A massive black sarcophagus was unearthed in Egypt

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > A massive black sarcophagus was unearthed in Egypt

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

We have no idea who's inside.

https://www.livescience.com/63027-mmassive-egyptian-sarcophagus-mystery.html

quote:

A massive black granite sarcophagus and a sculpture of a man who may be buried inside have been discovered in a tomb in Alexandria, Egypt.

The granite sarcophagus looks foreboding: It's nearly 9 feet long, 5 feet wide and 6 feet tall (2.7 by 1.5 by 1.8 meters). And, it may be the largest sarcophagus ever discovered in Alexandria, said Mostafa Waziri, general secretary of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities, in a statement released by Egypt's antiquities ministry.

A thick layer of mortar covers much of the sarcophagus, suggesting that it has not been opened since it was buried, Waziri said in the statement. As such, the person buried in the sarcophagus, along with any clothing or jewelry they wore and any artifacts they were buried with, may still be intact, waiting to be discovered.

Also there is a featureless alabaster head

Personally I think we should open the giant black Egyptian sarcophagus, and maybe also mock the featureless alabaster head.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:24

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:24

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Obviously it's aliens :beck:

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:25

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

werent humans supposed to be giants in the antediluvian era

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:26

Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

kurt russell?

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:26

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

Mumm-Ra?

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:30

Hairy Right Hook: Sep 9, 2001; Hee to the ho

Cursed image

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:31

Adjectivist Philosophy: Oct 6, 2003; When you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

*interplanetary wailing intensifies*

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:32

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

is the remnants of some x men viral marketing or something

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:33

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

I'm actually glad it's granite and not basalt

Nothing good has ever come out of a giant black basalt sarcophagus. The record is mum on granite.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:33

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Can't wait to be killed by whatever eldritch horrors are unleashed! A+ would open again

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:34

Gobblecoque: Sep 6, 2011

It's me. I'm in the sarcophagus. Help.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:34

Teikanmi: Dec 16, 2006; by R. Guyovich

hopefully its this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdpTGOepEvU&t=17s

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:36

Mongolian Queef: May 6, 2004

That guy must be built like a brick shithouse.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:37

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

at least we know who isnt in the sarcophagus, it's not nearly large enough to hold op's mom

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:38

Beefeater: May 17, 2003; I'm hungry.; Hair Elf

Make sure Brendan Fraser is on hand when they crack that sucker open.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:38

Indy: Mar 30, 2005; Hey guys, what's up?

Phy posted:

A thick layer of mortar covers much of the sarcophagus, suggesting that it has not been opened since it was buried,

Maybe someone wanted to make sure that whatever is inside couldn't get out :cthulhu:

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:38

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

If something ancient and deathless rises from this tomb and declares itself the Pharaoh of The World, I vote we give it a chance. We really can't just assume it would be worse than what we've got going now.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:39

damn horror queefs: Oct 14, 2005; say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

If videogames have taught me nothing else, it's that 1 of 3 things are in that coffin:

1. Ancient evil that triggers the apocalypse
2. High level loot
3. A bomb

I am good with all three outcomes tbqh

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:39

Over There: Jun 28, 2013; by Azathoth

Can't wait for them to take 6 years to pry it open.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:39

Nerses IV: May 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Great I can't wait to watch Trump have to nuke the great, shambling revenant of a forgotten king

Weird way to win a bet, but hey

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:40

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

If something ancient and deathless rises from this tomb and declares itself the Pharaoh of The World, I vote we give it a chance. We really can't just assume it would be worse than what we've got going now.

A vote for Pharaoh of the World is a vote for stability and good governance

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:40

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Phy posted:

A vote for Pharaoh of the World is a vote for stability and good governance

5000 years of running the illuminati from my void black granite tomb can't be wrong! the economy is safe in my cold, undead hands.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:43

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

it's a time capsule full of dated memes

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:43

Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

It is an egyptian goon and whatever passes for his anime collection back in the day

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:44

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Nerses IV posted:

Great I can't wait to watch Trump have to nuke the great, shambling revenant of a forgotten king

Weird way to win a bet, but hey

Nukes were given to mankind by Nyarlathotep as part of his grand plan, so he's probably immune to them.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:44

Verisimilidude: Dec 20, 2006; Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges

whatever's inside, I hope it kills us all

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:45

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

drat horror queefs posted:

If videogames have taught me nothing else, it's that 1 of 3 things are in that coffin:

1. Ancient evil that triggers the apocalypse
2. High level loot
3. A bomb

I am good with all three outcomes tbqh

See you get everyone all excited and then when it's just some guy who's been dead for 4000 years everyone is disappointed. You need to temper your expectations.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:45

EdwardSwifferhands: Apr 27, 2008; I will probably lick whatever you put in front of me.

Stay safe sarcophagus ghost.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:46

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

myDad posted:

it's a time capsule full of dated memes

Pepe-amun, god of lolz

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:47

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

See you get everyone all excited and then when it's just some guy who's been dead for 4000 years everyone is disappointed. You need to temper your expectations.

No game designer would ever put a massive black granite sarcophagus into a level, next to a featureless alabaster head no less, and have it just be some old dead jamoke inside

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:47

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

See you get everyone all excited and then when it's just some guy who's been dead for 4000 years everyone is disappointed. You need to temper your expectations.

It's probably just a mummy.

But it might be a really goth mummy to go with the all-black aesthetic, and that'll be good too.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:47

Zoe: Jan 19, 2007; Hair Elf

It's going to be one of those giants from the Bible, here to finally own the libs.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:47

Creed Reunion Tour: Jul 3, 2007; by Cyrano4747; Grimey Drawer

Will its opening be streamed in glorious 4k HD?? Otherwise they may as well just bury it again.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:48

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

It's similar to when NASA calls a press conference and everyone is like THIS IS IT -- ALIENS! and then NASA just says "Hey we discovered that <astronomical body most people have never heard of> may have had water at some point in it's 6.8 billion years floating around <star most people have never heard of>"

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:49

hemale in pain: Jun 5, 2010

posting from inside the massive black sarcophagus

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:49

fishing with the fam: Feb 29, 2008; Durr

As long as Geraldo is there to televise the opening I'll be happy.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 16:49

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?