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Lets make a new gladiator
Goku
Evil Goku
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Jestery
Aug 2, 2016

D. HALL


To get us started here is a few types ripped straight from wikipedia but I think we can be more creative...



Andabata
A "blindfolded gladiator", or a "gladiator who fought blind".

Dimachaerus
The dimachaerus (Greek διμάχαιρος, "bearing two knives") used a sword in each hand.

Laquearius
The laquearius was a kind of retiarius who tried to catch his adversaries with a lasso
(YEEEEEEEHAAAAWWW)

Fyadius
The Fyadius would attempt to shitpost the opponent to death , would occasionally blip out of assistance and back in depending on the state of the lowtaxius

Sagittarius
The sagittarius was a mounted archer, armed with a reflex bow capable of propelling an arrow a great distance.

Scissor
The scissor (plural scissores) used a special short sword with two blades that looked like a pair of open scissors without a hinge.

Gurfonix
The Gurf would gently caress off gurf

Venator
The venator ("hunter") specialized in wild animal hunts instead of fighting them as the bestiarii did. As well as hunting they also performed tricks with animals such as putting an arm in a lion's mouth, riding a camel while leading lions on a leash, and making an elephant walk a tightrope.Technically they were not gladiators.

Uni-piedro
the one legged gladiator, well known to be a joke and widely considered ineffective.

helicocktorron
Records suggest this was the first recorded case of human powered flight. Their spiral shaped penis would be would up prior to the bout and then would enable the helikoktorron to flit around the Colosseum in short hops

Jestery fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Sep 18, 2020

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Inkfish
Mar 1, 2015



Super mario

A CRAB IRL
May 6, 2009

The Deadliest Crotch



Grimey Drawer

Super mario

Muk Dumpster
Jun 27, 2020


Text Here


Muper Sario

Jaguars!
Jul 31, 2012





Gymnophobist: These gladiators cultivated hideous but highly tanned maked bodies and repelled other gladiators by insisting that they would feel much less ashamed of their bodies if they fought in the nude.

Jockarius: The Jockarius' methods are shadowed by time but historians believe that they walked around the changing room coercing opponents into throwing fights by indiscriminate use of the towel whip.

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004



A Bonus : He has boners. He's a Boner Gladiator.

Inkfish
Mar 1, 2015



Lowtaxator

- decreased agility due to his back thing.
- combat bonus against female gladiators
- does funny lets plays

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009



Inkfish posted:

Lowtaxator

- decreased agility due to his back thing.
- combat bonus against female gladiators
- does funny lets plays

They're typically outclassed by German gladiators.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

one step done and another begun



Nap Ghost

Flatulatrix - uses a protective miasma as both a defensive shield as well as a potent chemical attack

Skeletome
Feb 4, 2011




Gun

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009


Super Ma-

oh god drat it

Sonic the Hedgehof

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011




"The Goon"

- Repels opposing gladiators and lowers their morale due to his non-existent hygiene and grooming standards

- Bombards enemies with encyclopedic knowledge of anime and video games, until the opponent is dazed and disoriented enough to make it safe to strike

- Severely overweight, making it nearly impossible to reach his vital organs, but also limiting his mobility

Inkfish posted:

Lowtaxator

- decreased agility due to his back thing.
- combat bonus against female gladiators
- does funny lets plays

Funny? This is a historical myth, no such Lowtaxator ever existed

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

Steve - he has a fishing rod with a spike on the base.

Stilticus maximus - fights on stilts, usually with a spear.

Glad he ate her - a cannibal gladiator.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011




Dadicus

- Turns down the thermostat until enemies are freezing, he himself is impervious

- Grills opponents with expert precision

- His jokes make enemies cringe and roll their eyes, lowering their Reflex defense

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner


not to be confused with the Dadgayicus who gets all hosed up on opium and crashes his chariots into his opponents

MD2020
May 29, 2003

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


Groverator. Lures his opponent into a shoddily-made domicile where various construction and occupational safety hazards await.

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

No, really, I don't.



the Doobius Maximus : this gladiator's armor was extremely dull and thick, but it was fitted with large vents that allowed it to breathe and not just plum give out. The Doobius Maximus fought with a short double-sided club with a comically undersized handle.

Although initially incredibly popular, people eventually realized how lame it was, and any event featuring them would be condemned to damnatio memoriae

Excelzior fucked around with this message at 14:29 on Sep 18, 2020

Jasus Christ
Dec 3, 2019

I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA



Eximia Porcus: That Pig with the huge balls, enters battle on a chariot driven by a happy Chinese man.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



SpinnBotaCus - With a giant rotating cooking pan atop his head, this gladiator spins rapidly to deflect blows and return an attack's kinetic force to his opponent

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

airy tender puffs



PARATHRESE- Mediocre at cards and real stinker. Weapon: throwing rectangles sharpened to a knife's edge. Special Skills: Can finish any man with footsie alone.

FUCK SNEEP
Apr 21, 2007





Biggus Dickus - He has a big sword

Korthal
May 26, 2011



Jasus Christ posted:

Eximia Porcus: That Pig with the huge balls, enters battle on a chariot driven by a happy Chinese man.

Excuse me, they belong in the circus maximus

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

Dildo Jones

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

Thanatos Gravestorm, halfling fishmonger

ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt


Darren, he just hangs out and chills and poo poo. Smokes mad reefer and whatnot.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


Sonix - Gotta Go Fast

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011




Big Beef City posted:

Sonix - Gotta Go Fast

lol

And he's a captured Gallic villager

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



Tormpus: poo poo he pants but it actually drains the coliseum

Jasus Christ
Dec 3, 2019

I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA



Korthal posted:

Excuse me, they belong in the circus maximus

Dang, ok what if it's a transformer, and the gladiator is the humanoid state of transformation. Balls on the chest, or dangling from each elbow.

Inkfish
Mar 1, 2015



A noble wandering ronin with a sweet ninja sword

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




THRUNG - huge balls. his only armor is on his balls. his weapon is a tiny net.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

imo in the film Gladiator they killed off that one the german guy too early. The burly guy with the big rock on a stick. He and his rock should've had their day in the arena.

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

The Sadiator- This demoralizing gently caress goes around telling people how wrong it is to kill and there's no honor in slaying for the pleasures of the masses.
gently caress this guy!

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

Madiator- Angry, violent psychotic killer. This is the one you want on your side, as long as you always make sure you're behind him at all times and he never sees you because if he does, you're dead!

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

Plaidiator- Usually dies first because of his ensemble choice. The colors are ridiculous!

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

Nadiator- Fights dirty, goes for the balls every loving time. God drat this guy!

Zeriel
Nov 6, 2004

To give an idea of the maturity of this post


Gludius Incontinitial was a Tarsus fight man with three fists. Legend tells he once got so mad and drunk he drove his chariot to mount Olympus and punched zeus right in the dick.

Inverted Icon
Apr 8, 2020


Soul reaver

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011




Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

The Sadiator- This demoralizing gently caress goes around telling people how wrong it is to kill and there's no honor in slaying for the pleasures of the masses.
gently caress this guy!

The Badiator - Extremely incompetent buffoon gladiator who still makes it to a ripe old age since gladiator fights were much less deadly than how they're represented in contemporary popular media.

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Inkfish
Mar 1, 2015



Slenderman

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