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Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:That last one is a tiny plesiosaur. Big difference.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 01:02 |
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# ? May 3, 2024 02:32 |
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monkey posted:I used to sell computers for Harvey Norman in '91. Back then, Harvey Norman was a discount white goods retail chain, ie: they sold fridges, washing machines and that sort of thing, the computer department was a new thing and only a handful of kids like myself had any clue what was going on, I was a nice guy and used to ask customers what they wanted to do with their computer to figure out whether they actually needed an FPU, or would the standard SX model do. One day a young couple came in looking to buy their first PC and after they explained that she worked as a typist and was looking forward to things like backspace and spell checking I told them that our computers, with software and dot matrix printer included would cost them around $2,500. But if backspace, spellcheck and line formatting is all they want to do, they could buy an electric typewriter that buffers the last line and shows it on a little LCD screen, and does not actually type the letters until you hit carriage return. This was much closer to what they actually wanted, since dot matrix printers were not yet up to the quality of a traditional typewriter, and electric typewriters sold for around $300 to $500. Unfortunately Harvey Norman did not sell electric typewriters, so they walked out with cash in pocket. A few days later the same couple came back in, it was midweek and the store was quiet, so a handful of sales guys swooped on them like vultures (I was busy showing another customer how to print) but no, they wanted to speak to me specifically. They told me that they'd found exactly what they were looking for elsewhere, and were gushing gratitude for me saving them $2000. Then, despite my objections, the guy stuffed $300 in my shirt pocket, which was more than the commission I would have made by selling them a PC. Since it was a quiet day, the manager overheard this exchange and I was fired that afternoon. On my way home I saw a guy being spitroasted by a couple of octopuses that had escaped from the local aquarium. I remember reading this and being unable to explain why the hell I was laughing so hard.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 01:40 |
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Tide posted:Keep in mind that I say this as someone who is pretty drat happy with the way life has worked out. I have a well paying job. I have a great wife. I have an awesome kid. By and large, aside from being a good 20-30 lbs overweight, I'm pretty healthy. I'm a decent enough looking guy that if I were divorced tomorrow I wouldn't have problems lining up a date by the weekend. I have a couple of friends that I feel like I can share my worst fears with. Beyond those two, I have a fairly robust social network of friends. Not overly tight with family, other than my parents (it wasn't always this way), but that's never been a 'thing' and that's 'okay'.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 03:04 |
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I don't find that very funny, I have to say.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 03:28 |
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Subjunctive posted:I don't find that very funny, I have to say. I thought you were quoting the post about the sock monkey and started forming strong words.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 04:02 |
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Related does anyone have that story about the guy who runs slowly
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:58 |
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Daikatana Ritsu posted:A Computer Scientists Analysis of the Funny Level of the name CRIP EATIN BREAD:
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:35 |
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LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:I thought you were quoting the post about the sock monkey and started forming strong words. I'm not a loving savage.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:49 |
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Oh come on, it's a riot! Don't tell me you can't even find a smidgen of schadenfreude in the fact that this person has deluded themselves into believing that a decade of hard work in painful "self improvement" will somehow pay off in the end?
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:16 |
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I'm the modest yet adequately workable dick size.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:27 |
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Breetai posted:I'm the modest yet adequately workable dick size. A grower, not a shower.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 11:36 |
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Subjunctive posted:I don't find that very funny, I have to say. You're right, I'm an idiot. This isn't a general quotes thread.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 13:14 |
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why is that post in a automobile forum
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 13:45 |
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awkwerd paws posted:sup, CRIP EATIN BREAD here, i saw your profile and i have to say i think youre really gorgeous. i also enjoy %504 data fetch error% . i could stare into your Enjoys books, parties, and drinks with friends eyes all day. maybe we can meet up local for a coffee in %504 data feCLOSING
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 14:03 |
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Mans posted:why is that post in a automobile forum cause were on a highway to hell and the danger train loving haven't brakes cant stop wont stop ride tilwe die
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 15:50 |
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Pretty sure that was just one-upmanship without regard to usernames, and if we're going to be that specific, there's no such thing as a "brontosaurus" anyway. Buddy I have good news for you: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-brontosaurus-is-back1/ It turns out it is actually considered different enough now to be a genus distinct from Apatosaurus.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 16:20 |
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Kitfox88 posted:Related does anyone have that story about the guy who runs slowly one of my favorites http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2932975 quote:I run slow
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 18:47 |
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Now that's the Reverse Flash.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 19:34 |
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Brutal
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:37 |
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"I run slow" is concise and to the point and tells you a lot about the person who wrote it, where he is, where he's going, and where he's been that isn't explicitly stated, and as a result has you rooting for him. But what if... what if, goons, it was also 5 times as long, reads like an amalgamation of 5 years worth of 'inspirational' Facebook posts by your grandma and that one girl who you found annoying but not annoying enough to cull from your friends list just yet because her tendency to rant about the drama of her shambolic life is still amusing, and written by a man who has likely unironically used the phrase "but I make up for it with my tongue", picked that particular verbal turd off the floor where it fell, and adhered it to himself like a badge of honour.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 22:15 |
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Phthisis posted:one of my favorites Thanks Breetai posted:"I run slow" is concise and to the point and tells you a lot about the person who wrote it, where he is, where he's going, and where he's been that isn't explicitly stated, and as a result has you rooting for him. What
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 22:35 |
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quote:I run slow
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 22:41 |
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Kitfox88 posted:Thanks Read the wall of text upthread posted by bucephales.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 22:52 |
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Goddamnit I've ruined the thread.
