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They should have made the Hurricane be called Hurricane Laura Moser just for shits and giggles. Also I'm going to upload these videos of this dude killing people and not have have to worry about my IP being tracked 
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Sep 16, 2013 07:32
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IGN gave it a 6.8 which I guess is actually pretty bad? But still,quote:No, "Monkey in a Box," wasn't outright terrible, but it also wasn't close to anything I wanted from the penultimate series episode of Dexter. Way too much of this season has dealt with, and focused on, characters who've only just been introduced to us instead doing something great and vital with the characters it already has. I'll admit to this. I really liked the huge corner Dexter turned in the end. Finally, he rid himself of his "Dark Passenger." And he didn't even pull one of those "I don't need to kill you, but I'm going to kill you anyway" deals. He actually decided to turn Saxon over to the police, choosing Hannah (at the eleventh hour, of course) over his desire to stab someone. A human being wrote this.
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Sep 16, 2013 07:32
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Steinuh posted:They should have made the Hurricane be called Hurricane Laura Moser just for shits and giggles. Also I'm going to upload these videos of this dude killing people and not have have to worry about my IP being tracked ::<:
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Sep 16, 2013 07:33
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^^^ If you don't say your name, it's totally anonymous! Isn't the internet great? Does someone at IGN also write for Dexter, or what?
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Sep 16, 2013 07:34
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sportsgenius86 posted:I watched Breaking Bad and then this and it was like eating filet mignon and then having someone literally shove poo poo into my mouth. That's why you eat the poo poo sandwich first to get it over with.
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Sep 16, 2013 07:42
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So I don't know about the rest of you but the guy in the background wildly gesticulating while Dex was talking with Quinn at Batista Bar was unironically the best part of the episode (beating even Saxon's gas-pump look-lean) and I would offer my firstborn if someone would make a gif of that. Pretty much this is the most giffable episode of Dexter episode, which is the only praise you can give it.
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Sep 16, 2013 07:43
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I wish Lumen were here. She would know what to do.
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Sep 16, 2013 07:45
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:Yeah, what? He made it seem like he was gonna do that anonymously, yet he was doing it from his laptop. If he was doing it anonymously, I feel like we would've heard an inner monologue about it.   You have to appreciate the over the top camera movement in that scene. suztan posted:So I don't know about the rest of you but the guy in the background wildly gesticulating while Dex was talking with Quinn at Batista Bar was unironically the best part of the episode (beating even Saxon's gas-pump look-lean) and I would offer my firstborn if someone would make a gif of that. 
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Sep 16, 2013 07:46
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suztan posted:So I don't know about the rest of you but the guy in the background wildly gesticulating while Dex was talking with Quinn at Batista Bar was unironically the best part of the episode (beating even Saxon's gas-pump look-lean) and I would offer my firstborn if someone would make a gif of that. That guy will probably end up being the real big bad this season.
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Sep 16, 2013 07:52
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 Edit: gently caress this show.
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Sep 16, 2013 08:20
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Wet Biscuit McGlee posted:And what the hell is with bringing Miguel's wife back out of nowhere? Honestly that hot piece of rear end was the only good reason to watch this episode. I mean, besides the tubgirl animated gif above.
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Sep 16, 2013 08:39
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Wow, Dexter went full Doctor Evil. On a guy that knows all about him with a history of escaping. The one silver lining was Quinn with the wedding ring.
