Smirking_Serpent posted:

Boyfriend [27M] wants to keep drinks on the floor

teen witch posted:

AITA for blowing up at my boyfriend for mixing all my spices and putting them in one container?

Megillah Gorilla posted:

teen witch posted:

AITA for blowing up at my boyfriend for mixing all my spices and putting them in one container?

Batterypowered7 posted:

Just reminded me of the post where the OP's boyfriend was obsessed with a male porn star by the name of TWO TONE MALONE.

teen witch posted:

AITA for blowing up at my boyfriend for mixing all my spices and putting them in one container?

New Coke posted:

My first thought was that it was a parody of the rice story. Wow

teen witch posted:

AITA for blowing up at my boyfriend for mixing all my spices and putting them in one container?

the holy poopacy posted:

I hope it is, and people keep one-upping each other.

My girlfriend blended all of the food in the house into a slurry

My boyfriend compacted the entire contents of the house into a homogenous cube

My wife merged all human consciousness into a single entity

My husband re-condensed the universe into the primordial singularity

Soysaucebeast posted:

I literally said that in the post you quoted?

the holy poopacy posted:

My wife merged all human consciousness into a single entity

Barudak posted:

My [52M] Son [14M] Will Not Get Into His Robot [44F]

quote:

Me and my Girlfriend are having our first baby together, and since we've found out its a girl we've been thinking of baby names or at least I have, she's basically decided on the name of her best friend who died years ago, Hannah.

I don't have anything against the name Hannah, the problem is i'm a brit living in America and part of my accent is I don't pronounce H's. So if we call our daughter Hannah or even shorten it to Han, one parent and half her family (mine back home) are going to basically call her Anna or Anne. As a result i've tried to put a blanket ban on names where H's and T's and things like that are prominent, especially if me saying them sounds like i'm pronouncing a different name, so like Holly would sound like Oli, short for oliver, from me.

I know this name means a lot to my girlfriend she's dead set on it, I can't change her mind but I feel like my reasons are good ones, I don't have any other reason not to like the name Hannah. I've tried to make the point that if a parent had a speech impediment you wouldn't force a name they couldn't say, and if parents came from different ethnic backgrounds you'd have to settle on a name both parents could pronounce but she doesn't care, she just keeps saying she's honouring her best friend and if it was a boy she would've given me total control of the name (Which is a crock of poo poo, but even if it was true id still take her opinion into account).

I cant talk to other people about this either because we already agreed to keep the name we chose a secret, Hence internet strangers AITA for banning names which include one incredibly sentimental to my girlfriend?

A Festivus Miracle posted:

One spoon, one fork, itty bitty lamp. I'd offer you a drink but I literally can't.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for refusing to name my child after GF's dead best friend?

oh jay posted:

Yeah, I'm not a mouth scientist, but even if he can't psychologically add H to his overall speech muscle memory, he could certainly learn to pronounce a single name if he actually tried.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Boyfriend [27M] wants to keep drinks on the floor

quote:

I'm not asking for money for stuff like a coffee table or really frivolous stuff like fancy light fixtures - I'm talking about putting money towards stuff that is very basic and very baseline

teen witch posted:

AITA for blowing up at my boyfriend for mixing all my spices and putting them in one container?

quote:

So the title is pretty much it. For those of you who don't know who Dan Bilzerian is, he is some super rich trust fund/poker guy who is always flying private jets around and spending millions of dollars and surrounded by naked women all the time. Always posting pictures with piles of cash and random naked hookers/models all over. I didn't know until last week, but I guess him and my bf have been friends for a few years. They met in Monaco and apparently have "similar hobbies"(which worries me, because it seems like the guy's hobbies are coke and strippers and spending money) My boyfriend got invited to spend a few days in Vegas with him next week. I really don't want him to go. I'm worried he's going to be drunk and surrounded by naked women and lots of temptation. He says they're just going to be racing cars and playing poker and having a good time etc. But I doubt that's all they will be doing. I don't want to be the controlling gf telling my boyfriend who he can and can't be friends with, but the guy seems like a womanizing douche. I was kind of upset when my bf said they are friends with similar "hobbies". Is it wrong for me to tell him I don't want him to go? How can I tell him how I feel without seeming like I'm super controlling and don't trust him?

tl;dr: Boyfriend is planning on going to vegas with some rear end in a top hat who is surrounded by hookers all day and I don't want him to go.

quote:

He's 30 years old.

