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OXBALLS DOT COM posted:Alright, which of you knuckleheads was this?? Ahahaha, Viramax the Bloodless believed me when I told him the Midwest was a font of arcane power ahahahaha oh man I can see his dumb lich face right now as they haul off this stuff and undo centuries of his work. That's what you get for sending a bunch of paladins to my tower, skullfucker!
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Mar 1, 2019 15:18
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I tried to develop a new teleportation spell but when I used it my liver was teleported into the ceiling of my laboratory oh god help I'm dying what do I dooooooo?!
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Mar 1, 2019 15:31
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Honky Dong Country posted:I tried to develop a new teleportation spell but when I used it my liver was teleported into the ceiling of my laboratory oh god help I'm dying what do I dooooooo?! Assuming you don't have a spare liver around (which you probably should for future reference) you either want to make yourself temporarily undead until you can fish out your liver, or summon a Medical Demon. Fair warning on that - the bills are gonna be nightmarish unless you already have a medical plan with one of the Higher Demons. I had to get my hand reattached once and it took me 150 years to pay off that loan. After that ordeal I learned to cast a Following Spell on yourself - little life hack. If you lose a limb or organ or whatever it'll float back to you. Combine that with a Repair All and you'll save yourself a ton of medical bills.
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Mar 1, 2019 15:57
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Honky Dong Country posted:I tried to develop a new teleportation spell but when I used it my liver was teleported into the ceiling of my laboratory oh god help I'm dying what do I dooooooo?! I gotta an undo spell that work a lot like pressing ctrl - z. It might work.
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Mar 1, 2019 15:57
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R.L. Stine posted:
Cup the electro-balls
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Mar 1, 2019 18:20
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Any good parties coming up? I know most of you are recluses, but I got into the unnatural arts of Blood, Spirits, Demons, Faye, and the Elements so I could have fun for eternity.
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Mar 1, 2019 18:29
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Speleothing posted:Any good parties coming up? I know most of you are recluses, but I got into the unnatural arts of Blood, Spirits, Demons, Faye, and the Elements so I could have fun for eternity. *points wand at dilz* Engorgio!
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Mar 1, 2019 18:38
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A Fancy Hat posted:I visited an estate sale this week and picked up some great deals. Just want to brag a little for some magic folk who can appreciate what I found! Lol you just got got by the new Hyborian Prince scam - the blood is indeed from a silver dragon, but it’s cursed - good luck getting anything out of it 
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Mar 1, 2019 21:26
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Skypie posted:That's what you get for sending a bunch of paladins to my tower, skullfucker! i highly recommend summoning a cadre of gimp imps. the last time a bunch of paladins showed up at my place they ended up having their deepest closeted desires fulfilled and they all became fallen it's not even hard to maintain their loyalty, just pop over to the mandarake and buy them a bunch of eromanga every few months and you're golden
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Mar 1, 2019 21:31
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So I just tried to make myself undead until I can figure out this whole liver thing and I think I messed something up. Either I teleported my skin off or turned it invisible because I can see all my own meat. I can't tell which though because awhile back I tried an ironskin spell and instead of making my skin super tough I just can't feel anything with it so I don't know if it's actually there or not anymore. Ugh my mother always said I should have just become the village gong farmer.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:14
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I think you need to be a cleric to turn undead. Should have thought twice before practicing wizardry, apostate!
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Mar 1, 2019 22:19
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be careful with all that exposed meat around your skeletons!
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Mar 1, 2019 22:23
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My quick and dirty fix would be to cast an illusion spell so everyone sees skin on you regardless of whether or not it's actually there. If you cast your way into a problem, you can always cast your way out of it. Well, not necessarily out of it, but at least into a different problem.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:27
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Cast detect life on yourself and then get back to me.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:28
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This is p funny, good mage humor.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:51
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Bob the cleric turns undead. His face loses all color, lips and eyes dry out and whiten. He whispers "boo". This is just another example of discrimination and unfair stereotypes about differently living. The god botherers shouldn't be allowed to do this poo poo.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:55
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welp just hexed the thread lmao owned idiots
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Mar 1, 2019 23:24
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being a bard is actually pretty rad. not only do i loving kill it at karaoke night, but that's also my power focusing ritual. bards are the only magic users who regularly dip their wand, except for those of you Thelemites (OTO if ya nasty). Necromancers are the exception, of course. they're always getting boned
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Mar 1, 2019 23:59
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rap music posted:welp just hexed the thread lmao owned idiots I'm behind wall of fire binch can't get to me
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Mar 2, 2019 00:23
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rap music posted:welp just hexed the thread lmao owned idiots looks like u hexed yourself bitch
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Mar 2, 2019 00:23
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Mar 2, 2019 05:02
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What is this lich doing to two invisible stalkers!?
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Mar 2, 2019 05:04
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It looks like he's got all the stalks he needs iykwim
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Mar 2, 2019 05:06
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maintaining both skeletal and living body parts at the same time is a lot of work for no particular benefit. so, the buff body (to declare you are dtf) and skull head (to declare you have a scary skull head) combo requires real dedication to aesthetics. i've always respected that resolve to look good.
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Mar 2, 2019 05:07
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It's illusions duh. He's just a puny skeleton, ha! I want to kick sand at him on the beach.
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Mar 2, 2019 05:16
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Mar 2, 2019 05:48
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Got a couple of new spells from the ole goblin cauldron. Force shammy Conjure Spare Bicycle Wheel Locate Matching Phone Recharger Reset Alarm Clock Curse of Toenail Clippings in Bed
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Mar 2, 2019 06:35
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What the gently caress is a phone, my wizard?
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Mar 2, 2019 07:03
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Colonel Cancer posted:What the gently caress is a phone, my wizard? look at this harry potter rear end motherfucker who refuses to incorporate modern technology into his sorcerous lifestyle
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Mar 2, 2019 07:41
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CarpenterWalrus posted:being a bard is actually pretty rad. not only do i loving kill it at karaoke night, but that's also my power focusing ritual. bards are the only magic users who regularly dip their wand, except for those of you Thelemites (OTO if ya nasty). Necromancers are the exception, of course. they're always getting boned Karaoke? Really? I bet you sing in every miserable, two-Orc tavern around, hoping some big-name 'producer' will show up and give you a deal. Speaking of deals... This week we've got a barrel-bustin' deal on Mystery Wands! What are they? We don't know! Think of the fun you'll have, discovering all the properties of your new wand. And at these prices, you can't afford not to buy!
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Mar 2, 2019 08:03
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Khazar-khum posted:Speaking of deals... Hrmm...I do need some more "trap loot" for my decoy dungeons. I'll port by later and have a gander. You got a line on any "Irregular" magic items? Stuff that looks like something exciting but turns out to be less than ideal? Not exactly cursed, but Like, imagine if a third rate apprentice got drunk and started churning out stuff. I used to have a "Ring of Water Breathing" that if was put on, would cause that persons lungs to fill with water. Was a loving riot. Lost it in a move somewhere. Johnny Aztec fucked around with this message at 08:20 on Mar 2, 2019 |
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Mar 2, 2019 08:14
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Check out my custom painted wagon boys. That's right, a middle manager in a nondescript office, typing up a loving memo, goddamn this is badass. loving awesome. Let's ride about the village and impress some wenches.
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Mar 2, 2019 08:17
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i'm an ancient necromancer and i just cant stand all these femnist witches trying to shatter the crypt ceiling. it's necroMANcer!!!1 #blackpill
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Mar 2, 2019 08:51
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:i'm an ancient necromancer and i just cant stand all these femnist witches trying to shatter the crypt ceiling. it's necroMANcer!!!1 #blackpill Buddy, there's ancient, and there's ancient. I'd watch this kind of talk around the really ancient ones. Check the hip bones on some of the Egyptians, the Assyrians, and even some of the Greeks. Way more got their start as priestesses than you'd guess now that they're a few millennia past the constraints of flesh.
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Mar 2, 2019 10:05
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I'm an install wizard. I also do setups and uninstalls but nobody wants to call themselves uninstall wizard anymore because of all the jokes. Computers are in fact magic.
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Mar 2, 2019 12:08
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I've finally given up trying to understand the tax rules for the parts of my wizard tower located on the ethereal plane and I'm now searching for a mathmagician to do my tax declaration and yearly accounting - any recommendations?
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Mar 2, 2019 13:07
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As a Narcomancer, I really dislike how people assume I'm a Necromancer with dyslexia. #NarcomancyProblems
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Mar 2, 2019 13:12
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you'd think that the capability of liches would eventually plateau, and that's mostly correct. the exception is when it comes to fighting other liches. see, for as long as liches have existed their biggest fear has been their peers. so, there has been an endless arms race between divination and anti-divination to find and hide phylacteries. only other similarly ancient liches possess the necessary knowledge and skills to defend against this ridiculous bullshit. so uh, don't be surprised if one of them makes a dramatic flourish and simply apports your phylactery into their hand.
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Mar 2, 2019 13:27
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Dumbledore was in fact a punk bitch, that old gently caress ain't poo poo
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Mar 2, 2019 13:36
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lightning bolt! lightning bolt! lightning bolt!
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Mar 2, 2019 14:15
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