r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

AceClown posted:

AITA for getting mad at my wife for making an inappropriate joke while we watched Space Jam?

The only acceptable response to this is, after the kids are asleep, to paint his rear end orange and walk into the bedroom backwards

Also this dude is a loser

# ? May 28, 2021 15:07

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 15:51

emptyspace: Oct 21, 2008

deety posted:

My favorite part about this guy is that he thinks sex with him is worth causing trouble for her relationship, her business, and her friendships (if she'd somehow fallen for his stupid plan), but at the same time, he's gotta test the waters instead of propositioning her directly. Then again, I guess that lines up with the lack of self-awareness that it takes to think you're a great guy even though you're willing to treat people this way.

Not only that, but he tried to catfish her as the husband of one of her friends, which is creepy and stalkerish as gently caress. Not to mention that it would cause problems with said friend. If she does know it was him, he probably should find a new bar before he gets bounced hard out of that one.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:12

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Toon Squad in the streets, Monstar in the sheets.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:16

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My (30F) husband (30M) said I�m not very ladylike and offered to hire someone to teach me.

quote:

Married for 6 years. Dated for 2.

Back when things were normal my husband was away from home often. Usually, when he would be home, I would dress up a lot and put in a lot of effort for him. This year, he has been home for the longest stretch of time in our marriage. At first, I was putting in a lot of effort but then staying home constantly made me feel depressed and I started going back to normal and wearing more comfortable clothing and no makeup.

I didn�t realise my husband had such an issue but yesterday he randomly said I wasn�t very ladylike at all and after I got upset, he graciously offered to hire someone to teach me how to be.

Today he tried to say he didn�t mean it as an insult and it didn�t mean he didn�t think I was beautiful but it drat sure felt like one. I don�t know if this is even relevant but my husband always looks �put together� and he�s maintained that even in the pandemic.

I did make a dramatic change to my wardrobe when we got married, for him, so I think that�s why I feel extra offended/sensitive right now.

I told my friend what he said, and she told me to accept the offer and then force him to buy me all new clothes, but I really don�t want to.

Does anyone have any better suggestions?

TL;DR � Husband said I wasn�t very ladylike at all and offered to hire someone to teach me how to be after I got upset.

I'd say to cosplay as a Victorian lady instead

# ? May 28, 2021 15:19

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

kimbo305 posted:

This offender was a her as well.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:28

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for telling my ex she�s going to gently caress up her son for not wanting to change his name?

quote:

We split up 2 months ago after I found out she was cheating on me. This was a few weeks before she was about to give birth to a son I thought was mine. Just thank god i found out before and was able to refuse signing anything that could�ve dragged me into being his legal dad. We did a paternity test and turns out he�s not mine. So we broke up and I moved out of our apartment. Back when we found out we were having a boy she wanted him named after me so I guess that�s what she ended up putting on the birth certificate. I didn�t have a clue, only found out because some friends have told me she�s calling her kid Jr. And her friends confirmed she still has him by my last name because they�ve told her she should change it.

I called up my ex to ask why she has him named after me when he�s not my kid. My ex told me it�s his name now too and he�s not my problem anymore so I have no say in what she calls her son. So yeah I said she�s right, but I don�t see why give him a surname he doesn�t even have a familial connection to and why not give him his actual father�s name. Supposedly she doesn�t know who the biological dad is and at least this way he has a connection to someone at least. I just said that�s probably gonna gently caress him up having him named after someone who�s not even his dad. My ex told me to go to hell and hung up on me.

Her family was already giving me poo poo before for just leaving knowing damm well he�s not mine, but now her mom is giving me more for judging her parenting when she�s just trying to make the best of the situation now that her son doesn�t have a dad anymore. That I�m free to walk away but I don�t got a right to tell her what�s good or bad for her son when I�m not gonna be involved. So I�m just wondering now if I was an rear end in a top hat for voicing that opinion in the first place. It just seems crazy and weird to me.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:32

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

ad090 posted:

AITA for telling my ex she�s going to gently caress up her son for not wanting to change his name?

Imagine matrix dodging a gunshot like this, only to use the slow motion to run back in front of the bullet again.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:39

emptyspace: Oct 21, 2008

ad090 posted:

AITA for telling my ex she�s going to gently caress up her son for not wanting to change his name?

