Is Alien: Covenant still terrible?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Is Alien: Covenant still terrible?

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

sure okay posted:

I liked the part where the robot taught the other robot how to masterbate (play the flute)

This and watching James Franco get burned alive make the movie Very Good

# ¿ Aug 31, 2020 20:32

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:40

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

End of Shoelace posted:

Yeah, but what IS it?

it�s weaponized space cum

# ¿ Aug 31, 2020 20:34

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

End of Shoelace posted:

How much does the atmosphere of the movie "Alien" weigh?

very carefully

# ¿ Aug 31, 2020 20:39

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

I wonder if there were any drafts that did a good job of visiting the engineers and interacting with their world before deciding to just nuke them.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2020 22:25

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Waterfall Watcher posted:

looks pretty.
Why does Fast bender have next to ugly friend complex where he's a decent actor but it's like he chooses to only be in lovely movies.

nah

# ¿ Aug 31, 2020 23:42

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Yes, I�m sure the breakaway commercial success of that year really tanked a lot of careers

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 00:01

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Nobody even likes rocks in Aliens, let alone loves them

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 01:12

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Don�t know that I�d describe the cesarean delivery of a live alien as an abortion, but sure

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 01:32

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Prometheus is good, though

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 08:03

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

End of Shoelace posted:

All "Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom" needs to do is to be entertaining.

and is it ever!

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 14:11

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Please, no questions until after. If I hadn�t seen Convenant at an Alamo I drafthouse never would have seen this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JUD7rmHartE

And fallen in love with Superego, a podcast which saw me through some dark times.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 15:21

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Lol that any decent human being could ever forget fifeld and his love of rocks

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 19:16

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

I didn�t like Ex Machina or Annihilation overall, though the visual design of annihiliation was breathtaking and the chemistry between the four leads was good. It was also commendable for having �naturalistic� reactions to people finding themselves in a science fiction plot. It�s probably why I can�t bring myself to start watching Devs.

Mars Attacks is the better version of annihilation

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 20:31

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Prism Mirror Lens posted:

�Naturalistic� acting/characters isn�t the only thing to aim for in a movie

oh word?

# ¿ Sep 1, 2020 21:06

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Blade Runner 2049 is better for owning in high definition than its predecessor. It�s very gorgeous on a proper display.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 03:30

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

He kisses himself with tongue. How is that not better.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 03:41

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Mozi posted:

i don't have a problem w/ the map maker getting lost. ok, i get the point, it's not very subtle

i have a problem with the map maker just going and getting himself lost immediately with no justification. at least give me some reason to think 'ok, he's a legit map guy but due to circumstances he's lost now'. don't just have him wander off because then i'm not thinking 'ah, man's hubris is surely his doom,' i'm thinking 'this is loving stupid.'

same for all the other characters

he just...didn�t have anything to contribute in the GIGANTIC DEAD BODY ARENA

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 17:11

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Also he gets to have a night of passion with Charlize Theron�s alpha executive. Man, her performance is great and her death feels particularly cruel.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 18:16

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

If this were an accurate representation of RLM output I might like it.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 19:03

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Covenant is worse because no one likes rocks, let alone loves them

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 19:10

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Console Role Player posted:

What's the deal with Ian Holm trying to stuff a porno mag down Sigourney Weaver's throat? Sexual frustration stemming from his status as an artificial man? The closest thing to a weapon he had on hand? Maybe it's some kind of bizarre reenactment of what the facehugger does to John Hurt; that magazine is probably covered with genetic material and for all we know Ash the robot doesn't know how human beings reproduce and has never considered the enigma before being presented with the Alien. The fact that we are never given concrete reasons for his motivations annoy me. AND WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON WITH THAT MILK BLOOD?

Y'know, this whole 'Ash is a robot' thing seems like one idea too many for a film already cluttered with too many ideas to begin with.

I have no dog in this race. I just like writing stupid poo poo.

text me

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 23:58

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

The sequence where Ledward ties and the shuttle goes up in smoke is so well paced and gives me just the worst sense of dread as everything just immediately falls apart. Chewing my nails watching the pilot just barely keeping it together only to catastrophically panic. Everyone slipping on blood puddles like they�re on roller skates is the kind of thing that would have me laughing in any horror movie, but I didn�t in this one.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 03:11

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

It didn�t need a prequel, but Prometheus was still extremely entertaining and made a lot of money so it�s impossible to say whether it�s bad or not

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 03:18

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Randarkman posted:

Was the abortion scene in Prometheus a reshoot thing? Because as I remember it from the movie it kind of happens completely disconnected to everyone else. Noomi Rapace wakes up being operated on by the doctors, breaks free and escapes, uses the abortion machine to remove the alien hybrid thing, then just walks off and bumps into Guy Pearce getting kitted out, accompanied by that doctor/medical tech Shaw broke away from. There's like no acknowledgement alnmsot that it happened aside from the end where the CGI alien kills the CGI engineer man.

It felt weird to me and kidn of encapsulates the movie as a whole to me: It's a visually stunning movie with some great visual gags, but aside from that all of it kind of feels disjointed and hollow and aside from David and Noomi Rapace, all the characters just felt like expendable nobodies who were just there for the body count. And Noomi Rapace's character wasn't very interesting.

That said it kind of gets by on visuals. But it's a mess.

Covenant is also that, but it's also a rushed, cynical retread. It's halfway between being a kind of sequel to Prometheus as well as a retcon (David just kills all the Engineers, there's a line straight up just saying what the black goo is) and a by-the-numbers Alien/Aliens remake that hits all the beats of those movies in the second half, but at 2.5x speed and again disjointed and with wortless characters.

If you�re so stupid you think a cesarean delivery of a live organism is an abortion, you�re too stupid to have this conversation. Topic locked.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 15:01

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Randarkman posted:

Did Kenny Powers die in Covenant?

He and his hat survive.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 15:10

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

I�m Peter Weyland�s disgusting feet

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 18:58

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

If a friend invited me to come watch any movie on that list right now I would pick resurrection

# ¿ Sep 4, 2020 19:32

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Honestly I�m much less interested in blue ray anthologies in favor of unused drafts/scripts with their accompanying concept art

# ¿ Sep 5, 2020 17:11

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Collapsing Farts posted:

I know David killed Noomi because we see her body at some point in Covenant. How he got his body back is a mystery though

It is indefensible that this isn�t in the released film, yet the audience is expected to know this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ivv5ef4TDNw

# ¿ Sep 7, 2020 12:36

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Billy Crudup does a good job playing the kind of imbecile who would end up in a leadership position by attrition. I would rather kill myself than end up on a mission with James Franco as captain, that�s the least plausible part of the film.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2020 13:14

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Inshallah

# ¿ Sep 7, 2020 18:59

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

The Prometheus main theme sounds so much better than any bit of music we hear in Covenant. That�s a shame.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2020 14:17

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Try watching it on a television instead

# ¿ Sep 10, 2020 04:04

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:40

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

That scene is badly written because her character is neither an rear end in a top hat nor shitfaced. It�s really cruel the way she comes down on Logan Marshall Green�s character for an innocent slip of the tongue.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2020 08:12

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Is Alien: Covenant still terrible?