He dated her briefly I think in either middle or high school (we're not from the USA so it's a little different). She ended things with him and moved schools. He then switched schools just to follow her.

It was his first love. It took him years to get over it, even while he was with other girls. Just in 2018, he missed work, got on a bus and drove 4 hours just to have a coffee with her in the city she lives in now. He came back on the same day.

He told me that he just wanted to check up on her since he hadn't seen her for so long. (We weren't dating back then btw!)

But I found out through other means that he went there to ask her if what they had together was for forever. She rejected him obviously and said she was in a relationship, very happy, and that although what they had was good, they were just stupid kids back then.

We've been dating since late 2019. He told me this early in our relationship and the story of having coffee with her and ended with: "Just a funny story to tell the grandkids one day"

This seriously stuck to me. You're going to tell your grandkids about chasing around another woman besides their grandma? What the hell?

TL;DR - they dated for a short time in middle school. She switched schools when they broke up and he switched schools to be near her. In 2018 (a year before meeting me) he went to go have coffee with her in a city she lives in (4 hour bus drive) during the week, and came back on the same day. He told me it was to check up on her and her life, but I found out he asked her if what they had was for forever. When he told me, he also finished the story with: "Funny story to tell the grandkids one day" lol

quote:

Don't know who cares about this update, but since the post blew up I thought I'd share it all here. It's good for me to vent about this since it has been really loving with my head for so long. I read all your comments and there was a lot of people saying he is obsessed with her and stalking her which I don't know if that's true but he is most certainly obsessed with his previous relationship with her and the idea of her and their "dream" future together.

I don't know what to think. I have had a talk with him about it and how it really bugged me when he said "it's a great story to tell the grandkids one day". I said my peace and let it all out and how I thought that was extremely weird since she's been dating someone else for a while, since HE'S dating someone else aka me, and it's just ridiculous to be holding on to a middle school relationship that lead no where. How are you going to tell your grandkids you have with someone else about the memories with another girl?

He responded that he didn't understand why that was a weird thing to say. He said that all the memories he had with her seemed like a dream to him, it was very special and he will be holding on to them forever. (I want to cry)

He told me how he's still in contact with her from time to time and he even told her in a message after that day they met up for coffee that it was something she could share with HER grandkids while knitting and that she sent him a reply agreeing with him and kind of laughing it off. So if she was okay with it, why am I not?

I suggested that maybe she was just being polite and didn't really say that she thought it was weird.

I don't know... maybe I am overreacting, I had no loves in middle school or high school. Maybe they are soulmates. But if they were so good together, why aren't they together now? I'm just kind of hurting right now. I'm in a position where I don't think our relationship is even special because how could I compare?

It's been a few days since we had that talk, we've been somewhat normal but nothing is resolved in my head.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for refusing to name my child after GF's dead best friend?

I cant talk to other people about this either because we already agreed to keep the name we chose a secret, Hence internet strangers AITA for banning names which include one incredibly sentimental to my girlfriend?

Bug Squash posted:

Those are all cool, classic animés so the guy is nta. Woulda been a while different verdict if he'd had worse taste though.

quote:

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who weighed in on the original post. A lot of people pointed out things that we had not thought of initially. Also shout out to r/legaladvice the one person who commented was a world of help!

This is longer than I meant it to be, so bear with me...

