Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Will anything ever compare to the high of this thread.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 07:10

BMan: Oct 31, 2015; KNIIIIIIFE
EEEEEYYYYE
ATTAAAACK

Ragingsheep posted:

Hope you've got an exit plan EightAce

Maybe he can work at 3000AD :unsmigghh:

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:40

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

EightAce posted:

- All the hilarity and fallout from 10ftc, Starmarine being cancelled and the reddits etc have caused absolutely no concern whatsoever. Literally no one gives a gently caress. The attitude is , ' Its just noise let them have their fun we know better'. Chris in particular is totally detached from it all

Great to see you return from that meeting and to hear back from you. With what I've been witnessing on Reddit and, to an even greater degree, on the RSI forums, ignoring the Star Marine fallout may very well make this into the turning point from which there will be no return.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:40

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Sarsapariller posted:

Can I just say- I appreciate that you're dissatisfied, and if you want to go public that's cool, but if it's putting other people's jobs (or your own) at risk you really should go softly. Nobody needs to fall on their sword to help this thread make fun of Star Citizen.

He's already kept stories from the thread for the sake of protecting sources. Which is frustrating because I'm still hoping to hear a particular one!

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:41

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

thanks for the update eightace. glad youre still around, good luck for the next little while.

god drat i cant believe theyre not paying attention to the forums and everything. i mean, i can, but gently caress.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:43

Justin Tyme: Feb 22, 2011

Eager to hear what Derek was hinting at earlier/waiting to confirm.

This thread's provided me with more entertainment on this site in a while, hi fives all around.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:43

CrazyLoon: Aug 10, 2015; "..."

alf_pogs posted:

god drat i cant believe theyre not paying attention to the forums and everything. i mean, i can, but gently caress.

Their community management team has steadily gone from bad to worse, to the point where pretty much all they get as feedback now is either bile and dissapointment (legitimate or not), as well as loyal shitizen insanity.

But rather than address the root causes, of how they could've wound up with such a toxic shithole of a community ( :lesnick:

), they just shrug their shoulders, say: "Lol, it's the internet! Couldn't possibly be something we did wrong!", no longer give a gently caress about what anyone from the outside says and just focus on their own delusions. Much like the Star Citizen reddit and its offshoots, lol.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:45

Junk Puncher: Dec 31, 2009

G0RF posted:

Why would a publisher do that? What is there really to gain by this, when to date, we've seen nothing wonderous, nothing proprietary, nothing special in Star Citizen save for what they promise will come in their "in engine"' video ads?

DICE could build a better FPS with Spaceships in Frostbite from the ground up for half of what Chris has raised. With no liabilities, no promises to entitled whales expecting space planes that carry 100+ passengers and include cocktail serving minigames that would've been boring even in a CD-I title.

Bioware could add spaceship combat to Mass Effect: Andromeda (if they don't already have that planned) in Frostbite and deliver a better experience than Star Citizen as sold. They've got great lore, a built in audience, a world class shooter engine, and marketing people who actually know how market and merchandise.

Buying up the wreckage of this in bankruptcy is buying IOUs to hundreds of thousands of pissed off people, the most invested of which are used to being able to get the VP of Marketing on the phone when they're pissed, used to getting to hang around the offices and jawbone with the developers, used to having mods look the other way when they send phallus photos to female backers.

Yes, there is talent at CIG. It's not at the top, though-- it's in the middle. The main talent those at the top have is a talent for fleecing the gullible and the corporation their funds have helped build. Not exactly like picking up a Carmack in a buyout.

Publishers hate Star Citizen- they absolutely hate it. Because Chris Roberts pounded his chest and called them the enemy of great games, called them peddlers of uninspired unit shifters. He has gotten and continues to get much Gaming Industry love by striking his Punk Rock pose and flipping off the industry. He's called them the enemy of visionary developers, of fidelity and immersion, and worse-- and drawn a cult like devotion from people who buy into his false dichotomies and sky's the limit promises.

If this thing does crater one day, they will have no lifelines for Chris. They will not hover like vultures to pick the meat and marrow off of Star Citizen's corpse. They will leave it decomposing wherever it dropped, pop corks on champagne and watch as their upcoming games hit the market and are bought for $60 by the same folks still holding IOUs for spacepixels and dreams.

So Chris better get this to Minimum Viable Product while the getting is still good and the money still rolls in, because it's more likely he'll get a class action lawsuit than an industry bailout if he crash this thing.

Harrowing. Nothing but ashes then, huh?
But you're right, there'll be nothing but ashes.

gently caress.

