CLICK SOME FUCKING COOKIES

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > CLICK SOME FUCKING COOKIES

Desfore: Jun 8, 2011; Confirmed at least one furry on the Smash team

Megaman posted:

So I just started the game a little while ago, and I don't seem to be going all that fast. I have 2 billion cookies and about 1 million cps. Is there a trick I'm missing?

after you make a couple time machines it speeds up for a while. Then slows way the gently caress down.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 07:54

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# ? Jun 13, 2024 16:03

Musluk: May 23, 2011

Welp, the last 20 grandmas and time machines will take me around 20 days with no golden cookie clicks. Since the dungeons will probably hit earlier than that, guess I'm done till they're in.

Edit: The 100 time machines cheevo is from 1.026, the first implementation of milk. The numbers went a wee bit crazy with around 10b cps.

Musluk fucked around with this message at 08:58 on Sep 3, 2013

# ? Sep 3, 2013 08:45

Brother Jonathan: Jun 23, 2008

The latest Nerd� video features Cookie Clicker. I think that it describes the experience rather well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIeqMotAHxk

# ? Sep 3, 2013 08:58

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Segmentation Fault posted:

I'm working on a Cookie Clicker playlist. Suggest cookie-related songs (or songs that would just fit the atmosphere) for me to add!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkIZm64H6xk

# ? Sep 3, 2013 09:26

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

# ? Sep 3, 2013 09:56

Redchaostry: Nov 27, 2008

Musluk posted:

Welp, the last 20 grandmas and time machines will take me around 20 days with no golden cookie clicks. Since the dungeons will probably hit earlier than that, guess I'm done till they're in.

Edit: The 100 time machines cheevo is from 1.026, the first implementation of milk. The numbers went a wee bit crazy with around 10b cps.

What do you have to do to unlock the last clicker upgrade? Only one I am missing. And what is the last achievement after Elder Slumber?

# ? Sep 3, 2013 10:21

bawk: Mar 31, 2013

Redchaostry posted:

What do you have to do to unlock the last clicker upgrade? Only one I am missing. And what is the last achievement after Elder Slumber?

Offer 5 pledges total. There's also the shadow achievements that will appear after those two, but they're all optional.

I think I'm gonna kick this guy a few bucks when I get home, half because I feel like I've played enough of this drat game to warrant paying a few dollars for it, and the other half because I want to see if its true that the Cookie Goddess only comes to those who have paid their tithe :unsmigghh:

# ? Sep 3, 2013 10:24

Musluk: May 23, 2011

Redchaostry posted:

What do you have to do to unlock the last clicker upgrade? Only one I am missing. And what is the last achievement after Elder Slumber?

Mouse gains 1% cps upgrades? I believe you need to click the cookie for x amounts. I've unlocked them on an elder frenzy, I think. Last achievement is for turning on the elder covenant. Turn it on, then off, there's no need to have covenant on at all.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 10:25

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

The cursor layout is getting worse and worse, is the Goddess punishing us for releasing the Elderly Horrors from their bingo prison?

# ? Sep 3, 2013 12:21

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

The cookies, they speak to me. They demand sacrifice, they demand penance. The only way to appease the cookies is more cookies, which must then be appeased. ALL WILL BE COOKIE.

This game got real weird real fast.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 12:35

Tea Bone: Feb 18, 2011; I'm going for gasps.

What are you guys doing to get the chains? I'm at ~ 400 million CPS and still yet to get one.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 13:26

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Help, I was meant to go into work today but called in sick to play cookie clicker, I don't know what to do help me

# ? Sep 3, 2013 13:49

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

Achievement unlocked: You can stop now.

NO I CAN'T COOKIE CLICKER I CAN NEVER STOP YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

"You could have stopped it," grandma said to me. No grandma...you don't understand...you don't...how can you understand? You are merely a cog in the machine. You can't comprehend this machine, this glorious, beautiful machine! I MUST HAVE BETTER GRANDMAS.

ToxicSlurpee fucked around with this message at 13:58 on Sep 3, 2013

# ? Sep 3, 2013 13:56

RennZero: Oct 10, 2007; "Get in."

Segmentation Fault posted:

I'm working on a Cookie Clicker playlist. Suggest cookie-related songs (or songs that would just fit the atmosphere) for me to add!