He needs to stop talking to this woman and her friends, like yesterday. She's trying to backdoor him into being this kid's dad with the whole, "so he'll have a connection to somebody" bullshit.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:46

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

It's too late honestly, that OP is getting a teenager messaging him/showing up asking why he abandoned his mom and him.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:48

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

ad090 posted:

AITA for telling my ex she�s going to gently caress up her son for not wanting to change his name?

That kid is totally coming for back child support at some point. Ex is raising him to believe that the OP is a deadbeat dad.

He's never going to escape.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:49

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

ad090 posted:

AITA for telling my ex she�s going to gently caress up her son for not wanting to change his name?

how exactly does the mom think the kid's going to react to finding out he was the product of infidelity and named after the man who broke things off with her on that account

I can't even imagine how I would react to my mom if something like that was true, but I am sure I would walk away with a worse opinion of her

# ? May 28, 2021 15:55

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Mr. Lobe posted:

how exactly does the mom think the kid's going to react to finding out he was the product of infidelity and named after the man who broke things off with her on that account

I can't even imagine how I would react to my mom if something like that was true, but I am sure I would walk away with a worse opinion of her

I think the Ex is hoping that the Ex and OP will reconnect at a later date and OP's heart will grow 2 sizes too big and be a dad at that point because the son is named after him.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:58

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Dude needs to keep the results of that paternity ready at a moment�s notice.

# ? May 28, 2021 15:59

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Dazerbeams posted:

Dude needs to keep the results of that paternity ready at a moment�s notice.

Frame it and put it on every wall of the house.

Little wallet size pictures you can show strangers.

QR codes that link to clips of Maury.

# ? May 28, 2021 16:10

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

The rooter is the nose. It roots out truffles.

# ? May 28, 2021 16:41

betaraywil: Dec 30, 2006; Gather the wind
Though the wind won't help you fly at all

My boyfriend (22M) is mad at me (21F) for not agreeing to have my period monthly.

quote:

Throwaway account, this is a sanity check as well as plea for help. Let me explain.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months. It's still early days but things are going well, I feel loved, we have a lot in common, lots of chemistry, yada yada. We're also learning more intimate things about each other. Not to be unceremonious, but as it turns out, my bf has a period k*nk. He confessed to me recently that having period sex is a huge turn on for him. I'm not one to judge, but here's how things went south in our relationship because of this discovery.

I'm on the pill. There's a few reasons why. 1. I don't want a baby. 2. If I'm not on the pill, my cycle is very short and I only get like 14-18 days between periods. 3. It helps me manage my acne. 4. My period..makes me su*cidal, and the pill means I can skip my period altogether, which I do. My period makes me feel this way whether I'm on the pill or not.

Some doctors have classed point #4 as good old PMS, but my current doctor considers it to actually be PMDD, which is PMS but with some clinically-verified-extra-spice added to it in the form of severe mood disturbances. I go from a pretty functional person to an absolute DISASTER in the few days before my period and then the entire time throughout. It goes from 0-100 pretty fast, and I become su*cidal and somehow can't comprehend that it's actually just because of my period, and I won't feel like this in a weeks time. It sucks, and so on the advice of my doctor, I skip the inactive/sugar pills on my birth control packets. I'll take the sugar pills and have a "period" (not really a period since you don't ovulate while on the combined pill) like 2-3 times a year because it feels weird to not have one ever, even though I know I'm about to give myself a bad time. Other than that, no periods.

Naturally, during this recent eye-opening conversation my boyfriend asked me why I never seem to be on my period. I explained what I just said above. Why I'm on the pill, what happens when I'm not on the pill, and why I skip my period.

Yeah, he's not a fan. He thinks it's "unfair" that I "withhold" something that he could enjoy so much from him, and he doesn't buy into that my mood becomes "that bad" while I'm on my period. He wants me to "be like a normal woman" and have my period monthly. I think his comments were fcking stupid, particularly the last one since lots of women don't menstruate.

I still refused. I was initially sure that I was being reasonable, but by the way my bf has reacted, I'm starting to question myself a bit? He's still mad and won't engage in any affection.

It's reasonable to refuse to have your rather-sucky period monthly even though your partner has a k*nk for it?

EDIT: I think the reason I'm doubting my reaction is because I have a tendency to be pretty skittish when it comes to relationships/commitment. I don't hesitate much before I run, so I guess I'm trying to gauge if at least this time around, I'm right to think I wanna drop this boy quick smart

Dammit OP, you're not supposed to know about the fetish right away. You're supposed to be getting weird pressure, and then the commenters convince you that he has a period fetish and the whole thing spirals out of control over the course of several updates.