Tippis posted:

CIG has no valuable tech, just ideas of tech that they would like to have (but can't seem to deliver). If they go under, yet another year or two will have passed before it's available so what meh-level tech they could conceivably have will be obsolete. That leaves the people as the thing to buy, but there's a problem with that: if the company goes under, there's no need for anyone to buy it to get the people � you can just hire them as normal because all of them just lost their jobs. No need to burden yourself with an entire company when you can just cherry-pick newly freed up talent.

That leaves the IP but Star Citizen does not have an IP to speak of. It's generic �militaristic humans vs. scary aliens�, which is not an idea that needs to be bought. The only thing that remains is the art � the dreaded jpegs and the concept designs, but why bother? You have to rebuild everything from scratch anyway.

The hollywood dramatisation will be the only place to experience the far more fun narrative

And this thread.
best :10bux:

ever spent

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:45

Salt n Reba McEntire: Nov 14, 2000; Kuparp.

You are Erin Roberts and I claim my five pounds!

Seriously, though, I'm glad you're okay. Please keep your head down, chap - this comedy will asplode by itself without you having to strap on a bomb-vest.

Also, thank you for your posts. This is the best thread in the history of the forums, and you are integral to that.

E: Well, okay, top ten. Maybe twenty.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:45

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Romes128 posted:

Goon dislike for Star Citizen predates Derek's involvement.

Derek is only liked here because he opened the flood gates for refunds. He gets credit for that. I think he was ran out of GBS like a year ago. And was mocked by Lowtax himself.

Also he's learned how to roll with the insult punches, so he's actually fun now.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:46

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

eightace, thank for you for confirming that cig is sitting around in boardrooms discussing goons. this is unbelievably funny to me.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:50

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Ghostlight posted:

Will anything ever compare to the high of this thread.

I don't think we're even on the roller coaster yet.

That is an amazing update EightAce. This is amazing. Everything is amazing.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:51

Junk Puncher: Dec 31, 2009

Oh, and welcome back Ace. Good luck with your work and whatnot.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:51

Matlock Birthmark: Sep 24, 2005; I wanted this to happen!!; Soiled Meat

Justin Tyme posted:

Eager to hear what Derek was hinting at earlier/waiting to confirm.

I'd guess his info will be the further staff departures. He seems to like to highlight those.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:52

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

According to my sources at linkedin.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:53

Terebus: Feb 17, 2007; Pillbug

EightAce posted:

I wrote a long post and then deleted it. Its turning into Custers last stand and I just don't want to get people in trouble . I have already said to much I reckon and if people get in the poo poo because of whats discussed here and the very obvious source then that is nothing but bad.
I can highlight some stuff in bullet points but nothing at Derek Smart level of excitement
- A couple of very public faces have left CIG UK right under everyone's noses. This may be out there already . You will know who if you check ATV and all that bollocks and then see who doesn't appear anymore. Not actual game developers just CS monkeys but significant none the less. The old adage poo poo rolls down hill is never so true when you are involved with CIG ... B4TBG email exchange is still causing fallout ... and all the wrong people are getting blamed
- I know what they are currently concentrating on , it is simply unbelievable . I cant say what it is for obvious reasons but it is up there with the farming module. talk about fiddling while Rome burns .....
- All the jobs being advertised are legit and they are getting really desperate now to fill those positions. However they just cant and Mr Smart's blogs are being cited as the reason. if anyone is interested they are paying above industry standard but you might only have the job for another 12 months at best.
- The whole animation system is simply hosed. You are looking at a team of very competent animators working flat out for a year or two to get anything working properly.
- Sq42 looks absolutely stunning (The space bits) FP stuff looks like a PS1 game and no one seems to give a poo poo. However it is not a game, there is no game play or direction. Nothing just amazing graphics in an editor. The whole thing is in a constant state of flux and a dev cycle that was already floundering is now totally FUBARED because the emperor himself is taking a hand in it personally. Some big news outlets have been in there recently doing all sorts of walk around's and interviews.
- All the hilarity and fallout from 10ftc, Starmarine being cancelled and the reddits etc have caused absolutely no concern whatsoever. Literally no one gives a gently caress. The attitude is , ' Its just noise let them have their fun we know better'. Chris in particular is totally detached from it all

The other stuff I cant talk about at the moment because it will be so obvious where its coming from

Pretty much agreeing with all the other posters. Thanks for the updates but I think most people here would rather you keep your job/reputation rather than update a bunch of goons about a trainwreck for for internet hilarity. Ghost safe CIG mouse.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:53

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

Dusty Lens posted:

According to my sources at linkedin.

