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Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

This one time my car broke down and I managed to get it into the parking lot of this really small apartment complex that was mostly inhabited by old people and I was waiting for triple A but this old guy came out and tried to fight me even though I was obviously only hanging around my busted car waiting for service.

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Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm



Im not gay

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



I've had a whitenoise alt all this time where I'm obviously a guy and everyone is fooled

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

I live on the fictional continent of Zealandia.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009



Fun Shoe

Jeffrey of YOSPOS is definitely not Lowtax's parachute account to allow him to continue sponging cookie money off goons as he beats his way through wives 4, 5, and 6

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

I made a thread like this a while back and the first couple pages just filled up with obvious "say the opposite" joke posts. it was disappointing, but after those people got bored, some curious and creative people came in with some thoughtfully artful ways to write convincingly even when the entire premise of the thread was that everything in it was false- a couple times even I forgot they were spinning tall-tales, the stories were so engrossing. we spent a couple pages amusing each other in the structured chaos. some people chimed in and didn't do a great job, but I appreciated the effort. it wasn't a super successful thread, but it turned out pretty enjoyable in the end and I walked away with a greater appreciation for goon creativity, and I hope this thread will have a similarly clever turn-out

anyway, here's my lie: I have never actually seen the movie austin powers. I just absorbed so much of it from cultural osmosis thatI never actually had to sit down and watch it to be able to talk about it or quote it

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

E: nah

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.


caught this before the edit

you're not wrong

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

The truth is that people have been feeding the transformer a buttload of white supremacist poo poo because I got something like this 3 out of 10 times. Which seems like a lot.

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 04:31 on May 10, 2021

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


I'm Spinz alt account.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...



Cubone posted:

anyway, here's my lie: I have never actually seen the movie austin powers. I just absorbed so much of it from cultural osmosis thatI never actually had to sit down and watch it to be able to talk about it or quote it

this would be my lie except instead of austin powers it's the video game final fantasy. you know, if I hadn't played it already

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

I mean I've never seen a movie whose title started with the letter "d"

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

an A+ poster (:

The OP is definitely not a virgin

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



Meme Poker Party posted:

I'm Spinz alt account.

Sex titty snake chicks are not white noise

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Due to tidal pull the earth is, very very slowly, pulling the moon closer and closer with each tide. In the far distant future, long after we've gone extinct, the earth will reabsorb its wayward child and be whole again.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

fuck the molice


QAnon? Yeah, that's Brian Quinn of TruTV's Impractical Jokers.

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

Beachside!


Black holes contain universes. Our own universe is inside a black hole which itself is in its own universe, which is inside a black hole, etc.

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

It's legal to open carry a handgun in Texas

quick edit : I googled it to be sure and they passed a bill within the last few days to allow literally any non felon to carry a handgun without any kind of license lmfaolmfaolmfao

PinheadSlim fucked around with this message at 05:08 on May 10, 2021

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

Beachside!


It's extremely easy to make EDM (Electronic Dance Music); anyone can do it, even a child.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012

Well, there goes our grant money.





You can make pancakes and waffles with the same batter, there is no difference.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015



I love you

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004



haven't poo poo my pants in years

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

yeah and I've certainly never poo poo my pants from being too drunk

no sir not even once

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

I work for the FBI and post in CSPAM to identify threats to national security, potential domestic terrorists, and to share goonlulz with my buddies in Quantico.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Counting to a million one by one rather than by 40000 at a time every two weeks totally doesn’t get on my nerves.

1redflag
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


“Everything happens for a reason”

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




im really not that into tuggin

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

Derpies posted:

im really not that into tuggin

this thread is for convincing lies not libelous fiction

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Just be yourself!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

My uncle is really quite tall

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


Grimey Drawer

My uncle works at Nintendo. That's how I know the ending to the FF7 remake.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

PinheadSlim posted:

this thread is for convincing lies not libelous fiction
do you mean this thread is for convincing lies, NOT libelous fiction?


or this thread is for convincing lies, NOT libelous fiction?



e: whoops, wrong account

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

The things you believe are true.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)


This is but one of my many hilarious posts.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

just to kind of lift the veil a bit

Cubone posted:

anyway, here's my lie: I have never actually seen the movie austin powers. I just absorbed so much of it from cultural osmosis thatI never actually had to sit down and watch it to be able to talk about it or quote it
this wasn't actually my lie, the first part of the post was the lie, the part about austin powers was completely true
see? the lie was that this was "my lie"

I'm not actually the kind of boring dope who would write a long-winded autobiographical pre-amble and then go "okay, now here's my fun actual participation"

in fact, I haven't made any posts in this thread where my assertions are not substantively more false than they are true

which, yes, includes this one. the entire point of the thread is to lie convincingly, why would I suddenly be telling the truth in this post?
this whole post is a lie

or is it

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.



when I j/o I shoot a normal sticky rope and not a noxious skunk-like spray

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




there aren't any funny three letter words

Pajser
Jan 28, 2006


its me Jeffrey the owner and this is my alt

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

Beachside!


A whole bunch of Lady Dimitrescu cutscenes were removed from Resident Evil Village after Capcom devs got freaked out at all the memes and fetishization of her earlier this year.

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Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

I'mma get laid this week






Laid off

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