# ? May 28, 2021 17:34

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Mx. posted:

AITA for exposing my parents lies and damaging their reputation
on the other hand it solved nothing but hurt my parents.

Another success story!

betaraywil posted:

My boyfriend (22M) is mad at me (21F) for not agreeing to have my period monthly.
Dammit OP, you're not supposed to know about the fetish right away. You're supposed to be getting weird pressure, and then the commenters convince you that he has a period fetish and the whole thing spirals out of control over the course of several updates.

Oh holy poo poo gently caress this dude. Obviously, it's up to her if she has her period or not and his weenie can take it or leave it, but PMDD is nothing to gently caress around with. It's severely understudied (it's a Women's Problem) but it can lead to some serious destructive behaviour. I hope she :sever:

Sisal Two-Step fucked around with this message at 17:54 on May 28, 2021

# ? May 28, 2021 17:46

Scaevolus: Apr 16, 2007

I�m desperately jealous of my new SIL and it�s making me question my life. How can I make this productive instead of destructive?

quote:

I (31f) married Adam 7 years ago. We were pretty young (24, college sweethearts) but I love him deeply and I knew he was the right partner for me. He comes from a pretty upper middle-class family of 4 boys and a girl. While his father supported everyone (executive in some kind of insurance), Adam�s mother ran the show at home. It�s a very matriarchal family with her (often obnoxiously) calling all of the shots.

This woman is completely overbearing and demands everything to be done her way. Again, I was young when we got married so at the time I didn�t recognize what this community would immediately know are �JustNo� tendencies. Instead, I wanted her to like me so I played along. Over the years she�s controlled huge parts of the wedding, baby shower, raising of the baby, etc. No blowouts, and everything has turned out fine (thank goodness she has decent taste), but lately I�ve found that I�m just disappointed in myself for having never developed neither my own style, nor a backbone. I resent that I enabled her. I resent that my husband didn�t step in.

Enter new SIL. She�s 35 and just married Tom, Adam�s oldest brother. Tom is 39 and waited to marry as he chased not only a successful career, but also adventure. He�s travelled the world, lived in different cities, obtained a masters degree, etc. He settled when he met Ara. She�s similar in nature: advanced (law school) degree, successful career, lived on her own for many years in Manhattan (how?!) and will probably be a partner in her firm by the time she�s 40. She�s literally traveled everywhere. She�s...lovely.

Naturally, my MIL has been entirely unable to sink her claws into Ara. It�s not even that Ara has the perfect clapbacks or �sets boundaries� or shouts her down. Ara basically...doesn�t even notice. Like she�s SO independent that my MIL jumping up and down to try and control things isn�t even entering on her radar. She politely turns suggestions down like they�re from some small town lady at a gift shop telling you to make sure you bring a card with those flowers, and carries on. It wouldn�t even occur to her that MIL is upset. One time I told her to her face that MIL was seething and she non-chalantly said (while simultaneously replying to a work email on her phone) �oh there�s no reason for that! Everything will be fine I�m sure Tom will sort it with her.� Then she made some funny quip about her demanding boss and carried on like a drat beast.

Interestingly, and as a result, my MIL doesn�t really get offended anymore. Like the problem solved itself. The more Ara doesn�t notice MIL, the more MIL seems to worship Ara...from a distance.

The problem at hand: I find myself horribly jealous over all of this. Like I�m suddenly realizing that I�ve played MILs game this whole time. I engaged her at her level instead of going out and finding my own �thing� and then just doing it without interruption. I�m not sad I got married and had children young (I believe we all eventually �meet in the middle� on that one. Some people �lose� their younger years and some �lose� their late 30s. Either way if you have kids, some of those years will be rough).

What makes me sad is that I never developed that bold individualism that Ara did. I thought I had it in college... but really all it got me was a great boyfriend who became my husband. After which, I lost it because I was married and had to play family politics.

What scares me is that Ara is making me question how I�ve spent my time in the last 10 years. Why didn�t we take more family trips? We could have afforded it. Why didn�t I spend less time fussing with �big family stuff� and sitting around gossiping with MIL trying to get her to like me? I could have pursued writing for pleasure, solo travel, a local softball team.

