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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

WWE Champions - Click for pictures/details etc.

Raw: WWE Champion Brock Lesnar | Women’s Champion Becky Lynch | United States Champion Andrade | Tag Champions The Street Profits | Women’s Tag Champions The Kabuki Warriors | 24/7 Champion R-Truth
Smackdown: Universal Champion Goldberg | Women’s Champion Bayley | Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn | Tag Champions The Miz and John Morrison | Women’s Tag Champions The Kabuki Warriors
NXT: NXT Champion Adam Cole | Women’s Champion Rhea Ripley | North American Champion Keith Lee | Cruiserweight Champion Jordan Devlin | Tag Champions Matt Riddle & Pete Dunne
NXT UK: UK Champion WALTER | Women’s Champion Kay Lee Ray | Tag Team Champions Gallus
____________________________

February Thread here.
My favorite WWE-related posts for THIS month.

Intruder posted:

I liked when he was taunting Seth during their original feud after he ran off with the belt, but there was no payoff

WWE Discussion: But there was no payoff
____________________________

Last month's recap:
  • WWE's share price plummeted after an awful Investors' Conference Call that didn't put anybody's mind at ease, and has only partially recovered since.
  • Big time PPVs may be returning to other subscription services instead of being part of the WWE Network.
  • Orton didn't explain his attack on Edge in January for the entire month.
  • Riddick Moss won the 24/7 Title and it has basically disappeared along with him ever since.
  • Ricochet was humiliated at the start and close of the month by Brock Lesnar.
  • Velveteen Dream returned to NXT and got weird in a bad way about Roderick Strong's family.
  • Otis had his heart broken by Mandy Rose. Sonya Deville is suspected of being behind it all.
  • Shayna Baszler bit Becky Lynch.
  • Samoa Joe returned from injury and promptly got concussed while filming a commercial, then failed a wellness test. Jesus Christ what a month.
  • NXT Takeover Portland was a very good show. Johnny Gargano turned heel on Tommaso Ciampa.
  • Matt Hardy's contract is almost up and I'm pretty sure WWE is holding Jeff Hardy hostage in hopes of forcing Matt to sign a new contract rather than go to AEW.
  • Static has been appearing on Smackdown shows without comment, with images briefly seen in the static.
  • The Bella Twins are going into the Hall of Fame, along with Batista and the NWO (Hogan, Hall and Nash).
  • Drew Gulak is trying to coach jobbers (who won't listen) in how to beat Daniel Bryan.
  • Sheamus has repeatedly humiliated Chad Gable and Apollo Crews for the crime of being short.
  • A ref has apparently been brainwashed/indoctrinated by Seth Rollins who is now the "Monday Night Messiah".
  • The Blood Money Show in Saudi Arabia was as dogshit awful as always. Goldberg easily defeated The Fiend Bray Wyatt in 3 minutes to become the new Universal Champion, and Miz and Morrison defeated The New Day to win the Smackdown Tag Titles.
  • Every black champion lost their title and every black contender for a title lost their matches, some in humiliating fashion, during Black History month.
  • Roman Reigns challenged Goldberg to a Wrestlemania title match, which was quickly made official.
  • Sasha Banks returned to active wrestling after filming a guest role in season 2 of The Mandalorian.
  • John Cena offered to sit out Wrestlemania in favor of young blood, but then immediately accepted an unspoken challenge by The Fiend Bray Wyatt.
  • NXT lost every single head-to-head showdown with AEW yet again, and even lost the usually reliable 50+ demo for the first time.
  • The XFL had an okay first week of ratings and they've dropped heavily every week since.
____________________________