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Sep 16, 2013 08:40
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There's nothing I enjoy more than not watching Dexter but still coming to this thread to read reactions 
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Sep 16, 2013 08:44
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Social Animal posted:Honestly that hot piece of rear end was the only good reason to watch this episode. Speaking of hot pieces, I miss the
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Sep 16, 2013 08:46
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I have to try to itemise this poo poo for my own sanity. From the beginning: - Dex rushes to Deb's house and they bond over their shared grief for a woman nobody actually cared about. "I know how much she meant to you." Since loving when? - Hannah shows Dex their travel plans and he says, "And no-one can trace us". Why would anyone be trying Dexter? You've handed in notice and told the Captain of Miami Homicide you're going there already. Everyone thinks you're a normal guy, so why even bother trying to hide your tracks? I think this must be a legacy line from a version of the script when things were actually happening, like plot progression and tension. - Who's this real estate lady we're supposed to know? Oh poo poo, it's Miguel Prado's wife! Wow, I care so much because ummm, gimme a second here. - Dex tries to sell his boat. "I kinda hoped it'd have a bigger beer cooler"  RIVETING TELEVISION!- Masuka's "I could go with some hookers and some blow right about now". A - "Hello Dexter Morgan" was one of the most chilling lines in the show's history. Walmart home brand Ryan Gosling is not John Lithgow. - DNA swab almost sorta gave us a bit of a decent plot moment there, linking psycho son to Ikea Monkey. Credit where it's due. I wonder how long until they gently caress it up? - An abandoned building in Miami with the power still on and it's not filled with homeless people and drug addicts? Also swinging bag. Also, wheelchair outlined against dusty rays of ghostly light! Where's my shot in front of a slowly rotating ventilation fan? - Those glass cabinets in the kill room. The ones with interior lights. Yeah, I want those in my bathroom. First time I've been interested in what was on the screen all night. - Oh, hey look, it's the Deputy Marshall hunting Hannah. Remember him? Boy, you could cut the tension with a knife. He's hot on Hannah's heels! Sure is lucky he didn't go to Deb's house again and look in any of those open windows or anything. Or that the hospital emergency room didn't have security cameras. - Oh, they're actually showing Ikea Monkey's funeral. I was wrong - there are actually two interesting characters left on this show:  - Yet another 20 seconds of Masuka Dad and his wacky daughter. drat, now I've stopped caring about him because this plotline is going nowhere. Unless she skins him and axe murders half of Miami Metro in the next (final) episode, what oh god what was the point of having her on beyond that one time we got to see her tits? Oh god, the show's only half over. Super Nintendo Matthews, I'm going to take you up on that offer of a drink. Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 11:58 on Sep 16, 2013 |
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Sep 16, 2013 09:08
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Hey guys, remember when Deb was shot in the stomach already in the exact spot but on the other side, and it wasn't a big deal at all? gently caress this show. Everything's convenience. The Marshall doesn't check the hospital IF IT HAS CAMERAS  he also doesn't see the news, like at all about Saxon? And apparently Saxon getting arrested would be one hell of a problem for Dexter. Like does he not think at all?"My boat has GPS." So you mean they could see how many drat times you've gone to ONLY one spot and it was where the BHB dumped his bodies?? Hmmm. And onto my earlier post about Dexter not realizing consequences of HIS actions and how it messes with other people, specifically his family (kudos for the writers for remembering what happened to Rita and Dex to look remotely annoyed of the mention of her) look at the first 10 minutes of BB episode. Seriously. It's GODDAMN amazing. Dexter is Tim Buckley moved past it and healed.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:12
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Was there ever any real explanation given as to why Dexter is so ~in love~ with blonde bitch #17? I mean Jesus Christ they went as far as to say that his love for her is basically "curing" him of the desire to kill this episode, but it seems like there's been no justification for him to feel so close to her MUCH LESS have his love for her displace his impulse to kill. I seem to recall some voiceovers talking about how she "understands him" or w/e but loving WHY. I know that people complain about Lila from season 2 but at least her connection to Dexter was fleshed out with reasons beyond "she has a nice rear end." Also: did I miss something or did the idea that Dexter might not want to kill people anymore just come way the gently caress out of left field this ep?
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Sep 16, 2013 09:16
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Gorilla Salad posted:Oh, they're actually showing Ikea Monkey's funeral. I was wrong - there are actually two interesting characters left on this show: Hey man, Batista wore his mourning fedora. Also "Hey lets turn this funeral INTO A PAAAAARTAAAAAAY"
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Sep 16, 2013 09:16
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suztan posted:So I don't know about the rest of you but the guy in the background wildly gesticulating while Dex was talking with Quinn at Batista Bar was unironically the best part of the episode (beating even Saxon's gas-pump look-lean) and I would offer my firstborn if someone would make a gif of that. Ahahaha this was all I could focus on in that scene. What the gently caress was that guy doing. What the gently caress is this show doing, this all has to be ironic right
