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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Tsyni posted:

I think that we should name him Jacob. He wrestled with God. I think that it fits well. Let's dooooooo this.
We go with HEBREW or SUMERIAN or BABYLONIAN pronunciation of names 'round these parts boy! We don't take KINDLY to Greek or Latin 'round 'ere!

:bahgawd:

In which case that would be Ya'akov.

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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Also, a lot of the names suggested are names of actual NPCs with real back stories! Some were referenced or you met actually.

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(

Scrree posted:

Oh whoops, I misunderstood the question.

Anyways, the king that Enkidel warned was King Zobah, Prince Zahari tried to stop the assault of Tadmor after hearing the warning but was overruled, and in the battle was saved by the melachim and was the only one of Zobah's sons to survive.

Next time we see Zahari he has been placed by the king of Tadmor as magistrate over Harmath, the leading city in the assault of Tadmor, and had been strategically wed to one of the king's daughters. Their first born son had six fingers, and had the same hair and eye color as Uriah.

So Judah should definitely seek out the friendship of the first son of Zahari, who he will think is his cousin but is actually his half-brother (and cousin), and who has a pretty pious dad.

I'd forgotten we went past it on our way back. So smart prince has a name, and it's confirmed he has a son. Most of Harmath's elite are probably dead, and he seemed like a cool dude, probably won't oppose grandpa or his successor. There were like 3 other cities in the siege, and one king survived, albeit with some injuries, I doubt he is very fond of the current situation. Probably waiting the time to strike. He is going to be first against the wall.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Diogines posted:

Also, a lot of the names suggested are names of actual NPCs with real back stories! Some were referenced or you met actually.

Keep Judah, I like it. We can always get a badass second name

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

SerSpook posted:

Keep Judah, I like it. We can always get a badass second name
Getting a new name after becoming a badass is a biblical tradition!

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

SerSpook posted:

Keep Judah, I like it. We can always get a badass second name

And we're going to have lots of kids to name too.

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.
Uzziah!

Became the king of Judah at 16. Also....

.....it kind of sounds like Uriah.

It's also fun to say Uzziah.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Also this game got me to read Genesis for the first time since I was a kid. I was surprised at the amount of cucking in it.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

You should try Judges
Edit: chapter 3, favorite judge: Ehud

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?
Judah is an awesome name.

We should take up chariot racing at the first opportunity.

(not really. wait until the second.)

Grabpot Thundergust
Jul 6, 2010
If Judah did become king or otherwise ran a band of Mighty(ish) Men, would they be the People's Front of Judah?

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.

Grabpot Thundergust posted:

If Judah did become king or otherwise ran a band of Mighty(ish) Men, would they be the People's Front of Judah?

You mean the Judah People's Front, surely.

Grabpot Thundergust
Jul 6, 2010

dog kisser posted:

You mean the Judah People's Front, surely.

Splitter.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

Ithiel ("God is with me")
Zelophehad ("First Born" or Shadow from terror"

gently caress yea one of these

Are the ones actual people in this game Diog?, and if so could we get a lore blurb about them if they're particularly well known?

Like when we were picking Ashaels name

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

Diogines posted:

We go with HEBREW or SUMERIAN or BABYLONIAN pronunciation of names 'round these parts boy! We don't take KINDLY to Greek or Latin 'round 'ere!

:bahgawd:

In which case that would be Ya'akov.



Agamemnon, the man who taught Enkidel weaponry (before handing him off to Chait) is sad to hear this!

DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008

Basscop posted:

All the time we spent wondering who our father was and we just straight up believed mommy when she told us her completely innocent and terribly vague story.

She lived in Kavodel, one of her relatives names was something that i don't remember, she shows up on the shore in a village SO loving INSANELY FAR from Baitel that it's ridiculous.

I know there was some thread speculation but we never even pressed her or spent any effort into finding anything out.

The speculation happened during the 7bird thing. There wasn't ever an opportunity to talk to her about it.

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
Write-in: Onan

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Zybourne Clock posted:

Write-in: Onan

:jerkbag:

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Basscop posted:

Vote for namechange to Girthaos Von Hammerchest.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:

That's the plan.

Pump it up! Do it!
Oct 3, 2012
Judah is a badass name, it's also a good incentive to get ourself a warhammer so people will give us the nickname "The Hammer"! I don't remember but what happened to that other Hammer dude who helped out against the heretics? Maybe he can train us.

