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gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW


- saves all cooking grease in can on counter to "reuse" or "make a candle" never uses it, gets mad if you throw it out

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Squish
Nov 22, 2007

I LIVE UNRELENTINGLY UP MY OWN ASS


Do you live with baby boomers?

jiharlequinade
Jun 4, 2009



it's semen

peanut
Sep 9, 2007

CENSORSHIP ROCKS


Make a candle hth

GuitarJunkie
Sep 8, 2004

"Boy, have we got a vacation for you."


The point of a candle is to smell good, not provide a source of light you dummy

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011
CARDIOVORAX BELIVES A POLICEMAN WHO GROPES A WOMAN SHOULD LOSE HIS JOB, AND DO A HUNDRED HOURS OF COMUNITY SERVICE UNDER THE PAIN OF GOING TO PRISON IF HE BREAKS HIS PAROLE


What kind of weirdo wants to make a candle that smells like cooked bacon?

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

I'm the roommate that complains loudly whenever you bring your SO over, but gets strangely quiet when you are both loving in the next room over.

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.


I'm the roommate that crawls into your bed after they've been out all night and has sex with you

Rad Tad
Jul 2, 2014



- saves all cooking grease in can on counter to "reuse" or "reheat and pour over his micropenis on cam to impress women on the internet"

Dely Apple
Apr 22, 2006

Sing Me Spanish Techno

Living with a goon sounds worse than any other roommate I've ever had, even the guy from Nepal who had his parents appear out of nowhere and they lived in his room

Hipster Occultist
Aug 16, 2008

He's an ancient, obscure god. You probably haven't heard of him.

Cardiovorax posted:

What kind of weirdo wants to make a candle that smells like cooked bacon?

only every goon ever

scalded schlong
Sep 20, 2003



- fucks your food when you're out of the house

Gypsum Fantastic
Aug 8, 2012



My favourite housemate mostly spent his life in his room painting little tiny elves but when he did venture out it was to tell us all about he was a god and one time we invited us to the pub to be nice and he came out in big brown robes which he said were his Jedi robes so we stopped asking him out and also he was stalking a Jewish girl.

quakster
Jul 21, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


Wicker Man posted:

I'm the roommate that complains loudly whenever you bring your SO over, but gets strangely quiet when you are both loving in the next room over.
the proximity cuck

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



My sister lived with a girl who was a total slob. Her mother had a copy of their key made so she could come over and clean her daughters room, but that quickly turned into cleaning the entire apartment and acting really passive aggressive towards my sister and the other two guys due to their cleaning habits (nothing about her daughter though). It sounds kind of good except that after she cleaned they could never find any of their stuff and the daughter would tut-tut them about poo poo as the apartment quickly went back to it's "natural state".

They also found out that she was ripping them off for the bills that she was 100% handling, adding on an additional 25% or whatever for everything. My sister found out because a bill was left out. They kept all interaction with her to a minimum after that, and I guess in response she stopped paying the bills but kept taking their money... but it was all connected to her so they just laughed as they moved out and she was trying to hit them up for more.

Gypsum Fantastic
Aug 8, 2012



Professor Shark posted:

My sister lived with a girl who was a total slob. Her mother had a copy of their key made so she could come over and clean her daughters room, but that quickly turned into cleaning the entire apartment and acting really passive aggressive towards my sister and the other two guys due to their cleaning habits (nothing about her daughter though). It sounds kind of good except that after she cleaned they could never find any of their stuff and the daughter would tut-tut them about poo poo as the apartment quickly went back to it's "natural state".

They also found out that she was ripping them off for the bills that she was 100% handling, adding on an additional 25% or whatever for everything. My sister found out because a bill was left out. They kept all interaction with her to a minimum after that, and I guess in response she stopped paying the bills but kept taking their money... but it was all connected to her so they just laughed as they moved out and she was trying to hit them up for more.

Oh never mind i misread that sorry!

Gypsum Fantastic fucked around with this message at Jul 20, 2014 around 12:29

quakster
Jul 21, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


Gypsum Fantastic posted:

Wow your mother sounds horrible so the girl just wanted to get her chill on and she had the nerve to enter her private space and put her poo poo out of place? She didnt even know her. Totally agree with her decision to withold rent.
hmm. im spotting more retards than usual in gbs today

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012



quakster posted:

hmm. im spotting more retards than usual in gbs today

me 2

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax


Professor Shark posted:

My sister lived with a girl who was a total slob. Her mother had a copy of their key made so she could come over and clean her daughters room, but that quickly turned into cleaning the entire apartment and acting really passive aggressive towards my sister and the other two guys due to their cleaning habits (nothing about her daughter though). It sounds kind of good except that after she cleaned they could never find any of their stuff and the daughter would tut-tut them about poo poo as the apartment quickly went back to it's "natural state".

They also found out that she was ripping them off for the bills that she was 100% handling, adding on an additional 25% or whatever for everything. My sister found out because a bill was left out. They kept all interaction with her to a minimum after that, and I guess in response she stopped paying the bills but kept taking their money... but it was all connected to her so they just laughed as they moved out and she was trying to hit them up for more.