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Sep 16, 2013 09:19
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Gorilla Salad posted:I have to try to itemise this poo poo for my own sanity. From the beginning: Masuka's "hookers and blow" line might be the laziest bit of writing in Dexter history and that's saying A LOT. I literally cringed.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:20
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Tom Toddlesworth posted:Was there ever any real explanation given as to why Dexter is so ~in love~ with blonde bitch #17? I mean Jesus Christ they went as far as to say that his love for her is basically "curing" him of the desire to kill this episode, but it seems like there's been no justification for him to feel so close to her MUCH LESS have his love for her displace his impulse to kill. I seem to recall some voiceovers talking about how she "understands him" or w/e but loving WHY. I know that people complain about Lila from season 2 but at least her connection to Dexter was fleshed out with reasons beyond "she has a nice rear end." Also: did I miss something or did the idea that Dexter might not want to kill people anymore just come way the gently caress out of left field this ep? Because love. Why love? Because she accept the "whole Dexter". What does that mean? It means she doesn't care about Dexter killing people one way or the other except for that one time she rolled her eyes at the "Dark Passenger" stuff. Which is what love is. True Love in "Dexter" is not caring at all about another person or their issues except for that time you roll your eyes and say "Dark Whatever". Deep Thoughts.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:23
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It's because Hannah is finally someone Dexter can be himself with.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:26
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squarerandom posted:Hey guys, remember when Deb was shot in the stomach already in the exact spot but on the other side, and it wasn't a big deal at all? gently caress this show. Everything's convenience.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:27
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deafmute posted:He used the TV station's own secure web submission form AND signed it Concerned Citizen what else do you want Of all the dumb poo poo in this episode this is what you people are complaining about? TV shows are always unrealistic with computers and honestly this isn't even impossible, just assume he was using TOR or something. This is the guy who kidnaps people off the sidewalk and commits murder in airports, I don't think I'm gonna care if he submits a web form anonymously.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:37
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Speaking of, Dexter dumping Vogels files in the computer trash bin wouldn't solve much. Those files are still recovarable on a hard drive as long as they're aren't replaced with other data. I've done it myself with cheap user friendly software whenever i regretted deleting anything. He should have just taken the computer and smashed it, or download some huge file to fill up the hard drive. I know, this is overthinking it when it comes to Dexter, Miami Metro wouldn't know what to do with it anyways.
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Sep 16, 2013 09:59
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I hate Dexter so much more after having just finished watching the most recent (excellent) Breaking Bad ep.
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Sep 16, 2013 10:04
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Falukorv posted:Speaking of, Dexter dumping Vogels files in the computer trash bin wouldn't solve much. Those files are still recovarable on a hard drive as long as they're aren't replaced with other data. I've done it myself with cheap user friendly software whenever i regretted deleting anything. Not to defend this shitstorm of a season but he specifically chose "Secure Delete" or something like that. Usually that means it deletes the files than writes random information over it.
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Sep 16, 2013 10:07
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This is some of the worst TV I have ever seen. Show sucks, etc.
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Sep 16, 2013 10:34
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Dexter himself actually summed up the entire season (and the last few as well) in this episode. "I don't really want to be here." I don't think MCH was acting when he said that line.
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Sep 16, 2013 10:39
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Guys I'm confused. I watched Breaking Bad after this show and how come I know what Walt is thinking without him doing a voice over telling me so?
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Sep 16, 2013 10:55
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xtvsiB7MZQ Wow. The scene where she gets shot looks like an 80's movie. Also note her "acting" when she calls the police.
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Sep 16, 2013 11:21
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AstroWhale posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xtvsiB7MZQ Holy poo poo, I haven't seen Dexter since season 5 and I swear to god that clip could have passed off for something from 70s blaxploitation
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Sep 16, 2013 11:23
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Parity warning posted:Ahahaha this was all I could focus on in that scene. What the gently caress was that guy doing. What the gently caress is this show doing, this all has to be ironic right Everyone in Miami is a ~psychopath~ which is why nobody behaves like a normal human being. As Dexter recovers from the trauma of his mother's death, the bizarre behavior of everyone around him becomes more & more apparent. This is actually incredibly clever & meta writing.