I think this one is an obvious choice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8mB6VsUHw

# ? Sep 3, 2013 13:57

Dizz: Feb 14, 2010; L L

gently caress this game.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 13:57

Oenis: Mar 15, 2012

Tea Bone posted:

What are you guys doing to get the chains? I'm at ~ 400 million CPS and still yet to get one.

from http://cookieclicker.wikia.com/wiki/Cheating

This will enable a countdown in the title bar, indicating when the next golden cookie will spawn, so you don't have to have that tab open all the time. I don't really consider it cheating. Anyways, open your browser's console (ctrl+shift+J on chrome and just copy and paste the code below). Golden (or the red Elder) Cookies can have several effects, from increasing your Cps or granting additional Cookies, among others. Once in a while they'll start a Golden Cookie chain, where Cookies will spawn back to back, granting 6, 66, 666... and so on Cookies every click, up to 6 trillion I think.

quote:

Show Golden Cookie delay in Title bar

code:

setInterval(function() {
	document.title='(' + Math.floor(Game.goldenCookie.delay / Game.fps) + ' s) '+Beautify(Game.cookies)+' '+(Game.cookies==1?'cookie':'cookies');
}, Math.floor(500/Game.fps));

I'm up to the last 2 achievements, 200 cursors and 100 time machines. I wonder what my life will feel like after that, since I feel like I'm nearing the end of the road. Thankfully the last 20 time machines will take a while, but I do hope Dungeons come out soon and will provide another endgame. Otherwise I might have to reset and get the neverclick achievements.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 14:07

junan_paalla: Dec 29, 2009; Seriously, do drugs

Okay, I finally bought elder covenant, marking 100% upgrades and achievements.
What now, game? What now?

# ? Sep 3, 2013 14:12

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Oenis posted:

I'm up to the last 2 achievements, 200 cursors and 100 time machines. I wonder what my life will feel like after that, since I feel like I'm nearing the end of the road. Thankfully the last 20 time machines will take a while, but I do hope Dungeons come out soon and will provide another endgame. Otherwise I might have to reset and get the neverclick achievements.

This is about where I'm at too. I have 172 cursors, 150 grandmas, and 64 time machines. I also need the Eclipse and Zebra cookies, but apart from that I have pretty much everything. I hope dungeons will last a long time as an endgame and maybe provide an alternate way to fight back grandmatriarchs without sacrificing CpS.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 14:13

dat one portagee: Dec 6, 2006; WAT DOIN BUG?

How does the uncanny clicker achievement trigger? I can register like 10-12 clicks per second on my mouse and it doesn't pop up... how loving fast do you have to click to make that poo poo happen?

# ? Sep 3, 2013 15:43

HenryEx: Mar 25, 2009; ...your cybernetic implants, the only beauty in that meat you call "a body"...; Grimey Drawer

It's a joke achievement. It's not supposed to be gotten. Doesn't count for milk, either. It doesn't say "world record" for nothing.

You'd have to click about 25 times per second to get it, i think.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:05

Tea Bone: Feb 18, 2011; I'm going for gasps.

HenryEx posted:

It's a joke achievement. It's not supposed to be gotten. Doesn't count for milk, either. It doesn't say "world record" for nothing.

You'd have to click about 25 times per second to get it, i think.

I've got it but I have no idea how. I can only assume the game froze up and all my clicks during that time got counted the second it unfroze.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:21

Slickdrac: Oct 5, 2007; Not allowed to have nice things

dat one portagee posted:

How does the uncanny clicker achievement trigger? I can register like 10-12 clicks per second on my mouse and it doesn't pop up... how loving fast do you have to click to make that poo poo happen?

twice within 4 milliseconds

Tea Bone posted:

I've got it but I have no idea how. I can only assume the game froze up and all my clicks during that time got counted the second it unfroze.

Basically this or an autoclicker.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:27

D34THROW: Jan 29, 2012; RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL

Oenis posted:

from http://cookieclicker.wikia.com/wiki/Cheating

This will enable a countdown in the title bar, indicating when the next golden cookie will spawn, so you don't have to have that tab open all the time. I don't really consider it cheating. Anyways, open your browser's console (ctrl+shift+J on chrome and just copy and paste the code below). Golden (or the red Elder) Cookies can have several effects, from increasing your Cps or granting additional Cookies, among others. Once in a while they'll start a Golden Cookie chain, where Cookies will spawn back to back, granting 6, 66, 666... and so on Cookies every click, up to 6 trillion I think.

for this. I spend more time tabbed out than tabbed in, so this little boost is nice. I also don't see it as cheating, because I imagine most don't tab back in every 30 seconds to see if there's a golden cookie.