Raw Results 3/30:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • A video package of AJ Styles talking poo poo about Undertaker aired. Taker did a promo direct to camera saying AJ was too scared to come to WWE 15 years ago, and was jealous of Michelle McCool having a better Styles Clash than him.
  • Becky Lynch came out to cut a promo which immediately transitioned into a replay of the Ronda/Becky/Charlotte main event of last year's Wrestlemania.
  • Nearly an hour later, Becky continued her promo but promptly got choked out by Shayna Baszler
  • Aleister Black defeated Jason Cade in a singles match.
  • Zelina Vega announced US Champion Andrade had suffered a rib injury and wasn't medically cleared, but she'd "signed" Austin Theory to step up to cover for him.
  • Kevin Owens and The Street Profits defeated Seth Rollins, Angel Garza and Austin Theory in a six man tag. Montez Ford destroyed himself on an over-the-top-rope dive that Theory didn't catch him on AT ALL, and Seth hit Owens with a Curb Stomp immediately after Owens got the pinfall.
  • Kevin Owens cut a post-match promo on Rollins about their Wrestlemania match.
  • Video packages for Wrestlemania are still heavily featuring Roman Reigns, who pulled out of the show.
  • Edge cut a promo in a dark room about Randy Orton and their Last Man Standing Match at Wrestlemania.
  • The Kabuki Warriors will be defending their Women's Tag Titles against Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross at Wrestlemania.
  • Asuka defeated Kayden Carter in a singles match. She mocked Carter before the match but Carter got in a good amount of offense before submitting to the Asuka Lock. Postmatch she got on commentary and talked poo poo in Japanese at Alexa, and then grooved to her music for a bit. Asuka rules.
  • Video was shown of Charlotte Flair jumping Rhea Ripley outside the Performance Center.
  • A replay aired of Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio at Survivor Series 2019.
  • The commentary team ran down the entire list of matches for Wrestlemania and are STILL claiming Roman vs. Goldberg is happening.
  • Paul Heyman cut a promo for Brock Lesnar (standing in the ring) on Drew McIntyre. He guaranteed that Brock would still be the headliner/champion for next year's Wrestlemania.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

Smackdown Results 3/27:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Bayley and Sasha had verbal confrontations in the ring with Lacey Evans and Naomi. Tamina came to the ring and beat up Lacey and Naomi.
  • Drew Gulak defeated Shinsuke Nakamura, meaning Daniel Bryan gets an Intercontinental Title match against Sami Zayn at Wrestlemania.
  • Otis tried to attack Ziggler backstage but was held back. They angrily agreed to a match at Wrestlemania.
  • Elias sang a song making fun of Baron Corbin. Baron Corbin ran in and beat him up and knocked him off the crow's nest in a hilariously badly edited bit.
  • Alexa Bliss defeated Asuka in a singles match. Nikki Cross was going insane on commentary with Michael Cole.
  • A replay aired of Roman Reigns vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania 32. They openly said that Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg at Wrestlemania this year was still happening despite Roman pulling out due to concerns about the coronavirus. After the replay, Triple H even did a promo about Roman/Goldberg as if it was still happening.
  • Mandy wasn't happy with Dolph being mean to Otis, Dolph appears to be scheming with Sonya Deville.
  • Bray Wyatt challenged John Cena to a Firefly Funhouse match at Wrestlemania.
  • The Usos vs. The New Day for a shot at the Smackdown Tag Titles at Wrestlemania was thrown out when Miz and Morrison attacked them.
  • Michael Cole informed Miz and Morrison that they would have to face New Day and The Usos in a Triple Threat ladder match for the titles at Wrestlemania.
  • The New Day took out Miz and Morrison and taunted them while the Usos watched from ringside to end the show.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

NXT Results 3/25:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • NXT Takeover matches will now be taking place on regular episodes of NXT, due to Takeover being canceled because of the coronavirus.
  • Tyler Breeze defeated Austin Theory in a singles match.
  • Killian Dain defeated Tehuti Miles in a singles match.
  • Cameron Grimes defeated Tony Nese in a singles match.
  • Xia Li was shown injured by an ambush by a "mystery attacker" backstage, and a returning Io Shirai "coincidentally" replaced her against Aaliyah for a spot in the Number One Contender's Ladder Match.
  • A Keith Lee in-ring promo turned into another brawl between Lee, Dijakovic and Damian Priest.
  • Adam Cole cut a promo from poolside while on "vacation", where he challenged Velveteen Dream to a match... against fellow TUE member Bobby Fish.
  • Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch defeated Shane Thorne & Brendan Vink in a tag-team match.
  • Candice LeRae defeated Hayden Carter in a singles match to qualify for the Number One Contender's Ladder Match.
  • Matt Riddle defeated Roderick Strong in a singles match. Riddle was jumped afterwards by two unnamed men who are being managed by Malcolm Bivens (Stokely Hathaway).
  • The losers in the Ladder match qualifiers so far get one last shot next week for the remaining spot, in a Gauntlet Match.
  • Triple H moderated a confrontation between Tommaso Ciampa and Johnny Gargano, warning them that Regal wanted them fired after last week.
  • They booked an "Empty Arena" match to settle their differences once and for all.
  • A video played right at the end of the show warning that the End Times are coming which is... well, yeah, great timing, WWE.
  • The one post made during the entire show.
____________________________

Raw Results 3/23:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Due to coronavirus concerns, Raw is once again at the Performance Center.
  • Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman opened the show. Heyman cut a promo on Drew McIntyre.
  • A replay aired of the (excellent) Brock Lesnar/John Cena/Seth Rollins match from Royal Rumble 2015.
  • AJ Styles challenged The Undertaker to a Boneyard match.
  • Angel Garza and Andrade will face the Street Profits at Wrestlemania for a title match. Angel and Charly Caruso flirted.
  • Angel Garza and Andrade defeated Ricochet and Cedric Alexander in a tag match. Raw Tag Team Champions Street Profits were on guest commentary.
  • The Street Profits defeated Shane Thorne and Brendan Vink in a tag match.
  • Video aired of R-Truth winning the 24/7 title from Riddick Moss.
  • Becky Lynch attacked Shayna Baszler from behind during an in-ring sitdown interview.
  • Aleister Black OBLITERATED jobber opponent Leon Ruff in a singles match. Black is facing Bobby Lashley at Wrestlemania (ok?).
  • Kevin Owens called out Seth Rollins. Seth gave a long speech, after he finished Owens said he wasn't going to stand around and listen to him make speeches. Seth then proceeded to make another long speech while Owens stood and listened.
  • A replay aired of Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka at Wrestlemania 34. Afterwards Charlotte gave a promo about her match with Rhea Ripley at Wrestlemania 36.
  • Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa must "answer to" HHH on NXT this week.
  • Randy Orton ended the show with a promo accepting Edge's challenge for a match at Wrestlemania.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

Smackdown 3/20:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Michael Cole and Mojo Rawley introduced Rob Gronkowski as the Host of Wrestlemania. Baron Corbin interupted, then Elias, and Gronkowski "advocated" that Elias and Corbin have a match at Wrestlemania.
  • Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak defeated Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura in a tag match, causing Sami Zayn to go into a frothing rage on commentary.
  • Backstage, Sami agreed to put his Intercontinental Title on the line against Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania if Drew Gulak could beat Shinsuke Nakamura in a match next week.
  • Paige (via Skype) informed Bayley that she would be defending her Smackdown Women's Title in a 6-Pack challenge at Wrestlemania against Lacey Evans, Dana Brooke, Tamina, Naomi and Sasha Banks.
  • A replay of John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt from Wrestlemania 30 aired.
  • Alexa Bliss challenged Asuka to have a match next week.
  • Miz and Morrison did a Dirtsheet segment mocking fans of the Usos, The New Day, and Heavy Machinery.
  • Miz and Morrison defeated Heavy Machinery by DQ after Otis lost his poo poo when Dolph Ziggler came out and showed off pictures of himself and Mandy Rose.
  • Roman Reigns and Goldberg signed their contract for a Universal Title match at Wrestlemania. The show ended with the two having a staredown.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

NXT Results 3/18:
  • This was a special recap show with no new matches, featuring a series of video packages and mini-documentaries about various characters/storylines going on in NXT.
  • Full Details here.
____________________________

Raw Results 3/16:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Due to coronavirus, Raw aired from the Performance Center.
  • Edge cut an in-ring promo on Randy Orton.
  • Becky arrived at the PC in a big truck with airbrushed pictures of her on it.
  • They just straight up replayed the entire men’s Royal Rumble Match for the next hour-and-a-half.
  • Undertaker showed up for a contract signing, AJ Styles appeared on the titantron and said he was in the back. He signed the contract and sent Gallows and Anderson to deliver it to Taker, who beat them both up.
  • Roman Reigns and Goldberg will sign their contract for a Wrestlemania match on Smackdown.
  • Rey Mysterio defeated US Champion Andrade in a non-title match. Asuka was on guest commentary ranting angrily in Japanese because she wanted Andrade to win.
  • Becky Lynch came to the ring and cut a promo on Shayna Baszler, who was shown watching backstage.
  • Kevin Owens cut a promo backstage on Seth Rollins, as well as putting over the Performance Center.
  • Steve Austin came out and cut a promo to the empty arena about 3/16 being a National Holiday, then gave Byron Saxton a Stunner.
  • Becky Lynch came out for a beer bash with Austin. Austin gave Bryon another Stunner.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

