Worm fantasy web serial. Uhm, music to do the dance move "the worm" to. IDK sounds like some weird worm charming thing if it all has a low volume (for being more vibration based).

Xachariah fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Mar 29, 2021

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:51

Late Fees: Jan 8, 2004; Your fees are valid.

it's music with lyrics about Dune

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:57

Beefeater1980: Sep 12, 2008; My God, it's full of Horatios!

One thing that strikes me, after a hell of a lot of pages of reading, is that none of these people knows how to handle not getting what they want out of other people.

Any healthy relationship is a constant series of give and takes; you come into conflict and resolve it, because the relationship continuing is more important than whatever silly issue is annoying one of you right now. Sometimes you give, sometimes your partner gives. If you're both in the habit of trusting each other and working through it, you get through, even for crazy, 20-year-relationship-ending stuff. But if that ceases to be true - if actually the relationship is less important to you than getting what you want, or being right, or being seen to be right - then it's all aboard the r/relationships express.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:57

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Late Fees posted:

it's music with lyrics about Dune

So weapon of choice?

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:59

Bug Squash: Mar 18, 2009

Late Fees posted:

it's music with lyrics about Dune

Toto's soundtrack is fantastic, nta

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:08

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Hughlander posted:

So weapon of choice?

And that one Grimes album

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:13

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

From legal advice

My (M42)ex (F40) shedded my mothers gift to my daughter (F18) of $500

quote:

I just found out that the gift my mother gave my daughter for her 18th birthday last year, a card with 5 $100 bills was taken by her mother, my ex wife and put in a paper shedder and then burned.

Because of the amount of money it was I wonder if my mother can sue her over this since it wasn�t her money to begin with. My ex is and always has been super petty about things and the reason she gave was quite simple �I did it because it was from your mother�. As she never liked anyone from my family

Edit: The part hurts the most is that my mother never had a lot of money and I know $500 was a lot for her to give but it meant so much to her for her to have it. And this news made her extremely upset over the matter

Further comments make it clear the ex wife did this in front of the daughter.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:13

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

artsy fartsy posted:

This person is my hero

AITA for being �disgusting� in front of my fianc�s family to prove a point?
Disclaimer: discussions of poop.

There's one guy in the comments who keeps harping on "fianc� offered to leave, therefore you are the rear end in a top hat." Like he's said some variation of this in several different replies.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:21

Sodium Chloride: Jan 1, 2008

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for being �disgusting� in front of my fianc�s family to prove a point?
Disclaimer: discussions of poop.

As great as this power move is, I am a little concerned how the fianc� doesn't have their back on this.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:21

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Am I in trouble for refusing to cooperate with a hospital as ex' "emergency contact"

quote:

3 years ago I was in a relationship. He was abusive, did some really deplorable things I found about later. I made a report, got a restraining order, and haven't spoken to him or anyone that knows him in 3 years.

A week ago he was in an accident. His phone was destroyed/could not be accessed but he had some information in his wallet. He still had me as his emergency contact. I was not aware he had added me as his emergency contact at any point.

I got a call Monday from an unknown number, it was someone from a hospital. They started telling me my ex was in a serious accident - I immediately cut them off and said "I don't care who this is, do not contact me again". They called back and asked if I could help them get in contact with someone else (at least I think that's what they wanted, I didn't let them finish) I cut them off pretty fast and said "I don't care, I hope he dies, do not contact me again" and hung up again.

His sister (we were friendly but I cut contact after the break-up) messaged me yesterday only letting me know that their family hired a lawyer to sue me for refusing to take the hospital's call, causing a delay in his treatment. He also had some allergies and medical details they didn't know about which caused complications and skyrocketed his medical bills. I had no idea about either.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:23

Doctor J Off: Dec 28, 2005; There Is

Post Removed Within Minutes posted:

Title: City Cops and Prosecutor trying to railroad my Brother

Original Post:

So about 2 years ago my brother was letting a coworker rent a room from him while they saved up for their own place. My brother and I operate very similarly with regards to addressing people by one name. We've known people for years without ever knowing their full legal names. Well this the issue they're using against him. He knew this guy from work for over a year and they were cool. He invited him and his son out to some of our religious group functions. So when dude needed a place to stay after getting booted from his house during a divorce my brother was a good guy and offered it to him.