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# ? Jan 21, 2016 23:32 |
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Bucephalus posted:Goddamnit I've ruined the thread. No you haven't, I'm in search of a seriouspost right now myself. Does anyone have the quote that started with a goon's great-(great-?) grandmother sending her sons off to war, and ending with something to the effect of "A new war is coming..." The very last sentence is something like "Assuming you live long enough to learn that peculiar knowledge of the [something]." It shows up in these quotes threads a lot -- I want to say it was an Adaptive Systems post, but I can't swear to it.
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 00:00 |
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:No you haven't, I'm in search of a seriouspost right now myself. Adaptive Systems posted:My fathers mother recently died, in her late nineties, after two solid decades of fervent, daily, devoutly Catholic prayer for release from her increasingly humiliatingly decrepit body. I remember sitting with her in the dead of winter, in a lovely seafood restaurant, a few miles from the Atlantic. It wasnt too long before her mind went, and almost as if she knew she didnt have much time, she talked hurriedly, pausing only to sip her mineral water, and then returning to all the wondrous things she had the great good fortune to witness, from hearing the news that Peary had made it to the North pole, to actually seeing the Spirit of Saint Louis in person.
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 00:36 |
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loving poetry. Does anyone have a link to adaptive-systems.pdf?
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 00:50 |
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Edit: just so this isn't just a quote https://adaptivesystems.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/adapt-ebook.pdf Keru has a new favorite as of 01:23 on Jan 22, 2016 |
# ? Jan 22, 2016 01:17 |
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Van Kraken posted:Adaptive Systems brilliance Thank you so much for that. It is still every bit as good as it was the first time I read it.
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 02:07 |
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This was a recent one, the guy posting about how his dad died but their favorite football team was about to win and then the attempt at the field goal bounced off the goalpost into the hands of the opposing team who then scored?
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 03:18 |
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Enourmo posted:also, lesbians/bisexuals. its 2016, women can legally have wives now. Im straight!! I was making fun of a man jeez! 😝
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 03:34 |
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sweeperbravo posted:This was a recent one, the guy posting about how his dad died but their favorite football team was about to win and then the attempt at the field goal bounced off the goalpost into the hands of the opposing team who then scored? The Glumslinger posted:
Was it this post?
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 03:43 |
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graybook posted:
Yes, thanks
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 13:16 |
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Carl Killer Miller posted:
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 17:30 |
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:The female Kremlings are apparently designed by someone who has no idea what a female Kremling would look like. The idea of introducing gendered identities to normally non-gendered alligators so often treats the familiar as inherently masculine. Female Kremlings are painted hot yellow and granted the enlarged, fluttery swords so often used to distinguish women from men in lazily drawn cartoons. "Look at that cutlass," declares Diddy and he gets a look at one of the ladykremlings' rear end. In one scene, the game even eroticises
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# ? Jan 22, 2016 23:18 |
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huh you guys didnt have to make a whole thread dedicated to my post history
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 01:52 |
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Nooner posted:i am a sexual deviant, i like to have gears and milk and trucks wtf dude
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 01:59 |
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Nooner posted:huh you guys didnt have to make a whole thread dedicated to my post history Oh you!
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 02:09 |
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Dr. Honked posted:v for velveeta
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 03:55 |
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# ? May 3, 2024 02:32 |
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Jerry Cotton posted:"Miscarriage?"
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# ? Jan 23, 2016 18:31 |