Pump it up! Do it! fucked around with this message at 12:10 on Feb 18, 2016

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

Lord Tywin posted:

Judah is a badass name, it's also a good incentive to get ourself a warhammer so people will give us the nickname "The Hammer"!

Mostly the ladies. Judah is a fine name though!

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Write-in: Maharg.

I like the backstory. Brits kicked out the Graham clan so they reversed the spelling of their name and moved back to their old homes.

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

Lord Tywin posted:

Judah is a badass name, it's also a good incentive to get ourself a warhammer so people will give us the nickname "The Hammer"! I don't remember but what happened to that other Hammer dude who helped out against the heretics? Maybe he can train us.

Sammah The Hammah was last seen braining heretics in the Temple of the Melachim. He didn't die that night, unless he managed to catch some high-velocity masonry during the Tudiya vs. Bareen throwdown. Far as we know, he's still out there.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Zybourne Clock posted:

Write-in: Onan

:agreed:

Balder
Apr 3, 2011
I like Judah but if we're talking alternatives I'm very fond of Jehu as long as we can make war chariots our thing and drive them furiously.

Slightly Lions
Apr 13, 2009

Look what I can do!

Balder posted:

I like Judah but if we're talking alternatives I'm very fond of Jehu as long as we can make war chariots our thing and drive them furiously.

I'd vote to stick with Judah, but I do like chariots.

Diog: are chariots A Thing in Ur?

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Slightly Lions posted:

I'd vote to stick with Judah, but I do like chariots.

Diog: are chariots A Thing in Ur?

Only if pulled by donkeys.

Those bastards.

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010

The name is fine as it is.

Slightly Lions
Apr 13, 2009

Look what I can do!

FoxTerrier posted:

Only if pulled by donkeys.

Those bastards.

We were warned. We didn't listen.

We didn't listen.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

We start tomorrow night. The Capybaras need just a little more time to finish.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Woo! I hope all this modelling isn't too taxing on them.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




I am so excited.

Lord Zedd-Repulsa
Jul 21, 2007

Devour a good book.


I'd intended to stick with this, but all of the arguing while waiting for Diog to be ready to continue reminds me that every vote is likely to keep having pages of arguement behind it like it was towards the end of Enkidel's story. I don't have the ability to keep scrolling past it anymore, so I'm leaving the thread. If the out of game conflicts ever decrease, I might come back.

Again, Diog, thank you for running a great story in a great world.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

LivesInGrey posted:

I'd intended to stick with this, but all of the arguing while waiting for Diog to be ready to continue reminds me that every vote is likely to keep having pages of arguement behind it like it was towards the end of Enkidel's story. I don't have the ability to keep scrolling past it anymore, so I'm leaving the thread. If the out of game conflicts ever decrease, I might come back.

Again, Diog, thank you for running a great story in a great world.

Don't worry, LivesInGrey. I have a master plan to feed anyone that brings up old beefs in the new thread to donkeys. Demon donkeys

(Srsly I hope you decide to stay and give peace a chance :ohdear:)

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Diogines posted:

Your men sleep in their armor and it is a drat good thing they do.  The enormous winged demon snatches another of the Gebaban women in its jaws and swallows her nearly whole with its enormous head and with a quick movement swallows another!

Your Balls swiftly assemble around you and you give your order "EL HA MELEK KOL HAOLAM! CHARGE!" "ELLLL!" your Balls cry out in response, but for your heretics who cry out "SMATTAS!". Your men rush at the enormous demon, running swiftly in its direction!  It is a few hundred paces away and has ample time to eat more of the fleeing Gebeban women...







...which is exactly what it does.   Eight more Gebebans go down that things bloody throat, from which no blue vaporous smoke emerges.  Your Balls throw javelins as they charge, even those thrown by you and Uriah smash into the demon's hide and splinter apart, doing no obvious damage and not even piercing its hide.  Snarls continues to bark loudly and hundreds of Gebebans cry out in fear and terror!

Your heart races in your chest as you charge at the collosal demon, your men running beside you!  Ruth has safely made or away from the demon for what little that distance will matter.  You are almost upon the demon when it finally turns its head towards your Balls, it raises one of its wings wide and...







