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Decebal posted:I see the Ring like an F-35.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 12:57 |
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# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:31 |
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Where the hell are you guys gooning up these details about what the ring does and stuff? When I read the books it was just essay after essay about different kinds of trees and a thesaurus worth of words for hills. Never a description of, say, what an orc looked like or what the ring does in practical terms.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 16:32 |
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MSPain posted:Where the hell are you guys gooning up these details about what the ring does and stuff? When I read the books it was just essay after essay about different kinds of trees and a thesaurus worth of words for hills. Never a description of, say, what an orc looked like or what the ring does in practical terms. Probably from the lord of the rings technical manual.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 16:56 |
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MSPain posted:Where the hell are you guys gooning up these details about what the ring does and stuff? When I read the books it was just essay after essay about different kinds of trees and a thesaurus worth of words for hills. Never a description of, say, what an orc looked like or what the ring does in practical terms. read "the Silmarillion"
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 16:58 |
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MSPain posted:Where the hell are you guys gooning up these details about what the ring does and stuff? When I read the books it was just essay after essay about different kinds of trees and a thesaurus worth of words for hills. Never a description of, say, what an orc looked like or what the ring does in practical terms. Tolkien really had his audience down to a T, didn't he?
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:03 |
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I don't like the Lord of the Rings, and I think how Tolkien must be rolling in his grave over the mass commercialisation of his work and it makes me laugh.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:10 |
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Ex-Priest Tobin posted:I don't like the Lord of the Rings, and I think how Tolkien must be rolling in his grave over the mass commercialisation of his work and it makes me laugh. Yeah, it would suck to know you could have been rich but weren't when you were alive.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:11 |
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tolkein's been dead for 30 years of the ppl involved he cares the least. I'd like to say gently caress you to the peter jackson hobbits for killing thorin in the third movie... smh
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:11 |
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I think the first Lord of the rings movie is amazing, the 2nd one is okay and the third one is kind of so-so with its fuckin stupid rear end ghosts and the ending that never ends and I haven't watched any of the Hobbit movies because they seemed a lot like the 3rd movie somehow judging by the trailers. A bunch of bloated CGI infested garbage Still i'll probably watch them some day
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:19 |
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actually the third hobbit is the best middle earth movie of all time, in terms of orc death
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:23 |
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WHAT A GOOD DOG posted:and also, like, okay, are elves not loving humans? like, humans idolize the poo poo out of them, so why doesn't some fine-rear end elf sneak on in and woo some fine-rear end human with its 1000-year-old, perfected art of seduction. If they live forever, surely they got good at banging and seducing right, so why are the elves sitting around eating loving vegan black beans out of lettuce cups listening to harps instead of getting into some really depraved sexual poo poo Why would you go to human lands to pick up some hairy medieval human chick who's snatch probably smells like Gollum's cave pond when you have your own immortal elf goddesses who stay tight and wet forever and ever?
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:29 |
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he's a big old batty boy so he'd prob just lose it in his bum bum while rapidly giving himself the bidness
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:30 |
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there are no ugly elves
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:37 |
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if you live for 1000+ years i bet you'll end up depraved as gently caress because eventually regular sex would just get boring as HECK
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:38 |
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U stupid elf bitch... this is just typical... omg... omg get back in the stoackade... omg
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:41 |
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Universe Master posted:Why would you go to human lands to pick up some hairy medieval human chick who's snatch probably smells like Gollum's cave pond when you have your own immortal elf goddesses who stay tight and wet forever and ever? feeds their ego.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:43 |
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Concerned Citizen posted:why didn't the eagles just take the hobbits to mordor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qullWVe6gQg
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 17:50 |
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HAha, uh, totally , rings, you kmow, sauran, etc... anyway this gif is sort of ancillary
