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sudonim
Oct 6, 2005
Even at age 40 I feel strong, fast, have sharp senses, and have enough charisma that nobody believes me when I tell them I'm an introvert. Despite that:

I had really bad diverticulitis December 2021. So bad that I would have surely died painfully if not for antibiotics. Also had a fun segue into Covid which required antinausea medication to keep down food after said diverticulitis led me to losing 20 lbs.

I said sharp senses: I have really good peripheral vision and I can identify people on the slightest of details like hairstyle or even their gait but the twist is that I am nearsighted as gently caress. Without glasses I would have walked off a cliff years ago.

The worst of all is that my nose is perpetually stuffy. Thank gently caress for loratadine and flutocasone.

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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!
Fun Shoe
I can just go into a store and buy weed and its derivatives now, and it's nice to be able to use a safe and naturally anti-inflammatory substance for both mental and physical wellbeing.

I used to have to buy it in a parking lot from some dude.

Nooner posted:

I got a COVID vaccine

Also this. 4x

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
I got a COVID vaccine

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

I broke a femur. Up until very recently in human history, that was a death sentence. Now I have a wicked scar and sometimes my leg gets sore.

sudonim posted:

The worst of all is that my nose is perpetually stuffy. Thank gently caress for loratadine and flutocasone.

Flonase changed my life. For me, there is no product that works like magic more than Flonase.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
Beecham's Pills have dislodged my bile, stirred up my liver, cured my sick-headache, femaled my ailments, removed disease and promoted good health. Yes sir, Beecham's Pills. Famous the world over. Ask for Beecham's and take no others.

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.
Untreated Hodgkin's lymphoma doesn't have great survival rates.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

I'd still have congenital cataracts if not for better doctors that could tell it apart from my hosed up retinas as a cause for vision issues. If I really fuckin luck out they'll figure out some way to repair my retinas to restore my visual field to normal.

Also had a mesh put in to stop an inguinal hernia from turning into emergency bowel surgery. I don't know what people did back before that was an option but I doubt it was good

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer
Narcan and defibrillators.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


It's not the most dire example, I've had far worse, but years ago when I was working for a cratering company, I handled foods/linens/tables and what not. One day I developed a rash from something I'd come in contact with. That night I couldn't sleep and my legs where swollen and my arms were all rashed out, and my airways were closing. I couldn't drive and I had to wait for my mom to wake up to come and pick me up so I could go to the nearest hospital. I never found what caused it. I don't have allergies that I know of and it just went away. It's stupid on my part but they wanted me to lay a deuce in a plastic box, which I never did, and maybe that would of told me what was going on, but eh I couldn't poop.

But yes there are at least 3 times I've come close to death and the only thing that lets you fine people to continue to read my horrible posts is the miracle of modern medicine

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
probably never drat OP you just orange pilled me on Big Health or w/e I think

SAY YOHO
Oct 5, 2021
I got burned real bad on a hot engine working in the pit at jiffy lube while going to college. The blister burst so I wrapped it and carried on hanging out drinking. One night my arm really hurts, and I pull up my sleeve and notice a red line going up the inside of my arm up to my armpit. I correctly deduce this is not good, and since I had been drinking, and my dorm was like 20 from my parents house, I call them at midnight and am "I think I have to go to the hospital." They shot a big syringe of antibiotics, into my rear end cheek, and gave me pills. I really got to hand it to my manager, cause he did all the paperwork for workman's comp, and had my back. Blood poisoning is very bad, and I would like to extend a belated thanks to fleming.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.


I used to spend a couple of weeks in a hospital oxygen tent every autumn due to asthma as a kid. Nowadays I still have a nebulizer for the rogue attack that seems to happen once a year, so that's good.

Also in the "glasses save my rear end" camp. I got one near-sighted eye, one far-sighted eye, and astigmatism in both. I am functionally disabled without my corrected vision and were I to live in any other time period, I'd be a weird invalid who'd probably have died in childbirth due to my wonk uterus.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
The number of times I would have been dead if not for antibiotics is large. Such mundane reasons to die.

Also modern medicine saved my testicles from hanging themselves, so thatís a win.

Leper Go-getter
Nov 7, 2010
I got antibiotics for inflamed lungs once. And that fixed it but wow antibiotix makes me cranky as hell but like it was hilarious, to me anyway. I did not interact with alotta people but if I did I'd have been straight up mean. And I just know they'd get all insulted but I was illing though like c'mon.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

Leper Go-getter posted:

I got antibiotics for inflamed lungs once. And that fixed it but wow antibiotix makes me cranky as hell but like it was hilarious, to me anyway. I did not interact with alotta people but if I did I'd have been straight up mean. And I just know they'd get all insulted but I was illing though like c'mon.

are you sure they didn't give you amphetamine

Nuebot
Feb 18, 2013

The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money
I have medication that stops me from having seizures that would probably kill me. It, in turn, makes my body eat my bones so I have to take another pill for that pill that makes my bones bonier so I don't shatter them when I sneeze. I can't eat when I take it, or lay down, or do much of anything for like an hour or I run the risk of it burning a hole through my throat apparently. Cool drugs. I haven't broken a bone since I stared taking the bone pill though.