Smackdown Results 3/13:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • WWE eventually caved and cancelled Smackdown in the Little Caesar's Arena in Detroit and held it in the Performance Center instead.
  • HHH joined Michael Cole on commentary.
  • Paige did not attend the show as advertised, instead Sasha & Bayley promoed with Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross.
  • Sasha & Bayley defeated Alexa & Nikki in a tag match after Asuka "came out of the crowd" to attack Alexa and Sasha submitted Nikki.
  • Roman Reigns was interviewed about his match against Goldberg at Wrestlemania.
  • Jeff Hardy and Baron Corbin had a confrontation backstage.
  • Daniel Bryan asked Drew Gulak if he would be a coach/teacher for him. Sami Zayn mocked Bryan which lead to Cesaro getting in Bryan's face.
  • Jerusalem posted:

    Elimination Chamber Results 3/8:
    • The Miz & John Morrison (C) won the Tag Team Elimination Chamber match to retain their Smackdown Tag Team Titles.
    • Order of elimination was: Lucha House Party eliminated by Heavy Machinery. Heavy Machinery eliminated by Ziggler and Roode. Ziggler and Roode eliminated by The Usos. The New Day eliminated by Miz and Morrison. The Usos eliminated by The Miz and Morrison.
  • After the bulk of an hour of the show was taken up with the above replay, Miz and Morrison cut a promo in the empty Performance Center.
  • Mojo Rawley confirmed that Rob Grownkowski is joining WWE.
  • Daniel Bryan defeated Cesaro in a singles match. Shinsuke attacked Bryan post-match and Drew Gulak came to his defense, which lead to Sami, Shinsuke and Cesaro beating up Drew till Bryan came to his aid.
  • Jeff Hardy defeated Baron Corbin in a singles match after a distraction by Elias.
  • John Cena did a promo to close the show, which was cut off by the arrival of Bray Wyatt who cut his own promo ending with asking Cena,"Let me in, John."
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

NXT Results 3/11:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • The show aired from the WWE Performance Center.
  • Keith Lee (C) defeated Cameron Grimes to retain the NXT North American Championship.
  • Damien Priest attacked Lee post-match but was in turn taken out by Dominik Dijakovic who was taken out himself by Keith Lee.
  • Mia Yim defeated Dakota Kai to get a spot in the Ladder Match at the next Takeover for Number One Contendership to the NXT Women's Championship. Raquel Gonzalez took out Mia Yim post-match.
  • KUSHIDA defeated Raul Mendoza in a singles match.
  • Tyler Breeze and Austin Theory traded insults during a videotaped segment.
  • Rhea Ripley and Charlotte Flair got into a brawl.
  • Raul Mendoza was kidnapped and driven away in a car, possibly by the ninjas that drew a dick on Samoa Joe's head back in TNA.
  • Tegan Nox also qualified for the Ladder Match at Takeover by defeating Deonna Perazzo in a singles match.
  • Velveteen Dream and NXT Champion Adam Cole talked poo poo at each other.
  • The Brozerweights (C) defeated Undisputed Era to retain the NXT Tag Team titles.
  • Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa had a massive brawl throughout the Performance Center to close the show, with both guys ending up crashing through the announce table from the Eagle's Nest.
  • Show Discussion starts here.
____________________________