There was at least 1 he released before they updated their linked in (it may have been 2) last week.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:57

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

EightAce posted:

B4TBG email exchange is still causing fallout ... and all the wrong people are getting blamed

lol, I randomly put him on my dumb movie poster, guess I was right :v:

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:58

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

EightAce posted:

I wrote a long post and then deleted it. Its turning into Custers last stand and I just don't want to get people in trouble . I have already said to much I reckon and if people get in the poo poo because of whats discussed here and the very obvious source then that is nothing but bad.
I can highlight some stuff in bullet points but nothing at Derek Smart level of excitement

[�]

- All the hilarity and fallout from 10ftc, Starmarine being cancelled and the reddits etc have caused absolutely no concern whatsoever. Literally no one gives a gently caress. The attitude is , ' Its just noise let them have their fun we know better'. Chris in particular is totally detached from it all

I'm getting EVE Incarna flashbacks, especially with that last bit. I wonder what will happen where there is no game to recover/revert back to and use to regain customers' trust� No, wait. I don't actually wonder that at all.

Junk Puncher posted:

And this thread.
best ever spent

This is true. I also still firmly believe that there will be an excellent journalistic expos� of the whole thing (� la Conspiracy of Fools) once the dust settles. I'm sure it'll cost :10bux:

and be well worth it.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:58

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

EightAce posted:

I wrote a long post and then deleted it. Its turning into Custers last stand and I just don't want to get people in trouble . I have already said to much I reckon and if people get in the poo poo because of whats discussed here and the very obvious source then that is nothing but bad.
I can highlight some stuff in bullet points but nothing at Derek Smart level of excitement
- A couple of very public faces have left CIG UK right under everyone's noses. This may be out there already . You will know who if you check ATV and all that bollocks and then see who doesn't appear anymore. Not actual game developers just CS monkeys but significant none the less. The old adage poo poo rolls down hill is never so true when you are involved with CIG ... B4TBG email exchange is still causing fallout ... and all the wrong people are getting blamed
- I know what they are currently concentrating on , it is simply unbelievable . I cant say what it is for obvious reasons but it is up there with the farming module. talk about fiddling while Rome burns .....
- All the jobs being advertised are legit and they are getting really desperate now to fill those positions. However they just cant and Mr Smart's blogs are being cited as the reason. if anyone is interested they are paying above industry standard but you might only have the job for another 12 months at best.
- The whole animation system is simply hosed. You are looking at a team of very competent animators working flat out for a year or two to get anything working properly.
- Sq42 looks absolutely stunning (The space bits) FP stuff looks like a PS1 game and no one seems to give a poo poo. However it is not a game, there is no game play or direction. Nothing just amazing graphics in an editor. The whole thing is in a constant state of flux and a dev cycle that was already floundering is now totally FUBARED because the emperor himself is taking a hand in it personally. Some big news outlets have been in there recently doing all sorts of walk around's and interviews.
- All the hilarity and fallout from 10ftc, Starmarine being cancelled and the reddits etc have caused absolutely no concern whatsoever. Literally no one gives a gently caress. The attitude is , ' Its just noise let them have their fun we know better'. Chris in particular is totally detached from it all

The other stuff I cant talk about at the moment because it will be so obvious where its coming from

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:59

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Posting to free Tippis' post

E: too late

# ? Jan 28, 2016 08:59

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

EightAce posted:

However they just cant and Mr Smart's blogs are being cited as the reason
B4TBG email exchange is still causing fallout ... and all the wrong people are getting blamed

A single blogger and a single customer support exchange, truly insurmountable obstacles for the juggernaut that will save PC gaming.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:04

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Romes128 posted:

There was at least 1 he released before they updated their linked in (it may have been 2) last week.

The number of folks he's tagged before we all knew they were bagged is probably closer to a dozen since he first started commenting on this trainwreck.

But let me have my fun.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:05

Marching Powder: Mar 8, 2008; stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

EightAce posted:

B4TBG email exchange is still causing fallout ... and all the wrong people are getting blamed

- All the hilarity and fallout from 10ftc, Starmarine being cancelled and the reddits etc have caused absolutely no concern whatsoever. Literally no one gives a gently caress. The attitude is , ' Its just noise let them have their fun we know better'. Chris in particular is totally detached from it all

this is extremely telling.

welcome back eightace, glad you haven't overstepped any boundaries yet.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:06

Dogstoyevsky: Oct 9, 2012; If there is no Dog, everything is permitted

Wow. I wake up, Deadmau5 is modding GBS. We have a mole inside CIG, and Derek Smart is laying sick burns on an unfinished space video game. This is truly a second Golden Age for Something Awful.

