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Crow & Artix’s Wild Ride The LP subforum needs more good racing game LPs, so I am happy to oblige it. Welcome, everyone to Let’s Play Forza Horizon   Released (and set) in 2012, Forza Horizon is the fifth game in the Forza franchise, Mircosoft’s flagship exclusive racing franchise, and the first game in the Horizon sub-series, which includes Forza Motorsports 1 through 6, and Forza Horizons 1 to 3, thus far. Horizon was, effectively, Forza’s swan song on the Xbox 360 before the franchise made the jump to the Xbox One. True, Horizon 2 got a 360 port, but BLAH BLAH BLAH you don’t care. Set in the picturesque and fictional town of Carson, Colorado, the basic plot of Horizon—hell it’s more a premise than a plot—follows our nameless douchebag protagonist as he slides in via effectively an open casting call to the 2012 Horizon Tournament, this big racing rally that has descended upon Carson and is playing host to drivers from all around the world, famous and obscure alike. From there, it’s an uphill climb to battle our way to the top of the field and win poo poo loads of money and hot cars and dethrone the reigning Horizon Champion, Darius Flynt. But to do that, we need to bump off a slate of star rivals…  There is nothing to spoil about this game. You drive cars. There are races. All your rivals are assholes (except for Ali Howard, he’s your street bro), and in the end we kick the poo poo out of Darius Flynt and take his douche rear end to the cleaners. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey though. So just strap in and enjoy the ride.  I’m going to get this one out of the way up front: THIS IS A SIDE PROJECT first and foremost. Both Artix and I are hard at work on other projects that take up the majority of our potential LP time. He’s of course got Lightning Returns and cleaning up the mess I left him in Prince of Persia 2008 to get off his plate, while Ace Combat 04 and Total Extreme Wrestling will be taking up the majority of my time. As such, this LP is going to be updating on an ad hoc “When we have the time to” basis. I am going to try to aim for an episode every 2-ish weeks, but I will not make any hard promises, especially with the holidays coming up.  Episode 1.1 – Intro & Qualifiers Episode 1.2 – Yellow Wristband Races vs. Ramona Cravache Episode 2.1 – Street Races (Part 1) Episode 2.2 – Street Races (Part 2) & Green Wristband Races vs Ali Howard  NEW!Episode 3.1 – Green Wristband Clean Up & Showcase Events Episode 3.2 – Blue Wristband Races vs. Duke Maguire nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Jan 9, 2017 |
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Nov 27, 2016 04:00
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Nov 27, 2016 04:02
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EPISODE 1 – Ramona and Bejeezus Episode 1.1 – Intro & Qualifiers Episode 1.2 – Yellow Wristband Races vs. Ramona Cravache These first parts of Horizon introduce like half the cast to us, but I’ll just focus on the ones relevant to this part of the LP.    Our player avatar and silent protagonist. This straight white male middle class douchelord will be representing us as he stumbles his way through Carson, CO while various people he has never met before treat him like absolute poo poo for no particular reason. Luckily, he has the decency to never open his mouth and say a thing otherwise he’d be just as terrible as the rest of this cast of self-important jagoffs. He has no name either, so everyone in-game either refers to him with pronouns or as the “Mystery Driver.” For the sake of the LP, let’s just call him, oh… I dunno… “Dash.”   Alice Hart is effectively our Mission Control for Horizon. She will constantly be in our ear pointing us to the next race or updating us on challenges or special events or whatever as we come across them over the course of the game. While Alice may not be in charge of the Horizon Festival, she is its event booker, so while our slate of rivals is our immediate threat, she is ultimately the gatekeeper to our progress up the ladder to Darius Flynt… who she may or may not be sleeping with, just FYI. Don’t be afraid to call out any time you think Alice has a blatant conflict of interest over the course of the game’s “storyline.” Believe me, you will have plenty of opportunities.   