After a lot of consideration, and talking to my brother (social worker, works for CAS), my husband and I decided that we would not take the daughter, even for “just a visit”. It was a very difficult decision to make, and even now, I’m not 100% certain it’s the right one. We called my friend yesterday, made sure her husband joined on the call, and we laid out all of our concerns, and told them both that while they are always welcome to visit as a family, we just can’t take their daughter by herself. My friend was very upset, she actually walked away (we were on FaceTime...thought it best to talk face to face as best as we could) and refused to come back to the phone for most of the conversation. Very immature, but I can’t say it wasn’t expected of her. We talked mostly to her husband, explained our reasons (too many to get into here), and then told him that if they have things they need to work on, they need to work on them as a family unit. I was also very blunt, and told them that in no way would we be taking their daughter just for them to live like a child-free couple and spend all of their waking moments playing video games.

When my friend did eventually come back to the call, I told her that she has a serious problem with video games and she needs to get her poo poo together, not just for herself, but for her daughter. I might have been too harsh - I got pretty angry with her at one point - but when she tried to pull the “no one else seems to care about my video game playing” card (referencing the fact that our mutual friends just don’t say anything to her about it), I reminded her that I have always been the friend to be honest with her and give her tough love. I told her that she and her husband need to get themselves into therapy, and do better - as partners, as parents, and as people.

When we hung up after almost 2 hours of talking, I was hopeful that we got through to them, and they would start to get it together.

This was all yesterday. Today, her sister sent me a message on Facebook to tell me that my friend’s daughter will be visiting with her in about two weeks for “a month or so” to spend time with her kids during the summer, and asked if I wanted to plan something with the daughter for a week or two while she was there.

I was stunned. My friend’s sister (who I’ll just call “sister” from now on) is a single mother with three kids of her own. I thought she was still in a two bedroom apartment, but just found out that she recently moved to a three bedroom house (she posted about it on Facebook, but I honestly hardly go on there at all). I immediately called sister to tell her everything. Sister had no idea that my friend had approached me first about watching her daughter, and when I told sister about everything that happened, and about the post on Reddit (read some comments to her), she was PISSED. She said that my friend framed it to her that she simply wanted her daughter and sister’s kids to spend more time together so that she could “know her cousins better” since they’re so far apart. I warned sister about everything brought up on Reddit, and by the time we were done talking, she had decided to not have the daughter visit.

She must have called my friend and told her all of this, because just about an hour ago, I got a screaming angry phone call from my friend, telling me I was a horrible friend for doing what I did, and for not being there for her when she needed me. I said nothing, I was speechless, and after just a few minutes, she hung up on me.

Now, I’m sitting here sick with worry about her daughter, and unsure of what to do next. I think a call to CAS is needed, but beyond that: what do I do? Is there even anything else I can do? I’m lost, guys, and so scared for that little girl.

EDIT: I will be calling CAS tomorrow, and reporting my friend (with the help of my brother). I’m just not sure if there’s anything else I can be doing on top of that.

quote:

The first year was absolutely perfect and I thought this guy was my soulmate. He was so sweet and romantic and caring and fun. That's probably why when this poo poo started I let it slide and just assumed I was overreacting, because my soulmate would never have bad intentions, would he?

He decided to take up photography and photo editing as a hobby and he would always ask to take photos of me. When he'd show me the final edited results, he had ALWAYS photoshopped my face. Made my nose smaller, made my eyes and lips bigger, made my hair longer, etc. Anybody who knew me could see that was not my face and he was not just touching up the photos. He even used one of them as his phone lock screen. I told him he wasn't allowed to take any more pictures of me if he was going to edit them into oblivion and my face is already perfectly fine and doesn't need enhancements. He got defensive and said he was "just practicing" on photoshop. He agreed to stop, but then he started accusing me of editing MY photos. Like I'd post a photo on Instagram and he'd say "You said you don't like photoshop so why did you edit the picture you just posted? Where is the bump in your nose?" when I hadn't done anything besides brighten them.