N. Senada
May 17, 2011

"Oh, you're tapped out? Tap three, play Darksteel Plate. Tap two, equip it to Platinum Angel."

"Is that it?"

"No. I play Trickster God's Heist and give it to you in exchange for that token."
A kindly man severed my vas and prevented me from ruining my good times

EoinCannon
Aug 29, 2008

Grimey Drawer
I had super tonsilitis and by the time I got to the emergency room my throat was swollen to the point where I could barely swallow and was starting to have trouble breathing. Massive shot of steroids and antibiotics sorted it out, then they jammed a big needle down my throat the next day and drained a shitload of pus out of the abscess.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 6, 2010

sudonim posted:

Even at age 40 I feel strong, fast, have sharp senses, and have enough charisma that nobody believes me when I tell them I'm an introvert. Despite that:

I had really bad diverticulitis December 2021. So bad that I would have surely died painfully if not for antibiotics. Also had a fun segue into Covid which required antinausea medication to keep down food after said diverticulitis led me to losing 20 lbs.

I said sharp senses: I have really good peripheral vision and I can identify people on the slightest of details like hairstyle or even their gait but the twist is that I am nearsighted as gently caress. Without glasses I would have walked off a cliff years ago.

The worst of all is that my nose is perpetually stuffy. Thank gently caress for loratadine and flutocasone.

Sounds like you got a bum unit, pallie

oh dope
Nov 2, 2006

No guilt, it feeds in plain sight
Few years ago I had a saddle pulmonary embolism. Didn't know that going into the ER though, just that it hurt to breathe and I could barely walk without passing out.

To fix me, they put these sheaths into one of my femoral arteries and another through some vein in my leg and then snaked stents through the sheaths up towards my lungs. They put the stents right near the pulmonary arteries, and the stents released a medicine that broke up the clot. I felt 100% better when I woke up.

Of course, the nurse hosed up taking out the sheaths and I bled uncontrollably for I don't know how long. It was 2 AM, and I was hosed on dilaudid. Since I was now on anticoagulants, the bleeding took forever to stop, and by the time it was done, my scrotum was swollen to size of a softball, rock hard, and it was excruciating. It was at least a month till it was back to normal.

I digress. Anyway, they did a scan of my big body and discovered that, holy poo poo, my legs are full of clots. Found out later I have a genetic predisposition for blood clots. So they wheel me back into the OR and through a completely different artery, by my neck, the put in a filter in my inferior vena cava to catch any other clots that might kill me. A year later they took it out. I asked if I could have it, they said sure.

Booty Pageant
Apr 20, 2012
man those heart burn tablets come in clutch after stuffing my face full of greasy burgers and ribs

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

Nuebot posted:

I have medication that stops me from having seizures that would probably kill me. It, in turn, makes my body eat my bones so I have to take another pill for that pill that makes my bones bonier so I don't shatter them when I sneeze. I can't eat when I take it, or lay down, or do much of anything for like an hour or I run the risk of it burning a hole through my throat apparently. Cool drugs. I haven't broken a bone since I stared taking the bone pill though.

jeez i take epilepsy pills and all they do is make it hard to keep a boner up sometimes, i had no idea there were ones that gave you fatal boneitis

NoiseAnnoys
May 17, 2010
My magnificent tufts of plumage dazzle the eyes of predators and advertise to various potential mates that I am getting enough nutrients and growing big and strong.

Nuebot
Feb 18, 2013

The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Caesar Saladin posted:

jeez i take epilepsy pills and all they do is make it hard to keep a boner up sometimes, i had no idea there were ones that gave you fatal boneitis

I only got on these because the regular antiepileptics didn't work very well and were making my life miserable with the side effects. I don't think the boneitis is fatal though, just really painful. Especially since the doctor forgot to mention it at all, and so like after a decade of taking this poo poo suddenly I started cracking ribs every time I'd do something even slightly physically taxing, and more than once I woke myself up by rolling over and fracturing my wrist. Downside; very painful and my ribs look like some kind of cartoonish video game monster now for how misaligned they are. Upside; fragile bird bones heal almost as fast as they shatter. Then one day the doctor was like "Oh, huh. We should probably get you a bone density scan" And so we did. And I had the skeletal structure of an 80 year old before I was 30. Haven't had any seizures since getting on this stuff though!