Dak is our Car Dad. As the Horizon Festival’s chief mechanic, Dak is responsible for overseeing the safety inspection and modification of every car registered in the tournament. He will also be our mentor at sporadic points in the game, giving us tips on how to race better, insights into certain rivals, and will restore any “Barn Finds”—abandoned cars scattered around Carson that we can claim for ourselves—to racing condition should we find them. We will repay his generous services to us by destroying all of his advertising and driving his customer base away so that we can get free stuff from him.     Our first rival met on the track is Ramona Cravache. A veteran of the dirt rally circuit, Ramona’s main claim to fame is several back-to-back completed runs of the annual Dakar Rally. As such, the majority of her rival races will be taking place off road, where she can put her signature Ford Raptor SVT to good use, whether it actually qualifies for the race under normal circumstances, or not. She has come to Horizon this year to shame all the pubbies in the off-road portions of the tournament with her alleged dirt rally mastery. As our first actual rival and boss character, Ramona’s weaknesses far outnumber her strengths. Her Raptor has better traction and handling than anything you have access to at the start of the game, and it can easily push you around and out of its way with its massive body and weight, but that’s about it. On the downside, she is slower than you, she turns wider than you do, her heavyass truck is quite unresponsive at top speed, and her AI is generally dumber than a box of rocks. She is our basic boilerplate first boss.
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Nov 27, 2016 04:02
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Artix posted:This whole mess is technically my fault, I guess? I apologize for nothing, at any rate. Sure, let's go with that. Anyway, we just recorded the second episode earlier tonight, but for some reason, OBS decided to take the settings I had saved that gave me a file with 4 distinct audio tracks for my audio/the game audio/Artix's audio/additional audio to pull apart and mix at my pleasure, and toss out everything except the game audio, so our "commentary" track for this one coming up has been lost. The source video is intact though, so we're gonna look at salvaging it through post-commentary. Hopefully we'll have all the A/V quirks ironed out before the LP really gets going, but just bare with us. This is a "duct tape and clenched sphincters"-style LP par excellence.
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Nov 27, 2016 08:19
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As recompense for the commentary screw up, I will give you this brief magical moment from the video as a taste of things that may be yet to come, possibly...
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Nov 27, 2016 08:59
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Spudd posted:Oh I thought Horizon was the one set in Australia? Horizon 3 is  . Horizon 2, meanwhile, is set in France/Germany/Italy.
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Nov 27, 2016 09:53
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Cooked Auto posted:Edit: You probably need to boost your audio levels a little for future videos because the game drowns you out a lot of the time. Due to me not clicking a certain checkbox on Voicemeeter's inscrutable UI, Audacity recorded my audio and the game's audio on my commentary track, so we were kind of hosed out of the gate in terms of audio balance. However, upon consulting with Artix, we have agreed that next time we will turn the game audio up even louder just to make sure there aren't any further issues.