Raw Results 3/9:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Becky Lynch opened the show with a promo about Shayna Baszler, who will face her for the Raw Women's Title at Wrestlemania.
  • Rey Mysterio defeated Angel Garza in a singles match.
  • Seth Rollins watched as AOP and Buddy Murphy beat up Kevin Owens backstage.
  • Charlotte Flair and Rhea Ripley faced off during a promo in the ring to build for their Wrestlemania match.
  • Bobby Lashley defeated Zack Ryder in a singles match. Lana wasn't with Bobby.
  • Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy visited Aleister Black in his spooky room and threatened him if he didn't join them. Black said took that as a challenge and accepted a fight with Seth.
  • Drew McIntyre defeated Erick Rowan in a singles match. Drew also crushed the cage with the fake spider in it with the steel steps.
  • The Kabuki Warriors defeated Nattie and Liv Morgan in a non-title match.
  • AJ Styles cut a promo calling Undertaker a broken down pathetic old man being exploited by his wife. The great thing about this is if AJ beats Taker at Mania, he beat a pathetic old man, and if Taker beats AJ, then AJ was beaten by a pathetic old man. Masterful storytelling.
  • Riddick Moss (C) defeated Cedric Alexander to retain the 24/7 Championship.
  • MVP did an in-ring promo introducing Edge who he wanted to manage. Edge beat MVP up when Orton didn't come out. Orton jumped Edge from behind but Edge fought him off, then gave two Con-Chair-Tos to MVP before chasing after Orton.
  • A video package aired hyping Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre at Wrestlemania.
  • Aleister Black defeated Seth Rollins by DQ when Buddy Murphy got involved. AOP attacked Black too but then the Viking Raiders and Street Profits made the save.
  • Seth Rollins, Buddy Murphy and AOP defeated The Viking Raiders and The Street Profits in an 8-man tag.
  • Kevin Owens jumped Seth Rollins postmatch but got overwhelmed, curbstomped and left lying as Seth stood triumphant in the ring to end the show.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

Elimination Chamber Results 3/8:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • The Viking Raiders defeated Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder on the pre-show.
  • Daniel Bryan defeated Drew Gulak by ref stoppage in a singles match to open the PPV.
  • Andrade (C) defeated Humberto Carrillo to retain his United States Championship.
  • The Miz & John Morrison (C) won the Tag Team Elimination Chamber match to retain their Smackdown Tag Team Titles.
  • Order of elimination was: Lucha House Party eliminated by Heavy Machinery. Heavy Machinery eliminated by Ziggler and Roode. Ziggler and Roode eliminated by The Usos. The New Day eliminated by Miz and Morrison. The Usos eliminated by The Miz and Morrison.
  • Aleister Black defeated AJ Styles in a singles No Disqualification match. Undertaker arrived to take out The OC towards the end of the match, and Black beat Styles with the Black Mass.
  • The Street Profits (C) defeated Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy to retain the Raw Tag Team Titles.
  • Sami Zayn, Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro defeated Braun Strowman (C) in a 1-on-3 handicap match for the Intercontinental Title.
  • Sami got the pin to become the new champion, and Shinsuke and Cesaro celebrated happily for their friend’s success. Braun was livid at Sami for following the explicit rules of the match that Braun not only agreed to but raised as a possibility in the first place.
  • Shayna Baszler won the Elimination Chamber main event to gain a title shot against Becky Lynch at Wrestlemania.
  • Order of elimination was: Sarah Logan submitted by Shayna. Ruby Riott submitted by Shayna. Nattie submitted by Shayna. Liv passed out in a submission by Shayna. Asuka submitted by Shayna.
  • This was one of the worst matches of the year and one of the most bafflingly booked in recent memory.
  • Becky didn’t even come out at the end of the show.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

