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coolest dudes tho is the two blue wizards who wandered off the job and went native, given the wizardly proclivity for weed i have to assume they ended up in some magical opium den somewhere, twin heads of a criminal organization and surrounded by an asiatic harem
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 16:37 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 06:45 |
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The hobbit villages were gandalfs go to harem/opium den
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 16:39 |
saruman takes over the shire in the great weed wars
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 16:52 |
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Nation posted:saruman takes over the shire in the great weed wars warning: this post is canon.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 17:02 |
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the easterlings know they only as... The Double Dragons
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 17:09 |
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Dongattack posted:Ugh. It annoys me every time someone brings this up, i.e. "Why didn't an eagle just fly the Ring into Mount Doom?" I enjoy that some guy decided to write all of that out on his website and still miss the entire point of the books. It doesn't matter how the fellowship got to Mount Doom, none of them would have willingly destroyed the ring anyway.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 17:52 |
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FallenGod posted:I enjoy that some guy decided to write all of that out on his website and still miss the entire point of the books. It doesn't matter how the fellowship got to Mount Doom, none of them would have willingly destroyed the ring anyway. Gandalf knew
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 17:54 |
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FallenGod posted:I enjoy that some guy decided to write all of that out on his website and still miss the entire point of the books. It doesn't matter how the fellowship got to Mount Doom, none of them would have willingly destroyed the ring anyway. wow, boromir would have #boromir
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 17:58 |
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Zzulu posted:Gandalf should have made really cool armor for himself and went into powerful dudebro form himself, since apparently thats a thing they can do Naaaah, they forced all the wizards into oldman bodies, so they could be humble and stuff and know the pains of being mortal and ugly. Glowing really bright seems to be the best they can manage. Also Gandalf was scared shitless of Sauron and tried to beg his bosses not to send him.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:10 |
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FallenGod posted:I enjoy that some guy decided to write all of that out on his website and still miss the entire point of the books. It doesn't matter how the fellowship got to Mount Doom, none of them would have willingly destroyed the ring anyway.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:19 |
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DeepQantas posted:Well Frodo didn't either, so it really is a wash. Yes, I was including the hobbits in the fellowship. Whole thing was doomed from the start.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:23 |
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It was greed that saved the seven kingdoms in the end. Greed and slippery feet. ... Legolas would've been the worst choice. Should've given the ring to Gimli.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:25 |
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Yes nobody would've dropped the ring in. *Frodo drops the ring in* Yep
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:27 |
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It was gravity that destroyed the ring, ultimately
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:27 |
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Chill la Chill posted:*Frodo drops the ring in*
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:38 |
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Chill la Chill posted:Yes nobody would've dropped the ring in. no it was the gypsy who had stolen the ring and then accidentally fell in to the volcano
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:39 |
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what if they sent a normal sized eagle?
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:49 |
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DeepQantas posted:He dropped his ring finger, not the ring. Gandalf should've given clearer instructions
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:54 |
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Hogge Wild posted:no it was the gypsy who had stolen the ring and then accidentally fell in to the volcano Was literally shoved into the volcano by God himself you mean.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 18:56 |
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Hypothetically would some kind of manned drone been a good ring delivery system? Or would the effects of the ring be felt by the operator of said drone?
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:02 |
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why didn they just fly on the eagles and drop it in the volcano seems p simple
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:05 |
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honestly the seven kingdoms might have been better off with sauron in control
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:15 |
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What constitutes "wearing" the ring? Like if I shoved it up my rear end would I still turn invisible or no?
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:24 |
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Nefarious posted:What constitutes "wearing" the ring? Like if I shoved it up my rear end would I still turn invisible or no? I think you have to put something in the hole. So if you put your dick through it and wear it, it'd work. But if you put it up your rear end, then no, because it's like a ring within a ring.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:26 |
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Gatts posted:I think you have to put something in the hole. So if you put your dick through it and wear it, it'd work. But if you put it up your rear end, then no, because it's like a ring within a ring. On the downside it would make your penis try to take over Middle Earth
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:28 |
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etalian posted:On the downside it would make your penis try to take over Middle Earth your penis would become even more invisible
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:35 |
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Why don't the godbeings who sent Gandalf on his mission just get to work themselves and smoke Sauron with their godpowers were they just lazy?
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:52 |
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Zzulu posted:Why don't the godbeings who sent Gandalf on his mission just get to work themselves and smoke Sauron with their godpowers Last time they did that they inadvertently destroyed a whole continent
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:53 |
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Zzulu posted:Why don't the godbeings who sent Gandalf on his mission just get to work themselves and smoke Sauron with their godpowers They fought melkor the evil God and all had to leave the material plane after defeating him because, reasons Nefarious posted:Evangeline Lily is really just an off brand Kate Beckinsale.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:54 |
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Evangeline Lily has a cool name and I want her to sit on my weiner
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:55 |
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Nefarious posted:What constitutes "wearing" the ring? Like if I shoved it up my rear end would I still turn invisible or no? no but your dad would
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:56 |
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Nefarious posted:Evangeline Lily is really just an off brand Kate Beckinsale. Truer words never spoken.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 19:56 |
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nomadologique posted:although definitely the best sauron form is the seducer of numenor, i imagine him as a tall and perfectly formed black man a la nyarlathothep There was a plan at the end to have Sauron show up at the black gate as a handsome angel, I thought that would have been neat, since everyone is expecting a terrible monster.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 20:04 |
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Harald posted:no but your dad would
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 20:06 |
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has anyone made a serious post in this cool thread yet cause I want to laugh at it.
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 20:08 |
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unpacked robinhood posted:your penis would become even more invisible
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 20:30 |
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There's a perfectly good explanation for why the Eagles weren't involved. Jeffrey just has better things to do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HOlkacZwjs
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 20:48 |
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Dean of Swing posted:has anyone made a serious post in this cool thread yet cause I want to laugh at it. the one where I said I had sex with girls (it's true)
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 20:59 |
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:They're the salt of the earth good country folk who just want a stroll down to the pub for a pint without being bothered by a mob of orcs jabbering in their savage mussulman tongue while the elves are cultured but decadent and homosexual continentals. Only one group has the moral fortitude to wield the one ring of fascism justly so is the book any better than the movies? I tried to read it once but fell asleep right after tom bombadil and couldn't go on… that book is boooooooooring
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 21:54 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 06:45 |
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etatoby posted:^^^ best reading ever The book is better than movie since it has more gratuitous sex scenes
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# ? Jan 4, 2015 22:04 |