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Nov 28, 2016 04:07
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Mysticblade posted:So, when do the Mikumobiles make their appearance? I am not dignifying that quite frankly asinine question with a response 
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Nov 28, 2016 08:56
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As you all wait patiently for the next update; something to tide you over. An art piece: I call it "Life is meaningless. lol nothing matters"
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Dec 5, 2016 09:25
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Dec 25, 2016 05:59
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EPISODE 2 – Jet Set Radio Doucher Episode 2.1 – Street Races (Part 1) Episode 2.2 – Street Races (Part 2) & Green Wristband Races vs Ali Howard    Rival #2 in Forza Horizon is the magnificent Mr. Ali Howard aka our Race Bro. Ali is the local king of the underground street racing scene here in Carson, Colorado. His cars are all ostensibly street legal, but pack some serious surprises under the hood in terms of speed and maneuverability. Ali operates what is essentially a shadow racing tournament right under the nose of the Horizon Festival bookers out of the Carson City parking garage and the Gladstone Hill cell tower, and has entered the actual Horizon tournament this year primarily to recruit new racers he thinks have potential into his street racing league and to win some decent prize money in order to keep it afloat... that is if the local cops don't shut him down first. Ali is a hipster with a capital "just look at that loving picture up there." Dude dresses like a hipster, dude talks like a hipster, dude drives cars that are basically hipsterbait. He is also, because of the Street Racing side game, the only one of your rivals that sticks around after you beat him. So it's a good thing that unlike the majority of your other rivals, he's not a complete rear end in a top hat and basically treats you like a friend throughout his time in the game. If Horizon was a buddy movie, Ali Howard would be our buddy. He is the Roman Pierce to our Brian O'Connor. Also, hi, it's me, I'm the one jackass out there who likes 2 Fast, 2 Furious and thinks it actually makes for a decent early 00's buddy cop movie. Ali is where the game stops loving around and actually becomes a decent challenge to beat. Beating Ali takes more than just having a faster car than his, you also need to know how to actually drive with it too. Ali also makes use of a wider array of cars than Ramona did. While Ramona was content to stick with her HellTruck to bulldoze her way through races that it literally shouldn't be allowed into, now that the game is opening up a little more and event restrictions are coming into play, Ali is more tactical with his choice of rides, which means that you have to be now too. Once you clear the first race with him, however, the first Street Racing venue (the Carson City Parkade) opens up for you to peruse at your leisure. As you progress through the game and win more story mode races, more street race options will unlock for as well, including the second street race venue (the Gladstone Hill Cell Tower). It's well worth your time to check out these optional races because they tend to have the highest cash payouts in the game. If you're looking to make a lot of cash really quickly, the street races are where you want to go because they often pay double, sometimes even 4x what regular races do at any given point in the game, and that multiplier only increases as you up the difficulty and handicaps. For all intents and purposes, Ali Howard is effectively going to be bankrolling this LP    The context is in the video, watch it to find out. Also the spelling mistake is intentional.
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Dec 28, 2016 04:15
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Cooked Auto posted:The latest episode of The Grand Tour (aka the new Top Gear) has a very lovely segment with James May about the creation of the Ford GT and the 1966 Le Man race. I'm partial to Jeremy Clarkson's telling of the tale of the Ford GT's origin from the Forza 4 Autovista, which I sloppily paraphrased in the video. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Dec 29, 2016 |
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Dec 29, 2016 01:12
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I really do hope you do these for every one of our rivals as the game goes on  Although, Ramona, Zaki, and Hailey don't show up in the CG storyline sequences. But Duke, Marko, and Darius all do
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Dec 29, 2016 08:00
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 CAR SHOW! ROAD CLOSED ON JUNE 18th! CAR SHOW! ROAD CLOSED ON JUNE 18th! CAR SHOW!
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Jan 6, 2017 01:17
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RydogZeta posted:Since you’re in Colorado get a Subaru paint it purple then drive 10mph under the speed limit on two lane roads where the other lane has too much traffic for you to pass them. (This happened numerous times when I lived in Denver for 4 years) You are giving me ideas, to be certain. If anyone else has any requests, please feel free to post them. We are certainly open to them.