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 18:09 |
Rad Gravity posted:Well that and it lets you impose your will on others, particularly orcs and such I think, so you get to have massive armies and set yourself up as the new dark lord. Or if you're a hobbit you get to make massive gardens and be the lord of pipeweed. Sauron imposed his will on the orcadorks easily cause he's a big flaming-eye motherfucker that's a magician and the King of Mordor and poo poo. Plus, like, zillions of un-ringed dudes have armies, poo poo ain't special in Lordathurangs. Tarragon spends half the series waving his broken sword at dudes and they just fall in line. Gandalf just kinda shows up at places and goes "poo poo is going down" and there's armies and eagles helping him. Hell, Merry and Pippin smoke some weed with a tree and end up with an army of ents. loving ring does NOTHING, tell ya whut. And Gandalf's a confidence trickster in a hat.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 18:17 |
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 18:33 |
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Evangeline Lilly and Legolas and Bilbo and Thorin and Wizard with Elrond rear end kick fest owned.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 19:02 |
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quote:The Seventh Age presumably runs from the end of World War II in 1945 to the present day and beyond. So the ultimate end of Lord of the Rings can be some fatbeards jerkin' it in mom's basement after all.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 19:05 |
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morgoth was a oval office
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 19:39 |
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Disgusting Coward posted:Sauron imposed his will on the orcadorks easily cause he's a big flaming-eye motherfucker that's a magician and the King of Mordor and poo poo. Plus, like, zillions of un-ringed dudes have armies, poo poo ain't special in Lordathurangs. Tarragon spends half the series waving his broken sword at dudes and they just fall in line. Gandalf just kinda shows up at places and goes "poo poo is going down" and there's armies and eagles helping him. Hell, Merry and Pippin smoke some weed with a tree and end up with an army of ents. The point is more that if the lord aragon elfstone strider heir of sissyldur of the house of ephebophil of atlantis used the ring he'd get to command the orc armies as well, besides his lovely little human armies which would barely pass for a scouting party in a proper country. They've got barely 3000 guys defending the greatest city of the greatest kingdom in middle earth, boy I'm impressed.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 19:56 |
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Why was Sauron such a powerful entity anyway, wasn't he the same kind of thing as Gandalf? Also after they smashed him in that intro sequence in the first lotr movie, why did the world let him recover in the big evil Mordor ontop of a big evil tower as a big evil eye in it, while amassing countless orc armies under his banner Zzulu fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Dec 27, 2014 |
# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:04 |
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I think they had a bunch of civil wars and regular wars and plagues after which they stopped giving a poo poo about keeping the watch on mordor. e: also he totally wasn't supposed to be a literal flaming eye on top of a tower, ffs peter jackson
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:07 |
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Sauron was right, the lesser races need a powerful leader like himself to lead them towards a better tomorrow
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:08 |
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Zzulu posted:Why was Sauron such a powerful entity anyway, wasn't he the same kind of thing as Gandalf? Also after they smashed him in that intro sequence in the first lotr movie, why did the world let him recover in the big evil Mordor ontop of a big evil tower as a big evil eye in it, while amassing countless orc armies under his banner He's the same kind of thing as Gandalf, just a lot stronger. People didn't notice he was up to poo poo in Mordor until he had enough orcs that they wouldn't be able to deal with the problem.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:14 |
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The Valar are to blame for the whole fiasco anyway, they completely humiliated Angband after the Great War and literally broke the continent, of course the destitute orcs were going to flock to a charismatic tyrant like Sauron. And of course they went almost completely isolationist when it blew up in their angelic faces.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:16 |
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Rad Gravity posted:I think they had a bunch of civil wars and regular wars and plagues after which they stopped giving a poo poo about keeping the watch on mordor. The simarillion gives a lot more flavor to the history where literal gods and demons are fighting each other before gradually removing themselves from the physical world. The era where LoTR is happening is almost a post apocalyptic mess where people have forgotten the past and are just rebuilding a healthy society again. Also the elves are almost all gone to a magic alternate dimension thing after nearly destroying themselves over shiny moon rocks, and they are kind of depressed about it because it's like a magical retirement home
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:20 |
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The orcs just want a place to call home. The whole world wants them dead so of course they fight back Orcs are actually the good guys
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:22 |