I know this isn�t about Ara, she just happens to be the person that lit the match (I like her very much!) However what�s happened now is that I have no idea what to do. My feelings of discontentment (both towards how I�ve handled my MIL but also towards the larger picture) are increasing everyday. I�m afraid I�ll sit here and seethe until I just walk out one day. If I suggest counselling, my husband will agree but my MIL WILL find out and WILL start fussing.

I don�t know. I�m rambling. Any ideas?

# ? May 28, 2021 17:49

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

DemoneeHo posted:

My (30F) husband (30M) said I�m not very ladylike and offered to hire someone to teach me.
I'd say to cosplay as a Victorian lady instead

Or as a sexy nun

# ? May 28, 2021 17:50

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Scaevolus posted:

I’m desperately jealous of my new SIL and it’s making me question my life. How can I make this productive instead of destructive?

it's never too late to stop giving a gently caress

# ? May 28, 2021 17:52

Armitag3: Mar 15, 2020; Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

hawowanlawow posted:

it's never too late to stop giving a gently caress

Absolutely. The best time was yesterday, second best is today. "Jealousy" is okay if it prompts you to want to be more like how you want to be.

# ? May 28, 2021 17:55

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Scaevolus posted:

I�m desperately jealous of my new SIL and it�s making me question my life. How can I make this productive instead of destructive?
If I suggest counselling, my husband will agree but my MIL WILL find out and WILL start fussing.

And what? OP just typed out "I wish I was like my SIL who doesn't care about what my MIL thinks" for a few hundred words and fell down at the first perception of a hurdle.

# ? May 28, 2021 17:57

henkman: Oct 8, 2008

I wonder how much of that is just in the OPs head

# ? May 28, 2021 18:02

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

OP is currently in the teenager stage of understanding rebellion is possible, but despite describing a clear example otherwise, still seems to think it must be active opposition rather than just doing what you want.

quote:

I could have pursued writing for pleasure, solo travel, a local softball team.

How in the hell is MIL stopping you from the first and last? Just do it, these are both things done on your own time that don't detract from other commitments.

quote:

If I suggest counselling, my husband will agree but my MIL WILL find out and WILL start fussing.

I'm pretty sure this means she doesn't want to grow a spine, she wants her husband to be her spine. Otherwise she would go to counseling alone.

# ? May 28, 2021 18:06

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Some people are just doormats through and through.

# ? May 28, 2021 18:16

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Sounds like she married a doormat and doesn't realize that her problem is not only that she isn't as cool as her SIL, but the older BIL is also cool and not-a-doormat

# ? May 28, 2021 18:19

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Getting in trouble is fake, op. Play softball and write furry erotica porn, goddamn. You have only one life to live.

# ? May 28, 2021 18:29

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Personal anecdote time: My husband's mother is a helicopter mom. Because my husband was more independent and set boundaries with her (moved a few states away), she doubled down on his younger brother and seriously hindered his development. The same thing probably happened with cool eldest bro and mama's boy younger bro.

# ? May 28, 2021 18:31

Haschel Cedricson: Jan 4, 2006; Brinkmanship

r/relationships: I don�t need the mental image of my wife eating the orange Monstar�s rear end

# ? May 28, 2021 19:24

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Can't believe the "Space Jam" op doesn't know the orange one's name is Pound, smh.

# ? May 28, 2021 19:58

Peg Sliderskew: Jan 4, 2010

Invisible Clergy posted:

Can't believe the "Space Jam" op doesn't know the orange one's name is Pound, smh.

r/relationships: I don�t need the mental image of my wife Pounding the orange Monstar�s rear end

# ? May 28, 2021 20:11

Axqu: Nov 28, 2016; I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says,
I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!

Invisible Clergy posted:

Can't believe the "Space Jam" op doesn't know the orange one's name is Pound, smh.

Pounded in the butt by my insecurity surrounding a buff cartoon muppet

# ? May 28, 2021 20:14

MAKE NO BABBYS: Jan 28, 2010

Flannelette posted:

Where even is there a tinder location that has that many people on it? 100 000 swipes!?

Any major city? Last time I was on tinder I got a notification less than three months into having the account that I�d been liked by 100,000 people.

E: murder the period kink BF and then the other lady should join her drat softball team and quit giving a single gently caress about her MIL.

MAKE NO BABBYS fucked around with this message at 20:55 on May 28, 2021

# ? May 28, 2021 20:46

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

AITA for making my flatmate cry?

quote:

24F and flatmate is 25F. Ireland has only just begun easing COVID restrictions and I've been making better money than her over the course of the pandemic, so I've been paying more of the rent than her. That isn't the issue here, it's just for context.