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Jan 7, 2017 07:40
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EPISODE 3 – Krash and the Boys Episode 3.1 – Green Wristband Clean Up & Showcase Events Episode 3.2 – Blue Wristband Races vs. Duke Maguire    Our third rival in Horizon is our resident Johnny Knoxville wannabe, Duke Maguire, and I use that descriptor with some heavy reservation, because Johnny Knoxville has a modicum of class, decency, and self-awareness that Duke does not. Duke is, by most metrics, the most quantifiably popular racer at the Horizon Festival, being the host of a decently well known (in Horizon's internal universe) automotive entertainment show on a fairly mainstream basic cable network (like say MTV or the Discovery Channel). Although that's just me making assumptions. We're never really given any solid information on what exactly Krash Max is as a TV program beyond it apparently being some gross mixture of Jackass and Top Gear and that is has a sizable enough fan following that Alice straight up calls Duke out in a public space no less because she suspects he's just here to film an episode of his show and bank some free publicity out of it. I'd imagine though, given the way it's presented in Horizon, that Krash Max would be one of those niche shows that achived the right level of popularity to attain a level of cultural osmosis like MythBusters, Jackass, and Top Gear did. One of those shows that, even if you've never watched an episode of it, you would still know what it's about just by other people talking about it. Oh, and speaking of Alice and conflicts of interest, you may have already noticed it in little blips and bites here and there, but Krash Max the fictional TV show is also an event sponsor at the Horizon Festival. Certain mini challenges are sponsored by Krash Max itself, and the show will pay us money for like racking up landscape or object destruction bonuses or smashing into other cars and the like. Banners and signs with the Krash Max logo are also scattered across the festival grounds, and I think there may even be a race outright sponsored by the show at some point too. So Alice just let the literal faceman of one of the festival's major sponsors slide himself into the tournament roster with virtually no objection. Though really, if she let Ali in knowing full well that he was running an illegal street racing shadow tournament literally down the road from the festival grounds, and let Ramona compete in any race she wanted to with nothing but her Helltruck, I don't think Alice actually gives an honest poo poo about running Horizon in anything resembling a professional manner. It's also worth pointing out, that Alice doesn't come back for Horizon 2 or Horizon 3, those games each have their own distinct Mission Control characters, so I'd like to think that Alice got her rear end promptly fired by the Horizon brass after the 2012 tournament wrapped up for doing stuff like sleeping with the reigning champ, and allowing sponsors to compete in actual races, and bending the rules to codify a sketchy popularity contest. As a racer, Duke is a particular pain in the rear end to compete against because he is self-destructively agressive, not just against other racers, but also against you in particular. In keeping with his gimmick of being an obnoxious jackass that makes his living by smashing stuff into other stuff at high speeds, Duke's main tactic is just trying to ratfuck you off the podium by trying to run you off the road and keep you there for as long as he can. Duke often handicaps himself out of podium positions in races by his choice of cars (usually cheap beaters he can afford to smash up and then scrap) and his abysmal racing skills, so once you manage to actually get out around him and pass him, he isn't much of a threat, especially compared to Ali, who had the cars and skills to hound your heels to the finish line. No, where Duke is most dangerous is in the mid-race with his jackass antics. He is specifically designed to be a frustrating gadfly troll who races stinking dirty. Your tactic of choice when facing the crash master should be, literally, to run him off the road before he can run you off it. Which I do to fantastic effect in the above posted video. Because he just doesn't have the skills to recover from a race-ruining crash. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Jan 10, 2017 |
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Jan 9, 2017 09:43
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StupendousMan posted:Oh man, this is special. Our setup is hilariously complex, but it's working so far. This is being done live on a real Xbox 360, the footage of which is being piped through OBS which is then recording the game video, game audio, my commentary and Aritx's commentary plus ChoasArgate's Discord music bot on separate tracks which I then pull apart and mix back together in Premiere. The video is then fed live without audio to Artix over screenshare on Skype. That's also why the video looks a little smeary and artifacty in places, OBS only gave me two viable output rendering options: pristine video quality and only one audio channel, or "okay" video quality and the three audio channels I needed in order to sound balance properly in post.
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Jan 9, 2017 22:19
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Artix posted:Update 3 Radio! I guess I could have watched the entire 3.2 video to put the radio back together but Also, that's loving rich, you blaming me for your internet garbage ruining the set list and requiring the shuffle Edit: One song that didn't survive the blackout that destroyed the original Episode 3 footage was Death By Glamour from Undertale, which I forgot to load back on to the playlist for 3.1. It wasn't going to be on the video anyway because when it played originally in the destroyed 3.1 recording, it was over a nearly ten minute block of us trying to find the second Barn Find at Finley Dam so that footage was getting cut for time anyway. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jan 9, 2017 |
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Jan 9, 2017 22:25
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Skippy Granola posted:Hey I'm suddenly very disappointed that the Ford Model T only appears in Gran Turismo 4. I have said though that if need be we will be dipping into Forza 4--the game Horizon was built off of--in case we need to show off things that aren't in Horizon, like the DMC Delorean or the AMC Gremlin or other amazingly lovely cars that are in FMS4 but not Horizon.