He would constantly tell me that his ex-wife was bisexual and how "hot" it was. He would push me to say I was bisexual too, like if I ever mentioned how pretty another woman was he would ask if I was into her and then say "See? You are a little bi". I felt like I was boring and vanilla, and he kept badgering me about it, so eventually when he said "Would you ever mess around with another woman?" I said "I don't know, maybe if the situation arose". He ended up making me a W4W Tinder profile and started talking to all of these women as me. Then, he told me that he SET UP A DATE with a woman from the app and she was going to come over for drinks that night and he was going to listen from the downstairs bedroom. I felt really uncomfortable, both because of him spying and because I am NOT ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. I told him to cancel it and he said it would be fine and I'd probably like it. She came over and we hung out and watched a movie. I didn't make a move on her and she didn't make a move on me. When she left, my boyfriend complained that we were boring and he fell asleep during our date. I told him to delete the app and he said he would just use it to chat from now on because he "didn't have many friends in our city and it was nice to talk to new people". I told him to delete the app or we were finished and he finally did.

I hate anal sex. I told my boyfriend on many occasions that I hate it and it's not on the menu. One night we were out with his friends at a club and they offered us GHB. I took some (I'm not a recreational drug user at all but I wanted to fit in). He didn't take any but he was drinking a lot. I was super impaired and apparently really horny. I asked my boyfriend if we could go home to have sex and he got us a cab. On the way, I said "you can do anything you want to me!" blah blah, dirty talking. We get home and he gives me some more GHB and I black out completely. I woke up the next day with no memory and my rear end was really sore. I asked what happened and he said we did anal. I told him I hate anal and he said "No you loved it, you were begging for it". I told him if I did "love it" it's because I was impaired and literally blacked out and he said "You're making it sound like you were unconscious, you were totally conscious and into it". I put it to the back of my brain because I had told him we could do what he wanted, but it really hurts me to think that the only thing he wanted to do was something I hated and wouldn't ever say yes to if I was sober...

After we got engaged...

He already had an adult kid, and when we started dating I specifically asked if he was open to having another because I wanted one. He said yes. Then, after we got engaged two years later, he told me that he didn't actually want any more. I told him I needed some time to think about whether I wanted to get married, because this was very important to me and I felt betrayed that had told at the start of our relationship that he was on board. A few days later he changed his tune and said "You know, I was thinking and I realized I'm okay with having another child - with the right woman" and the wedding was back on. However, that last part was a total thorn in my side. If I ever upset him or disagreed with him, he would quickly say "I thought you were the right woman, but now I'm not so sure. I don't know if I should have kids with you".

He decided to take a completely unnecessary vacation to Los Angeles to visit his friends during the height of the pandemic to go to a HALLOWEEN PARTY. He didn't quarantine in California or when he returned to Massachusetts despite both states requiring it, and his party certainly broke the lockdown rules. I told him I didn't want him to go, and he told me "I'm not asking you to come so it's none of your business". I told him he was being selfish and unsafe and he told me I was being a "judgmental, rude brat who thought I was better than everyone". He went on the trip and ghosted me for 6 days when he was down there. When I finally got ahold of him, he told me to stop bothering him because I was ruining his vacation and that he doesn't respect me anymore. I started crying, so he held onto that "I don't respect you" line for future fights because he knew it was a winner.

He started tracking my location on an app and would question me whenever I left my apartment without mentioning it to him first. I finally figured out what was happening and called him out. He responded by accusing me of going out to gently caress other guys and being a "lying, cheating waste of time". He then refused to answer the phone while I desperate tried to call him. The next day, he sent like $1000 worth of gifts and flowers to my apartment and called to beg for forgiveness. He said he was drunk and depressed in lockdown and his ex-wife had cheated and he was traumatized by that. My clown rear end AGREED TO TAKE HIM BACK as long as he went to therapy...he went twice and then stopped because he didn't like his therapist.