WOOOOOOSH! you and your men are smashed by a great gust of wind and knocked from your feet, some of you are sent flying, literally.  Your formation is shattered and your Balls scattered as they tumble apart.  Something terrible has happened.  You soar through the air and smash into the dirt, the wind knocked out of you but apparently unharmed. NOOOO! NO NO NO NO! Snarls screams inside of your own head.  You rise to see an enormous claw print in the dirt and your brother in arms Joha smashed into a pulp, literally.  His armor is shattered and his corpse is a bloody smear of disfigured blood and bone.  You see a blue image of Joha above his corpse with only the smallest hint it is ethereal, it looks quite solid.  Joha struggling to remain as he is drawn to the northeast and cries out to you "Tell my sons to be brave!  And to keep fightiiiiiiiing!" And with that he is gone as the blue image soars to the northeast.  Joha has three sons, two are in your "auxiliary" Balls back in Kavodel.

You draw your bow as swiftly as you may and let fly a bronze arrow at the demon's wing, hoping to pierce the membrane.  Your arrow makes contact and ricochets off, even this vulnerable portion of the demon seems impervious to your attack.  The demon is terrifyingly swift and upon another of your Balls, foot raised and ready to stomp flat Hurai.  You draw another arrow and aim for its eye even as...

KASH- Uriah tries to yell, he is cut short as the demon sweeps its wings again, even harder this time, sending Uriah SOARING away and several other Balls with him, ripping the very dirt beneath their feet away and launching them into the air, soaring hundreds of paces away.

Hurai is on his feet, he raises his spear and charges!

-CRUUNCH-!

You watch the demon land one of its collosal claws down atop him, smashing Hurai, breaking every bone in his body and ending his life.  Snarls yells at you TOO BIG! TOO BIG! BAD SMELLER! BAD SMELLER! WHAT DO WE DO?!  WHAT DO WE DO!? SAVE THE PACK! SAVE THE PACK!

The demon turns its back on your men to continue chasing down the Gebeban women.  Perhaps some small portion of you hoped this was an illusion or a trick or the demon not so fearsome as it looked, such hopes are wrong.  You face a demon great and terrible.  You live in a world of truly horrific terrors no mere man could ever hope to conquer and it looks like one has found you.  You have left the safety of Ur.

Your Balls are scattered and those near to you are rushing in your direction.







You are Asahel son of Enkidel. This has not been a good day. It started okay. Then a giant demon attacked your group and you are currently flying through the air. You do not have wings. This presents a problem. With a mighty gust of its wings you, your brothers in arms, even your father and Uriah are sent soaring through the air.

You fly.

And you crash.

You have faced many great and terrible dangers, you even helped to slay one of the Amalakite princes yourself... and now you are outmatched. Terribly, terribly outmatched. You scan the field for Snarls and Ruth and run towards the both of them, intent to keep them safe at any price. They are your family and you are not going to let any harm come to them... you make it to Snarls first.











You are forced to shield your eyes from the flash of a bright light somewhere nearby... something is different. Something IMPORTANT is different! Gone!? Something beside the demon which is now fleeing to the northeast. You look for your father and... do not see him. Where did he go!? You look to Snarls and ask "Where did he go boy? Where is my father!?" Snarls opens his mouth and speaks to you....

"He says, Guard the Pack!"





[...]






Goons, it has been a wild and crazy adventure. Thank you for joining us on Enkidel's Wild Ride. Enkidel's adventures have taken him to distant places and the effects of his actions will live on for many, many years. His adventure is over but the adventures of others whom Enkidel effected have only begun. Such as a boy named Judah, a child unknown to Enkidel who is at this moment being lead out into the middle of the wilderness by his grandfather, Joram, king of Tadmor under mysterious circumstances...



http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3765009

Diogines fucked around with this message at 16:23 on Feb 19, 2016

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




A Good Ending

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

I would like to apologize to everyone who was upset about just getting a black screen. If it makes you feel any better, I was not very happy about that either but I wanted to be consistent with the rules.

Well, I did just technically break them? Still, I feel like a brief glimpse of events right afterwards from the perspective of another character was a good compromise to give you closure of some sort.

I would like to thank every Goon who join our game for playing with us, the Capybaras crunch the numbers but it is all of you who made Enkidel's adventures come alive. Thank you for joining us.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:
A Good Ending indeed. Time for the next novel in the series!

Close thread, goldmine.

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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Imperialist Dog posted:

A Good Ending indeed. Time for the next novel in the series!

Close thread, goldmine.
The current plan is to run the new thread for a month or so, gain some new players and then move it back to here. After that point we will run the game out of this thread as normal, BUT, also post copies of the updates and JUST the updates to the other thread.

Why? So people who want to know is the update up can look at that thread, see there is an update(if there has been a post) and know an update is up! This way it is easier for our more... casual players to keep track and not miss updates! That is the plan, plans change but we will see how it works.

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