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Jan 10, 2017 04:50
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Shei-kun posted:I heartily approve of this gimmick and eagerly await to see what other horrible/beautiful things you two will subject the rest of us with. I'm gonna have to check the Forza Marketplace and see if anyone has made a skin like that. Also, now that we are out in the open with our gimmick for this LP, I am more than open to doing a GOON CARS NIGHT. I know for a fact that SA had/has a presence in the Forza online community. I found a not small amount of SA meme decals online from the hand grenade to the goonfleet bee, to even the DEATH IS CERTAIN wizard van.So, I'm putting the offer out up front: if you have a car design you've done and feel comfortable showing off (and probably laughing at, even if it's good) or if you have a spare copy of Horizon or Forza 4 kicking around and Xbox Live Gold and want to make one from scratch for the LP, then PM me or email me at ninegearcrowsa at gmail dot com with your Xbox Live gamertag and the name of your godawful creation so I can find it and download it and put it to use in an upcoming video. I will not reveal your gamertag unless you specifically okay it (as you've seen I've been censoring gamertags across the LP to protect people's privacy), and if you wish it you can remain completely anonymous (as in I won't even reveal your SA username on the video). We're probably not going to actually record anything this week because I have an update for a Total Extreme Wrestling that I've been putting off and putting off that I really need to sit down and just write, so you will have a decent amount of time, but I'd say if you want to get in on this, best submit sooner rather than later, and no later than January 25th, I'd say. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Jan 10, 2017 |
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Jan 10, 2017 11:49
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 Take me, Horizon, I'm yours.
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Jan 19, 2017 06:59
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I should probably just come out and say this rather than leave anyone hanging in the lurch: Horizon is dead because Artix doesn't want to do it any more. Blame Picross and Bloodborne and his personal life. We'd said going into to this that we were gonna do it until we just got tired of it and it turns out that point was "literally after we revealed the gimmick of the LP." Sorry folks.
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Mar 12, 2017 23:29
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Artix posted:To be fair, it's not *just* an inconsistent work schedule and other projects going on, it's also that it takes the better part of a couple hours just to prep for a session and then another two hours to record (assuming no technical difficulties) and we're stuck with a last-gen marketplace that's 4 years old in an annual series AND we haven't recorded in months anyway so who the gently caress knows where we even are. Indeed all of that too, in addition to the 90-ish+ minutes it usually takes me to grind out the in-game cash to purchase either the cars and/or custom decals for each theme night. To say nothing of how we've each been focused on wrapping up either Ace Combat 04, Lightning Returns and Prince of Persia (and trying to wrangle Blind Sally, CJacobs and Fedule into the same Discord room all at the same time to do so) for the last three months and kicking off Ace Combat 5 and Tokyo Mirage Sessions, so an LP we mutually decided to do on a lark just kept slipping lower on the priorities list. I am a little pained we didn't get to finish at least the "storyline" of Horizon because there's still some good rizz material with the rivals we didn't get to, but by and large I'm fine leaving it where we got to. I t-boned Duke Maguire into a rock wall with a giant golden Chevy Bel Air. That's the perfect note to end an LP on, really.
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Mar 13, 2017 03:55
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Also, I just want to post all the unused episode titles that would have accompanied the Star Showdown episodes we never got to: Marko Baran: HACK DNC Zaki Malik: Bush Did 09:11:000 Hailey Harper: Hailey's Comet ...Kinda  , I know.Darius Flynt: Kingslayer
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Mar 19, 2017 07:24
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