Smackdown Results 3/6:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • A Moment of Bliss ran through the Hall of Fame inductees for this year (JBL was booed) and had Nash, Hall and X-Pac of the nWo on their show.
  • Sami Zayn, Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro came out to talk poo poo to the nWo, then got chased off by Braun Strowman.
  • Bayley and Sasha Banks defeated Lacey Evans and Naomi clean in a tag match. Commentary made no bones about the fact this was a clean and straightforward win. Backstage Bayley and Sasha celebrated and said they should skip Wrestlemania and go straight to the Hall of Fame.
  • Sheamus defeated Apollo Crews in a singles match with a SINGLE offensive move after taking a bunch of offense from him. Before the match, Apollo had turned down Chad Gable's offer of support.
  • Daniel Bryan challenged Drew Gulak to a match at the PPV to prove Drew's claim he knew all of Bryan's weaknesses.
  • Fire & Desire (Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville) defeated Carmella and Dana Brooke in a tag match. Dolph Ziggler is now accompanying Fire & Desire to the ring.
  • On Firefly Funhouse, Ramblin' Rabbit gave exposition on why The Fiend hates John Cena. Bray Wyatt's nervous reaction to this was hilarious.
  • Baron Corbin and Elias had a standoff backstage. Otis apologized to Mandy Rose for his recent behavior but she said it was too late.
  • Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode won the Tag Team Gauntlet match to earn the right to leave the Pods last at the Tag Title Elimination Chamber match at the PPV of the same name.
  • The order of elimination was: New Day eliminated by Heavy Machinery; Lucha House Party eliminated by Heavy Machinery; The Usos eliminated by Heavy Machinery; The Miz & Morrison eliminated by Heavy Machinery (they attacked Heavy Machinery afterwards); Heavy Machinery eliminated by Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode.
  • Also apparently whoever is sending the static signals on the show the last few weeks can specifically affect just television monitors in the background of backstage shots but leave the live feed of the show alone.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

NXT Results 3/4:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Dakota Kai defeated Tegan Nox in a Steel Cage match (designed to prevent interference) following copious interference by Raquel Gonzalez.
  • Finn Balor issued a warning to WALTER that he would see him sooner than he thought.
  • Chelsea Green defeated Shotzi Blackheart in a singles match.
  • A mysterious vignette for an apparently new wrestler aired.
  • Cameron Grimes is getting a NXT North American Championship match next week against champion Keith Lee, who promised him an equal opportunity rear end-beating.
  • Undisputed Era defeated Danny Burch & Oney Lorcan (now known as Brit-Am Bruisers?) in a tag match.
  • Grizzled Young Veterans jumped The Brozerweights while they were talking poo poo back and forth with Undisputed Era.
  • Austin Theory defeated Isaiah "Swerve" Scott in a singles match.
  • Johnny Gargano lost his cool at Mauro Renallo in a sit-down interview where he refused to explain why he turned against Tommaso Ciampa.
  • Brozerweights will defend their tag titles against TUE next week.
  • Roderick Strong defeated Velveteen Dream in a steel cage match main event, when Dream shoved Strong out of the cage so he could lock himself in with NXT Champion Adam Cole and attack him.
  • Dream posed with the NXT Championship to end the show.
  • Show Discussion happens here.
____________________________

Raw Results 3/2:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar opened the show to talk poo poo about Drew McIntyre. Drew showed up and laid out Brock three times with Claymore Kicks. The crowd loved Drew.
  • The Street Profits defeated Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy (C) to become the new Raw Tag Team Champions. Seth has demanded a rematch at Elimination Chamber.
  • Riddick Moss (C) defeated Ricochet to retain the 24/7 Championship. Riddick Moss. Defeated Ricochet. Riddick Moss.
  • AJ Styles is pissed at Undertaker and also Mark Wahlberg.
  • Aleister Black defeated first Karl Anderson and then Luke Gallows (the latter by DQ) to get a match against AJ Styles.
  • AJ Styles defeated Aleister Black in a singles match after The OC laid Black out before the match started.
  • Liv Morgan defeated Ruby Riott in a quick singles match with Sarah Logan as guest referee.
  • No Way Jose asked Erick Rowan very nicely if he could see what was in his cage and Rowan agreed. It was a toy tarantula.
  • Shayna Baszler defeated Kairi Sane by submission despite a distraction from Becky Lynch coming out to join the Raw commentary team. Sane was a last minute replacement for Asuka who apparently has a sprain. Shayna attacked Kairi postmatch and Asuka at ringside apparently did nothing?
  • Rey Mysterio and Humberto Carrillo defeated Andrade and Angel Garza in a tag match. This was a really good match.
  • The Street Profits (C) vs. Rollins/Murphy was added to Elimination Chamber, as was a No-DQ match between AJ Styles and Aleister Black.
  • Beth Phoenix came out to address Edge's status (he's advertised for next week) but Randy Orton cut her off before he could.
  • Orton gave a long but solid heel promo FINALLY explaining why he attacked Edge, in order to save him from being crippled by somebody looking to make a name for themselves.
  • Orton claimed Beth was an enabler for Edge's addiction for wrestling, and claimed he loved Edge and Beth's kids (and Edge himself) more than she did. Beth, who spent most of the promo weeping or looking sad, slapped him and kicked him on the dick, and he hit her with an RKO.
  • The show ended with concerned wrestlers and officials gathered around Beth in the ring checking on her.
  • GDT Discussion here.
____________________________

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Mar 31, 2020

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Reserved for my favorite WWE-related posts this month.



jesus WEP posted:

Love the irony that Miz spent 15 years not catching anything and then,


quote:

Benne posted:

I thought Brock was already in the country before the travel ban started.