...I've been spending the last two days watching a number in a tab title rise and making it rise faster...the gently caress is wrong with me.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:30

dat one portagee: Dec 6, 2006; WAT DOIN BUG?

Ah ok. I thought it might actually be possible since it seemed like a lot of people were saying they had it...

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:31

McDragon: Sep 11, 2007

Apparently when it was first introduced it kept bugging out and just giving it to people. I assume that's how I ended up with it.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:33

Svartvit: Jun 18, 2005; al-Qabila samaa Bahth

dat one portagee posted:

Ah ok. I thought it might actually be possible since it seemed like a lot of people were saying they had it...

I think most people got it back when it was easier for some reason.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 16:34

Musluk: May 23, 2011

D34THROW posted:

I imagine most don't tab back in every 30 seconds to see if there's a golden cookie.

You don't know the levels of :spergin:

some people can reach. Especially 4chan's /vg/.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 17:41

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

How come the grandmas jiggle?

# ? Sep 3, 2013 17:46

K. Farb: Aug 6, 2009; I'd give you a ride, but I got Karl Farbman here.

Tornado Lazers posted:

How come the grandmas jiggle?

"moist cookies"

# ? Sep 3, 2013 17:52

Xelkelvos: Dec 19, 2012

Musluk posted:

You don't know the levels of some people can reach. Especially 4chan's /vg/.

Seriously. If you have not visited their CookieClicker thread, do so now. I believe the current spreadsheet for purchase optimization originated from there among other tips and tools

Tip I learned from that thread: Selling all of your Grandmas can undo the Grandmapocalypse.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 18:07

Musluk: May 23, 2011

Xelkelvos posted:

Seriously. If you have not visited their CookieClicker thread, do so now. I believe the current spreadsheet for purchase optimization originated from there among other tips and tools

Tip I learned from that thread: Selling all of your Grandmas can undo the Grandmapocalypse.

The spreadsheet originated there, yeah. The newest version of the spreadsheet can even import your stats from your save.

Also, Orteil posts stuff about the game on his tumblr, which is also linked on the game page itself - was the source of grandmapocalypse removal.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 18:17

Brother Jonathan: Jun 23, 2008

Musluk posted:

Also, Orteil posts stuff about the game on his tumblr, which is also linked on the game page itself - was the source of grandmapocalypse removal.

From Orteil's Tumblr:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Sep 3, 2013 18:28

Wrist Watch: Apr 19, 2011; What?

I hit F5 by accident thinking focus was on my other window and now I can't get back to my cookies. I'm getting errors no matter how much I refresh

And yes, I tried shift+F5 and no dice that way either. My cookies...

# ? Sep 3, 2013 19:15

CJacobs: Apr 17, 2011; Reach for the moon!

No, it's fine, CloudFlare. Thanks for the 520 connection error, really. I didn't want to play Cookie Clicker anyway. :negative:

# ? Sep 3, 2013 19:15

Tea Bone: Feb 18, 2011; I'm going for gasps.

Do you make a loss when you sell stuff?

I was thinking about selling everything to get the last 30 time machines then buying it all back later, is this a bad idea?

# ? Sep 3, 2013 19:34

Sage Grimm: Feb 18, 2013; Let's go explorin' little dude!

Tea Bone posted:

Do you make a loss when you sell stuff?

I was thinking about selling everything to get the last 30 time machines then buying it all back later, is this a bad idea?

You only return 51% of the cost per building when you sell, unfortunately. It's going to kill your Cps if you do that though! Don't do it!

# ? Sep 3, 2013 19:38

Slickdrac: Oct 5, 2007; Not allowed to have nice things

Tea Bone posted:

Do you make a loss when you sell stuff?

I was thinking about selling everything to get the last 30 time machines then buying it all back later, is this a bad idea?

You get only 65% back of it's cost.

# ? Sep 3, 2013 19:38