This is almost literally my exact situation right now. Insane.

Gypsum Fantastic
Aug 8, 2012



quakster posted:

hmm. im spotting more retards than usual in gbs today

Yeah i misread something and redacted but I'm massively mega sorry and hope you'll forgive me.

Rad Tad
Jul 2, 2014



Gypsum Fantastic posted:

Yeah i misread something and redacted but I'm massively mega sorry and hope you'll forgive me.

"that" threadmate

Gobblecoque
Sep 6, 2011


Gypsum Fantastic posted:

Yeah i misread something and redacted but I'm massively mega sorry and hope you'll forgive me.

you're posting career is probably over unless you commit sudoku

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax


my fat Jew roommate is a habitual liar and is retarded and wants people to like her so much she alienates everyone and she has massive titties

Gypsum Fantastic
Aug 8, 2012



Gobblecoque posted:

you're posting career is probably over unless you commit sudoku

I had a posting 'career'? gently caress did nobody tell me this i thought i was just sgitposting for the fun of it I'll take cash or cheque plz lowtax!

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

my fat Jew roommate is a habitual liar and is retarded and wants people to like her so much she alienates everyone and she has massive titties

Hey, my sister's roomate was Jewish and wanted people to like her too much! Does your roomate's name start with an "M"?

Nation
May 8, 2003
Enjoy

sells the tv and then smokes all the meth to themselves

Suicide Sam E.
Jun 30, 2013

So what?
I might be gay . . .
and fuck - tarded . . .
But at least I'm not
Lord Wafflebeard
!!!!!!


just leaves garbage next to wherever they happen to be sitting for several hours without taking a break to move like a living creature. The magical garbage elves will get it!

(The magical garbage elves are actually just roaches and flies.)

EAB
Jan 18, 2011


Not a "that" roommate, but a "that" roommates friend.

A long time ago, I had a roommate with a creepy friend. Sometimes I would come out of my room, expecting none of my roommates to be home, but the friend would be in the living room or kitchen. "Oh hey, uh, whats up dude" I said while I wondered how he got in here. "Hey, not much man, just waiting for [roommate] to come home so we can work on this assignment." I was too busy and occupied with my own poo poo and life so I didn't think too much more about it. But after that day, it was happening like everyday, but I just stopped caring how he got in because the roommate didn't say anything.

This went on for about a couple weeks, when one day the roommate asks "EAB... have you been letting dude in the house? you should stop... this morning I woke up to him in my bedroom hovering over me and my girlfriend."

I was like, what the gently caress. After I told him I wasn't letting him in, he was like what the gently caress. He confronts him... turns out one day duder got my roommates keys, went to home depot, made his own copy of our house key, then brought roommates keys back without him noticing. And was letting himself in and out of our house, because he felt like he was a member of our house [wtf?]

We took the key away from him and banned him from coming over forever.

Sufficient
Aug 7, 2006
I'M A FUCKING IDIOT
p.s. don't wear condoms


I've lived in halfway houses with a ton of weird addicts, alcoholics, and excons and I've never seen someone doing what your roomate is doing OP

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009


Just get an apartment/house for yourself. You poors disgust me.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

You have failed me for the last time, Colonel Pickering.


lmao if you need room mates.
Why don't you loving nut up and live like an adult?

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009



they are soaking

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax


Professor Shark posted:

Hey, my sister's roomate was Jewish and wanted people to like her too much! Does your roomate's name start with an "M"?

Yes. Dude what the gently caress. Does your sister live in Arizona?

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


I walked in on my gay room mate masturbating in front of his gay friend on the first day of fall quarter during our first year of college in the middle of the day. For gently caress sake, wait a week or two to find out your roommate's schedule and daily patterns before jerking the chicken.

Extra
May 19, 2013



gagelion posted:

- saves all cooking grease in can on counter to "reuse" or "make a candle" never uses it, gets mad if you throw it out

gently caress hoarders forever

gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW


Hingehead posted:

I walked in on my gay room mate masturbating in front of his gay friend on the first day of fall quarter during our first year of college in the middle of the day. For gently caress sake, wait a week or two to find out your roommate's schedule and daily patterns before jerking the chicken.

Or don't jerk off in the house..

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax


gagelion posted:

Or don't jerk off in the house..

Congratulations on being retarded

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



Lifehack: instead of getting a roommate just have sex with someone regularly and then you can live in their house while they pay all the bills.

Wizzle-Wazzle
Oct 15, 2005

It is time for science.

My female roommate is dating a guy that no one likes, and she already has broken up with him once for being a controlling douche, and also buys things in bulk and then uses the item once and forgets about it.

My male roommate always needs to borrow my stuff, uses things like my soap because he forgets that not everything is his, is the loudest walker i've ever heard, and pours himself glasses of water and leaves them half full around the house.

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runupon cracker
Jan 13, 2006

This will hurt me more than it hurts you.

Gobblecoque posted:

you're posting career is probably over unless you commit sudoku

that's nothing to joke about, a friend of mine committed sudoku you insensitive gently caress. do you have any idea how hard it is to find a square coffin?

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