I am getting a biopsy right now.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I am getting a biopsy right now.

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

The guy is wheeling me in to the room and they're going to shove a pipe in me and yank out a chunk of my right kidney.
It's going to be a fuckin wild ride.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 14:59

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 03:51

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Thanks I'm in the room now and they're doing poo poo. Guy asked me what kind of music I wanted to listen to. Bob Dylan is playing right now and that's fine with me. I like that poo poo. Was tempted to ask for some Wesley Willis but maybe I shouldn't be laughing while they do this

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 15:03

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Got me a blood pressure thingy on me and a heart rate other thing on my finger

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 15:04

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Xun posted:

What do the doctors think of your posting

I don't know. I don't think they are goons so they've probably never seen any. Just getting poked with a needle for some local anesthetic.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 15:07

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Ultrasound going on now so they can figure out how to miss some other organs that are near this fuckin bullshit kidney .

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 15:10

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Blood pressure thingy inflating.

Doctor said I should probably put the phone down in a minute or two. I'm on my side and poo poo about to get real as gently caress.

See y'all motherfucks on the other side!

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 15:13

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Dr had to stop and leave the room. Possibly to take a poo poo, or maybe they said something about he needs to look at my ultrasound or MRI results to see where to poke the fuckin pipe or needle or whatever the gently caress. I guess this tumor that they're trying to get at is in a bad spot.

Another Dr said a while back that both of my kidneys have " uncountable numbers". Of tumors andon them bitches. Had a biopsy last year on the other side and was not cancerous. poo poo Dr back gotta go

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 15:30

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Seth Pecksniff posted:

it's not good when the doctor says "uncountable number of tumors"

Yeah. Thus far they say it's not cancer but something called "oncocytoma" which is uhhhhhhh one of those medical conditions where things do stuff and some other stuff goes on and whatnot.

I'm out now. They had me tilt forward and then back and then forward again. It was weird it didn't hurt but feeling the tube or whatever the gently caress it was inside and moving around felt hosed up.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 16:09

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Is this blood pressure good?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 16:16

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Ambassadorofsodomy posted:

Is this blood pressure good?

gently caress. Edit not quote

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 16:17

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

GolfHole posted:

love to tilt

Yeah that was weird but whatever. Didn't happen last time but it was on the other side.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Just kidding OP I hope you�re doing well and able to post in the Friday thread, but maybe cut back on the piss-skulling for a bit and give those kidneys a rest.

Yeah, I probably will. Whenever I skull too much piss my kidneys hurt the next day. Among other things

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 16:20

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Wait, so they just stick a new one in there if I need a transplant? Doesn't sound like a good way to lose weight.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 16:35

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Last check was 138/76

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 16:59

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

That was about 15 minutes ago. The thing just automatically inflated again. 132/81 this time around.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 17:02

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

The Bramble posted:

What's the prognosis on your posting

poo poo

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 17:28

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

interwhat posted:

Wait doesn't onco- and -coma prefixes and suffix mean like cancer? Hope you don't have cancer op

Yo, I don't fuckin know, I'm not a scientologist.

The last time they just said "yo, that poo poo ain;t cancer bitch". Not in those exact words I think.

Bad Purchase posted:

does that say 116/68? yes, that's good.

the other numbers you said in the 130s are not good and will catch up to you as you age.

if you really want to reduce your risk of heart disease and other arterial diseases in old age, you should be shooting for a blood pressure in the 110s over ~70. not easy to do if you eat the average western diet though. my last blood pressure when i was eating a pretty strict vegan diet in my mid 30s was 117/69 (nice). can't remember my most recent number now that i also eat dairy and eggs, but it was up a little bit from that, like mid 120s which is still ok, but i would be cracking down on my eating habits pretty quick if it went any higher.

Yeah its been a few different numbers. When I first got there it was kinda high the nurse said. I asked her if it was because I might be nervous and she said that doesn't help. I have dr appointments every few months for various things and I always ask about my blood pressure beause thats pretty much the first thing they do when they get me in to the room and typically their answer is "its fine".

Certainly it could be better of course but for now I'll take their word for it.

Thanks for the well wishes goons :3:

wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Aug 10, 2022

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 20:11

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Colonel Cancer posted:

Friends who get prostate exams together,

Sodomize?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 22:11

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

drat! One more reason to get a costco membership.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 22:35

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

liek ur moms pusy

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 22:44

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Buce posted:

I wont settle for anything less than a triopsy.

If this was in the dinosaur times it could be a TRICERATOPSY!!

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 23:42

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Jabberlock posted:

hope they figure out why you make bad posts op

Hell yeah, that's my biggest concern.

Don't want forums cancer

# ¿ Aug 11, 2022 01:42

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Spinz posted:

How are you?
Are you ok

Still alive. Had the plague for a bit so possibly haven't been poo poo posting quite as much as usual.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2022 22:50

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Xun posted:

It's been awhile and I totally forgot about this thread

Did the biopsy kill you OP?

Yes, I done died, but because its now my ghost posting you can't ban me since its like still me who is posting, just from beyond the grave.

50s girl groupon posted:

Fingers crossed they can, uh, fix your hosed up organs fast.

Seriously though I saw biopsy and was like STOP GIVING GOONS CANCER TF at the universe I guess.
Did you throw up blood after? I had two lung biopsies and threw up blood immediately after them both times.
Keep us informed duderino. Thoughts and prayers seem to do poo poo-all but you�re in my thoughts and prayer anyways.

Thanks fellow goon, no coughing blood or anything like that. I probably pissed a bit after. I did hear them talking to some other people in the prep room who were getting lung biopsies done that they should not talk for a while (I forget how long they said) because that can cause an air pocket in the chest cavity or something like that. But I was pretty much complication free.

Thanks for your well wishes and I hope that your own struggles are getting easier/better :0

Toxic Mental posted:

It's kidneys stones from all that cum you been chuggin

Hmmmm, you make a good point. Can mods change my name to ambassadorofsodomyandkidneystonejizzchuggin'?

# ¿ Aug 22, 2022 01:04

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 03:51

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Huge Lady Pleaser posted:

Should have gone all the way and gotten the gayopsy, OP

Nah, I figured I'd leave it for someone who will appreciate the intricacies of a gayopsy more than I could.

Das Boo posted:

Did you get Blopsy yet, OP? Still think you should get a Blopsy.

What is that, like a blumpkin while getting a biopsy? I'd be down to try next time.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2022 01:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I am getting a biopsy right now.