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Zzulu posted:The orcs just want a place to call home. The whole world wants them dead so of course they fight back In the book Sam overhears some orks making plans to sneak off and live "without all these big bosses around like we did before" v cute
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:27 |
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Rad Gravity posted:The point is more that if the lord aragon elfstone strider heir of sissyldur of the house of ephebophil of atlantis used the ring he'd get to command the orc armies as well, besides his lovely little human armies which would barely pass for a scouting party in a proper country. They've got barely 3000 guys defending the greatest city of the greatest kingdom in middle earth, boy I'm impressed. i love their defensive tactics too. boy, let's get a trebuchet and launch this 5k ton rock into their formation instead of a breaking it down into 100-200 pound chunks. oh, it only killed one guy? whoops. oh, it actually turns out he sidestepped it and it killed nothing. whoops. and had they dug a nice ditch outside the gate/walls then their great big rear end towers and battering ram would have been rendered completely useless. these dudes sure loving know war i tell you what
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:43 |
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Elves that bang humans are basically pedos in elf culture. It's their version of that 1000 year old loli thing but reversed.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:45 |
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In the third movie the Eye of Sauron emits some sort of spotlight, to indicate where he's looking. That's retarded. And in the scene where this is introduced (near the end of the last loving movie), he's apparently just randomly looking around in Mordor. What the gently caress is he looking for, did he lose his contact lens or something? "Hmm better look around inside of this specific section of Mordor just in case I left my ring on the floor somewhere, OH poo poo there's an army at the black gate better go watch that now"
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:53 |
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Lord of Pie posted:It's their version of that 1000 year old loli thing but reversed. What the gently caress are you talking about
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:53 |
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QuarkJets posted:What the gently caress are you talking about if you were an elf and you were 1000 years old, if you slept with some 18 year old human chick, that's not good - there's some math the prove it, something like your age divided by 2 plus 7
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:56 |
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Lord of Pie posted:Elves that bang humans are basically pedos in elf culture. It's their version of that 1000 year old loli thing but reversed. Legolas constantly calls Aragon and Gimli "children" in the books.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:57 |
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Zzulu posted:Why was Sauron such a powerful entity anyway, wasn't he the same kind of thing as Gandalf? Also after they smashed him in that intro sequence in the first lotr movie, why did the world let him recover in the big evil Mordor ontop of a big evil tower as a big evil eye in it, while amassing countless orc armies under his banner There was this dude called Morgoth who got some spider to help him steal two trees to cover the universe in darkness. Like badass powerful with armies of demons and dragons as big as 5 mountains and Balrog of fire. Sauron was this dude's bitch and learned from him. Gandalf the Grey and Radagahast the Brown were weaker wizards sent by the God's or Angels to help guide humanity and the world to better themselves. Saruman the White was the most powerful of them but decided to gently caress up and get corrupted by Sauron. There were two other wizards but gently caress them. Anyway Elves are also mary sue strong like Gladriel and Elrond who were there at the tail end of badass poo poo to learn from the Angels and Gods. So all these dudes were learning from the best. And while there are a lot of good dudes apparently all the bad ones gathered under Morgoth and Sauron and there are a lot if bad dudes in the worls. Plus Sauron was smarter and corrupted a lot of peeps like Kings of Men while good gus like Gandalf smoked weed and Radaghast hosed animals or something. The point is that in the end apparently the Eagles can gently caress anyone's poo poo up and probably could have ended it all before it began if they cared. Same thing with some dude named Tom but all he cared about was getting high and singing and hiding in his tree or something. The bad guys are the only ones with their poo poo together besides the Elves. You'll notice the Dwarves are incompetent and Humans are corruptable. The Hobbits are pure and manage to make do because no one expects them to matter. The Orcs are basically meat sheilds to be killed by Legolas or undead green scrubbing bubbles.
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 20:59 |
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# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:31 |
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QuarkJets posted:In the third movie the Eye of Sauron emits some sort of spotlight, to indicate where he's looking. That's retarded. And in the scene where this is introduced (near the end of the last loving movie), he's apparently just randomly looking around in Mordor. What the gently caress is he looking for, did he lose his contact lens or something? "Hmm better look around inside of this specific section of Mordor just in case I left my ring on the floor somewhere, OH poo poo there's an army at the black gate better go watch that now" was that contact lens thing from family guy or something else?definitely one of those comedy cartoons anyway
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# ? Dec 27, 2014 21:57 |