My brother, "Dan" (26M) and his boyfriend, "Se�n" (27M) live nearby, so they've been part of my "close circle" during COVID. They've been dating for a few years, and I'm very close to both of them. Dan and I have always been close, and Se�n and I have very similar personalities, so we've always gotten along great.

They have their own place, and my flatmate is introverted, so I usually visit them, and it's rare for them to come to my flat. Me and Se�n are walking Irish stereotypes: very loud, enjoy drinking, all that. Dan's quieter but he's used to us and can keep up fine.

One night last week, they instead decided to have a game night, and invited my flatmate as well. Something quieter and more her speed, she still declined. Okay, whatever, I didn't push it and just let Dan and Se�n know. I still went and had fun. When I got back, I said something along the lines of "that was great craic, you should come by next time".

Her: Yeah, it sounded fun, but they make me uncomfortable.
Me: I get you, the three of us can be real loud when we're together, that's why I try to go over there.
Her: Well that's not the only thing.
Me: Hm?
Her: I'm not really comfortable around gay people, sorry.

Admittedly I lost it here. I had no clue that she felt that way, and maybe I'm just biased by how close I am to both of them, but I went off on her: "it's 2021, so what if my brother's gay, why does that matter". And yeah, she hates confrontation too, but I wasn't really concerned with that at the moment. She went into her room and slammed the door, while I took my rage out on some of our throw pillows. I had no clue I was living with someone so intolerant.

After I thought I'd cooled off, I heard her crying from her room and got mad again. "What are you crying for? If anything I should be the one crying. I didn't know I was living with a feckin' homophobe!" I shouted, which just made her cry harder. After she'd cooled off, I went into my room and wondered if I had been too hard on her.

Maybe my rage was blinding me at the time, it's hard for me to look back clearly on this and I'd like more opinions. Was I being the rear end in a top hat?

No mercy for homophobes.

# ? May 28, 2021 21:33

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for making my flatmate cry?
No mercy for homophobes.

Hope this is an end to the rent coverage on her behalf.

# ? May 28, 2021 21:42

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Axqu posted:

Pounded in the butt by my insecurity surrounding a buff cartoon muppet

lmfao

# ? May 28, 2021 21:46

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Mx. posted:

AITA for exposing my parents lies and damaging their reputation

quote:
My sister and I were not allowed to play with certain kids in our school or neighbourhood because their parents were in trade rather than academics.

# ? May 28, 2021 22:24

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

AITA for telling my gf witchcraft isn�t real and that it�s impossible to bring her dog back?

quote:

My gf has been in witchcraft and stuff like that for a few years. I thought it was just a phase or something but apparently not. So unfortunately her dog P who she has had since she was a little girl passed away recently and my gf has been miserable about it, obviously. Crying everyday and spending a lot of time just curled up looking at pictures of her and her P together. I feel really bad for her obviously and I miss P. But recently my gf has...umm well tried using her�witchcraft� to bring P back to life. Doing rituals and stuff like that. Obviously she can�t bring P back and seeing my gf desperately try to use fake magic to bring P back made me worried for her.

So one day after my gf completed a ritual or something I told her I had to speak to her seriously about something. I sat down with her and said she really needs to stop with this witchcraft stuff because it�s not real and it�s unhealthy. Told her P is not coming back and that she needs to accept that. My gf got furious at me. Said that witchcraft is real and she�s heard that other witches have had success with bringing back pets. I told her that I know it�s hard to accept but that this stuff isn�t real and that there is no way to bring P back. She didn�t want to listen. Told me that I was being an uncaring jerk and that she was going to bring P back. I told her she needs to accept reality and not run from it and she told me to shut the gently caress up and don�t interfere in her attempts to bring P back. And to get out if I was not happy with what she was doing. So I let her be and didn�t bring it back up even though I wanted to say more but my gf is still pissed off at me.

AITA?

# ? May 29, 2021 01:20

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Quackles posted:

AITA for telling my gf witchcraft isn�t real and that it�s impossible to bring her dog back?

Way to volunteer to be the obnoxious skeptic guy who gets his throat torn out when it all goes Pet Sematary, chump

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 01:25 on May 29, 2021

# ? May 29, 2021 01:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 15:51

betaraywil: Dec 30, 2006; Gather the wind
Though the wind won't help you fly at all

Love that this is the guy who doesn't say things "calmly"

# ? May 29, 2021 01:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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