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

I had kidney stones in 2022 that were so painful I couldn't sleep and kept vomiting from the pain. They took a scan and told me the stones were probably too big to pass, at the very least I'd be in incredible pain when they finally shot out of me. They ended up putting a little laser up my urethra and blasting them all to bits a few days later.

Nooner posted:

I got a COVID vaccine

And this.

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

Nooner posted:

I got a COVID vaccine

same. my N95 does most of the work, but I'm happy to have the vaccine on board as a second-stringer

blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER RHINO


Nap Ghost
I have high blood pressure, and am on meds for it. One day I noticed it was lower than normal, and forgot about it. That weekend I passed out and hit my head on a toilet bowl. Kind of ignored that, too.

Went to work, and everything got blurry and I had to lay down. 911 was called. Turns out my blood pressure was like 60/40, caused by internal bleeding over the last week, week and a half. I had black poo, but didn't really pay attention. Always pay attention to your poo! Tarry, black stools means internal bleeding.

Also, caused by alcoholism and and abundance of head powders.

Anyway, they gave me 4 units of blood over like 3 days, and I probably would of died if someone hadn't walked by my office.

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

ENERGY FUCKING PILLS
my goony rear end was saved by getting cured of goonyism, now it's just a regular rear end

Solenna
Jun 5, 2003

I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had a condition known as complete placental previa, which meant the placenta completely covered the cervix. In other words the sac of blood vessels that is supposed to come out in one piece after baby is born was 100% in the way of baby getting born and would tear itself apart if I want into labour. I looked up mortality rates and if left untreated it's something like 50% maternal mortality and 95% fetal mortality.

So I had a c-section 6 weeks early and she had a 2 week NICU stay and caffeine drops to help with figuring out how to breathe regularly. She is now 6 and currently playing the Switch.

The Hello Machine
Jul 18, 2021

I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.
My ears fill up with wax and so if not for the plastic squeezy bottle I would have gone deaf 10 years ago

sudonim
Oct 6, 2005

Solenna posted:

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had a condition known as complete placental previa, which meant the placenta completely covered the cervix. In other words the sac of blood vessels that is supposed to come out in one piece after baby is born was 100% in the way of baby getting born and would tear itself apart if I want into labour. I looked up mortality rates and if left untreated it's something like 50% maternal mortality and 95% fetal mortality.

So I had a c-section 6 weeks early and she had a 2 week NICU stay and caffeine drops to help with figuring out how to breathe regularly. She is now 6 and currently playing the Switch.
Holy poo poo!

C sections are such a game changer. Been around forever but modern techniques make them clean and safe. Unfortunately there's a contingent of gatekeepers that go on about how not having a vaginal birth means you're "not a real mom" but gently caress 'em.

My own C-section kid likes Kirby and the Forgotten Land

Piss Creep
Dec 16, 2022
Often and normally, like dentist, antisads. or prostate exam

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

ENERGY FUCKING PILLS

Piss Creep posted:

Often and normally, like dentist, antisads. or prostate exam

hopefully that last one not done by your dentist!!!

Piss Creep
Dec 16, 2022

Toxic Mental posted:

hopefully that last one not done by your dentist!!!

Hes like 60 so could have class changed

Dystopia Barbarian
Dec 25, 2022

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.
Penicillin is pretty clutch.

But for me in particular, I'm prone to kidney stones and without modern medicine I'd have to just push those bastards whole through my urethra, which sounds unpleasant to say the least.

Piss Creep
Dec 16, 2022

Dystopia Barbarian posted:

Penicillin is pretty clutch.

But for me in particular, I'm prone to kidney stones and without modern medicine I'd have to just push those bastards whole through my urethra, which sounds unpleasant to say the least.

I'm allergic to Penicillin, and its never been a problem. Except when I found out I guess.

Piss Creep fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Jan 30, 2023

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

Stay Out of the Basement
mood stabilizers and antipsychotics make me feel like i'm not a person but they also stop me from doing bad things so it's impossible to say whether they're good or not

Piss Creep
Dec 16, 2022

R.L. Stine posted:

mood stabilizers and antipsychotics make me feel like i'm not a person but they also stop me from doing bad things so it's impossible to say whether they're good or not

I dont think drugs generally have your past times in their best interests

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009

going to have to go wit h modern vaccination regimes

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Piss Creep
Dec 16, 2022
I was honestly sad COVID vaccination wasn't some jingoistic thing but for good

I kinda wanted to feel some social pride coming out of getting it and people were clapping and i joined them and it went into the night

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