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Sep 16, 2013 11:41
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I can't believe how hard the second half of this show was to get through. Who would have thought bland could be so painful. I got to the part where Dex and Deb walked off on Saxon, looked over and saw there were only 5 minutes left and I was almost unable to bring myself to watch that last, stupid part. This is the second wall of text I've posted tonight and I'm sorry, but it's the only thing that got me through this episode. "It's cathartic" - Dex and Quair had a little heart to heart. It's so important to get the blessing of a man you once thought was a serial killer and very likely murdered the PI you had investigating him. - Angel. Dammit man, you're the only good person on this show. - Oh hey there Not Ryan Gosling. "Let's walk away from each other." Wait, that's actually sensible. Dexter, "I missed the point" Yes. Yes you did. So did the writers and everyone else involved in this show for the last few years. - poo poo, even Not Ryan Gosling knows Dexter is dating Hannah. What is that US Marshall doing all day? - "You already had one wife murdered. That must be an interesting story." YES IT WAS. You're just rubbing our noses in it now, aren't you. - Oh hey there Marshall. Why are you talking to this creep? Is there some law against going to Deb's house and just looking through the windows? - Elway, a sleaze to the very end. Pity he didn't hang around a few minutes to watch Deb drive Hannah to a hotel. - Deb thinks Dex should leave Not Ryan Gosling alone and be with Hannah. Pity about that whole threatening Deb and the step kids thing. No, I'm sure the guy who cuts peoples' heads open and removes parts of their brains will leave them all alone. If you can't trust a crazy murderer to keep his word, then what is the world coming to? - Will someone keep Dexter away from computers, please? Remember what I just said about him threatening to kill Deb and the step kids? So piss him off as publicly as possible. What could go wrong? Why don't we ask Rita? - Deb steps up and has a moment with her brother while waiting for Saxon. Almost touching. I just can't get the incest plotline out of my head though. - Look at all these cops searching Deb's house. Welp, hope you weren't set on that career as a cop again. Pretty sure a US Marshall suspecting you of hiding a serial killer counts as a black mark on your record. Especially when you're a homicide detective. - poo poo Astor is old enough to drive? They grow up so fast. Seems like only yesterday she was smoking pot and Dex had to threaten her friend's dad for some reason. - "Dad gave me the code so I would know the right thing to do, but you, you've always known," Like shooting dead Homicide Captain Maria Laguerta in a shipping container. And aiding and abetting a serial killer. - loving Dexter! Okay, that got a laugh. - "Freeze motherfucker!" Seriously, they had one last chance to use "Surprise motherfucker!" and they blew it  - "Murder solve rate is about 20%" You guys should really stop reminding me of when this show was good, because it really does not reflect well on what's happening right now. - "I don't need to kill you, I can walk away?" You're not going to let him go are you? Oh, you're going to call the cops. On a guy who knows everything about you, including having Ikea Monkey's old files and video tapes of your father training you to kill. poo poo, even if you don't care about yourself, that's going to be really damaging to Deb's career as a cop. Oh wait, a US Marshall already thinks she's harbouring a serial killer and has had police trash her house. Well, at least Deb can always go back to working with Elway  - Hey it's the US Marshall again. Hi there US Marshall. - And Dex and Deb just walk away leaving Saxon awake in the chair. No. I'm sorry, but no. Nobody in the entire world would ever do this. Ever. - Goodbye Ghost Dad  - Goodbye US Marshall - Goddammit, that went right in the last bullet hole! Owwwww. Owwwww. - Stupid loving voiceover. I know it's meant to be ironic or something, but really, it's just dumb. - Ooh, that preview looked really tense. Hah! Your lies can't hurt me anymore Showtime!
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Sep 16, 2013 11:46
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Guys the computer stuff is there just to distract and make you spend your energy complaining about the small stuff when the season as a whole is an incomprehensible mess.
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Sep 16, 2013 12:00
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AstroWhale posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xtvsiB7MZQ Holy gently caress, the slow motion at the end -- didn't even bother to shoot high speed and slow it down so that the framerate would be standard, it's standard framerate slowed down which means it's juddery as hell. That's just cheap as gently caress looking.
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Sep 16, 2013 12:06
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I laughed out loud at Dexters "Oliver Saxon..again" when turns up to Dexters house. Its like "oh, the villain of the season...this loving guy again".
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Sep 16, 2013 12:11
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Gorilla Salad posted:Look at all these cops searching Deb's house. Welp, hope you weren't set on that career as a cop again. Pretty sure a US Marshall suspecting you of hiding a serial killer counts as a black mark on your record. Especially when you're a homicide detective. If the people who make this pile of poo poo even bothered to connect the two things I'd be amazed. It doesn't look like anyone cared to tell Angel his new re-hire could be harboring a murderous fugitive and I can't see them going there with one (1) episode left of whatever this is. Whatever, no one gives a gently caress anyway. Also agreeing with whoever said the Ghost Dad goodbye was the worst thing ever. Really embarrassing stuff.
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Sep 16, 2013 12:18
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massive spider posted:I laughed out loud at Dexters "Oliver Saxon..again" when turns up to Dexters house. Its like "oh, the villain of the season...this loving guy again". That would have made a fun season. Saxon randomly showing up everywhere Dexter is while Dexter remains oblivious until the reveal.
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Sep 16, 2013 12:20
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Also I know the term "Mary Sue" has become synonymous with "character I don't like" but I really don't understand Hannahs ability to swoop in and have both Deb and Dexter be her BFFs when she brings nothing to the table except being really pretty and totally OK with icing people who get in her way. "you should be on one of those cooking shows, you'd win!" "I'd make sure of it haha (because I kill people)"
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Sep 16, 2013 12:24
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