Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Keep on jammin'


Some people say that the oldest trick in the book is tying someone's shoelaces together while they're sitting down. Other people think that it's setting a bag of doggy doo-doo on fire on their front stoop. Of course, we're all much smarter than those people, and know what the actual oldest trick is...

Bonus points if you can elucidate what the book is too

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Grump
Jun 18, 2012

surprise, dad. while you were witnessing the pennsylvania state lottery i tried on all your work gloves and they looked very handsome on me

haha this thread OP? iím not falling for it this time. thatís the oldest trick in the book

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you

which arrhythmia are you

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.


Getting someone to pay money to have their dick pleasured OP.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Keep on jammin'


Deadbeat Poetry posted:

which arrhythmia are you

Look, does it matter? Ask me something only I would know and shoot the other one!

ConanThe3rd
Mar 27, 2009


Whatever the weak did to the strong to convince them that an imaginary number, represented by coins and bits of paper, that summiesed their assets meant anything in the 'Do not murder and steal their assets' stakes.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

100% rad


The "oldest trick" is a prostitution term, which is coincidentally the oldest profession.

TheAardvark
Mar 3, 2019


I've always been a fan of the ol "bucket on top of the door" trick

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Keep on jammin'


Rad-daddio posted:

The "oldest trick" is a prostitution term, which is coincidentally the oldest profession.

Oh, if that's the case, I'm pretty sure the oldest trick is your mother.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

100% rad


Arrhythmia posted:

Oh, if that's the case, I'm pretty sure the oldest trick is your mother.

Her favorite trick was to crouch down behind Johns and have the other hookers push them over. it was good laughs.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

The olí spicy keychain

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Suckin out the rear end lining for to make sausage

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

The Epic of Gilgamesh is widely considered the oldest book, so Iím guessing the oldest trick is contained somewhere in its pages. That Enkidu is a wily son of a bitch so I bet he definitely got up to some crazy shenanigans OP!

Tom Gorman
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts




for like 600 years you could have someone killed and all you had to do was accuse them of heresy, that's a pretty good prank

mexican willie
Mar 17, 2007



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgO1LUijb0k

Frankie
Feb 22, 2006

<this space left intentionally blank, will be updated later. Fuck Lowtax>


It's pretending to go in for a peaceful handshake then stealing your Schwartz ring instead.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.



Turning them.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004
Im gonna put cupcakes on your mind


Arrhythmia posted:

Some people say that the oldest trick in the book is tying someone's shoelaces together while they're sitting down. Other people think that it's setting a bag of doggy doo-doo on fire on their front stoop. Of course, we're all much smarter than those people, and know what the actual oldest trick is...

Bonus points if you can elucidate what the book is too

Murder

FlocksOfMice
Feb 3, 2009


Hitting your brother with a rock in the back of the head when you tell him to look over there

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

one step done and another begun



Nap Ghost

going 'oh no, look behind you!' and then running away

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


The ol' spicy snake apple trick

food court bailiff
Oct 2, 2007

fast n furious foodstuff



Soiled Meat

FlocksOfMice posted:

Hitting your brother with a rock in the back of the head when you tell him to look over there

it's actually convincing someone that this fancy forbidden fruit will make them equals to god

a close second involves draping a bunch of goat furs over yourself so your blind idiot dad mistakes you for your hirsute (werewolf?) older brother and grants you the firstborn's inheritance

witchy
Apr 23, 2019

one step forward one step back


prob something from the bible, like when god pranked abraham by pretending to make him kill his son

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

At the end of 2018, a study was published by London Metropolitan University showing that certain bacteria, normally present only in intestinal tracts or feces, were found on McDonald's self-service screens.



witchy posted:

prob something from the bible, like when god pranked abraham by pretending to make him kill his son

Or before that, the time Lot's daughters got him drunk enough to have sex with them. Can you imagine that lmao. Give your old man some wine and then go for a roll in the hay. Twice.

NLJP
Aug 26, 2004




Farting in your man's lap

null_pointer
Nov 9, 2004

Center in, pull back. Stop. Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop.

A handful of dust thrown in someone's eyes

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

pro hobo

Silent Majority
THE DON







the sucker punch

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

Ligma

SubnormalityStairs
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"



Grimey Drawer

turn off your monitor

witchy
Apr 23, 2019

one step forward one step back


Jose Oquendo posted:

Or before that, the time Lot's daughters got him drunk enough to have sex with them. Can you imagine that lmao. Give your old man some wine and then go for a roll in the hay. Twice.

yea dam there's a lot of good japes, ruses, and pranks in there. maybe like the whole thing is the ancient equivalent of jackass

Chomp8645
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

The olí spicy keychain

the heebie-gbs
Apr 23, 2007

♫ twerrrmmmmm ♫
       /


I've got you Dedi to rights here OP

World War Mammories
Aug 25, 2006



Jose Oquendo posted:

Or before that, the time Lot's daughters got him drunk enough to have sex with them. Can you imagine that lmao. Give your old man some wine and then go for a roll in the hay. Twice.

surely the original trick would be creating this incredible garden for a couple of semi-sentient automatons and going DON'T EAT FROM THIS ONE TREE. NO I WILL NOT EXPLAIN WHY NOR USE MY OMNIPOTENCE TO LIKE PUT A FENCE AROUND IT OR MAKE SURE NO ONE ENCOURAGES YOU TO OR ANYTHING. LMAO PRANKED

Scott Lame
Jan 8, 2014


witchy posted:

prob something from the bible, like when god pranked abraham by pretending to make him kill his son

Genesis 1:10 And God sayeth unto Adam, 'Sayeth ye what'? And Adam did replyest 'What?' And the Lord did speaketh 'Chicken Butt'

Spazzle
Jul 5, 2003




Scott Lame posted:

Genesis 1:10 And God sayeth unto Adam, 'Sayeth ye what'? And Adam did replyest 'What?' And the Lord did speaketh 'Chicken Butt'

It is funnier in greek.

Banana Republican
Jul 11, 2007





Is that a young Cenk Uygur?

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





probably that thing where you tap someone on the shoulder, but it's on the opposite side from the one you're standing next to, and they look over and nobody is there

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



they actually photoshop porn dicks to look SMALLER, those big ole dongs are far larger IRL

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Nap Ghost

Frankie posted:

It's pretending to go in for a peaceful handshake then stealing your Schwartz ring instead.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

100% rad


20 Blunts posted:

they actually photoshop porn dicks to look SMALLER, those big ole dongs are far larger IRL

object in mirror are CLOSER and LARGER than they appear.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply