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Tract #54 - Reverend Wonderful (1982) Above: original and recent versions (both have 1982 copyright) Dr. Westhall (Reverend Wonderful) is a well-respected religious figure. God sends a humble cowboy in a pick-up truck to preach the true Christian gospel to Dr. Westhall, but the reverend just won't listen. One plane crash later, Dr. Westhall stands before God, and because he preached salvation through good works rather than simply accepting Jesus Christ, he is doomed to an eternity in Hell. Popery:   Social justice:  Haw Haw:  God is especially long-winded in the earlier version (top):      Reverend Wonderful went out of print in 1998, but is currently back. Despite the revisions and reprinting, it still has the 1982 copyright date. The cowboy character is based on a real-life man who goes by the name Chaplain Dann, who also appears in the next tract (The Letter). During a lengthy life spent preaching the Good News, Dann has reportedly given out over one million Chick tracts! That is impressive. Chaplain Dann's autobiography was recently published by the guy who wrote The Art of Jack T. Chick. You can read more about it here: http://www.monsterwax.com/DannBook.html Here is the current version of Reverend Wonderful: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0095/0095_01.asp
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Nov 18, 2016 01:50
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Tract #55 - The Letter (1982) Above: original and recent versions (both have 1982 copyright). This is an interesting one. It begins with a man (again modeled after Chaplain Dann) trying to give Mildred a Chick tract. She is uninterested.  That night she has a dream that her friend Frances is trying to send her a letter from Hell. Two messengers (who appear to be the pilgrim and Virgil from Dante's Divine Comedy) wander out of the Inferno and into Mildred's bedroom to deliver the letter.    When Mildred wakes up, she decides to call up Frances so she can tell her to stay out of Hell.  Unfortunately, Mildred is too late, and Frances is already there!!  This one hasn't changed much since it was first published. Here is the current version: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0079/0079_01.asp
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Nov 18, 2016 01:51
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Gutter Phoenix posted:Tract #54 - Reverend Wonderful (1982) yeah but didnt reverent wondefull except jesus into his heart or some BS? I mean the dude is a minister who actualy helps people, unlike the assfucks chick likes who are mostly con-men or petty bigoted assholes.
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Nov 18, 2016 02:00
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I knew a Chaplain Dan. He was a Christian Scientist US Army (maybe Air Force? My memory sucks. Osan AFB had more than one branch on base) Chaplain that played rugby though. He came to youth group once with a full cleat-print on his face still oozing blood, grinning like an idiot. Chappie Dan was p chill.
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Nov 18, 2016 02:45
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Dapper_Swindler posted:yeah but didnt reverent wondefull except jesus into his heart or some BS? I mean the dude is a minister who actualy helps people, unlike the assfucks chick likes who are mostly con-men or petty bigoted assholes. No, he didn't do it the way the KJV Bible says to do it if you assemble the ritual from the various chapters.
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Nov 18, 2016 02:58
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Does the KJV come with IKEA instructions? E: the Wordless Gospel is far too wordy. Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 04:32 on Nov 18, 2016 |
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Nov 18, 2016 04:30
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Dapper_Swindler posted:yeah but didnt reverent wondefull except jesus into his heart or some BS? I mean the dude is a minister who actualy helps people, unlike the assfucks chick likes who are mostly con-men or petty bigoted assholes. What I found most interesting about the tract is that it looks much more Trinitarian than most of Chick's tracts, which usually have the faceless Evilgod accompanied by a distinct and separate Superjesus. Of course in this one the deity appears to be more insane than anything else, so I guess it kind of balances out.
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Nov 18, 2016 05:27
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The King James English translation of the bible is very good imo, it's very poetic and flowing like Shakespeare. Other English bibles are very dry like "Jesus walked into the room where his followers were and felt an emotion because they did not know all the things, "I will say things to them now because of how Jesus I am" The kjv is like "And the LORD spake and said unto them gathered therein, and they that had entered, and they by THE WAYSIDE, and they whom doth suck if the very MARROW of the hogsmeade, whereun is upon them ABOUT TIRRE AND SIDON, and as he speak YAY he felt the power of the firmament for they were as sheep HAVING NO SHEPHERD, and he had pity upon them, YAY PITY for the doves of the morning TRUELY shall not rest until the SEVENTH DAY, and he spake unto them and he said:" And you're like gently caress YEAH that's some JESUS TALKIN'
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Nov 18, 2016 07:38
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naem posted:The King James English translation of the bible is very good imo, it's very poetic and flowing like Shakespeare. Agreed - KJV rules. Judges 1:19 King James Version (KJV) 19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron. Numbers 23:22 King James Version (KJV) 22 GOD brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn. 