E: Also glad you're alive EightAce. Obviously, find a better job soon

E2: God, LF was even sorta-back for a hot second.

Dogstoyevsky fucked around with this message at 09:12 on Jan 28, 2016

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:06

Justin Tyme: Feb 22, 2011

Romes128 posted:

There was at least 1 he released before they updated their linked in (it may have been 2) last week.

Yeah, it's safe to say his track record has been proven.

Speaking of Linkedin, there's a bunch of bad reviews on Glassdoor from around October of last year, were they posted? I haven't got an account there.

Justin Tyme fucked around with this message at 09:10 on Jan 28, 2016

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:07

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Dogstoyevsky posted:

Wow. I wake up, Deadmau5 is modding GBS. We have a mole inside CIG, and Derek Smart is laying sick burns on an unfinished space video game. This is truly a second Golden Age for Something Awful.

E: Also glad you're alive EightAce. Obviously, find a better job soon

Shame nobody will notice because we haven't been relevant since 2000

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:08

Staircase: Jun 6, 2011

Haven't watched the latest RtV, but people seem really mad about G-Forces.

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/315702/so-g-forces-will-not-effect-your-crew-wth

https://forums.robertsspaceindustri...on-these-issues

Is this another promise they're silently abandoning?

Staircase fucked around with this message at 10:10 on Jan 29, 2016

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:13

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Dogstoyevsky posted:

Wow. I wake up, Deadmau5 is modding GBS. We have a mole inside CIG, and Derek Smart is laying sick burns on an unfinished space video game. This is truly a second Golden Age for Something Awful.

People have seen enough of Web 2.0 and they want to run screaming back into the past.

At least I do.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:17

Chin: Dec 12, 2005; GET LOST 2013
-RALPH

EightAce posted:

- The whole animation system is simply hosed. You are looking at a team of very competent animators working flat out for a year or two to get anything working properly.

But Sean Tracy said yesterday that a programmer solved all of the 1st person/3rd person Cryengine animation jank with a single line of code! Two months ago!

I guess it's a pretty big line of code if they can't fit it in 28GB patch.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:21

Kakarot: Jul 20, 2013; by zen death robot; Buglord

I better move my money from Star Citizen to Lego :tinfoil:

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:23

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.

Staircase posted:

Haven't watched the latest RtV, but people seem really mad about G-Forces.

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/315702/so-g-forces-will-not-effect-your-crew-wth
https://forums.robertsspaceindustri...on-these-issues

Is this another promise they're silently abandoning?

Sometimes I don't want to take the time to make a perfect tetris on my cargo run to Gokunia 4.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:27

bumbles: Nov 26, 2015; by Lowtax

Congrats Del Marsh

http://www.annistonstar.com/opinion/editorial-del-marsh-the-star-s-citizen-of-the-year/article_d3322f08-c55c-11e5-9eda-f7ef5eca1d24.html

:v:

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:27

serious norman: Dec 13, 2007; im pickle rick!!!!

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6298202/#Comment_6298202

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:29

Ezekeel: Nov 18, 2015

This poo poo is amazing.

Currently sick at home with a flu and I should feel miserable and bored out of my mind. Instead there are all these exciting news about an impending implosion of SC and I am having the best time trolling Shitizens on reddit/Twitch/... The entertainment value of this whole mess is endless and I do not want it to stop.

http://imgur.com/sBY1J4O

Yes, that sperg is unironically wearing some body armor poo poo and yellow tinted glasses while playing a video game. If you are ever bored check him out. He is fun.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:32

Marching Powder: Mar 8, 2008; stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

bumbles posted:

Congrats Del Marsh

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:33

hanales: Nov 3, 2013

Free EightAce

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:36

hanales: Nov 3, 2013

's sources and stories.

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:36

Iglocska: Nov 23, 2015

Chin posted:

But Sean Tracy said yesterday that a programmer solved all of the 1st person/3rd person Cryengine animation jank with a single line of code! Two months ago!

I guess it's a pretty big line of code if they can't fit it in 28GB patch.

find starcitizen/ -name '*' -exec cat {} \; > oneliner.lol
tr -d '\n' < oneliner.lol

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 07:10

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

Kakarot posted:

I better move my money from Star Citizen to Lego

get a refund and buy this game --> http://store.steampowered.com/app/375230/

# ? Jan 28, 2016 09:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »