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LSD CURES JUNKIES
Sep 12, 2013

ThisIsJohnWayne posted:

This makes me remember that movie with Donald Sutherland about the soviet police officer who hunted a pedofilic serial killer for like 28 years (don't remember the number, but it was something mind boggling).
He caught him in the end.

And this is the darkest derail. It's all so more haunting being in the happiest silly thread.

Citizen X. It was about Andrei Chikatilo. He was convicted of 52 murders.

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Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



LSD CURES JUNKIES posted:

Citizen X. It was about Andrei Chikatilo. He was convicted of 52 murders.

Was that the one with Stephen Rea as the investigator? I thought it was pretty good.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Say Nothing posted:

Just backing up my music collection, realizing around 3,000 songs is about 8 GB. How do you manage to get a TB of anything?

Getting a TB worth of videos is not that hard if you're not selective about what you download and keep.

Now, 58 TB of some of the vilest and most underground poo poo imaginable...

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



a billion copies of the same file all with lovely kazaa-era filenames

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

I assume it's just Cop Math. The same way they come up with the 'street value' of drugs.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

The Lone Badger posted:

I assume it's just Cop Math. The same way they come up with the 'street value' of drugs.

Drug residue on an object means that that entire object counts towards the weight of that drug.

Bong weighs a thousand grams? That’s intent to distribute.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?


"Comedian Jon Stewart rescues goats from New York subway tracks"

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



quote:

Police say Larocco had stolen 99 packs of Pokemon cards, a pair of shoes and socks, and chopped ham that he had stuffed down his underwear. In total, police say he took merchandise valued at over $120.

Larocco was arrested and charged with theft by unlawful taking.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


:newlol:

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

What's the world coming to when an upstanding shoplifter isn't treated with even a modicum of respect?

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!

The MSJ posted:

Anish Kapoor is at it again: Man hospitalised after falling in Anish Kapoor installation

This is indeed a real hole, not something he painted onto the floor.


You may know him by his alter ego, Bugs Bunny.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Pastry of the Year posted:

Larocco was arrested and charged with theft by unlawful taking.

Is there some other kind of theft that I'm not aware of?

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012

ultrafilter posted:

Is there some other kind of theft that I'm not aware of?

Presumably, those that are a bit more involved than just picking poo poo up that doesn’t belong to you, like theft by breaking and entering.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
You can steal something like electricity that costs someone money, but it doesn’t deprive them of the use of the thing.

Azathoth
Apr 3, 2001

ultrafilter posted:

Is there some other kind of theft that I'm not aware of?

Contrast it with "theft by swindle" where the thief convinces the victim to give the thief something willingly, under false pretenses.

I'm sure there's a bunch of other "theft by ____" out there too, which lets the punishment be different depending on how something was stolen.

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

Azathoth posted:

Contrast it with "theft by swindle" where the thief convinces the victim to give the thief something willingly, under false pretenses.

I'm sure there's a bunch of other "theft by ____" out there too, which lets the punishment be different depending on how something was stolen.

"Theft by Yoink!" seems it should be a thing

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR

🔊😴

Azathoth posted:

Contrast it with "theft by swindle" where the thief convinces the victim to give the thief something willingly, under false pretenses.

I'm sure there's a bunch of other "theft by ____" out there too, which lets the punishment be different depending on how something was stolen.

I've heard it referred to as "theft by deception." This was taking something off the shelf at a store and trying to return it.

Gynocentric Regime
Jun 9, 2010

by Cyrano4747

Azathoth posted:

Contrast it with "theft by swindle" where the thief convinces the victim to give the thief something willingly, under false pretenses.

I'm sure there's a bunch of other "theft by ____" out there too, which lets the punishment be different depending on how something was stolen.

There's also the bullshit "theft by finding" where if someone loses something valuable it's on you to find the owner and return it or give it to the cops.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Gynocentric Regime posted:

There's also the bullshit "theft by finding" where if someone loses something valuable it's on you to find the owner and return it or give it to the cops.

Wait, you mean "finders keepers" isn't the law? :thunk:

Azathoth
Apr 3, 2001

"Theft by ..." sounds weird, but makes sense if you think about it as legislators trying to outlaw some new scummy practice that's technically legal because the definition of "theft" in their state is defined was a certain narrow sense way back when and legislators don't want to mess with the existing definition for fear of causing problems with previous case law.

"Wait, Gram Gram and Pep Pep gave the deed to their house to John Q. Criminalson because he said he was the King of Schleswig-Holstein and if they gave it to him as a gift that he would show them favor in the future?"

"Yep, and it's perfectly legal because he didn't force them to sign it over by violence or threat of violence, so it's not theft. And that perfidious Criminalson didn't explicitly promise them anything specifically so it's not fraud. There's nothing we can do about it!"

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

All in all, not nearly as bad as that time cilantro auto-corrected to "semen"

Croccers
Jun 15, 2012

Say Nothing posted:

Just backing up my music collection, realizing around 3,000 songs is about 8 GB. How do you manage to get a TB of anything?
No-one knows how to compress anything these days, that's how.

Phlegmish posted:

Getting a TB worth of videos is not that hard if you're not selective about what you download and keep.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

:patriot:

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Hero we deserve.

Tobermory
Mar 31, 2011

Florida crocodile spotted using pool noodle to cross canal

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

ncumbered_by_idgits
Sep 20, 2008


That lad is an absolute unit.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Dude only knows about 50 words, like large, huge, tremendous, beautiful, big, and NO COLLUSION!!!

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Bogus Adventure posted:

Dude only knows about 50 words, like large, huge, tremendous, beautiful, big, and NO COLLUSION!!!

Sad!

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

I don't think Americans really understand sumo. Sure, these dudes are big, but the suits and hair just aren't right.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


The looming deluge of connected dildos is a security nightmare

Agents are GO!
Dec 29, 2004

Vietnamese court sentences US citizens to 14 years in jail

That's obviously not the funny part (unless you're Guy Goodbody), this is:

quote:

“We will continue to monitor Mr. Nguyen’s welfare, advocate for him and provide consular services until his release,” U.S. Embassy spokesman Pope Thrower said in a statement.

That is a great name.

BattleMaster
Aug 14, 2000


I tried the updated recipe and it tastes worse

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/1032016105974517760

quote:

"He had his dog with him, that's why he sat outside," Mr. Ezekiel said.

"We said 'you can't feed your dog or the challenge is void'.

"He said it's a £4,500 dog and I'm not giving him fried food."

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!
Man breaks into waterpark, steals funnel cake, melts ice cream, ruins summer


quote:

A Waterloo, Iowa man met his own, ah, Waterloo when he stole “an undisclosed amount of funnel cakes” from a waterpark while hiding his face with a bandana—a bandana he’s also wearing in “a personal Facebook photo.”

Per the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier, authorities are alleging that, in the early hours of July 6, 2018, Dylan Anthony Hoffert and three other people entered the Lost Island Waterpark. While there, they took the aforementioned undisclosed number of funnel cakes. They also left the freezer door open—who raised you, unnamed Waterloo residents?—a move that ruined “$300 worth of funnel cakes and ice cream” and presumably led to some crying children.

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

It’s easy to lose track of small things.

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