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Nov 18, 2016 09:39
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Well, admittedly, the unicorn references were supposedly talking about rhinoceroses, as unicorn technically only refers to a creature with one horn, and there are one-horned rhinos and even the two-horned ones have one much larger horn. A narwhal is a unicorn, for example. Sounding impressive or important through use of obscure and archaic language doesn't really make the KJV good for much as a modern translation other than use as lyrics or quoting during angry tirades. E: reading the KJV, you sometimes have to translate the translation to parse what it is saying to you in English.
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Nov 18, 2016 15:41
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Tract #56 - Macho! (1982) Vatican communist revolutionary conspiracy! This one has it all.                      Macho! was discontinued in 1991, and hasn't been available for reprint since 2001, most likely because the conspiracies were a little out of date by then. That's a shame, because it's a great window into Chick's early 80's obsession with secret Vatican plots. Gutter Phoenix fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Nov 18, 2016 |
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Nov 18, 2016 19:22
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Tract #57 - Bad Bob! (1983) Above: 1983 original, 1999 revision, recent version. Bob is a bad guy. He and his buddy end up in jail. A Christian teen tries to preach to Bob, but Bob isn't interested.     A fire consumes the jail and Bob's buddy is burned to death, foreshadowing his imminent eternity in Hell.   Bob decides that he doesn't want that fate for himself, so he accepts Christ. In the 1983 version, all of the text in capital letters. It was revised in 1999 with new lower-case typeface few minor changes to the wording.  Other than that, Bad Bob! hasn't changed much. It has remained in print since 1983. You can read the current version here: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0021/0021_01.asp
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Nov 18, 2016 19:43
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Tract #58 - Is There Another Christ? (1983) Above: 1983 original, 1983 revision, 2009 revision. This is another anti-Vatican tract. It uses quite a few photos in addition to the artwork, but still manages to remain faithful to Chick's message, which is that Catholicism is bad. The original version has a fat monk on the cover, which was soon changed to a priest. One interior image is changed to match the specific cover, but other than that it remained the same.  It went out of print in 1992, and came back in 2009 with a few revisions. The newer version has a fine drawing of George W. Bush:   It also updates a picture of the Pope:  Beyond those changes, the 2009 revision isn't too much different than the 1983 original. The foreign versions from 1983 have a few small changes to the interior artwork.  Above: French, Italian, and Spanish versions. All three have the same changes to the artwork. Below are comparisons between the French and English versions:    You can read the current version here: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0047/0047_01.asp
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Nov 18, 2016 20:21
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Gutter Phoenix posted:All three have the same changes to the artwork. Below are comparisons between the French and English versions: Oh man, the French in here is bizarre, it kind of feels like either someone who learned French as a second language, or maybe this was for French-speaking territories outside of France, like French colonies in Africa. The biblical quotes/references appear correct, though. univbee fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Nov 18, 2016 |
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Nov 18, 2016 20:31
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Just your typical atheist.
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Nov 18, 2016 21:05
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Gutter Phoenix posted:Tract #58 - Is There Another Christ? (1983) The dozens (or more) of people who contributed to the various works collected in the Bible were only men as well! Then other men came and had to translate their fallible words. You can't call out preachers and prophets as only human and thus prey to bias, motivations and error, and then say the words that preachers and prophets wrote down long ago, or the second and third-hand stories they had told about them and written hundreds of years after the fact are inerrant! CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Just your typical atheist. That neckbeard is prophetic. Give him a fedora and you're set.