He offered to show me sex videos/photos of his ex-wife. Just out of the blue one day. I told him that keeping those was so disrespectful to both me and her, and asked if she would be happy to know he still has those. He got so mad and told me "we can talk about this when you calm down and stop being so judgmental, you don't get to call me disrespectful, they're just in my cloud and I barely think about them" and ignored me until I apologized for my outburst except to inform me that he deleted all his photos of ME instead of her since it's so "disrespectful" to have them. I did apologize (ugh omg) for "assuming the worst" and he made a big production about deleting them to appease my "insecurity".

He refused to discuss anything over text. He had lied over text a few times (about some big things) and when I had caught him in the lie and referred to his texts to show him, he got angry and said I "couldn't let anything go". After that, if I wanted to discuss anything that wasn't sexting or memes, he refused to answer unless I called him. I would text him to ask a question about the wedding or a house we were looking at or something he said and he would say "We can talk about this on the phone". It didn't matter if I was busy or at work or anything. Once he banned me from texting him for a week because I "relied on it too much" and if I wanted to talk to him I had to call. I didn't call and he got pissed about that and accused me of not wanting to talk to him.

He told me I needed to see a therapist for my "mental issues" because I was constantly upset with him (I wonder why??). He told me I probably had borderline personality disorder and I reminded him of his crazy ex-wife and he didn't want to marry another crazy person so I had to get it sorted out. I made a therapy appointment and he gave me a huge list of my "issues" that he wanted me to fix. Things like how insecure I was, how I got mad when he talked about his past (aka him talking about his sex life with his ex-wife), how judgmental I was (for being upset about his trip), how I never gave him the benefit of the doubt...my therapist was HORRIFIED and told me that this relationship was toxic and I should leave. I didn't.

I asked him one day to stop speaking so poorly of his 2nd ex-wife (he did it constantly) and he told me to stop being insecure. I asked if he had treated her like he treated me, because if he did I couldn't blame her for acting "crazy". He said "No, we argue because we have so much passion. I never had passion with her. Ask her yourself" and literally gave me her e-mail and phone number. So, I e-mailed her. I didn't give her any personal details, I just asked if she had experienced the same constant arguing that I was and what I could do to fix it. She sent me back an incredibly kind, long and revealing response in which she WORD FOR WORD recounted exactly the same treatment I had been getting, only worse. I asked why he had lied to me and he yelled at me and said "I shouldn't have been stupid enough to think he was serious when he told me to e-mail her" and called her a liar (except she wasn't lying, she knew nothing about our situation and yet wrote an e-mail that I could have written myself). He then told me I had mental issues again, and I said "How dare you say that to me". He told me I was overreacting and I said "I'm not, it's an incredibly cruel and dismissive thing to say that I have mental issues because I am questioning your behavior". He then said "I NEVER SAID YOU HAD MENTAL ISSUES, I SAID YOU WERE OVERREACTING" and that I had misheard him!!

Anyway, I left him and cancelled everything, and a few weeks later he e-mailed me to tell me that his friends had been asking what happened and when he told them, they couldn't believe how abusive and controlling I was and how he was better off without me. The entire last 8 months of our relationship (after we got engaged) are just him calling me names, ghosting me, gaslighting me and lying to me. I have 100 more examples but these are just the ones that really stick with me and make me feel like an insane person for not dumping him immediately. It's been a few weeks since he last e-mailed me and I oscillate between relieved that I didn't go through with the wedding and sick to my stomach that he still doesn't see the issue with anything he did or said, and some other poor girl (probably one who's half his age like I was, and like his ex-wife was) is going to be dealing with this in a few weeks or months. I used to have such good self esteem, I can't believe I put up with this...

EDIT Thank you guys so much for all the comments and DMs and award thingies! I am reading and upvoting every single one, just know I appreciate it so much. I haven't talked to my friends or family about this stuff, just the more minor stuff, because I was so embarrassed, but I really appreciate you listening to me here.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for refusing to name my child after GF's dead best friend?

binaisagnome posted:

"Hannah" is the name of a character in 28 Days Later, and nobody dropped the H pronouncing her name.

Barudak posted:

I don't know why but that story immediately makes me think woman whose in too deep on british tv fanfic rather than a real person