Even if he isn't, Vince just needs one phone call to his buddy in the White House to get him over

Lamuella posted:

Vince hasn't been able to get anyone over for years.

CrcleSqreSanchz posted:

You want good posts on WWE? Sure, here you fukkin goooooo



Endless Mike posted:

Stone Cold driving around in a truck that says "LASS KICKER" on it might be a bit on the nose.




quote:

JUNGLE BOY posted:

I shorted WWE and made a lot of money lmao

Intruder posted:

Sorry but there's no correlation between short and money in WWE

Intruder posted:

Five minute hack job, be kind please



quote:

Hopkins FBI posted:

Didn't Taz expose himself to a minor once?

Seth Rollins posted:

he was charged with child endangerment after the incident at the chocolate factory




Hopkins FBI posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS THE BEST OF WCW 1998 AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, MYSELF FROM 22 YEARS AGO. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. GETTING EASILY WINDED WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME JUGGALO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP THE JACKHAMMER. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY MAIN EVENTED WRESTLEMANIA IN THEIR 50'S. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO MY SON AND ALL HE DOES IS PROVE TEENAGERS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 6 HOURS INCLUDING CONCUSSION TREATMENT EVERY MORNIng


quote:

fatherofmustard posted:

Backstage did 18k viewers.

karmicknight posted:

holy poo poo, there are twitch streamers I watch that do better numbers.

Seth Rollins posted:

the culture has changed

quote:

Big Huski Boi posted:

Sometimes I wish there was a device that could show me exactly how WWE would ruin all the best wrestlers in the world.

History Comes Inside! posted:

It's called a television

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Mar 31, 2020

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003



How are they going to fit both Usos into one EC pod?

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

Dell_Zincht posted:

How are they going to fit both Usos into one EC pod?

Call the cops and ask how they fit them in the same drunk tank?

STING 64
Oct 20, 2006

TheKingslayer posted:

Call the cops and ask how they fit them in the same drunk tank?

Close thread.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Good thread title IMO

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



What would Drew Gulak know about beating Daniel Bryan


Drew Gulak is a jobber

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.

TheKingslayer posted:

Call the cops and ask how they fit them in the same drunk tank?

drat

FullMetalJackoff
Feb 15, 2004

Waluigi want his fucking Amiibo
drat, hell of a PPVohsorrywrongpromotionthread.

Keeping it WWE related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-o0EsRd1zs

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Intruder posted:

Good thread title IMO

Thank you for coming up with it :)

Neodoomium posted:

What would Drew Gulak know about beating Daniel Bryan

Drew Gulak is a jobber

All of his advice has been real solid and the jobbers lose when they ignore what he told them/is warning them about. Now maybe he can't beat Daniel Bryan himself, but if you're losing while NOT listening to him then what harm would it do a jobber to at least TRY it his way!?!

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
"the wwe stinks" - Seth Rollins, first post to be edited into the 2nd post of the March 2020 Rowdy Ringsports WWE thread.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


Neodoomium posted:

What would Drew Gulak know about beating Daniel Bryan


Drew Gulak is a jobber

Sometimes the best coaches weren't very good competitors in their sport.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005

ROCK HARD
Southpaw Wrestling will be back soon. So I guess there's that to look forward to?

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Excited to post here in the discussion thread for America's #2 company

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003



Rarity posted:

Excited to post here in the discussion thread for America's #2 company

And the World's #4 company.

Maybe even #5?

blunt
Jul 7, 2005

What's Punk's rear end video about? Why does it exist ... why is it on WWE.com?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

the rear end video is to prove that cm punk did not have a very huge staph infection above His butt and rear end during the time of the video as he had claimed.