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Nov 18, 2016 21:10
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Tract #59 - The Poor Pope? (1983) Above: White-text mail order version. Orange-text retail version. This is the third of the three anti-Vatican promo tracts that were heavily based on the claims of Alberto Rivera, and allowed to be reprinted by his A.I.C. Christian Ministries. (The other two were 1980's My Name?... In the Vatican? and 1981's Kiss the Protestants Good-bye.) It was a promotional tract for a book from Chick Publications called Vatican Billions by Avro Manhattan, and the orange-text version was given away for free at retail locations. The white-text version was sent to mail-order customers with the very first issue of Battle Cry, which is the bi-monthly Chick Publications newsletter.                       As mentioned above, the Chick Publications version was a promotional tract for a book called Vatican Billions. The AIC version replaces an interior page promoting that book with a promotion of their own.  Top: Chick version. Bottom: AIC version. The AIC versions are recognizable for their poor quality in comparison to the Chick Publications versions. The last page of the AIC version fails to edit out a reference to Vatican Billions from the previous page.  Here are the two different AIC versions:  Here is a picture of all four versions:  Left side: Chick Publications versions. Right side: AIC versions. Back covers for Chick and AIC versions:  The Poor Pope? was only available for a short time and is permanently out of print. Like most of the promotional tracts, it is a tough one to tract down.
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Nov 18, 2016 22:18
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Assassin's Creed sequel to Black Flag lookin' good. To summarize literally just this page: Pirates were created by the Jesuits to steal gold from everyone who wasn't the Pope, and they later became the Mafia.
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Nov 18, 2016 23:01
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Pvt.Scott posted:The dozens (or more) of people who contributed to the various works collected in the Bible were only men as well! Then other men came and had to translate their fallible words. You can't call out preachers and prophets as only human and thus prey to bias, motivations and error, and then say the words that preachers and prophets wrote down long ago, or the second and third-hand stories they had told about them and written hundreds of years after the fact are inerrant! Uh, nope. According to Chick the KJV of the Bible is based only on ancient texts that were written by men directly divinely inspired by God so there are no errors in it.
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Nov 19, 2016 01:09
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muscles like this! posted:Uh, nope. According to Chick the KJV of the Bible is based only on ancient texts that were written by men directly divinely inspired by God so there are no errors in it. Oh, mea culpa.
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Nov 19, 2016 01:37
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Agreed - KJV rules. Genesis 27:11 And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man
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Nov 19, 2016 02:04
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2 Kings 2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 2 Kings 2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. don't talk poo poo, won't get bit.
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Nov 19, 2016 02:26
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Ezekiel 25:17 The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am THE LORD when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been saying that for years.
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Nov 19, 2016 02:30
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Tract #60 - Wounded Children (1983) I don't want to spoil anything. Just read it.                      Wounded Children replaced 1972's The Gay Blade as the stock tract to deal with the subject of homosexuality. When people mention how offensive Chick tracts are, this title often comes up. For that very reason, it remains one of the most popular tracts among collectors. It was pulled from the Chick Publications catalog in 1990, shortly after Doom Town was released. Unlike that tract and The Gay Blade, it is not available to be reprinted.
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Nov 19, 2016 02:36
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Tract #61 - Titanic (1983) Above: Original and current versions. Chester's future looks bright, and he's even taking a trip on the Titanic! His aunt is worried about his soul, but he's a good guy. See, he even says "Ha Ha Ha" instead of "Haw Haw Haw" like villains usually do:  Give it a rest Aunt Sophie!!  Spoiler alert - the Titanic hits an iceberg and sinks. Chester hopes to be saved (Get it??!!).  Spoiler alert 2 - Chester doesn't gt saved (in either sense). He dies and goes to Hell. Another happy ending!!   Except for some changes to the cover and font over the years, Titanic has remained in print and essentially the same since 1983. You can read the most current version here: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0048/0048_01.asp
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Nov 19, 2016 02:53
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The Gay Blade? Chick had a tract about Zorro?
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Nov 19, 2016 02:53
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Pvt.Scott posted:The Gay Blade? Chick had a tract about Zorro? Well, it's not about Lou Reed.
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Nov 19, 2016 04:18
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Got any amyl nitrate?
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Nov 19, 2016 04:23
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Porno*.SniperWoreConverse posted:Got any amyl nitrate? Sure, get a rush. *Gal 6:7
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Nov 19, 2016 04:47
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Satan seems like a really nice fella
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Nov 19, 2016 04:56
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MissEchelon posted:Satan seems like a really nice fella Yeah, I remember that tract partly because it is one of the ones where Satan really comes across as a sympathetic character.
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Nov 19, 2016 04:59
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I wish I had my own personal Satan. my life would probably be a lot more interesting.
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Nov 19, 2016 05:00
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Satan's just this really nice guy, very supportive, and he's always there for you. Thanks Satan.