Anyway, the cops came knocking one day a few months after dude had moved in. They kept asking for him using his full name. Well, we all only knew him by his shortened middle name. So my brother and his teenage son told the officers and detective that they didn't know the name, which was true. His wife knew the name because she dealt with the mail. However they never once asked her to come outside and join my brother and repeatedly told her to stay in the house. This person turned out to be a child molesting gently caress bag. And my brother would have given him up in a heartbeat, had he known the name and the charges at the beginning of questioning.

Now the pissy little detective is pressing charges for lying to an officer and obstruction and the prosecutor filed them along with some other poo poo and my brother is staring at felony charges on some pissy trumped up bullshit. He already has a history because his ex-wife got him in trouble. This poo poo would ruin him and he's about to be 50, so getting a job in this market is going to impossible. Let alone he's the sole earner in the house because his current wife has hyperthyroidism and her body is literally eating itself. So she WILL die without him there.

They have a lovely pubic defender who wants him to take a reduced sentence but still cop to the felony lying charges. They can't afford better, and let's face it because of kung flu most of us couldn't either.

Thoughts on how to approach this? Sorry for the horrible sentence structure, I'm a bit emotional.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:23

poll plane variant: Jan 12, 2021; by sebmojo

Hughlander posted:

Am I in trouble for refusing to cooperate with a hospital as ex' "emergency contact"

Lmao

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:24

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Hughlander posted:

Am I in trouble for refusing to cooperate with a hospital as ex' "emergency contact"

Holy poo poo OP owns

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:24

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Do they actually have a case against her though? Like could she actually be sued for not discussing with the hospital?

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:41

Polaron: Oct 13, 2010; The Oncoming Storm

hallo spacedog posted:

Do they actually have a case against her though? Like could she actually be sued for not discussing with the hospital?

As far as I'm aware, being someone's ICE contact isn't legally binding.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:45

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I feel like maybe there could be a case if they were estranged but hadn�t actually gotten divorced yet, that�s about it.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:46

Late Fees: Jan 8, 2004; Your fees are valid.

Hughlander posted:

ex'

YTA

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:47

ben shapino: Nov 22, 2020

hallo spacedog posted:

Do they actually have a case against her though? Like could she actually be sued for not discussing with the hospital?

lol, no

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:48

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Late Fees posted:

YTA

'cause they forgot the s?

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:48

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

hallo spacedog posted:

Do they actually have a case against her though? Like could she actually be sued for not discussing with the hospital?

yeah she's gonna be tried in fairy court because her ex wrote down her True Name and stuck it in his wallet, binding her to his will

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:51

Grimdude: Sep 25, 2006; It was a shame how he carried on

They can't "have a case" because then you could literally put down anyone as an emergency contact and then sue them when they are completely blindsided by it.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:52

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

That�s why I figured the only way there could be any possibility of a case is if they were still legally married, but then again, the last time I lawyered was in high school.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:53

Late Fees: Jan 8, 2004; Your fees are valid.

Batterypowered7 posted:

'cause they forgot the s?

read like overgeneralization of the ends in s --> apostrophe after rule, which is incredibly annoying, but i guess you could be right. i'm the rear end in a top hat

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:54

haggisforthesoul: Feb 2, 2006; Soiled Meat

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for being �disgusting� in front of my fianc�s family to prove a point?
Disclaimer: discussions of poop.

Play lovely games, win lovely prizes.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:56

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

yeah she's gonna be tried in fairy court because her ex wrote down her True Name and stuck it in his wallet, binding her to his will

That will only work if there's gold trim around the American flag and that they declare admiralty law.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:58

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 13:33

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

You forgot joinder!

# ? Mar 29, 2021 19:59

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