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Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


We were going through our pantry trying to find something to store corn sugar in. Seeing what it might fit in. We took down a Danish Cookie tin (you know the ones) and inside were 18 small plastic bowls, 3 plastic forks, 2 plastic spoons, and two plastic knives from before we even lived in our current house. They are actually from when I graduated from college FIVE years ago. I cannot give them away. It's covid season and giving someone opened eating utensils seems like, I don't know, bad business. I don't want to throw them out, that seems seriously loving wasteful. What kind of human anus just takes a perfectly good and usable thing like that and just throws it into the trash? Even the recycle is a joke, since if it isn't aluminum cans it just gets thrown in the landfill anyway. I could just use them but, and I know this is silly, I really don't want my kid to see me be wasteful by using the loving things in front of him or him feeding himself using them and learning that it's totes normal to just use poo poo once and throw it away. I mean, despite being really cool and handsome I'm kind of in the mindset of not being wasteful. Our household is literally on the path to creating as little landfill waste as is possible for two human beings and a tiny human being.

I just don't know what to do? Do I just keep them forever? My hidden shame in the back of the pantry. Laughing at me? Mocking me? Maybe bury them in the desert outside Vegas?? Can I hire someone??? Like, some bad-rear end soldier of fortune or something? Do I tip someone like that? Percentage????? gently caress. I'm in this deep guys.

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Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



You can use tape or glue and pipe cleaners and make them into little soliders and turtles and they can live on

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



you can use heat to bend them into erotic poses and take photographs and black mail them for all of the secrets of cutlery

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



you can call them names like Spoonsan and Anthonfork and adopt them as your children and care for them for many years, you may have to bury one which is a tragedy no parent should have to experience how wretched

Crimson Harvest
Jul 14, 2004

I'm a GENERAL, not some opera floozy!


Lipstick Apathy

No matter what you do with them they're either going to end up burned or eroded into microscopic dust once they're out of your hands. Do whatever you want.

food court bailiff
Oct 2, 2007

fast n furious foodstuff



Soiled Meat

sid is correct, them’s some fine craftin’ spoons


just be careful you don’t end up with a toy story 4 situation

nullEntityRNG
Jun 23, 2010

Mostly pseudo-random.


This is serious LAP. What you need to do is take your video camera and make quick 30 second videos of various lifehacks using these. Sell them on youtube for all the cash, then use that to buy fine china you'll never use.

Tom Gorman
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts




Buglord

nullEntityRNG posted:

This is serious LAP. What you need to do is take your video camera and make quick 30 second videos of various lifehacks using these. Sell them on youtube for all the cash, then use that to buy fine china you'll never use.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



you could put them somewhere no one will ever find them like in a Danish cookie tin up in a high cupboard

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


Sid Vicious posted:

You can use tape or glue and pipe cleaners and make them into little soliders and turtles and they can live on

Okay.



Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



I love him his name is Forklin

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


nullEntityRNG posted:

This is serious LAP. What you need to do is take your video camera and make quick 30 second videos of various lifehacks using these. Sell them on youtube for all the cash, then use that to buy fine china you'll never use.

I made the turtle before I read this. gently caress. NOW HOW WILL I TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY SWEET loving LIFEHACKS!>!?!?!E>?!?

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


Sid Vicious posted:

I love him his name is Forklin

He came out kind cool for 20 seconds and some masking tape.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



He's handsome and suave and all the girl turtles are like man I wanna do sex with him even though he's a bowl?

nullEntityRNG
Jun 23, 2010

Mostly pseudo-random.


Literally A Person posted:

I made the turtle before I read this. gently caress. NOW HOW WILL I TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY SWEET loving LIFEHACKS!>!?!?!E>?!?

No you can salvage this. Take forklin and show how to make them. Sell them to a 'Cool crafts with your kids!' Youtube channel. They don't sell ad well so you'll probably have to downgrade to target silverware...but it can still work out.

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

Party Time! Be excellent to each other.



Sid Vicious posted:

I love him his name is Forklin

Perfect

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


nullEntityRNG posted:

No you can salvage this. Take forklin and show how to make them. Sell them to a 'Cool crafts with your kids!' Youtube channel. They don't sell ad well so you'll probably have to downgrade to target silverware...but it can still work out.

Finally MY name up in lights! My first step toward Broadway??? Maybe.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


Probably.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



Forklin on Ice

terminal chillness
Oct 16, 2008

This baby is off the charts

I'm glad you averted your crisis with craft, op

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


Sid Vicious posted:

Forklin on Ice

Didn't realize this was the "ITT MILLION DOLLAR IDEAS!!" thread. But upon close inspection it seems that in fact it is and we all gonna be money-aires!

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

GREETINGS FELLOW PERSONS, IT IS GOOD TO BE A PERSON, HERE, POSTING WITH YOU


terminal chillness posted:

I'm glad you averted your crisis with craft, op

It's times like these where we have to dig deep and really push the envelope of the reuse portion of the three r's.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan


Sid Vicious posted:

I love him his name is Forklin

5

strange feelings re Daisy
Aug 2, 2000



A bowl is just an upside down hat. As for the utensils: stack them all up then drill through the bottom of the grips. Put a machine screw through the hole and cap it off with a nut. Fan out the utensils in a circle. You now have a weapon of legend called the Meal Glaive.

RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012



Forklin is the hero gbs needs during these trying times

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019


just eat the forks, spoons and bowls. bite by bite. then you can compost your disposable flatware poops and grow flowers in the soil and then eat those flowers

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy

Use a sharpie and give it a nice face

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




have you tried wearing the bowls as a hat? hats are in baby.

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




you can also put a bowl inside of your pants over your sensitive area to protect the gonad during the sport of your choice.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



Hey it's Forklin, bein an upside down hat

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!






Ultra Carp

Use them to craft a good post and then share it with us



uh, good job. Now just eat off the rest of em and throw them out when you're done

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Dude. You and your wife/girlfriend should have a picnic.

reignonyourparade
Nov 15, 2012


This thread is a real GBS success story.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

Lol OP went to college

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all






Sid Vicious posted:

I love him his name is Forklin

goldmine.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

In a world gone mad,
we will not spank the monkey,
but the monkey will spank us.

Throw them away, OP, we promise not to tell. If you prefer to have a nervous breakdown over the issue instead, that's your choice so I couldn't give a fork.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007



Sid Vicious posted:

I love him his name is Forklin

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



your pain brings me joy, op

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

STILL ANGRY ABOUT CHEESE


Forklin should buy Something Awful.

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hockey jockey
Jan 4, 2010


I think ethically it would be fine to let your child have them as toys or for junk modelling. If kid is too young for pointy things, you have a handy tin to keep them in until they are older.

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