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Nov 19, 2016 05:33
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On the Titanic tract, of course the protagonist's entirely correct Aunt whom he foolishly ignores is named Sophia, a goddess of wisdom. Of loving course she is. E: cancer* *A.I.D.S. Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 07:09 on Nov 19, 2016 |
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Nov 19, 2016 07:05
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MissEchelon posted:Satan seems like a really nice fella The scene where he's telling the guy to take the pills he's not talking about suicide, he's reminding the guy to take his medication for depression.
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Nov 19, 2016 07:08
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ditty bout my clitty posted:If homosexuality is wrong, how can I love jesus? With no mention in the Ten Commandments or the teachings of Christ, there's room for interpretation. If you're living the life, you're already asking for - and receiving - forgiveness for anything that might be sinful, even the stuff that you did without malice, and presumably you're trying your best and have good intentions. If you suspect homosexuality, like not keeping kosher and wearing mixed fabrics and the other stuff in Leviticus*, ISN'T actually a sin at all, and it turns out you're right, obviously you're fine. But if you're wrong you're ALSO fine, because Christianity at its most base is all about grace. *Old Testament anyway. Then Jesus comes along and says, God sent me to tell you how he wants you to be, etc.
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Nov 19, 2016 20:17
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Plus, there is only one unforgivable sin listed in the Bible, blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Long story short, the only sin that can't be forgiven is not accepting God's forgiveness for your sins, is what I've been able to parse out of that one. It's actually the Divine Breath that fills and changes a believer, and to deny or mock Its ability to do so is to deny your salvation. Otherwise, I guess if you ever made a joke about the Holy Ghost or some poo poo, you're doomed for eternity. Everything else is negotiable as long as you're sincerely trying and have trust in the Father. The fact that homosex is an issue in the New Testament has more to do with most of the places it was practiced were de facto temples to pagan gods, so even doing your bro in the butt in the privacy of your own villa as a Christian at the time might be seen as tacit support for Swolebro, god of gyms and baths, etc. That would be a reasonable reading given the context of the target churches, their surroundings and the types of things Paul wrote other churches about. An additional reason for warnings against male homosexual activity in both the Old and New Testament is that it served as a way of protecting the health of the community. That's why "gay butt sex is an abomination" is right next to "eating shellfish is an abomination" in a list of community prohibitions: both are more likely than other activities to get you and others ill. Paul told women not to preach and to cover their heads in one church because many of those women who were teaching had been pagan priestesses and were probably still dressing in a similar manner to their old ways. It was a quick and dirty solution to avoid outside confusion, as well as hopefully lessen the influence of former pagan teachings. Jesus said all those cleanliness and purity laws in the OT didn't matter any more because he was the New Fuckin' Deal. Jesus didn't have anything to say about Paul's opinions and instructions because by that time He was already dead, undead and then ascended into heaven. I think Paul was a busybody and a big jerk, but that's just my opinion.
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Nov 19, 2016 21:50
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love gay sex, love blaspheming the holy spirit
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Nov 19, 2016 21:53
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Gutter Phoenix posted:Tract #46 - The Sissy? (1978) Am I the only one who finds this reminiscent of Jim Goad's Trucker Fags In Denial?
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Nov 19, 2016 22:00
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Gutter Phoenix posted:Dr. Westhall (Reverend Wonderful) is a well-respected religious figure. God sends a humble cowboy in a pick-up truck to preach the true Christian gospel to Dr. Westhall, but the reverend just won't listen. One plane crash later, Dr. Westhall stands before God, and because he preached salvation through good works rather than simply accepting Jesus Christ, he is doomed to an eternity in Hell. Rev. Wonderful is most likely based on Billy Graham. The bizarrely antinomian Independent Fundamentalist Baptists like Chick hated him since he dared to meet with the pope and do some ecumenical outreach stuff with the filthy papists. Also he dared to say that salvation was based on continuing discipleship and living as a Christian rather than saying the magic words at the end of a Chick tract. Pvt.Scott posted:An additional reason for warnings against male homosexual activity in both the Old and New Testament is that it served as a way of protecting the health of the community. That's why "gay butt sex is an abomination" is right next to "eating shellfish is an abomination" in a list of community prohibitions: both are more likely than other activities to get you and others ill. I know the reasoning for the prohibition against eating pork (undercooked pork from pigs fed a diet of scraps and garbage was really likely to give you parasites) but what was the reasoning for the prohibition on shellfish?
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Nov 19, 2016 22:27
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