Incessant Excess
Aug 15, 2005

Cause of glitch:
Pretentiousness

blunt posted:

What's Punk's rear end video about? Why does it exist ... why is it on WWE.com?

After leaving the company, Punk gave a podcast interview where he talked about having a big lump on his butt from a staph infection. The video was made and uploaded to discredit him, as there is no lump visible in the footage.

FullMetalJackoff
Feb 15, 2004

Waluigi want his fucking Amiibo
The lump made it flat, as opposed to his non staph-infected rear end being inverted like Hank Hill.

blunt
Jul 7, 2005

I see. So did they tweet out "look at punks healthy rear end" or something? How was it found?

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

There was a whole statement/response/press release thing

https://www.wwe.com/inside/wwe-addresses-cm-punk-allegations

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

WrasslorMonkey posted:

There was a whole statement/response/press release thing

https://www.wwe.com/inside/wwe-addresses-cm-punk-allegations

I think that video is just trolling me into staring into CM Punk's rear end for 3 solid minutes.

Why is there another ppv this week and why hasn't EC been sent to like, May, where it'd make sense? It's such a do-nothing ppv in this spot (all the ppvs are do-nothing I know but you know what I'm saying, too) and it could be a really fun gimmick to spice up the dead late spring/early summer months.

yes, everything is dead.

I know. You still know what I mean.

Dimebags Brain
Feb 18, 2013





A month before the biggest show of the year is the best time to put our talent through a grueling match where they take bumps on metal grating.

Incessant Excess
Aug 15, 2005

Cause of glitch:
Pretentiousness
I doubt Shayna will be taking many hard bumps.

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003



Dimebags Brain posted:

A month before the biggest show of the year is the best time to put our talent through a grueling match where they take bumps on metal grating.

They replaced the grating with padding a few years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnlE_HEKuc0

Dell_Zincht fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Mar 1, 2020

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003



Goldberg

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Paper Lion
Dec 14, 2009




As of current plans, between Mania 33 and 36 there will have been 4 matches for the universal title at mania. In all these matches, there have only been 4 participants: Brock, Goldberg, Roman and Seth.

Of the 3 matches that have happened so far, their combined total time is 23:40

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I think that video is just trolling me into staring into CM Punk's rear end for 3 solid minutes.
It was purposely intended to be ridiculous and to shift the conversation and everyone's attention from the really terrible thing they had done. And it largely succeeded because everyone talks about the video years later and not Punk's accusation.

TriffTshngo
Mar 28, 2010

Don't get it twisted who your enemies are.
don't watch world wrestling entertainment

Grant DaNasty
Jul 17, 2006

Southpaw Regional Wrestling is coming back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63WvaM7E0u4

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED
I like that the only thing cena will do for WWE now is wrestlemanias and southpaw

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
XPac is also going into the WWE Hall of Fame again with the nWo unless they changed it.

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

KungFu Grip posted:

XPac is also going into the WWE Hall of Fame again with the nWo unless they changed it.

what's crazy is that xpac rode so many coattails, but he was genuinely good, especially for the time.

I liked xpac but god he was so lame whenever he was on his own for whatever reason

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

STAC Goat posted:

And it largely succeeded because everyone talks about the video years later and not Punk's accusation.

Let's not give WWE too much credit here, people also don't talk about the accusations because Punk sold out to those he accused.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Dell_Zincht posted:

They replaced the grating with padding a few years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnlE_HEKuc0

The juiced audio when Roman wins is hilarious

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009
Soooo... how likely is it that they have to cancel WrestleMania, do we think? And how likely is it that they SHOULD but don't?

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Gaz-L posted:

Soooo... how likely is it that they have to cancel WrestleMania, do we think? And how likely is it that they SHOULD but don't?

They aren't going to cancel anything unless asked by the government and the chances of that happening are probably zero even if things get bad enough where it should be canceled.

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ADBOT LOVES YOU

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Gaz-L posted:

Soooo... how likely is it that they have to cancel WrestleMania, do we think? And how likely is it that they SHOULD but don't?

Steph said they’re monitoring it closely https://www.tampabay.com/sports/pro-wrestling/2020/02/27/as-tampas-wrestlemania-date-nears-wwe-watching-coronavirus/

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